While the
Wondrous Ladies Room may be a place for chatting, primping, and various
Women's Mysteries, the men's restroom is a place dedicated to speed and efficiency. When using the restroom, men must observe certain unspoken guidelines that dictate their behavior therein and speed up the process of using the lavatory. Except in extenuating circumstances, such as overcrowding, any breach of these guidelines is discouraged and can lead to some awkward and embarrassing situations.
- Keep all interaction to a bare minimum. Do not make eye contact with other men, as this may be interpreted as an unwelcome invitation. Also, never let your gaze wander to any body part of another occupant, whether or not he is of any genuine interest to you.
- When selecting a urinal, stay as far away from other men as possible, so as to better comply with the previous rule. If the only available urinals are adjacent to ones currently in use, use a stall.
- Avoid making unnecessary noises. While grunting is never appropriate, the occasional cough is usually all right, though there is always the chance that this could be misinterpreted, as per rule number 1.
- And finally, the one rule that must never, ever, be broken: Never say a single word while within the restroom. Not only is it an unnecessary noise, but it grates against the philosophy of speed and efficiency that governs Male Restroom Etiquette. It slows down the transaction process and makes using the restroom awkward and unpleasant for other occupants.
Whenever Male Restroom Etiquette is brought up in media, it is usually
Played for Laughs as we watch some poor soul try to use the restroom while another man shows complete disregard for the above rules. And while many men can attest that these rules are indeed
Truth in Television, most know that a breach of these rules is not so awkward as some make it out to be. Contrast
The Can Kicked Him, the ultimate breach of etiquette.
Examples:
