Bragging rights the spoils in a war of tiny men
When the dust begins to settle, the fight begins again
Pettiness a virtue, the badge of piss and pride
What you have created, it's a thrash crime
Harvesting rewards from the hours used in spite
Tearing out the throat of a fool because it's right
Obfuscate the meaning and re-educate the swine
Opinion is invalid, it's a thrash crime
— "Act of War"
Over there in Norway, the churches all burn down
Let's go dress in goth clothes and get painted like a clown
Awesome leather armbands with spikes like two feet long
Hair is parted down the middle, frowning like a frog
In league with the devil, talking Satan, skulls and hell
Making mommy mad, cause that's original
If you hate good music, then it can't hurt to go
Image-conscious assholes, black metal fashion show
—"Black Metal Sucks"
Lich King is a Thrash Metal
band from Massachusetts that was founded in 2004 by vocalist Tom Martin (who may have also played some or all of the instruments for the first two albums; the real identities of the musicians on those albums are not given). Lich King are heavily influenced by Exodus, Vio-Lence, and Slayer
and are known for their humorous lyrics, Heavy Meta
, and their very brash image and promotional techniques. The band finally found its feet in 2009-2010 with its third LP World Gone Dead
, which featured a full band lineup and massively improved production.
- Tom Martin - Vocals
- Brian Westbrook - Drums
- Rob Pellegri - Lead guitar
- Joe Nickerson - Rhythm guitar
- Nick Timney - Bass
- Kevin Taylor - Guitars
- Erick Herrera - Guitars
Lich King show examples of:
- Album Title Drop: All albums except Necromantic Maelstrom.
- Berserk Button: Don't mention to the band that the name is a reference to Dungeons & Dragons.
- Big Rock Ending: Lich King III, We Came To Conquer.
- Boastful Thrash: Too many of their songs to list, most notably "Black Metal Sucks"
- Bragging Theme Tune: The eponymous "Lich King" songs, one on each album.
- Chiptune: Super Retro Thrash is a compilation of various Lich King songs transposed to NES chiptunes.
- Cover Version: "Lesson in Violence", "Bodies on Bodies", "Aggressive Perfector", 'Agents of Steel'
- Disproportionate Retribution: "Grindwheel" is about crushing a burglar to death under a millstone.
- Drum Roll Please: "All Hail".
- Epic Instrumental Opener: The simply named "Intro" from World Gone Dead
- Parodied with "Cheesy Metal Intro" from Toxic Zombie Onslaught.
- If you exclude the Crowd Chant, then "All Hail" from Born Of the Bomb as well.
- Epic Rocking: Agnosticism and Lich King IV.
- Flame Bait: "Black Metal Sucks". The band wouldn't have it any other way.
- Heavy Meta: And how!
- Heavy Mithril: "A Storm of Swords", based on A Song of Ice and Fire
- Hey, It's That Voice!: Patrick Lind of Morbid Saint fame appears on Lich King IV, doing trade off vocals with Martin.
- Homage: "Axe Cop". And with gusto.
- The Horde: World Gone Dead, Toxic Zombie Onslaught and Necromantic Maelstrom album art, featuring zombies!
- Iconic Song Request: A ton.
- Idiosyncratic Album Theming: For the cover art (and the self-titled songs), it's usually the The Lich King doing something involving a horde of fiends, or certain destruction.
- Kneel Before Zod: Lich King III.
- Mascot: The Lich King, featured prominently on the band's album covers.
- Metal Head: They are the self-proclaimed "Greatest Thrash Metal Band In The Universe".
- Metal Scream: Classic Type 4. Can be a Type 1 sometimes.
- Mohs Scale of Rock and Metal Hardness: Generally an 8, like most Thrash. Can go as low as 7 (Agnosticism, Grindwheel), or as high as 9 (Toxic Zombie Onslaught).
- Nice Guy: Behaver.
- One of Us: Tom Martin has written songs about RoboCop, A Song of Ice and Fire, Predator, and Axe Cop, and Joe Nickerson wears a Thundercats T-shirt in the World Gone Dead band photo.
- Parody: CROSSOVER SONGS ARE TOO! DAMN! SHORT!!!
- Promoted Fanboy: Timney.
- Punctuated! For! Emphasis!: From "Waste":
HUMAN HISTORY DIDN'T NEED YOU! YOU AREN'T WANTED! AND! ARE! DISMIIIIIIIIIIIIISSED!
- Refuge in Audacity: Say what you want about their sense of humor, they have huge brass ones.
- Religion Rant Song: Agnosticism, Type 2. Surprisingly subverted as it makes no distinction as to whether science/religion is wrong, just that the end result is the same.
- Serious Business: Lich King loves to make light of everyone's Serious Business.
- Sequel Song: So far, anything after Lich King II
- Lich King III and IV seem to be a bit more refined, as they tie into each other.
- Shout-Out: "We Came To Conquer"
Hey, Gama Bomb
You didn't write this riff
so hey, Warbringer
Eat our Lich King dicks
We just put you to shame...
...The Waste was a starter,
But we're the main course
Maybe other bands play
and maybe Manowar kills...
- Stuff Blowing Up: Born Of The Bomb album cover.
- Take That: Black Metal Sucks, played for laughs in We Came To Conquer.
- Take That, Audience!: Fan Massacre, a song about how much the band hates their fans and how they will kill them, in typical sarcastic fashion. To wit:
"Our mascot himself is the hitman we call for the job
We gave him your addresses,
sent him to carve up you slobs
Your endless sycophantism we cannot forgive
You haven't bought enough merch
to allow you to live"
- Terrible Artist: Vocalist Tom Martin; averted! He's also a comic artist when not with Lich King.
- Who do you think created the album art for the third and fourth Lich King album? note
- AND was responsible for the creation of the Bonded By Blood logo?
- This Is for Emphasis, Bitch!: "Hey, guess what, BITCH, we're back, let's get down to business!"
- This Loser Is You: Waste and Act of War.
- Title Only Chorus: Agnosticism, Toxic Zombie Onslaught.
- We All Die Someday: In The End, Devastation.
- Working Class Hero: Inverted with Wage Slave; in that everyone is only spending money, in debt, and unable to do a thing.
- You Cannot Grasp the True Form: What was that thing The King is looking at on the fourth album cover?
- Judging by the lyrics, it's possibly another lich created by nuclear war.