Quotes: Brainless Beauty

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    Anime and Manga 

It seems like the rumor that bust size and math test scores are inversely proportional is true.

    Film — Live-Action 

Hobson: Thrilling to meet you, "Gloria."
Prostitute: Hi.
Hobson: Yes, you obviously have a wonderful economy with words, Gloria. I look forward to your next syllable with great eagerness.
Arthur (1981)

    Literature 

She was a dull person, but a sensational invitation to make babies.

Some of the most beautiful bodies are seldom endowed with the keenest of minds.
Huma D'Este, The Ribbajack

Madame Zeroni: Myra's head is as empty as a flowerpot.
Elya Yelnats: But she's beautiful.
Madame Zeroni: So is a flowerpot.
Holes

Stiffy's map, as a rule, tends to be rather grave and dreamy, giving the impression that she is thinking deep, beautiful thoughts. Quite misleading, of course. I don't suppose she would recognize a deep, beautiful thought if you handed it to her on a skewer with tartare sauce.
Bertie Wooster, The Code of the Woosters

Whenever an occasion arose in which she needed an opinion on something in the wider world, she borrowed her husband's. If this had been all there was to her, she wouldn't have bothered anyone, but as is so often the case with such women, she suffered from an incurable case of of pretentiousness. Lacking any internalized values of her own, such people can arrive at a standpoint only by adopting other people's standards or views. The only principle that governs their minds is the question "How do I look?"
Haruki Murakami, The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle

    Live-action TV 

Liz: He is a doctor who doesn't know the Heimlich maneuver! He can't play tennis, he can't cook, he's as bad at sex as I am, but he has no idea!
Jack: That is the danger of being super-handsome. When you're in the bubble, nobody ever tells you the truth. For years, I thought I spoke excellent French. (gibberish)
30 Rock

Sidas: Do you know what the difference between her IQ and mine is? 91 points. In relation, she's closer to a gibbon than she is to me. Having sex with her would be an act of bestiality.
Foreman: I assume you didn't marry her for her skill in applied physics.
Sidas: I just wish she could spell it.
House, "Ignorance is Bliss"

    Music 

Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb girl
Dump with the cap of a bee
Stupid as can be, right down, dump, the girl is
Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb girl
The girl is
dumb
Run-D.M.C., "Dumb Girl"

    Theatre 

Harold: Well, I suppose he has an interesting face and body, but it turns me right off because he can't talk intelligently about art.
Emory: Yeah, ain't it a shame?
Harold: I could never love anyone like that.
Emory: Never. Who could?
Harold: I could and you could, that's who could.

    Webcomics 

Ben, you're super cute, but I also think you might be the dumbest man alive.
Cleo, Bobwhite (source strip)

    Web Original 

A great singer. But on her cd, she keeps reminding us that she is a virgo. I don't care what your sign is, Beyonce.

[Watches Amanda attempt to hide from this list by putting on a blond wig backward.]
Drew Magary on Amanda Bynes, "The 25 Least Influential People of 2013"

This is pretty much the reaction my dog would have if she suddenly became sentient.
Jezebel, "Britney Spears' Delusional 'Documentary' is a Hot, Glittery Mess"

Thinking is not for everyone, Megan! You know when you put an extra large load of laundry in the dryer and it canít handle it, so it starts violently shaking during the spin cycle? Thatís what Meganís brain does when she tries to think too hard. Megan, keep the load light, hon.

Democracy was never more threatened than when Reagan was in office, pissing off the Communists and (even worse!) the air traffic controllers while Nancy was busy formulating national policy with astrological charts.

    Web Video 

"Omigod".

You're a professional lyricist, and that's the best you could come up with.

    Western Animation 

Why are the cute ones always tube-heads?
Blackarachnia, Beast Wars

    Real Life 

...men who, considering females rather as women than human creatures, have been more anxious to make them alluring mistresses than affectionate wives and rational mothers; and the understanding of the sex has been so bubbled by this specious homage that the civilized women of the present century, with a few exceptions, are only anxious to inspire love, when they ought to cherish a nobler ambition, and by their abilities and virtues exact respect.
Mary Wollstonecraft, A Vindication of the Rights of Woman (1792)

A gift for selecting fine bodies attached to heads filled with the bright confetti of lunacy.
Gore Vidal, on friend Tennessee Williams' taste in dates

I owe America a global apology.

So Miss USA doesn't know the capital of her home state? To be fair she probably doesn't know the capitals of any of the states.
Sarah Michelle Gellar, tweeted 6.19.14