Funny / The Boondock Saints

  • Connor and Murphy bickering about the rope while crawling through an air vent, which escalates into a full-on fight.
    • And bickering about it again on the window-washer in the sequel.
  • Also "Is it dead?"
  • "I killed your cat, you druggie bitch!" "But why?" "I thought it'd bring closure to our relationship."
  • "SH-YUT your FAT ASS, Rayvie! I can't go out to buy a pack of smokes without running into NINE GUYS YOU FUCKED!"
  • Rocco says he'll shoot himself if his girlfriend can even remember the name of her cat.
    "Uh... Skippy. Skippy!"
    "Ah, Jesus! What color was it, bitch?!"
  • The whole scene with Smecker and his Asian boyfriend
    Smecker: "What the fuck are you doing?"
    Boyfriend: "I'm trying to cuddle."
    Smecker: "Cuddle? What a fag."
  • "Who ordered the whoopass fajitas!?"
  • "Would somebody please come over here and-" "FUCK!" "Me up the-" "ASS!"
  • The joke that Rocco tells in the first movie.
  • "A black guy..." "—NIGGER!"
  • The entirety of the brothers' hit against the Chinese heroin dealers.
    Connor: That's heroin.
    Murphy: [pause] How the fuck would you know?
    Connor: Fuck you, I know shit!
  • The scene in the strip club in the first film, especially Rocco's "tit thing."
    Connor: What the fuck're ya doin'?
    Rocco: I'll tip her!
  • Connor and Murphy messing with "Jaffar" on his first big job.
  • Paul Smecker at one point in the film suggests, "This could be the start of the first international mob war." A few minutes later, his brilliant little theory is proven wrong.
  • Shortly after Smecker has gone into a confessional (while drunk), Rocco has followed him in with intent to kill despite the McManus brothers' wishes. He holds the priest in the confessional at gunpoint. This is the last straw—Connor reaches through the other confessional and holds Rocco at gunpoint so that the priest doesn't get hurt. Meanwhile this exchange between Smecker and the priest occurs:
    Priest: (still concerned for his life) Would they ever harm an innocent person for any reason?
    Smecker: No, they would never do that. Well — the two Irish guys wouldn't, the Italian guy, he might, he's kind of an idiot.
  • The deleted scene from the first movie where Connor and Murphy get a call from their mother.
  • The "upgrade" scene.
  • During the investigation of the firefight with Il Duce:
    Greenly: Hey, what if it was one guy with six guns?
  • Most of the time Greenly opens his mouth in general, it's gonna be funny.
  • Smecker often orders Greenly to get him coffee, though we never see Greenly go to get the coffee. However, Smecker always ends up holding a fresh cup the next scene we see him in.
    • In the sequel, Greenly meets Special Agent Bloom. Instantly, he starts trying to get into her pants.
      • Something she takes full advantage of.
  • In the second movie, when Romeo meets Doc:
    Doc: Nice to meet you, lad. They call me—FUCK! ASS!
    Romeo: How ya doin', fuckass? I'm Romeo.
  • Connor is a veritable gold mine for this entry
    "Oops! Busy signal. Looks like we'll have to calleth back!"
    "SHUT UP! Romeo's crying!"
  • "I'm strangely comfortable with it."
  • ...That certainly illustrates the diversity of the word!
    • If you don't want to watch that clip, it's Rocco delivering what would become the page quote for Cluster F-Bomb, after seeing the leaders of The Mafiya lying dead all over the place.