Funny: The Almighty Johnsons
Season 2Episode 1
- Ty's drugged haze at his housewarming party:
Mike: Ty, how many drugs have you taken?
Axl: ...all of them.
- The "thing." In the old language, it's a meeting of the clans, a way to talk things through and sort everything out.
Axl: While playing mini-golf!?
Olaf: We added mini-golf over the years.
- Gaia goes missing, and Axl needs to find her before her father. So, he goes to the bar and asks the God of the Hunt.
Axl: I need you to find Gaia for me.
[Mike points to his left; Gaia is sitting at a table]
Axl: ...okay. Good work.
- When Olaf comes to collect Ty for the Viking funeral.
Ty: ...are you drunk?
Olaf: I'm still drunk from last night.
Ty: I thought you were reborn each morning.
Olaf: I am; somehow, alcohol still gets through. Strictly speaking, what you see here is Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.
- Axl's Gender Bender episode, particularly when Zeb tries to seduce Girl Axl.
- Agneatha trying to get Axl to hold a Folkmoot.
Axl: So...is a Folkmoot something you actually hold? Like, in your hand?
Agneatha: Oh, for fuck's sake, did your oracle teach you nothing?
Axl: Olef's my oracle.
- Olaf again when Bryn and Jacob end up at Mike's bar. He identifies them as the "midget giant" and "freakishly tall dwarf" by what they smell like...after circling around and sniffing at them. When he and the other gods introduce themselves, Bryn and Jacob run away. Jacob runs straight into the door.
- Turns out Gaia's a goddess.
Jacob: I told you giving her a hippy goddess name was way too much of a clue!
Bren: It was Waihiki! I was trying to blend in!
- Jacob gives too many cowardly, self-serving suggestions, and gets thrown out. Physically thrown out.
Jacob: Oh, sure, embrace the stereotype! Toss the dwarf!
- Everybody forgets to get Gaia a birthday present.
George: You got the Earth Mother garden vouchers.
Leon: Hey, you try shopping for Poppotuniku! It's hard!
George: But vouchers!?
Leon: Everybody loves vouchers! You can get whatever you want!
Season 3Episode 2
- Anders nearly dies, and Michele saves him...but he's still lost a lot of blood. Every time he stands up, he just faints dead away.
Ty: You'd think this would be getting old.
Olaf: But it's not.
- Olaf getting Dawn high off his chocolate chip dope cookies. There's something hilarious and oddly adorable about the normally straight-laced Dawn giggling and going on about clouds and climbing jungle gyms.
Dawn: These are great! Where'd you get them?
Olaf: I made them.
Dawn: ...oh. What kind are they?
Olaf: Chocolate chip.
[they continue eating for a moment]
Olaf: I really like how the chocolate covers the taste of the dope.
- Olaf in a purple squid costume punching his son Johan. The flailing tentacles, blue underpants and angry stomping off don't help. Even Ty has to struggle not to laugh.
- The brothers pouring ice down Anders' pants.
- Colin dancing a merry jig as he burns Ty's house down.