Quotes / Distracted by the Sexy

"Dirty monkey! Now where- (turns to see Goku's abs) Oh my God, you grind meat on those — GAH!"

Cell: So, you gonna take a swing? Or are you just gonna stand there, staring into my eyes?
Ruby: Just look at the ball.
Sapphire: I'm trying, but all I want to look at is you!
Ruby: Don't worry. You can look at me when you're running for home.

Phineas: Hey Ferb, snap out of it. What happened back there [when you got those blueprints mixed up]?
Ferb: I... was weak.
Phineas and Ferb, "I Scream, You Scream"

Artemus Gordon: It's nice having her on board, she's a breath of fresh ass.
James West: Pardon me?
Artemus Gordon: What?
James West: You said "ass."
Artemus Gordon: No, I didn't. I said, "It's nice having her on board, she's a breast of fresh air."

"But how can I [look at Jack's eyes in Titanic], when... boobies?"
Bret Elrich, The Rotten Tomatoes Show

"it was at that point when i got distracted by his mom's HOT ASS…"

"Gaaaahhh!!! Leg Cramp!"
Laguna, Dissidia Duodecim, Final Fantasy

"Sure, they're easy. That's why I dress like this. When they're looking down to check you out, you can usually smash them on the base of the skull, or deliver an uppercut that knocks them flat... It's simple. When you want a man, you jab him with a Bothan Stunner, then while he's screaming in pain, slap some stun cuffs on him. Then starve him for two or three days until he becomes open to suggestion, then double check his bounty and see if he's worth anything... Call it what you want. Me, I love my targets."

"I've been a young man. Boobs are near the center of the universe, until you turn twenty-five or so. Which is also when young men's auto insurance rates go down. This is not a coincidence."

Bomb-Disposal Expert: (calmly but urgently) Okay, we have fifteen seconds to bypass the timer circuit. On the count of three, I'm going to switch to auxiliary power, and I want you to short out these contacts, got it?
Second Expert: Got it.
First Expert: Okay, one, two... (an attractive woman walks by)
First Expert: Whoa.
Second Expert: Yes.
First Expert: Mmm-MMM.
Second Expert: YES.
First Expert: Whoa momma.
Second Expert: YESSSS.
Bomb: Boom.
Dave Barry's Guide to Guys (explaining Lust-Induced Brain Freeze)

Alice: (with regards to a comic at a comic shop) Hey, if I pretended to hit on you, would I distract you long enough to sneak it away?
Leonard: ... Yes, but you would be using your superpowers for evil.
Alice: Damn, I've been forbidden by my Kryptonian father to do so... I'm Alice.
Leonard: (shakes her hand) Leonard.
Alice: You're very cute, Leonard.
Leonard: Thanks, you too. (offers the comic) You know, go ahead and take it.
Alice: No no no, I did evil.

"It wasn't my fault! I was falling madly in love with her! I was bedazzled by her sweet bosom!"
Prince Thadeous, Your Highness

"Your words sound vaguely suspicious, but I'm too distracted by your midriff to notice. Seriously, I bet you could grate cheese on those abs."

"That's why you need to join your forces and use your powers for good....holy shit Matilda! You've got a great rack!"

(Spike, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie walk into a shed full of dismembered and/or mutilated animal corpses)
Spike: Oh my God! ... (runs over to a box full of "Playhorse" magazines) Look at all this porn!

"All I know about Zatanna's hokey magic is when she says something backwards, she causes it to happen. Guess I'll have to humor her until I can shock her back to reality. Just hope SHE doesn't shock me into FANTASY first!"
Green Arrow, Action Comics 434 "Zatanna's Double Identity!"

Asuka: Ow! Watch it, Third!
Shinji: I’m sorr-
Asuka: I bet I could fling you off this spot hard enough to hit the roof of that truck, Third Child. What gives?
Shinji: Um… I wasn’t watching where I was going?
Asuka: …you were staring at my ass again, weren’t you?
Shinji: ………yes?
Asuka: (smirking wickedly) Good.
A Crown of Stars, chapter 48

"I'm sorry," his mouth said on autopilot. A small part of his brain was concentrating on not dropping the hot pot on his feet, because most of it was trying not to drool helplessly over the way Asuka's long, smooth legs disappeared up under the hem of the towel, mixed in with memories of last night that said sight triggered.
Shinji Ikari, Advice and Trust, chapter 3

You can't think, "That's a cute girl in the fifth seat from the right." And you can't be thinking about where you're going on that date, because the minute you do, that's when you lose!
Tidus, Final Fantasy X

Morpheus: Were you listening to me, Neo? Or were you looking at the woman in the red dress?
Neo: I was...
Morpheus: Look again!
(The woman in the red dress is now an Agent.)

The roof was open, the music was high.
This girl's hand was slowly moving up my thigh.
She had opened up three buttons on her shirt so far.
I guess that's why I didn't notice that police car.
DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince, "Parents Just Don't Understand"

Power Girl slipped out from under his grasp like a greased weasel.
She had been gauging the pressure of his grip with great accuracy. Her talk to Badra had a specific effect on Mala, she could tell by a certain feeling against her back. And when a man starts to think down there, she told herself, he loses a little ability to think up elsewhere.

The Doctor: Rory? Did you drop the couplings?
Rory: Sorry.
The Doctor: How could you do that? I told you not to drop them! I specifically mentioned, no dropping them!
Amy: It was my fault.
The Doctor: Of course it wasn't your fault.
Rory: It kinda was her fault.
The Doctor: How could it be your fault?
Amy: Because it was my skirt, and my husband, and your glass floor.
The Doctor: [disgusted] Oh, Rory!
Rory: [very obviously still staring up Amy's skirt] Sorry.

"So you came up on to the deck to sketch pictures of young men working without their shirts on. You expect this to help your concentration?"
Jasnah, Words of Radiance