Funny / The Blacklist

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    Season 1 
  • The pilot episode where Tom and Liz were greeted by several FBI agents outside their residence when they drove in from FBI Headquarters that the latter said that she didn't need to hitch a ride with her husband.
    • When Reddington was injected with a tracking device, he says "Ouch" in a bored tone like it's a normal routine for him.
    • When Harold Cooper shows up:
      Red: Evidently, someone with the authority to make decisions has arrived.
  • Anslo Garrick, in a brief cross into Laughably Evil:
    Tom: Who the hell is this?
  • Firmly cementing his status as a Magnificent Bastard: after forcing Harold to open the box, Red waits calmly until it has retracted all the way, adjusts his shirt and takes a step off the base of the cell before looking up and reacting in surprise, as if he had just noticed that he was surrounded by gunmen, hostages, and Anslo Garrick.
    Red: Anslo, what are you doing here?
  • A few of the moments from Red's Roaring Rampage of Revenge manage to come across as this:
    • After dousing a money launderer in vodka, he sticks a lit cigar in his mouth... and then decides he's taking too long to catch fire.
    Red: "('Laughing) Oh, my God, the suspense is killing me!" (shoots the guy in the chest)
    • His interactions with Janice, Henry's (the banker's) wife, especially his exasperation at her constant screaming, eventually tossing her into the closet. Red even said sorry for ruining the dinner.
    Red: "Janice, my sincerest apologies. I'll take a rain check on the stroganoff. It smells delicious."
    Red (after locking a freaked out Janice in the closet): Janice, if you don't stop your yammering I'm gonna have to shoot through this door, which will be a shame because I won't have any idea what I'm shooting at..
  • Red casually swinging on a swingset in "General Ludd."
  • This from "The Cyprus Agency":
    Evil Cornered Lawyer: "The truth is, the agency is-" (immediately gets hit by a random bus)
  • Have you ever wanted to see Raymond Reddington act like a Camp Gay? "Madeline Pratt" grants your wish, where he does this to distract a guard and rescue a tied-up Liz, by among other things, claiming she's Bashir al-Assad's mistress.
    Keen: What the hell was that?
    Reddington: I don't know, it just felt right.
  • There's something inherently funny about Lance Reddick dressed as a cowboy.
    • Red sarcastically complimenting him on his hat, telling him it takes "a certain kind of man" to wear it.
    • The final exchange between the two, when Reddick's character says he's going to charge Reddington double for dealing with Jolene.
    Reddington: Why?
    Cowboy: Because I don't like you. And that hat makes your head look stupid.
    Reddington: Finally, the pot meets the kettle.
  • The unusual sight of Dembe eating ice cream while surrounded by a huge stash of weed.
    • In a previous episode, Dembe randomly complimenting the color of Lizzie's kitchen.
  • This gem:
    "Dembe, get the hacksaw; we're gonna have to take this guy outta here in pieces."
  • When Red, Dembe and Liz are holding an agent of Berlin captive and are about to move him, the agent seizes an oppurtunity and kills himself by jumping out of a seventh floor window. Red, Dembe and Liz are shocked for a moment. Then Red says "okay, then" in the most casual tone imaginable and starts leaving anyway.
  • While Red is talking to an associate as the latter swims in his pool, Red has this gem:
    Reddington: I was a lifeguard my junior year in high school. Had to give CPR to Mrs. Beerman...she coughed up a lungful of corn beef and chlorine and I haven't been in a pool since.
  • Red breaks into the Russian Ambassador's quarters and is found holding the man's adorable little dog in one arm and a knife in the opposite hand. When the Ambassador angrily warns Red that he will die if the little dog is hurt, Red pretends to be offended at the suggestion that he would hurt a dog, goes to give the little dog a kiss... and then tosses the knife straight into the Ambassador's leg.

    Season 2 
  • Reddington's "negotiation" with Yaabari in "Lord Baltimore", which include air strikes on his camp in Cameroon. All without being nervous.
  • In "Monarch Douglas Bank", Red and Dembe go to visit a baker who also happens to be an arms dealer... and who dotes on Dembe like he's her favorite grandson.
  • Reddington's comments about Vargas in "Dr. James Covington". According to him, he resembles someone from a Humphrey Bogart movie. note 
    • Ressler telling Liz that he's Crazy-Prepared to have a spare key in case of emergencies. The said key being a crowbar.
    • Mr. Kaplan working on an impromptu autopsy at the grave of a victim as if it was a daily routine for her. Liz kept her nose covered due to the stench.
  • Reddington trying to avoid getting Haskel mad over a Noodle Incident in "Dr. Linus Creel" that involves the latter waking up in a hotel room without any memory of how he got there.
  • Every scene with Glen Carter.
  • In the "The Mombasa Cartel", Samara talks about how parts of exotic animals were used to cure a number of diseases. When she says erectile dysfunction, she glances meaningfully at Aram.
  • Luther Braxton and Red discussing philosophical quotes.
    Red: A wise man can learn more from a foolish question than a fool can learn from a wise answer.
    Braxton: Is that Nietzsche?
    Red: No, Bruce Lee.
  • Samar teases Aram near the end of "Deer Hunter" by telling him that he's still sexy even if he goes bald. Aram denies it at all.
  • Crosses into Black Comedy when Reddington shoots Earl in "T. Earl King VI" with a revolver his two sons were using for Russian roulette since it previously failed to fire.
    Red: (After shooting Earl) Oh, my God. What are the odds?
    • Earlier in the same episode, Elizabeth gets a call from Tom, who ends up giving her some pointers about going undercover, like pretending to sneeze if someone asks a question that might trip her up.
    Liz: I always thought you just had allergies.
  • When Liz was interrogated by a judge on the cases Reddington worked on in "The Major".
    Judge: How many of these cases has Reddington given you?
    [Montage of cases Liz and the Task Force has worked on]
    Liz: He keeps us busy.

