Funny / The A-Team

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  • "Mexican Slayride":
    • Hannibal in his monster costume daring the MP's to cross the Red Sea set. When it works, he turns the water back on.
    • B.A. gets suspicious en route to the airport. Hannibal asserts they're nowhere near the airport — and is contradicted twice by the airplanes roaring by overhead.
    • B.A. tries to punch Hannibal upon realizing what's going on, but keels over mid-blow. Amy says incredulously, "He hit you!" and Hannibal responds that B.A. didn't hit him.
      Hannibal: If he'd hit me, I'd be in the hospital.
    • While they're boarding the plane, Amy spots Lynch, who's also spotted them. She asks Hannibal "What's that?", and Hannibal replies, "That's nothing." Right. Having the army on your back is nothing.
    • Amy asks why Face and Hannibal are binding B.A. after they get him on the plane. Hannibal's answer, delivered in a completely matter-of-fact tone: "So he doesn't kill us once he wakes up."
    • Hannibal's way of informing Murdock that B.A. will soon be conscious and they need to get the plane down: "The sleeping giant awakes."
  • "The Big Squeeze":
    • At the beginning, Murdock, in character as a member of the B.B.D.W.G.O.H., is going on and happens to mention filing grievances. B.A. mentions he has a grievance to file: he doesn't like Murdock.
    • During the funeral, Jack Lane goes up to spit in Hannibal's face...and gets a nasty surprise when the "deceased" sits up very much alive. The shock on his face is absolutely priceless.
  • "Say It With Bullets":
    • When Hannibal sends Murdock to monitor Tawnia while she's attempting to slip the bug on Harnett, Face asks if they hadn't better send someone more "jelled" than "the Golden Age of Television" to keep watch over her.
    • Colonel Decker is tricked into destroying a guest house on the Army base, thinking that Hannibal and the team are holed up inside. His irate reaction, "A JOKE??????!!!!!" after realizing he's been had is priceless.
    Hannibal: "Are these the only guys in the van, Murdock?"
    Murdock: "Yes, sir. I checked for invisibles, but they didn't have any with them."
  • In the fifth season, the Team have been captured and are facing a firing squad. Each has an Imagine Spot about ways to escape the situation. BA's is that Murdock flies in with a chopper ready to rescue him. But instead of pulling BA up right away, Murdock tries to get him to agree to more and more demands, like moving in with him. Eventually, BA jumps back down and tells the squad to go ahead and shoot.
  • After the team is exposed to radiation:
    Frankie: I wanted to have kids. Do you think we can still have kids, Murdock?
    Murdock: I don't think I know you well enough.
  • Anything Murdock does. But special mention goes to the time (in "Till Death Do Us Part") that he helped a client escape her evil fiance by taking her place in the wedding. During his getaway, he stops to shake an elderly guest's hand:
    Murdock: Thanks so much for coming to my wedding! I love your dress! [runs off, wedding dress and veil billowing out behind him]
    • Even funnier is Murdock, still in the wedding dress, running after the catering truck that the rest of the team is using as a getaway vehicle, and Face leaning out the back of the truck, shouting, "Come to me, my precious!"
    • And later in the episode, he writes the villain a letter of apology for leaving him at the altar.
    • Also, Face's "wedding". Particularly B.A. having to give him one of his oversized rings to put on the bride's finger and the silly face B.A. makes for the wedding video.
  • "The Rabbit Who Ate Las Vegas":
    • A garage attendant, who just complained about never getting to park any cars thanks to how cheap people are, knocks on the A-Team's van — and comes face to face with the annoyed B.A. The scared attendant meekly accepts his snappish answer that he doesn't want help parking the car.
    • The end of the episode: Murdock attempting to "thumb a ride"— only he's attempting to flag down airplanes, not cars. When one airplane doesn't stop, he yells an insult after it.
    Airport official: We've got a civilian on the runway...he seems to be trying to hitchhike.
  • "The Out-of-Towners":
    • While they're posing as civilians to get intel on the bad guys, Hannibal gets punched and Face gets knocked into a basket (?) After the incident is over, one of the victims of the week examines Hannibal and finds that the guy who punched him broke a rib. Face asks if a doctor is out of the question. Hannibal responds that he'll go on without one...and Face looks at his little finger, which has a bit of blood, seemingly indicating that he wasn't talking about Hannibal's broken rib.
    • One of the villains' mooks just happens to get in the cab Face is using while the team is getting ready for the showdown. What follows is an extremely bad day for said mook, as he gets taken along while Face returns to the showndown street, has Face lock the doors and blasely ignore his threats, and gets told when Face gets out that he'll probably be happier locked in the car for what's going to happen. The viewer sees the guy cringing during the ensuing firefight, and when the team escorts "East Side Charlie" and the other mooks to the cab, he gets out and runs away.
  • One episode, Labor Pains, has Murdock fooling around with a ouija board the whole time. At the end, he goes into another "trance" and begins to intone "Decker is coming, Decker is coming...". BA is fed up and just as things are about to get ugly, they hear sirens. Cue incredulous expressions from everyone except Hannibal- whose face just screams Oh Crap!.
  • One More Time:
    • This conversation between Colonel Lynch and one of his M.P.'s at the beginning of the episode.
    MP: Well, Colonel Lynch, chasing Hannibal Smith as much as we have, I've come to appreciate his sense of humor.
    Lynch: Sense of humor? You think that's funny then, Hannibal Smith working under the name of 'Lynch'?
    MP: Well I mean considering the fact that we've looked everywhere for him, and all this time he's working in the open under your very name.
    *Lynch glares at him*
    * Beat*
    MP: Well, no, sir, I don't think that's funny.
    • The army offers Hannibal, Face, and B.A. a Mercy Lead for rescuing one of their old commanders, B.A. isn't keen on taking it, railing repeatedly about how the general called him a liar and nobody calls B.A. Baracas a liar. It gets to where Hannibal has to stop him and say that he thinks he's made that point.
  • "In Plane Sight":
  • Face and Murdock's failed attempts to go on a double date in The Trouble with Harry.
    • Murdock repeatedly telling Face, "You should've never answered that phone!"
  • Holiday in the Hills:
    • This exchange:
    Face [reads Murdock's list]: Are you nuts?
    Face: How am I gonna get all this stuff out here in the middle of nowhere?
    Murdock: Hey you always say you can get anything, anywhere, anytime.
    Face: Yeah, but I -
    * Beat*
    Murdock: How did you get that '53 Cadillac convertible in the jungles of 'Nam?
    Face [smirks]: Professional secret.
    • Face's entire conversation with Louanne during his priest scam from that same episode. This bit in particular:
    Face: You're such a sweet soul. So innocent, pretty...just like...Mary Anne.
    Louanne: Mary Anne? *Face nods* My name's Louanne.
    Face: Really?
    Louanne: Y'know I've always been kinda fascinated with priests because they aren't allowed...I mean, they don't...
    Face: Ah. But sometimes...they do.
    Louanne: Oh and Mary Anne?
    Face: Sometimes the runner...stumbles.
    Louanne: Oh, Father, I'm truly sorry. What can I do to help?
    Louanne: Gasoline engine?
    Face: Y'know, for my power lawn mower.
    Louanne: You want a...power lawn mower?
    • Face's absolute adorkableness while pretending to be the priest is a major part of what makes this scene so funny. His expressions throughout are just priceless, as is his delivery.
    • Also, this, from the beginning.
    Face: Murdock, uh, what's gonna happen?
    Murdock: Looks like we gonna crash.
    Face: [laughs nervously]: C'mon, really, what's gonna happen?
    Murdock: It looks like we gonna crash...and die.
    • Murdock flirting with himself in two different accents is absolutely hilarious.
    B.A.: "You crashed the plane!"
    Murdock: "No, no, no, no. I merely relocated the aircraft with extreme prejudice because of a TOTAL LOSS OF THRUST AND LIFT FUNCTIONS!!!"
  • "Pros and Cons":
    • The let-down look on Hannibal's face when his plan to get them arrested fails.
    • Murdock completely exasperating the prison staff with a faked fixation: "I want TRAAASHBAAAGS! I want TRAAASHBAAAGS!"
    • When the prison staff takes B.A. away for one of the death matches, one of the guards comments mockingly on Hannibal's expression, questioning why he looks like that.
    Hannibal [high-pitched, delicate voice]: I hate violence. I just hate it.
  • "The Taxicab Wars":
    • Murdock becoming Captain Cab and Captain Cab's timid alter-ego, Dr. Vern, veterinarian, and also voicing Captain Cab's sidekick sassy sock-puppet dog, Socky.
    • B.A. grabs Murdock's bag away and complains about how he's got a cape and mask in there. Hannibal says, "No cowl?"
  • "Steel":
    • B.A. threatens to drop Murdock's radio if he turns it up one more time. Murdock says, "You wouldn't" — and B.A. does. The few seconds afterward, with Murdock complaining to Hannibal about it and Hannibal telling him to quiet down as he can't hear what's happening inside, are hilariously similar to a pair of siblings asking for intervention from a parent who's too busy to get involved at the moment.
    • The ending. The job is wrapped up and Hannibal tells Face to take Murdock back to the V.A. Face begins complaining about how he picked Murdock up and how he doesn't want him acting like a dog in his absolutely no effect.
