Just Here for the Free Snacks

"Don't be silly! I was never here for the teeth, I was here for the free food. Cheers!"

— Flip, declining to buy the Stars Byte collection, Pink Panther: Hokus Pokus Pink

Someone has announced a special event happening near you. When you arrive there, lots of other people have shown up too to participate. But wait, why are there so many heading towards the assortment of snacks put out? Unless that was the whole purpose of some of these people showing up?

In any type of social gathering, whether a contest or a presentation most people are there to participate. But there's also a small percentage of the group who care more about the free snacks than the actual program. They care more about filling their stomachs than their minds and/or lives. A common gag, sometimes leads to Comically Missing the Point.

Can be seen as a form of Not in This for Your Revolution. See also I Was Told There Would Be Cake, Only in It for the Money, Food as Bribe. Compare The Snack Is More Interesting, Signed Up for the Dental (when the perk of joining isn't merely food), Working for a Body Upgrade (same) and Just Here for Godzilla (where the audience watches a work of fiction just for a certain character or element in it).

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Examples:

Anime & Manga

• In Dragon Ball, Beerus spared Earth and continually hangs around on it because he finds the local cuisine to be Impossibly Delicious Food compared to everything else in Universe 7.
• JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Golden Wind: Secco, a character who acts like a pet, only joined Cioccolata for the treats, wealth, and participation in the slaughter.

Comic Books

• In Runaways, Chamber claims that he only joined Excelsior, the support group for former teen superheroes, because the flyer said that there would be free pizza. The fact that Chamber doesn't actually have a mouth with which to consume pizza probably should be the first clue that he's actually Geoffrey Wilder in disguise.
• A dark version appears in The Desert Peach: when the 469th Halftrack needs a Nazi Party member to speak with a visiting political officer, the only one in the entire unit turns out to be Udo, who joined up at the very beginning. He had no idea what the speechmaker at the rally was talking about and also happens to be Jewish: he just knew the man on the stage was buying the beer.

Comic Strips

• Big Nate: At one point, Nate and Teddy join a library book club purely for the snacks being served during it.

Fan Works

• 1973:
  Malcolm: The Slug Club. The Ponce Brigade. A bunch of self-important eejits gathering up and inflating Slug's ego so he can feel a bit of important himself.
  Gideon: Malcolm, you're in the Slug Club.
  Malcolm: I go for the food.
• All Assorted Animorphs AUs: In "What if the Auximorphs joined the team right away?", Jake joins The Sharing because they visit the ward where the Auximorphs live once a week, but acts like he's only there for the free food and college application boost so they won't make him a full member.
• Breaking the Deal: When Spider-Man asks what half the Marvel Universe are doing when providing him with a Big Damn Heroes against Mephisto, Deadpool claims he's there because he was promised "free cookies and a lapdance."
• Can I Keep Him?: After meeting Mirabel, Hiccup and Toothless consider just leaving considering all of the bad experiences they've had when humans discover them, but instead they try stealing the Madrigal's breakfast unguarded. Or so they think, Casita managing to manipulate the furniture to keep it away from them.
• The King Nobody Wanted: Lord Gaunt's daughter claims her father, an Impoverished Patrician, attended every party he could to cadge free food.
• Project Management for Beginners: Harry starts a mixed-House study group. Crabbe and Goyle show up at the first meeting because Dumbledore said there'd be cake.
• Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series:
  • When Yugi's friends use The Power of Friendship to protect him from Pegasus' mind reading powers, Tristan claims that he's just there for the food.
  • And then there's the first "Marik's Evil Council of Doom" video:
    Zombie Boy: Brains! [I came for the free tacos.]
    Marik: By the way, there are no free tacos. That was a lie.
    Zombie Boy: Brains... [Figures...]

Films — Animation

• South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut: When the boys are sending out a recruitment letter for "La Resistance", Cartman insists that they include the phrase "punch and pie" for the meeting because more people will come if they think there will be snacks. Sure enough, two of the boys who show up interrupt to ask about it, but they immediately leave when told there isn't any.

