Even Beggars Won't Choose It
I wandered all around the town until I chanced to meet
A hobo who was lookin' for a handout on the street
He said he'd take most any old thing, he was a desperate man
But when I showed him the [BOOM BA-BOOM], he turned around and ran!
It's easy to be picky and choosy about the brand, make, prettiness, country of origin and such of something you want if you already have
access to a million of it. If you don't
, on the other hand, you're more likely to be desperate for it - especially if "it" is an essential need in your situation - and be willing to take whatever you can get. To paraphrase the old saying, beggars are hardly ever choosers.
Unless they're given this
option. In which case, the beggars scream in terror, run the other way, and make it absolutely clear that the quality of this object is so absolutely horrible that even people who desperately need it would reject it
. Can be played for either laughs
, depending on the context.
Compare Even Evil Has Standards
, Even Nerds Have Standards
, Everyone Has Standards
, Too Spicy for Yog Sothoth
. Contrast Even the Rats Won't Touch It
, which is specifically about substandard food.
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Films — Live Action
- In The Sound of Music, Captain Von Trapp tells Maria she must put on a better dress than the one she has on before meeting his children as their new governess. Maria states she doesn't have one, as she is a nun and when nuns enter the convent, their worldly clothes are given to the poor. The Captain then asks why she still has the one she's wearing now. Maria replies: "The poor didn't want this one."
- Chungking Express: When Agent 223, who has been collecting pineapple cans with a May 1 peremption date in memory of his girlfriend dumping him, tries to give one to a beggar on the night of April 30, the beggar lobs it back at him. "It's past its sell-by date! you keep it!"
- Inverted in Material Girls. The beggars would choose the beautiful Dolce and Gabbana clothes Hilary Duff's character donates to charity, but not many homeless people are a size 0.
- In The Muppet Christmas Carol, during The Villain Sucks Song "There Goes Mr. Humbug", when the vegetables on a market cart sing the line, "If he became a flavor you can bet that he'd be sour", the grocer quips, "Even the vegetables don't like him!"
Live Action TV
- In The Guild a homeless person tries Vork's "found object stew" and rejects it in disgust.
- In an episode of "SpongeBob SquarePants" a guy who hasn't eaten for days crawls into the Krusty Krab begging for food, but when he was offered some he rejects it because the Krusty Krab lacks "pizazz." He then crawls away still begging for food... service... atmosphere!
- The Garfield Show: In one episode, Garfield tried to get rid of an accordion of Jon's but his effort to give it away only result in it getting quickly returned. Heck even trying to ditch it in the lake prompts a mer-man to swim up and throw it back.
- The Simpsons
- In one episode, this trope doubled as a Take That to their old sponsor Butterfinger where Chief Wiggum tried to throw the candy into fire only for it to be thrown back, unharmed. "Even the fire doesn't want them" Wiggum comments. They lost the sponsor because of that.
- Another episode had Homer trying to tip a bellboy with a Grammy, only for the bellboy reject it in disgust. Homer then angrily throws the Grammy off a balcony, but it gets thrown back.
- An episode of Daria features the Fashion Club collecting clothes for the homeless. They invoke this trope, assuming that the homeless will have standards of clothing as high as their own, and reject nearly everything they are offered.
- The Replacements: Riley and her friends were once selling jerky. It was so bad hungry wolves refused to eat it.
- Little costume buddy from Fat Dog Mendoza is initially such a bad salesman he couldn't sell water to a man dying of thirst in a desert. In contrast to Fat Dog selling ice to eskimo's.
- On Family Guy, Meg is desperate for male attention, but even she wouldn't go out with Neil Goldman
- Chobani donated Greek yougurt to the American team for the 2014 Russian Olympics. However the Russians refused to let the refrigerated crates into the country and after a few days of reported talks, Chobani backed down and said that the yougurt would instead be donated to NJ/NY food banks. Problem solved. Well...not quite. On 2/14/14 a new news story made the rounds — Food Banks were refusing the yogurt on the grounds that the homeless are used to sweet yogurt, and were turning their noses up at the Greek variety.
- The implied insult whenever somebody rejects another by saying "I wouldn't date you if you were the last man/woman on Earth".
- Aziz Ansari pointed out that, when given a tip of over $1, the employees of Cold Stone Creamery must all do a short song and dance. "Five people are singing and dancing for a dollar! That's 20 cents a person! If you were to go outside and ask a homeless guy to sing and dance for 20 cents, he'd tell you to go fuck yourself, cause that's degrading!"
- Military rations are called MRE's (Meals Ready to Eat). According to some the letters stand for Meals Rejected by Ethiopians.
- When a dog food manufacturer tried to donate lots of special heavy-protein mix(NOT actually dog food) to Kenya, they angrily refused. Even though she explained it wasn't dog food, it was created for exactly this situation(Kenya had declared the situation a national disaster) AND that she ate it herself; they still refused.