Quotes: "Blind Idiot" Translation

Metal Gear (NES version)

"THIS is what I call frue destruction!"

Of course, in the sucking ass tradition, the person doing the transcribing is either dyslexic or doesn't speak English. "Party on Wayne! Oh... OH! I no feel so great now Mista Wayne! I think I am going to schwing! kill all american devils"

"Man, these translations suck. Couldn't they just get anyone to proofread this shitload of fuck?"
The Angry Video Game Nerd, in response to the above quote on his review on the NES version of Metal Gear

Bernardo: Who?
Francisco: Nay, answer me: stand, him being deployed.
Bernardo: Rongukinguraibu!
Francisco: Bernardo?
Bernardo: He.
Francisco: Your time is wise.
Bernardo: 'Currently, San Francisco, 12 strikeouts TIS is sleeping.
Francisco: For this relief much thanks: 'TIS is cold, I'm still suffering.
Bernardo: How quiet guard?
Francisco: I am looking for the excitement of the mouse.
Bernardo: Well, good night. Case, Marcellus and Horatio in a hurry, people do my bidding.
Francisco: I love to hear them. Hosutando! Who?
Enter Horatio and Marcellus
Horatio: Friends on this planet.
Marcellus: Liegeman, some Danish.
Francisco: Good night's release.
Marcellus: Library farewell honest soldier: Who is your fire you do?
Francisco: Bernardo has my site. Good night's release.
Hamlet I.i, courtesy of http://translationparty.com

Barn ARD. Who' Then S?
Cisco franc. In the answer of the opposition you, what I elasticity. The series are opened in them, you.
Barn ARD. The long king saw himself!
Cisco franc. Barn ARD?
Barn ARD. Barn ARD.
Cisco franc. The time comes carefullest more.
Barn ARD. ' Tis now has sounded to 12. The franc of Cisco of the victories executes thee for the time of delay.
Cisco franc. Restocking is considering this much recognition. ' In the intensive and pale cold trunks in the morning of Tis and in the memory.
Barn ARD. He has the force of motivatings of monitoração?
Cisco franc. Those are not beginning the rate of the vagueamento.
Barn ARD. This one, is cripes integrated.
In Horatio one solves and marukerusu
Cisco franc. The mine I am enquis, of that fodder to the face the past ones. Criterion, I have! Somebody here?
Horatio. This friend of the merchandise of the real estate properties.
— Same scene, from http://tashian.com/multibabel.

— Vietnamese bootleg of Pokemon Crystal (For the record, it's "Eggie put the Potion in the Item Pocket". Yeah.)

Even electronic brain pancake crystal elderly.

How can you use my intestines as a gift?
The Beheaded 1000

"I know those words, but that sign makes no sense"
Lisa Simpson, "Bart vs. Australia"

Aeris: This guy are sick.

Elena: It really doesn't matter! But you really got guts doin' my boss (Tseng) in like that!"
Final Fantasy VII (This mistranslation, corrected in the PC release, caused many to incorrectly believe that Tseng was dead.)

And don't you love the intentional typos? "Conglaturation"? Is that the new hip way to say it? Is that what the kids are doing now?

This is what happens when you use the online translator.
Chris McLane, Total Drama: Pakhitew Island, after failing to correctly translate the teams' names