Films — Live-Action

• Ever After: Baroness de Ghent, as resentful enough towards her stepdaughter Danielle, often neglects her second-born daughter Jacqueline, and whenever they go into a social gathering, the Baroness often accuse Jacqueline of "only being there for the food." That statement comes to bite the Baroness at the end when Jaqueline sides with Danielle.
  Baroness de Ghent: Jaqueline, darling, I hate to think that you had anything to do with this.
  Jaqueline: Of course not, Mother. I'm only here for the food.
• Taegukgi: Jin-tae's fiance, Young-shin, goes to communist party meetings for the free food they were handing out. South Korean militias eventually start rounding up and executing suspected communists, which includes anyone that attended those meetings.
• One scene in Dear White People has the Black Students League pausing to recognize their one Chinese-Black member, who replies to their stares with "You guys have better snacks."
• In The Muppet Christmas Carol, the scene from the novel listed below is adapted hilariously, and there's an additional line from Rizzo the Rat saying this earlier in the movie.
  Gonzo: I am here to tell the story...
  Rizzo: And I am here for the food.

Literature

• From A Christmas Carol. When traveling into the possible future, Scrooge sees some men from the Stock Exchange taking about a certain person who died and debating on whether to go to his funeral or not. Sprouting these lines:
  "It's likely to be a very cheap funeral," said the same speaker; "for upon my life I don't know of anybody to go to it. Suppose we make up a party and volunteer?"
  "I don't mind going if a lunch is provided," observed the gentleman with the excrescence on his nose. "But I must be fed, if I make one."
• In Dwayne Johnson's autobiography "The Rock Says...", he describes how as a struggling semi-professional football player, he would attend meetings whether he was supposed to or not because there was always a sub sandwich spread.
• In Little Men, the girls want to have a "ball" (tea party and dance) and invite a few of the boys, but they aren't enthusiastic. They're around ten years old, and the boys don't feel like dressing up like Little Men and engaging in stiff conversation and dancing. It's only the promise of free food that brings them out:
  "They have been cooking lots of goodies, I smelt 'em. Let's go," said Tommy.
  "We needn't stay after the feast, you know," added Demi.
  "I never went to a ball. What do you have to do?" asked Nat.
  "Oh, we just play be men, and sit round stiff and stupid like grown-up folks, and dance to please the girls. Then we eat up everything, and come away as soon as we can."
  "I think I could do that," said Nat, after considering Tommy's description for a minute.
• In Q & A, when he used to be a Street Urchin, Ram Mohammad Thomas used to go to marriages to get food until he got caught in a violent brawl between the two families.
• Robert A. Heinlein's Sixth Column: After the PanAsians invade and conquer the U.S., most of the surviving Americans are reduced to poverty. When the priests of the god Mota begin holding services, the Americans who attend are there for the free food that's given out after the services are over.
• In the young adult novel What You Hide by Natalie Richards, homeless teenager Mallory always attends the free movie screenings at the local library because of the free pizza that is served at them.
• Inverted in the The Worst-case Scenario Survival Handbook: Work (part of a series of Faux To Guides on unrealistically dangerous situations), which suggests bringing snacks to a meeting you're not meant to be at (but want to be) — nobody will question your presence if you bring food.
• In The Year of the Rat, when Mayor Sharak hosts a ball to choose his second wife, many guests come there mostly for the feast and dances, since the second wife isn't chosen as carefully as the first one and the entrance is free for all girls under twenty and at least moderately well-born.
• This is what brings the Herdman kids to church in The Best Christmas Pageant Ever.
• In Feet of Clay, when Captain Carrot reminds Corporal Nobbs that they attended a first aid course at the YMPA, Nobby replies that he only went because Carrot told him you got a cup of tea and a biscuit.

Live-Action TV

• Brooklyn Nine-Nine: The only reason Hitchcock and Scully attend the police union meetings is because of the party subs served there.
• Community: In "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas", Pierce says the only reason he is attending Abed's intervention was because of the free cookies.
• Crisis on Earth-X: When the various heroes of the Arrowverse assemble for Barry and Iris' wedding, it's all out of genuine love and friendship... except for Heat Wave, who's only there for the open bar and free food.
• Good Luck Charlie: In the episode "Charlie Is 1", Gabe's only reason for attending Charlie's first birthday party is the cake.
  Gabe: I'm just here for the cake.
• The IT Crowd: Kicking off the second episode, Denholm succeeds in convincing his employees to go to a presentation about stress by clarifying that there will be free food.
• Legion: Jokingly invoked by David Haller in "Chapter 26" while pretending to be a old friend of Charles Xavier, with David's false persona being more interested in a free breakfast than socializing.
  Charles: And when he heard I was visiting—
  David: What can I say? I love a free meal.
• On the Murder, She Wrote episode "Something Borrowed, Someone Blue", a guest who claims to be a distant relative is really a gatecrasher who went to the wedding for the food.
• In the Parks and Recreation episode "Kaboom": Andy admits to doing various volunteer activities for the free snacks.
• Person of Interest has Reese bring Shaw along while on a stakeout after their POI is a VIP in a public event. Reese tells Finch that Shaw is eating a lot of food, implying that she joined in because the event had a buffet.
• Psych: Shawn discovers that his dad, a psychologist, and Gus are Staging an Intervention after he claimed the Victim of the Week was killed by a T-Rex. He's taken aback that his best friend agreed to take part in the confrontation, but Gus says he's only there for the cupcakes.

Sports

• In his acceptance speech for the 1986 Brownlow Medal (Australian Rules Football's highest individual honor), Robert Dipierdomenico quipped, "I gave myself no chance and only came along for the food".

Stand-up Comedy

• Brian Regan recalls that he played Little League as a kid just because the players got Sno-Cones after the game.

Video Games

• Invoked in Persona 5 Royal, where the school counselor Dr. Maruki awkwardly tries to get students to come to his counseling sessions by mentioning that there will be snacks. No one is shown to attend just because of the snacks, but a snack item is added to the player's inventory every time they go.
• Pink Panther: Hokus Pokus Pink: Near the end of the game, when the guests leave the Periowinkle mansion one by one without bidding on the Stars Byte collection, Flip admits that he was never interested in the collection from the start. He just came for the free food.
• In Tales from the Borderlands, Yvette apparently mostly hangs around with Rhys and Vaughn to mooch free meals off them in exchange for favors. True to the Borderlands series, she's introduced with a title card, and her caption is 'Lunch Leech.'
• Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII: One quest involves Lightning going to dinner with a man in her Midnight Mauve outfit in order to save his soul. If the player goes through with it, Lightning insists that she's only agreeing to it because it's the best restaurant in Yusnaan.
  Lightning: How many times do I have to tell you? I'm just here for the steak.
• In Mass Effect 2, one Funny Background Event you can witness is a human, a turian, and a salarian in a nightclub celebrating the salarian's "bachelor party" (salarians don't actually have marriage traditions, but the human insisted). At one point in their dialogue, the turian is asked why he came along; he responds, "I'm just here for the drinks."
• Twisted Wonderland: Being a massive Big Eater, Grim's highest priority for attending any social function and event is this.

Visual Novels

• Doki Doki Literature Club!: The protagonist initially only agrees to stop by the Literature Club for one of the promised cupcakes.
• In one event in Monster Prom's Second Term DLC, Polly excitedly claims that she loves going to AA meetings... because they have free cookies.
• Wicked Lawless Love: Cecelia used to go to balls, but mostly just for the music.

Webcomics

• Dean & Nala + Vinny: Vinny is addicted to the fish tank. Nala and the housepets hold an intervention for him. She and Jacko make it clear that they care for him and are there for him. An apathetic Sammy Chonkers is all, "I'm here for the refreshments."
• In an early arc of Housepets! Grape (a cat) shows up at a "Good Old Dogs club" meeting because she likes the taste of dog biscuits.
• The Order of the Stick: When an inn is threatened by assassins, Quirky Bard Elan uses his Magic Music to lure the patrons outside and away from danger, Pied Piper-style. Outside, he realizes that he was only followed by one man, who asks about the free pudding Elan mentioned.

Web Animation

• RWBY: During the Volume 4 charity gala to raise funds for the Kingdom of Vale, Henry Marigold's attempt to hit on Weiss fails when he admits that he has no idea what the charity event is for. Despite standing right next to a sign stating the fundraiser's purpose, he blithely informs her that he's just there "for the food and drinks, and the extraordinary company". He thinks he's charming Weiss, so is utterly baffled when her response is to kick him out of the building.

Web Original

• Stock Phrase parody and Internet Meme: "Come to the dark side. We have cookies."

