Film: Missile to the Moon
"Don't think, honey. Just be beautiful."
, unwittingly presenting the Aesop
of this movie and the original.
The 1959 remake of Cat-Women of the Moon
. Somehow it managed to be even worse than the B-Movie
original. This remake is available as a Rifftrax
video on demand title.
Missile to the Moon provides examples of:
- Alien Among Us: Dirk Green was sent to Earth to evaluate its suitability as a new home. His obsession with building the rocket is so he can return and bring his people here (the spaceship having brought him was destroyed).
- Arranged Marriage: Dirk has already been promised to Alpha. This causes problems when Steve pretends to be him.
- Artificial Gravity: 'Gravitational shoes' are mentioned, though strangely not until they're on the Moon.
- Beehive Hairdo: The Moon Girls.
- Being Watched: Gary in the cave.
- Big Electric Switch: Large levers are used to land the rocketship and release the Deadly Gas.
- Blatant Lies
- Blue-Skinned Space Babes: The Moon women. Why Dirk had human-normal coloration is never explained.
- California Doubling: That 'ole sci-fi standby, Bronson Canyon, passes for the Moon. Including bushes.
Rifftrax: Real nice day on the Moon! Must be a high pressure system.
- Cat Fight: June vs. Alpha.
- Continuous Decompression: Rather than release the Deadly Gas that will kill the Earthman she's fallen for, Zema throws a grenade that blows out the window of the throne room, killing everyone as there are no doors to seal off each section.
- Dramatic Slip: Lon trips on the sand, as it's the only way the slow-moving rock creatures could possibly get close enough to menace anyone.
Rifftrax: "I think you'd have a better chance of being overtaken by an actual rock."
- Dull Surprise: All the actors at one time or another, but Cathy Downs' (June) tone of voice never matches whatever dramatic events are happening on screen. No wonder her screams are all dubbed.
- Evil Army: The military seeks to take over Dirk's research, as missile work is their sole prerogative. Apparently they're unaware of the existence of the military-industrial complex.
- Extreme Graphical Representation
"The signals from the missile are flashing!"
- Fanservice Extras: 'International Beauty Contest Winners' — ranging from Miss Florida to Miss Yugoslavia — play the Moon Girls.
- Giant Spider: The Dark Creature.
- Good Guns, Bad Guns: Mad Scientist Dirk removes a German Luger from the desk, while Steve takes out a good 'ole American Colt automatic.
- Got Volunteered: Dirk ropes in escaped convicts Lon and Gary as a scratch crew to help him go to the Moon. Good thing piloting the ship only consists of pulling big levers at his command!
- Green-Eyed Monster: Their lives depend on the Moon people thinking Steve is Dirk, so naturally June blurts out the truth when she sees Alpha smooching Steve.
- He's Dead, Jim: Dirk.
- Hoist by His Own Petard: Alpha somehow manages to impale herself on her own knife.
- Hollywood Torches: Our first sign of civilisation on the Moon. Why they'd use such things on a world rapidly running out of oxygen is not mentioned.
- Immune to Bullets: The rock creatures.
- I Resemble That Remark
Gary: "The papers, what would they know? They said I stole three cars."
Gary: "It was five cars!"
- Mad Scientist: Dirk Green acts like one, though it turns out he's got a reason to be obsessed with going to the Moon.
- Mind Control: This time a man is on the receiving end, with Steve Dayton being hypnotised by the evil Alpha.
- Ominous Walk: The rock creatures. One wonders how they avoid starving to death.
June: "Oh Steve, we've got to stop it!"
Rifftrax: "If not we'll be forced to walk away slowly without the slightest trace of urgency, laughing the whole time!"
- The Power of the Sun: Stepping into the direct light of the sun is enough to make Gary turn into a burning dummy, and then a plastic skeleton.
- Rape as Drama: Gary makes an attempt to grope June, leading to Good Old Fisticuffs with Dirk. He is Easily Forgiven once the obligatory meteor shower flies at them.
- Space Suits Are SCUBA Gear: The spacesuits are air force jumpsuits, helmets and oxygen cylinders.
- The Starscream: Whichever woman has the strongest mind power becomes the Lido. When Alpha fails a contest of minds, she thinks "Stuff it" and stabs the current Lido In the Back.
- Swiss Cheese Security: The control circuits for the electric fence are outside the fence, protected by a small easily-picked padlock. The rocket is right next to the fence, too.
- Victoria's Secret Compartment: Alpha removes a dagger from her ample cleavage.
- Worthless Yellow Rocks: This time it's diamonds that are common, and it's no surprise that Gary suffers Death by Materialism by refusing to drop the two bags of uncut diamonds that are slowing him down.