Funny / The Oblongs

  • "Flush, Flush, Sweet Helga"
    • The scene where Debby is handing out fake invitations to her birthday party, But when she get to Milo, he doesn't even get a fake invitation.
    Milo: Just keep moving Blondie, that tricks not gonna work on me.
    Debbie: Like I care. I didn't even make you a fake one.
    Milo: What? Y'know its really not fair that you make fun of some people and not others!
    Debbie: Okay you big baby, you can have hers. (she says giving Peggy's fake invitation to Milo)
    Peggy: Great, now I don't get fake invited?
    Teacher: Debbie, you really should have brought enough fake invitations for all the unpopular children.
    Debbie: Y'know, you try to do something really mean and cruel. And it just gets thrown back in your face!
    • When Helga is stuck in a sewer pipe, her friends try to comfort her by giving her a couple books on tape to pass the time.
    Peggy: Anyway, we brought you some books on tape. This one is really good: it's Mein Kampf as read by Jimmie J.J. Walker.
    (plays the tape)
    Tape : The Aryan Race is Dy-no-mite!
    • Earlier when the Valley people are complaining about the lack of water:
      Anita: We can't shave!
      James: Or shower!
      Nurse Rench: Or void our bowels! Our bowels!
    • When the water goes out in the Valley, it cuts to a scene of Nurse Rench hosing off a pile of very bloody and dangerous looking medical equipment next to some poor bastard in a full body cast. Rench says "Thought I'd never get that splinter out!"
  • From Heroine Addict during Pickles' intervention over her thrill-seeking addiction:
    Pickle: Milo, be a dear and shoot Mommy in the head.
    Milo: Dad'll get mad.
    • The photographer hoping he doesn't get sued for photographing the Oblongs dressed as The Simpsons.
    • A parachuter brags that he's cheating death until he screams that isn't the case once he crashes into power lines, afterwards he's burned to ashes.
    • Anita's horrified response to Pickles deciding to quit drinking:
      Anita: NOOO I-I mean WHY?
  • At dinner Milo is finishing his explanation of what happened during his day.
  • He told our secret!? Black SpeechTranslation 
    • Really, most of Helga's scenes count as this, from baiting a squirrel into her mouth using an acorn to her self-delusions about her attractiveness and popularity. Also, from "Disfigured Debbie"...
    Milo: Beautiful people are the minority in this school! We have to get to the outcasts, the geeks and freaks, the wimps, the gimps, the simps!
    Helga: Yeah! Kill 'em All!
    Milo: No, no, no, we need their votes.
    Helga: Right, right. Voting good. Killing bad.
  • The aftermath of Biff and Chip walking in on their parents having sex in the kitchen in "Milo Interrupted".
    Bob: I hope Biff and Chip weren't too traumatized by our hot, Dutch love.
    Cut to Biff and Chip in the shower.
    Chip: I still see them!
    Chip: I'm trying!
    • Bob, who has no arms or legs, playing the piano in "Milo Interrupted".
  • This little exchange from "My Name Is Robbie"
    Dusty: What happened to your limbs? You look like a baby sea-cow.
    Bob: A sea-cow? Well, I may not have arms and legs, but I have the one body part that really matters in a man. And it's huge!
    Dusty: I'd like to see that.
    Male lifeguard: Me too. Note 
    • When Biff and Chip meet Dusty the C.J.-esque lifeguard:
    "Dusty? More like "Busty"!"
    "Nice one."
    "I was gonna say "Rusty", but "Busty" just came to me."
    • The ending, where Bob's artifical arms and legs are hijacked by a shark, who runs on land, beats up the beach-goers, and then engulfs the camera. All in the span of four seconds.
  • This bizarre little gem from "Pickles' Li'l Amazons" when Milo (dressed as a girl) tries to sell cookies door-to-door:
    Man: Well well if it isn't Mr. Denzel Washington come back to beg for my forgiveness.
    Milo: ...sir, I'm just a little boy in drag selling cookies.
    Man: This house is made of play dough. I've got four hundred honey bees in the parlor!
    (Pickles and the kids run away in horror)
    Man: Wait! Denzel come on back! Eskimo kisses.
    • On the bus ride home, the Debbies are singing. Loudly.
    Debbies: Debbie stole the cookie from the cookie jar! Who me? Yes, you! Couldn't be! Then who? DEBBIE stole the cookie from the cookie jar! (etc)
    • The moment the girls are kicked off the bus, a bear grabs one of the Debbies and runs off with her in its mouth.
      Troop Leader: Hmm, queer.
    • And the Chekhov's Skill at the end of the episode, where the training Pickles had given her troop were useless when it came to wilderness survival, but vital when it came to the urban setting.
  • In the first episode, Milo tries to see if Yvette is at home, only to get a recorded message from a hologram of Yvette. Seeing that Yvette is his crush and realizing that he is dealing with a hologram, Milo attempts to grope the holograms' breasts, only to be slapped in the face.
  • Milo, to the two bullies: "Everyone says you two have sex with each other!"
  • From "The Golden Child":
    George Klimer: Now, for your entertainment, the comedy stylings of Reynolds from accounting.
    Reynolds: (approaches mic) So-
    (is immediately hit with a bottle from the audience and knocked out)
  • After Bob gets his testicles stomped on by an exotic dancer, he's told he can't have sex for a few weeks. Pickles starts thinking Bob is having an affair, and tackles a nun she sees talking to Bob at during a funeral.
    Pickles: How dare you steal my husband!
    Nun 1: Me? I'm married to the Lord!
    Nun 2: Hey! I'm married to the Lord!
    Nun 1: Oh no you're not!
    (The nuns start fighting each other and roll into an open grave)
    Gravedigger: NUN PILE! (Dives in after them, followed by Pickles)
    • When Pickles gets home demanding to know who Bob's been with:
      Pickles: Don't screw with me Bob I bit off a nun's ear.
      • Which then leads to their deciding that two weeks isn't that long to wait. Two seconds later:
        Pickles: Gimme sex! Gimme sex!
        Bob: Aaaah! No means no. No means no!
      • And when Bob gets medically cleared, he tears off his shirt and pants with just his teeth.
    • Anita's Advice Backfire regarding the telltale signs of having an affair.
      Anita: Is he irrepressibly chipper?
      Pickles: He sure is.
      Anita: Stingy with the hugs?
      Pickles: You know, I always have to hug him!
      Anita: Is there a bounce in his step?
      Pickles: Oh my god, he has been bouncing!
    • And the Running Gag of Milo being incapable of sleeping without hearing his parents having sex, which results in his Attention Deficit... Ooh, Shiny! getting dulled to the point of his wearing a shawl and acting like an old woman.