Western Animation

• The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius: In "Maximum High", Sheen brings the repair man from his apartment in place of his dad to the Parent-Child Games. The repair man immediately asks where the free food is and spends the rest of the episode doing nothing but eating a burger.
• In the Beavis And Butthead episode "Figure Drawing", the duo are drawn into a community education center by free nachos, but when they change a sign from 'Figure Drawing Class' to 'U Draw Ass' and find out about a nude model, they are instantly enthralled by the chance to finally score, only to be disappointed when a second model, this one male, appears in the class.
• Being Ian: In "Is There An Ian In The House?", Kyle and Korey sneak into a motivational speaker's group because they're offering free coffee and doughnuts which they get after annoying the speaker a lot.
• Bob's Burgers:
  • In "Mo' Mommy Mo' Problems", Linda wants to spend her Mother's Day going to open houses on Kingshead Island just for the buffet spreads. It backfires when she gets too involved personally with one realtor.
  • In "Brunchsquatch", Linda starts a Sunday brunch at the restaurant, offering "bottomless mimosas". Unfortunately, since she forgot to specify a one-meal-per-customer minimum, the restaurant gets full of "brunch skunks" who sit around ordering mimosas. And because Linda didn't water down the mimosas, the brunch skunks start to get drunk and rowdy.
• In Brandy & Mr. Whiskers, Brandy tries to convince a bunch of animals to abandon their home at a tree in exchange for peanuts (literally, their brain is small), a manatee comes and she asks how he benefits from the tree, he responds that he only wants peanuts.
• The DuckTales (2017) episode "The Golden Lagoon of White Agony Plains!" opens with Scrooge McDuck, Huey, Dewey and Louie attending the opening of a new wing in the museum dedicated to Glomgold, but mostly with the intent to snag banquet snacks for later use.
• In the Fancy Nancy episode "School de Fancy", Nancy gets Rhonda, Wanda, and Lionel to attend her charm school with the promise of popcorn. When they show up, Lionel asks where the popcorn is, and Bree serves it to him with an annoyed look on her face.
• Gravity Falls: In "Headhunters," Stan holds a citywide unveiling of his wax figure. When he asks for crowd questions, a reporter asks if the free pizza he promised in the flyer was real. Stan admits it wasn't, and the entire crowd leaves.
• The Great North:
  • In Season 2 "Dances With Wolfs Adventure", Moon attends a children of divorce support group solely for the banana splits they serve; he's actually taken Beef and Kathleen's divorce very well.
  • In Season 2 "Dead Moon Walking Adventure", While Beef loves the Log Museum, the other Tobins, and now Honeybee, only likes the museum for their free chocolate-covered pretzel logs.
• Molly of Denali; In "Turn On the Northern Lights," Trini hosts a sleepover at her house so she and the others can see the northern lights. Tooey only goes because of the hot chocolate.
• In the Looney Tunes short One Froggy Evening, the man who finds the frog tries to get people to show up to the frog's performance. He writes "Free Admission" and later "Free Beer." The latter gets tons of people to come pouring in.
• Pickle and Peanut: in "America's Sweetboy", Peanut enters Pickle into the America's Sweetboy pageant and finds McSweats participating too, but he tells the duo he's only there for the free taffy and freely admits he has no chance at winning.
• In Robot Chicken, the characters from Punch-Out!! attend Doc Louis' funeral. While some of them gave a eulogy out of respect, Mike Tyson states that he didn't know who Doc was, and only showed up to steal food from the catering table, and he challenged anyone to try and stop him.
• South Park: Part of the reason why Kenny has immortality is because of the Cult of Cthulhu meetings offering free beer, which is the only reason his parents even attended them.
• SpongeBob SquarePants: In "Band Geeks", Mr. Krabs joined Squidward's band audition with the promise of free refreshments.
  Mr Krabs: When do we get the free food?
• In Sally Bollywood, one episode had Sally and Doowee inviting some kids from their school over for an invention demonstration. When the device is sabotaged and the two begin investigating, one of their schoolmates, Darshie, admits she only came over because she likes the cooking of Sally's nanny, Mrs. Apu.
• Work It Out Wombats!: In "Campout Confusion," Malik only agreed to go camping because of marshmallows. When it turns out that there's no marshmallows, Malik isn't too happy at the prospect of having to roast zucchinis.

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