Its All About Me / Web Original

• There is a song from The Batterys Down in which a Jewish 13-year-old sings about how her bat mitzvah is all about her, so everybody better practically worship her.
• The Call of Warr: Killsin only really cares about himself and his social status; Ghost Lady even points out that he's a terrible communicator, and isn't even listening to her responses to his uninvited monologue.
• Channel Awesome:
  • The Nostalgia Chick pays little attention to any feelings or problems that aren't her own. It's not clear whether she even notices them or just doesn't give a crap.
  • The cast commentary for Suburban Knights has them lampshade how selfish and hate-filled their characters all are to each other, although Doug's own commentary calls attention to how they're more like a fucked up but caring family and how Joe still sat down after his Big "NO!".
  • One of Lupa's main gripes with Charmed is the selfishness of the three leads that increase season by season. This is constantly joked about, especially in regards to Phoebe.
    Lupa: Phoebe, as usual doing something for her favourite person, summons an old and young version of herself to determine whether if she should marry Cole or not.
    Lupa: Presumably in this universe Phoebe was capable of feeling human emotions not centred on herself.
    Lupa: If you don't recall, an empath is someone who channels the feelings of other people. This forces Phoebe to think about others which is pretty much the worst that can happen to her.
    Lupa's Phoebe voice: Love is celebrating two birthdays, right?
    Lupa: There is only one person who can help her in her time of need. Herself.
    Phoebe: I'm living proof of that, and so is she.
    Lupa's Phoebe voice: Thanks, me. You're my best friend.
• The CollegeHumor video "Livin' Mask-Free (Music Video)" is about a country singer who boasts about his refusal to wear a mask during the COVID-19 pandemic and admitting that he doesn't give a crap that his decision will risk more people getting infected by and dying from the virus.
  Singer: Fuck you! I don't care about all the deaths
  Don't care how much I kill with my stupid breath
  'Cause I'm coughin' freedom out from sea to sea
  But I'm not talkin' about your freedom to live
  I mean your freedom to look at all the shits I give
  'Cause the only guy I care about is me.
• Generally the case with demons in Dan and Mab's Furry Adventures, especially when it comes to their treatment of beings.
  • Regina was quickly established to be of this type.
  • Regina's aunt Kria spells it out here, she doesn't think about what others think about her because that means that their opinions matter.
• Melissa from Dawn of a New Age: Oldport Blues only cares about her own wants and own goals. She doesn't care about her boyfriend's plan to revolutionise the world, and would happily ditch him once he helped her get what she wants.
• If normal Vegeta is bad, the Vegeta of Dragon Ball Z Abridged is even worse. Vegeta's ego is taken up to eleven where he can't stand the thought of anyone being stronger than him. Even himself.
  *Vegeta senses Cell for the first time*
  Vegeta: Is that me? Is that me stronger than me!? I'LL FUCKING KILL ME!
• The DVD release of Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog contains a commentary track entitled "Commentary: The Musical". One of the songs in the musical is actually titled "It's All About Me", and consists of small sections sung by each of the extras in the production, explaining how it really is all about them...
• Dear God, Matt from Eddsworld is this trope incarnate. In fact, him being vain to no end was the plot of “Space Face”, where he’s so vain, he’s able to power and overload a spaceship that runs on the stuff!
• The Twilight Sparkle in the universe of Friendship is Witchcraft is a totally self-absorbed geek who can't comprehend the fact that the world doesn't revolve around her. While the series starts off treating this for (comparatively) lighthearted laughs, Twilight's character descends further and further into Black Comedy as it becomes clear just what a morally-bankrupt monster she really is.
• Homestar Runner gives us the now legendary Strong Bad, whose self centered-ness is rivaled only by his self-perceived awesomeness.
• In If the Emperor Had a Text-to-Speech Device, when Emperor starts to talk about the times after his birth, his listeners both point out that he left out anything not pertaining to him. Though he generally keeps it under check (he does have an Imperium to run again, after all). Plus, it's nothing compared to Cato Sicarius' own egotism problems, which makes him completely unable to say "I" without following it with his name, and causes him to consider sacrificing his fellow marines acceptable if it brings him glory, and in fact makes him apt to be Marneus Calgar's successor. And he says all the above to his face. Effectively calling his battle brothers unimportant when it comes to personal glory, and more or less wishing death on Calgar, which he notices immediately.
• In Impure Blood, Caspian is habitually so self-absorbed that he has difficulty noticing that his slaves had agendas and Back Story. Particularly clear when he gets into a snit after Dara's Secret Legacy is revealed, and his only thought is that he should not have bought from Pirates.
• Let Me Explain Studios: Rebecca Parham loves to stroke her ego for laughs, which is reflective of her being a show-off while on stage.
  Rebecca: Well, what did you expect?! You all kept calling me "Queen" on my social media! It was only a matter of time before my ego became overblown, and I tried on the crown for size! You only have yourselves to blame, darlings.
• A Magical Roommate: Alassa. "Do my homework!"
• Enoby Darkness Dementia Raven Way from (My) Immortal: The Web Series, in line with the original version of the character. The trope is subverted as often as it is played straight, however.