  • At the end of "Chopping Spree", most of the group humors Murdock and says goodbye to the plant he's been doting on all episode...all except B.A., who passes it off as foolishness. Then, when all the others have piled into the van, he approaches the plant. Then he turns around for a moment and sees that everyone is looking at him. They quickly return to normal positions upon realizing they've been caught.
  • The ending of "Deadly Manuevers". Hannibal insists on continuing with their training, and he, Murdock, and B.A. jog off. Face waits until they're all some distance ahead of him, and, smiling smugly, climbs into the van, which Tawnia and Dr. Sullivan were supposed to drive back to town. As the van catches up with the others, he waves at B.A., who drags him out of the van.
  • "Incident at Crystal Lake". Hannibal chiding Face about falling for Decker's bait — a pretty girl.
    Face: It could have happened to anyone.
    Hannibal: Yes, but it always happens to you!
  • "Breakout": A robber carjacks Murdock and demands he drive him somewhere in the van. Murdock warns him that stealing B.A.'s precious van is "like taking downtown Tokyo away from Godzilla."
  • In "Cup 'A Joe", Murdock is taking inventory while the others are loading the boxes. He withstands both Hannibal's nudging and Face's offer to "switch jobs"...and then B.A. applies the threat of physical force and breaks his clipboard, sending Murdock scurrying to help with the boxes. Hannibal gives B.A. a congratulatory shoulder pat.
  • Villain: "You're nuts!"
    Murdock: "No, I'm not, I'm condiments. I've been promoted."
  • Hannibal and Murdock masquerading as an old, wheelchair-bound woman and her yo-yo obsessed son (respectively) threaten and then shoot up the office of The Dragon in that episode, without once breaking character. Those couple of minutes holds so much Crazy Awesome and complete hilarity as Hannibal plays the sweet and proper old lady (including the sweet and innocent look he holds while shooting up the office) and Murdock the doting son (who knocks out a couple of goons with his yo-yo for his mother as any good son should) has to be seen twice to be believed.
  • "Black Day at Bad Rock":
    • After escaping from jail in 'Bad Rock' and locking the sheriff in his own cells the A Team are forced to come back and release him in order to deal with a biker gang.
    Sheriff: "You came back"
    Hannibal: "That's right."
    Sheriff: "Okay, I'll bite. Why?"
    Face: "You're supposed to count to a hundred and yell ready or not."
    • Murdock doing a full-body chicken impression to lure the Barbarians into the trap.
  • Any time Face has to break Murdock out of the V.A., and any of the times Murdock breaks himself out.
  • In "Hot Styles" Hannibal and Murdock using French accents for an entire scene just for the hell of it.
  • Murdock's 'pilot's prayer' in "Where Is The Monster When You Need Him?"
    Murdock: Oh God: the sky is so big and my plane is so crummy, please don't let me eat it.
  • This exchange in "Harder Than It Looks":
    Murdock: The colonel really bends my mind out shape, you know?
    B.A.: If your mind was bent out of shape, it'd be straight, fool!

  • These lines between B. A. And Murdock in the opening helicopter escape:
    Murdock: You can't park there, it's a handicapped zone!
  • Just about anything Murdock says counts as one right after another, but one particularly notable example is the German fisherman's wife.
  • Speaking of the wife, her expression when her husband gets dunked is priceless.
  • When the passports for Murdock and B.A. get mixed up, with B.A. getting the one saying he's a Rabbi while Murdock gets the one which says he's from Tanzania with the check-in clerk being from Tanzania himself. After a little stuttering, Murdock reveals he is able to speak in flawless Swahili and manages to convince the Tanzanian check-in clerk he is from Tanzania.
  • Murdock's Braveheart impression.
  • "So Satan walks into this bar..."
  • In the flying tank:
    B.A.: Why the hell are we in a falling tank?!
    Murdock: Because the plane exploded!
    B.A.: What?! When?!
    Murdock: ...Recently!
  • "Technically, we're not flying." "I know! 'Cause we fallin', fool!"
  • Just before the tank:
    Murdock: Don't worry boys! Turbulence has never brought down a plane!
    [Reaper drones begin attack]
    Murdock: We are currently being engaged by reaper drones... And they bring down planes all the time!
  • Also, after about the fourth flying incident: Murdock says that drugging B.A. was Hannibal and Face's idea, but the food was Murdock's.
    [Murdock injects B.A. just before getting onto a seaplane; B.A. promptly faceplants.]
    Face: Murdock, what did we tell you? You have to...
    Hannibal and Face together: catch him after you inject him.
    Murdock: ... my bad.
    • 'Toast points!'
