Phineas: Hey Ferb, snap out of it. What happened back there [when you got those blueprints mixed up]?
Ferb: I... was weak.
— Phineas and Ferb, "I Scream, You Scream"
Artemus Gordon: It's nice having her on board, she's a breath of fresh ass.
James West: Pardon me?
Artemus Gordon: What?
James West: You said "ass."
Artemus Gordon: No, I didn't. I said, "It's nice having her on board, she's a breast of fresh air."
"But how can I [look at Jack's eyes in Titanic], when...boobies?"
—Bret Elrich, The Rotten Tomatoes Show
"it was at that point when i got distracted by his moms HOT ASS…"
"Sure, they're easy. That's why I dress like this. When they're looking down to check you out, you can usually smash them on the base of the skull, or deliver an uppercut that knocks them flat... It's simple. When you want a man, you jab him with a Bothan Stunner, then while he's screaming in pain, slap some stun cuffs on him. Then starve him for two or three days until he becomes open to suggestion, then double check his bounty and see if he's worth anything... Call it what you want. Me, I love my targets."
"I've been a young man. Boobs are near the center of the universe, until you turn twenty-five or so. Which is also when young men's auto insurance rates go down. This is not a coincidence."
Bomb-Disposal Expert: (calmly but urgently) Okay, we have fifteen seconds to bypass the timer circuit. On the count of three, I'm going to switch to auxiliary power, and I want you to short out these contacts, got it?
Second Expert: Got it.
First Expert: Okay, one, two... (an attractive woman walks by)
First Expert: Whoa.
Second Expert: Yes.
First Expert: Mmm-MMM.
Second Expert: YES.
First Expert: Whoa momma.
Second Expert: YESSSS.
— Dave Barry's Guide to Guys (explaining Lust-Induced Brain Freeze)
Alice: (with regards to a comic at a comic shop) Hey, if I pretended to hit on you, would I distract you long enough to sneak it away?
Leonard: ... Yes, but you would be using your superpowers for evil.
Alice: Damn, I've been forbidden by my Kryptonian father to do so... I'm Alice.
Leonard: (shakes her hand) Leonard.
Alice: You're very cute, Leonard.
Leonard: Thanks, you too. (offers the comic) You know, go ahead and take it.
Alice: No no no, I did evil.
"Your words sound vaguely suspicious, but I'm too distracted by your midriff to notice. Seriously, I bet you could grate cheese on those abs."
— Yugi, Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series
"That's why you need to join your forces and use your powers for good....holy shit Matilda! You've got a great rack!"
— Nella, The Nostalgia Chick
(Spike, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie walk into a shed full of dismembered and/or mutilated animal corpses)
Spike: Oh my God! ... (runs over to a box full of "Playhorse" magazines) Look at all this porn!