• In Nazo Unleashed, this is Nazo's motivation for wanting to destroy the Master Emerald, since he can't stand the thought of being Always Second Best compared to a simple rock.
• A couple of characters from Noob suffer this:
  • Gaea thinks of her guildmates as human shields, gets away with not contributing to the guild's common fund under the pretense of (not really) low finances while the very same guildmates are probably worse off than she is. She actually says the following line while explaining what scouting consists of to The Watson in the webseries : "Your'e supposed to make sure there is no danger for me... I mean us.".
  • Omega Zell, usually the Butt-Monkey, tends to try diverting any kind of positive attention the guild gets to him. He also keeps claiming that he will be soon in the game's best guild despite the fact that he got on its recruitor's bad side, somehow convinced she will forget that he's a Jerkass Straw Misogynist once she gets to see his talent.
• A great amount of the customers featured on Not Always Right fall into this, as they believe "the customer is always right" means "my satisfaction comes first, everybody else here can go to hell". Here's just a few examples of such behavior:
  • A spectacularly insensitive example here. People having heart attacks actually do deserve precedence over someone who just needs a prescription.
  • And over people who just want to get off a plane.
  • And these two golf course examples. Yes, sir, your golf game is more important than someone else's life.
  • The inversion of Ambulance Chaser above is another horrifying example of this.
  • A less grave, but no less applicable, edition here.
  • What's more urgent business: cat food or fire? Admittedly, the customer apparently thought he was making up the fire to get out of helping her.
  • This one. Apparently somebody dying right in front of them isn't an adequate justification for failing to serve someone else their wine right away.
  • Could you give that woman CPR somewhere else? I need my ink.
  • This one, with some hypocritical humor too. Hard not to feel bad for the poor kids.
  • Why do you keep stopping the bus?
  • That sucks that you fainted... but my coffee matters more!
  • This store was just robbed at gunpoint... but all that matters to this customer is getting a latte!
  • A customer dents an employee's car with his car door while picking up drive-thru, and the employee drops his meal in shock. Said customer's reaction? "You owe me 5 pounds for that meal!"
  • "My horse is more important then any accident!" Note the horse wasn't even injured, only spooked by fireworks.
  • This woman believes that her Porsche gives her the right to take two parking spaces at once and be exempt from any penalties that normally incur.
  • Taken to the extreme in this story — the customer decides that because she can't find a parking space anywhere, it's perfectly acceptable to smash her SUV into a storefront and leave it there. When it's towed away later, she seems to think that it gives her the right to smash the store's interior because she thought they took it. To top it all off, when she's arrested for the property damage and shoplifting, that somehow means that customer service was terrible and she's entitled to a gift card! The store probably lost enough fixing everything already — if anything, she should be paying them.
  • Yet another example of a customer putting caffeine dependency over the most basic of common decency.
  • Your thumb's bleeding and another customer's getting sick? Forget that! My flowers are far more important than anyone else's well-being!
  • This woman demands a bookstore employee help her take the books to her car, after refusing bags and being fully aware that the employee is the only one there, needing to attend to other customers as well.
  • Here's another person who thinks they can take up two parking spaces whenever they feel like. Worse yet, they're two handicapped spaces, the man's "handicap" is a broken wrist, and when he's told that he's taking up two spaces, he moves his truck so that it takes up even more of the two spaces. He got a ticket in the end, though.
  • This person calls 911 just because their phone was shut off. Never mind how they called in the first place^note If you're curious, it's federal law in the US. — they fail to understand the true purpose of 911.
  • This man barges into a store after it closed because, as he puts it, it's an emergency. He rushes off after being let in, ignoring the employees who wanted to help him. What does he get? Lube, chips, and wine. To top it all off, he calls the manager impatient for rushing back to help him, like he just can't understand why they might be so.
  • You might lose your job if you lie about what's in a package? If it means I get to save a quarter, that's totally all right!
  • This woman literally says that she doesn't care about other customers. She follows it up by saying that if the other customers are allergic to meat then that's proof that God wants them to die so that they won't inconvenience her. Thankfully, the elderly lady who is getting her meat cut delivers an epic smack-down to her.
  • This mother goes to the emergency room because her daughter had irregular periods and she had "the zits". Clearly, treating them is way more important than people who, say, had been in a car accident.
  • This asshole decides that she wants an audio-book another library-goer already reserved, with a sticker on it and everything. What does she do? Rip the sticker off and try to check it out anyway. She manages to kick up a fuss and get the audio book nearly taken away due to it being "broken", but the original reserver manages to set the whole thing straight and get the audio-book checked out under her name. Despite all this, the sticker-ripper has the gall to ask for it anyway!
  • This bridesmaid who wanted to upstage her sister at her own wedding by wearing a more attractive dress than the other bridesmaids, even thought they're supposed to dress the same.
  • This elderly airline passenger, who wants their bag in reach, regardless of the convenience of others.
  • This customer complains that the Xbox One and PlayStation 4, which hadn't even been announced at the time of the story, aren't available for pre-order. To wit: "Why can’t the f*** company just release the new consoles when I want them?! Stupid a**-holes! They should be doing what I want; I’m the paying customer!"
  • This tourist in Scotland, upon being denied access to a palace because a member of The British Royal Family is staying there that day for a homecoming procession, shouts that they should have known that specific tourist was coming there for that day only and rescheduled the procession for the next day.
  • This tourist doesn't feel well, so she calls the local hospital in England to see if she can arrange an appointment that day. That's fine. The weird part is that she's calling from a cruise ship in the Caribbean, but she still wants to see her doctor today. When told she can't see the doctor today since she's hundreds of miles away out of the country, she demands to know why the doctor can't just fly out to meet her. Yeah, it's not that simple.
  • Why are you taking a few seconds to pull that shard of glass out of your hand? You must help me every waking moment, personal safety be damned!
  • You must set an attendance cap and turn people away if a theme park gets too full! Unless it's me; I paid to come here!
  • There's a missing boy? No, don't look for him, keep servicing us!
  • This parent wants a tourist attraction to bend the laws of physics so that their kids can watch a fireworks show. Apparently, letting said kids stay up a bit later than normal - half the fun of being on vacation for a kid - is out of the question.
  • This person wants a hotel to cancel someone else's reservation so that they can get a room.
  • This patient.
  Receptionist: I’m sorry, sir. I’ll be sure to tell [dentist] that the next time one of his life-long friends unexpectedly dies, that he should be more considerate of his patients.
  Patient: See that you do!
  • This customer doesn't like an employee's new hair color, and so tells her to dye it back to its original color right now.
  • A rather disturbing instance here: a person in a hospital overhears another patient who can't speak above a whisper due to her illness, promptly assumes she's gossiping about him (since his son is there due to swallowing a rock), and as such threatens her with physical violence every time she says anything.
  • "Why don't you remember what coffee I want out of all the coffees of the numerous people you serve each day?". At least the customer gets it when the worker explains the situation to him, and when the worker shows him up the next day by noting what he got yesterday, he leaves behind a sizeable tip.
  • This woman, upon being told that a cobbler who rented space in the store has retired, claims that a different one five minutes away from the store is too far. Also crosses over with They Just Dont Get It, refusing to accept that said cobbler did not actually work for the store.
  • This woman tries to argue that workers should not have holidays like Thanksgiving off to spend with their families, because then "more important" families like the customer's won't be able to buy things.
  • This woman expects a library to call her the night before a book she's rented is due rather than keep track of that herself. She also pointedly says that they can't email her, they have to call her.
  • This man seems to think that a charity shop should give him items for free, both because they get the items donated to them for free, and he is planning to furnish some property he plans to rent out with them; clearly him making a few extra bucks on rent is far more important than any cause a charity could possibly have.
  • This customer brings 20 items into a 12-item-limit express lane, and when admonished and told to use the regular checkout next time, bluntly refuses, saying "express is faster".
  • This customer is annoyed that her cell phone provider didn't tell her that they were giving away free movie tickets for a week...despite the fact that it was advertised on billboards, newspapers, radio stations, her monthly bill, the Internet, and text messages. Unfortunately, the customer didn't get the message because she doesn't go outside much (so no billboards), doesn't read newspapers, doesn't listen to the radio, throws away every ad that comes with her monthly bill, doesn't use the Internet, and ignores all incoming text messages. Exasperated, the customer service associate asks how exactly, were they supposed to tell her about it then. She replies they could have called her about it. Specifically called her, out of the thousands of other customers the company has.
  • This customer is asked to call a company in the morning to discuss something. He ends up calling at 3 PM, justifying it because he just woke up, therefore it's still his morning and as such counts for what the submitter asked.
  • Crossing with Attention Whore; this girl calls in an ambulance to take her to the hospital so she can get more attention and sympathy than her friend (who was rushed to the ER with anaphylactic shock). Note that this is illegal.
  • This old lady complains about a crane being in view of her room's window at a hotel due to a condo being constructed between the hotel and the Space Needle (the story is in Seattle). It is not possibly blocking her view of the Needle given how high up her room is, and yet she insists that the hotel make the crane move anyway. She does not care that this would cost the construction company there millions, either, as when told of all the costs moving the crane for a bit and then moving it back would incur, she simply states that "money is no object".
• Angelika of Our Little Adventure shows traits of this, though she's one of the protagonists...
  • A less amusing example would be Angelo, one of the main villains in the story. This attitude also extends to many of his followers, with Toby being the most blatant example in this miniarc here.
• Seinfeld - "The Twin Towers": Kramer gets together a bunch of other kooks who feel so victimized by minor inconveniences after 9/11 they deserve government compensation for it. This includes Marge (who can't focus on her scrapbooking with all the sirens) and Benny (who's suffering from withdrawal because the TV studios aren't recording new game shows).
• Survival Of The Fittest Mini has Brittany Chesterton.
• Played for Laughs in Jaffa Factory. Simon Lane ends up childishly derailing some projects that Lewis Brindley and Duncan Jones are considering, also going mad with power.

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