* Connor and Murphy bickering about the rope while crawling through an air vent, which escalates into a full-on fight.
** The Russian guy, who is loudly insulting his men in Russian before Conner and Murphy burst in and kill everyone in the room, ends up on his knees speaking the Russian equivalent of "what the fuck just happened?!" before he is executed.
** And bickering about it again on the window-washer in the sequel.
* Also [[BlackComedyAnimalCruelty "Is it dead?"]]
* "I killed your cat, you druggie bitch!" "But ''why''?" "I thought it'd bring closure to our relationship."
* "SH-YUT your FAT ASS, Rayvie! I can't buy a pack of smokes without running into NINE GUYS YOU FUCKED!"
* Rocco says he'll shoot himself if his girlfriend can even remember the name of her cat.
-->"Uh... Skippy. Skippy!"
-->"Ah, Jesus! [[MovingTheGoalposts What color was it]], bitch?!"
** Listen closely, [[NotHyperbole you can hear the hammer clicking on an empty chamber.]]
* The whole scene with Smecker and [[spoiler:his Asian boyfriend]]
---> '''Smecker''': "What the fuck are you doing?"
---> '''[[spoiler:Boyfriend]]''': "I just want to cuddle."
---> '''Smecker''': "Cuddle? What a fag."
* "Who ordered the whoopass fajitas!?"
** "DIIIING DOOOOOONG MOTHAFUCKA, DING DOOOOONG!!!!!!"
* "Would somebody ''please'' come ''over here'' and-" "'''FUCK!'''" "Me up the-" "'''ASS!'''"
* The joke that Rocco tells in the first movie.
* "A black guy..." "--[[NWordPrivileges NIGGER!]]"
* The entirety of the brothers' hit against the Chinese heroin dealers.
---> '''Connor''': That's heroin.
---> '''Murphy''': [pause] How the fuck would you know?
---> '''Connor''': Fuck you, I know shit!
* The scene in the strip club in the first film, especially Rocco's "tit thing."
---> '''Connor''': What the fuck are you doing?
---> '''Rocco''': ''(puts his hands up)'' I'll tip her!
* Connor and Murphy messing with "Jaffar" on his first big job.
* The brothers giving Rocco shit for his improvised ski mask making him look like Mushmouth from ''WesternAnimation/FatAlbertAndTheCosbyKids'' (they were actually thinking of Dumb Donald, but that's neither here nor there):
-->"Now Roc, are ya sure... that you're ''O-bee Kay-bee''?"
* Paul Smecker at one point in the film suggests, "This could be the start of the first international mob war." A few minutes later, his brilliant little theory is proven wrong.
** Well, it's actually right, as Papa Joe ''did'' order a hit on the Russian boss, but the Boys are a wild card nobody saw coming.
* Shortly after Smecker has gone into a confessional (while drunk), Rocco has followed him in with intent to kill despite the [=McManus=] brothers' wishes. He holds the priest in the confessional at gunpoint. This is the last straw--Connor reaches through the other confessional and holds ''Rocco'' at gunpoint so that the priest doesn't get hurt. Meanwhile this exchange between Smecker and the priest occurs:
--->'''Priest:''' (still concerned for his life) Would they ever harm an innocent person for any reason?
--->'''Smecker:''' No, they would never do that--well, the two Irish guys wouldn't. The Italian guy, he might. He's kind of an idiot.
----> Whereupon Rocco proceeds to ''agree'' with Smecker, in an [[ComicallyMissingThePoint effect to sound intimidating.]]
* The deleted scene from the first movie where Connor and Murphy get a call from their mother.
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-HvU2sKheg The "upgrade" scene.]]
* During the investigation of the firefight with Il Duce:
---> '''Greenly:''' Hey, what if it was [[OneManArmy one guy]] with [[MoreDakka six guns?]]
* Most of the time Greenly opens his mouth in general, it's gonna be funny.
* Smecker often orders Greenly to get him coffee, though we never see Greenly go to ''get'' the coffee. However, Smecker always ends up holding a fresh cup the next scene we see him in.
--->'''Greenly:''' I ain't gettin' him no ''fuckin''' bagel!
--->'''Smecker:''' We'll start the ass-kissin' with ''you''! [Jabs thumb over his shoulder at Greenly]
** In the sequel, Greenly meets Special Agent Bloom. Instantly, he starts trying to get into her pants.
*** Something she takes ''full'' advantage of.
* In the second movie, when Romeo meets Doc:
--->'''Doc:''' Nice to meet you, lad. They call me--FUCK! ASS!
--->'''Romeo:''' How ya doin', fuckass? I'm Romeo.
* Connor is a veritable gold mine for this entry
--->"STAY GOLD, PONY BOY!"
--->"Oops! Busy signal. Looks like we'll have to calleth back!"
--->"SHUT UP! Romeo's crying!"
* "I'm strangely comfortable with it."
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDQCaGlqLFY ...That certainly illustrates the diversity of the word!]]
** If you don't want to watch that clip, it's Rocco delivering what would become the page quote for ClusterFBomb, after seeing the leaders of TheMafiya lying dead all over the place.
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UD4oKK0pUTA "YOU INSIGNIFCUNT!!!"]]