      • 'Why do I feel like I fell on my face?'
  • "You're really, really tan."
  • Murdock and the helicopter at the beginning of the movie. He exclaims in a British accent, "Oh, you gorgeous rustbucket! Did you miss your daddy?" and a few moments later is seen swinging on one of the blades singing, "You spin me right round, baby, right round...Rotors are good, sir!" That part alone was worth the ticket price.
  • Murdock's...unique style of barbecueing steaks.
    "It's only partial paralysis. Come on. Take it like a man!"
  • After Murdock is broken out of a psychiatric hospital during a 3D movie:
    "You guys should see this in 3D! It's like we're really getting shot at!"
  • "Are they trying to shot down the other drone?" " No, they're trying to fly the tank."
    • They shoot down a drone. With a tank. In mid-air.
    • As the tank is falling, the camera does a close-up zoom on the "HOW'S MY DRIVING" bumper sticker on the back.
  • Hannibal saying "whoopsie" after he's just ran over Pike; something about the deadpan glee in Liam Neeson's voice is absolutely hysterical.
  • "It's just like Call of Duty!"
  • The scene where Lynch's flunky is completely screwing up his attempt to execute Pike. It gets to the point that Pike himself is giving him pointers, and for his last request, asks that someone else kill him because of how embarrassing it is. The entire scene is hilarious:
    Pike: *As an agent pulls out a gun.* "Hey. What are you doing? In the car?"
    Lynch: "Are we doing... Are we gonna do this in the car?"
    Pike: "You doing this?"
    Lynch: "He's gonna do it."
    Pike: *Agent drops his silencer.* "Way to go. That's brilliant, right there. What are you doing? What is he doing?" *Agent puts his gun between his legs, barrel pointing up.* "Jesus."
    Lynch: "How's it going, Kyle? You all right?"
    Kyle: "I'm good."
    Pike: "Brother, you are far from good. What are you doing?"
    Kyle: *Screwing the silencer in the wrong direction.* "It's a European silencer."
    Pike: "It's a suppressor. Counter-clockwise. You're holding a gun like that? You've held a gun like that before and you're still here? That's amazing." *Kyle points the gun at Pike's chest, putting the agent sitting on Pike's other side directly in the line of fire.* "Don't point that thing... Jesus. Final request, don't let this guy shoot me, please."
    Lynch: "Okay, this was not well thought out."
    Pike: "No shit. I mean, look at this. Am I to teach you how to kill me? Hey, do me a favor, all right? Put the barrel... Put the gun flush to my head."
    Kyle: "Are you sure?" *He hesitantly puts the gun to Pike's head.*
    Pike: "There you go, right there. Before you hurt somebody besides me." *He proceeds to disarm Kyle and hand his gun to the other agent. Lynch immediately points his own gun at Pike.* "There you go. We're okay. We're okay." *He reveals his open handcuffs.* "Never cuff a man in a seated position with his hands behind his back. Makes it impossible to see the hands."
    Lynch: "That was cool."
    Pike: "You like that?"
    Lynch: "I like that. I like that a lot." *The other agent, Brad, gets a phone call and he answers it with the gun still in his hand. Lynch turns to Kyle.* "Are you all right, you idiot?"
    Kyle: "Yeah. it was a good hit."
    Lynch: "Please handcuff him."
    Pike: "We don't need to use them again. We don't need the cuffs."
    Lynch: "Who are you talking to?" *Brad has his left hand, the hand holding the gun, over his free ear so that he can hear what the phone is saying.* "Brad, phone or gun."
    Pike: "Jesus."
    Lynch: "Phone or gun. Pick."
    Pike: *The gun's barrel swings dangerously close to his head.* "Hey, hey."
  • Face rolling down the hill, throwing up, and then making out with the hot wife of the guy he shouldn't have pissed off.
    • Then, 8-1/2 years later, Face has pretty much taken over a federal prison in the six months he's been there, to the extent that the prison staff are all his friends, he is remodeling his cell to be a practical paradise, is managing to get some tail while locked up, and was a week away from his parole hearing when Hannibal busted him out against his will.
  • "Gentlemen, are any of you armed and/or wanted fugitives? Well we're both."
  • "You spin me right round, baby, right round..."
    • "Who is this guy?!"
  • Sosa twigs The A Team had given her the slip and discovers four soldiers imitating them, who thought she's a stripper and reveal they were given a case of beer and fifty bucks apiece. Except for a big Asian guy who was given a hundred for shaving his hair.
  • This exchange:
    Murdock: (to B.A. while playing with a pig hand puppet) Hello! My name is Percy! Would you like some pork?
    B.A.: ...If I broke every bone in your hand, could you still do that?