Literature: Real Ultimate Power

Hi, this book is all about ninjas, REAL NINJAS. This book is awesome. My name is Robert and I can't stop thinking about ninjas. These guys are cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet.

Real Ultimate Power: The Official Ninja Book is a very dark and satirical book, by an unknown author going by the pseudonym of Robert Hamburger. It's based off the parody website of the same name.

Robert Hamburger loves ninjas, and considers them the epitome of awesomeness. Because they are so coo...er, totally sweet, he has to share his "knowledge" of the ways of the ninja with everyone, including their prowess at flipping out, killing people, and having sex. This is the intended purpose of this book.

However, in between the various discourses about ninja "facts," snippets of Robert's real life get disclosed, revealing the truth: that Robert is an extremely lonely and maladjusted teenager with a metric ton of personal issues, using his ninja fantasies as a form of escapism.

This book provides examples of: