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Improbable Weapon User / Webcomics

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  • Buck Godot: Zap Gun for Hire: The Hoffmanite Throwing Fork and the apparently more dangerous Spoon.
  • Dead Winter: Liz and her mop, to an almost epic degree.
  • Final Fantasy VII: The Sevening: During the fight in Rocket Town, Tifa attacks Palmer with a dolphin.
  • Lampshaded in this Girl Genius strip:
    "Zeetha, why are you using a shovel instead of your swords?"
    "Silly girl! You can't dig a hole with swords!"
    • and here during the Bar fight:
      "You just said 'No weapons.'"
      "That wasn't a weapon, that was a chair."
      "Well then, give me a chair!"
      • This one continues on the next page.
        "Tankard! Not a weapon!"
    • Ax-Crazy pirate queen Bangladesh Dupree is tasked with guard duty and told to kill anyone who enters the room unauthorized. She asks if she is allowed to use any weapon she wants; the list includes cheese.
      • That one's not to hard to figure out; you just ram the cheese down the person's throat until they choke.
    • Othar Tryggvassen, "Gentleman Adventurer!" is apparently skilled in Norwegian Sweater Fighting.
    • Agatha hits an opponent with a book. A book entitled 'Using Found Objects as Weapons'.
    • Punch/Adam Clay is able to flick rivets with bullet-level velocity and with quite a degree of marksmanship.
  • In Girly, Winter fights with a giant dildo (yeah), and she occasionally uses her own cat as a weapon. Later, Otra will switch weapons with Winter and wield the giant dildo too.
  • Duv of Goblins favors a pair of small, square razor blades held between the first and second fingers of each hand. They have no handles, and she doesn't even hold them with her thumbs; she just grips the blades between her knuckles. Judging by the damage she does to her enemies with them, they're absurdly sharp, so it makes you wonder how she avoids slicing her own fingers off.
  • Hanna of Hanna Is Not a Boy's Name tries to face supernatural monsters with a cheap hammer and... a magic marker.
  • Grape Jelly of Housepets! is fond of wielding a broom as a weapon, which she first did to ward off a pair of raccoons who had broken into her kitchen. Tame enough, right? But later on in the comic it's revealed that she once did the same thing to beat the crap out of a kidnapper and his pet alligator. And he was an armed kidnapper. And she was still a kitten at the time!. Though she didn't actually do it, Grape has also threatened to suck down the end of a candy cane and shank someone with it.
  • Leftover Soup protagonist Jamie Halligan wields a Halligan bar.
  • Mike of Mike: Bookseller has a tendency to use spatulas as weapons when sufficiently angered.
  • MSF High: Donvovan is forced to be one of these by his sword. Yo-yo, Frying Pan, anything BUT "sword"!
  • Speaking of MS Paint Adventures, Rose Lalonde from the latest adventure Homestuck uses knitting needles as a weapon. Subverted when she alchemizes them with her Tome of Eldritch Lore, which functionally turns them into magic wands. Which, presumably, can still also be used to knit.
    • Dad Egbert's weapons of choise are cakes and SHAVING CREAM.
    • Bro rivals Mr. Egbert up there, by using Lil' Cal in his fight against Dave. He also knows the art of "weaponizing a sylladex", by loading it with heavy items to be expelled as projectile weaponry when needed.
    • The STRIFE SPECIBUS is pretty much this trope, as almost anything can be used as a weapon, from crowbars to fancy santas and a stuffed plush bunny. Strife Specibi include normal stuff like Gunkind and Swordkind, as well as things like Dicekind, Canekind, and Spoonkind. Close examination of the back of John's STRIFE SPECIBUS before he sets it to Hammerkind reveals that ice skates, gloves, aerosoles, and more are all possible weapons. And presumably, all of these items can be broken, changing the specibus along with it. 1/2barbwirekind, anyone?
  • The Order of the Stick:
    • Xykon once killed an entire room full of elite paladins with a bouncy ball. Granted, it had a symbol of insanity on it, causing them to attack each other, but still, a freaking bouncy ball!
    • The prequel Start of Darkness also shows Xykon beating Fyron Pucebuckle to death with an award statuette.
    • Thog demonstrates the kick-in-the-door style.
    • Belkar, armed with a pebble, delivers a Shout-Out to the The Chronicles of Riddick scene in the film folder. It's justified, in that Halflings get massive to hit and damage bonuses from attacking with slingshots.
    • Serini manages to stun Belkar with a sachet of potpourri.
  • In Paranatural, the "tools" used by the activity club to fight monsters include such things as paintbrushes and books.
  • Penny Arcade: Gabe becomes the Cardboard Tube Samurai, wherein he inexplicably uses (to great effect) a cardboard tube as a sword.
  • Problem Sleuth:
  • In Questionable Content when Martin and Steve are attacked by the vigilante Vespavenger they defend themselves with what's on hand, a stop sign and a trash can lid. Lampshades JRPGs when Martin comments,"I am nowhere near effeminate or spiky haired enough for this.
    • The stop sign makes a reappearance, along with a broom, when Martin, Faye, and Dora confront the Vespavenger.
  • Dame Madeline Goodlaw from Rusty and Co. seems to have the ability to turn random farm implements into powerful magical weapons. So far, she's turned a hoe into a Holy Avenger, a shovel into a Vorpal halberd, and a pitchfork into a Trident Of Warning.
  • Schlock of Schlock Mercenary once used a lump of battleship plate against an enemy, fulfilling both this trope and Shield Bash (which is what said plate had been used for until then). Schlock himself is an improbable weapon.
    • Tailor as well, who uses his scissors as terrifyingly effective weapons. As he does have to cut through the local super-resistant clothing, he can snip off a super soldier's hand with little trouble.
  • In Shortpacked! we have Amber who wields a vicious pushy-popcorn-ball-popper-thingy.
  • Ax in Steamgear Inc appears to wield a flamethrower arm cannon as her weapon of choice... until it's revealed to be an arm-mounted fire extinguisher instead.
  • In VG Cats, "It's a rat-flail!"
  • Sir Becket in The Weekly Roll at one point stuffs a sock with silver coins to beat up a werewolf.
  • Zac in What the Fu practices a martial art called "Tie Chi". Guess what his weapon of choice is.
  • The Bike Ninja in Yehuda Moon And The Kick Stand Cyclery throws cassette cogs instead of ninja stars.


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