    Season 3 

  • Aram hugging Ressler at the end of "Arioch Cain". Ressler warns him not to do it again over a misunderstanding when ADA Reven Wright thought that they were having a Ho Yay moment.
  • Reddington's blackmailing of a Venezuelan official in Virginia by giving him a hug and telling him that the photos could seal his fate if the press knows of his meeting with Reddington. He later says that it's for his photo album.
  • Liz greets everyone in the Post Office for saying their regards to her. She tells Aram she liked his trashy novel gifts.
    • Baz tells Liz he likes her short hair after telling her that Red moved her neighbor Zoe to a nicer apartment.
  • Reddington promised Glen two blonde willing women if he would find someone as fast as possible. Reddington presents Glen with two Pomeranian dogs he took from the previous Blacklister.
  • In "The Vehm" as Red confronts one of his contacts in his hiding spot he demands two things: The name of the villain of the week, and a song. As they start singing (with Red conducting with a BBQ fork) the look of utter disbelief of Dembe's face is hilarious
  • Tom chastises her for risking her life to bring Reddington his gun bag. Liz says she can't guarantee she'll do the same thing again.
  • Ressler is in disbelief that he saw Aram smoke a cigarette. Aram insists he did it just to break some thoughts from Liz's funeral.
    • That's not a cigarette he's smoking...after all, as Navabi points out, it's legal in DC.
  • During a heist on Kirk's Super PACS, Solomon busts out what is possibly the best one liner in bank heist history.
    Solomon: Everyone stay calm. We're your friendly neighborhood bankrobbers; except we're not from the neighborhood, and we sure as hell ain't friendly.

    Season 4 
  • Double with the funny in "Miles McGrath" when Reddington shoots his courier when the former tells him to screw himself. This made him very very afraid of the man.
    Reddington: [After shooting Miles' courier] "You were saying?"
  • In "The Lindquist Concern", when Ressler and Navabi informed a lawyer that someone stole his identity, the latter mentioned that he's black. The lawyer frowns and says that his ethnicity is not a crime.
  • Reddington kills a ruthless slave worker and diamond smuggler in his own apartment in "The Forecaster". Right on time, the "cleaners" the man uses show up, non-plussed to find their boss in a pool of blood.
    Woman: You did done him?
    Reddington: I did it.
    • Red introduces Dembe with the male cleaner remarking "aren't you a tall glass of chocolate milk." Dembe's face is priceless.
      • The female cleaner explains the two are "moonlighting" from their real up police crime scenes.
  • "The Harem" has Margot mentioning something really funny when she confronts a criminal in his nightclub.
    Margot: This one says she reads people. Like those, uh, FBI mindhunters who predict behavior. That's nonsense, right? But I will be damned if she didn't just predict yours.

    Season 5 
  • In "Smokey Putnam", Red shoots the ceiling of the house where Putnam is hiding to scare him into coming downstairs. Only for him to fall through the ceiling. Liz looks over and seems about to burst out laughing. Red's reaction is priceless.
    Red: Now there's an entrance.
  • In "Ilyas Surkov", Tom complains to the baby when he contemplates on solving the mystery on the bones missing from Kaplan's luggage.
  • Red turns out to have no idea what Star Wars is about.
  • Red goes to a genius hacker...who's a 15 year old Japanese kid living in his mom's basement. And then his mom finds him with Red and throws a fit. Red had tried to bribe her with four spiders as a gift...unaware that in Japanese culture, four is a homonym for death.
    • The gang are alerted to goons entering.
    Red: We'll leave through the hole in the fence.
    Mother: There's no hole in fence. (she sees her son grimace and gasps) I sit.
    Liz: They'll kill you if they do.
    Mother: Good, end the misery.
    • The woman spends the rest of the episode just glaring at Red silently, which completely freaks him out.
  • Raymond has to "admire the testicular fortitude of a man using the alias Wee Willie Winkie."
  • Red goes to help a friend out with a drug dealer.
    Red: There's something quite on the nose about a drug operation inside a candy factory. I can't get Sammy Davis Jr. out of my head."
  • Brimley the unusual Torture Technician makes his return.
    Brimley: I need some pastrami.
    • And when he says there's no useful information to get out his latest subject:
    Red: Are you sure?
    Brimley: Does an opossum have 13 nipples?
    Red: ...I honestly have no idea. I'd have thought it was an even number.
  • In "Zarak Mosadek", Reddington tries to inform the parishioners in a church that a gas leak is taking place. Seconds later, he and Dembe get into a firefight with armed men. He then later tells them that the leak is taken care of.