Funny: The A-Team

TV series

  • The second-season episode "Say It With Bullets," where Colonel Decker is tricked into destroying a guest house on the Army base, thinking that Hannibal and the team are holed up inside. His irate reaction, "A JOKE??????!!!!!" after realizing he's been had is priceless.
  • In the fifth season, the Team have been captured and are facing a firing squad. Each has an Imagine Spot about ways to escape the situation. BA's is that Murdock flies in with a chopper ready to rescue him. But instead of pulling BA up right away, Murdock tries to get him to agree to more and more demands, like moving in with him. Eventually, BA jumps back down and tells the squad to go ahead and shoot.
  • After the team is exposed to radiation:
    Frankie: I wanted to have kids. Do you think we can still have kids, Murdock?
    Murdock: I don't think I know you well enough.
  • Anything Murdock does. But special mention goes to the time he helped a client escape her evil fiance by taking her place in the wedding. During his getaway, he stops to shake an elderly guest's hand:
    Murdock: Thanks so much for coming to my wedding! I love your dress! [runs off, wedding dress and veil billowing out behind him]
    • Even funnier is Murdock, still in the wedding dress, running after the catering truck that the rest of the team is using as a getaway vehicle, and Face leaning out the back of the truck, shouting, "Come to me, my precious!"
    • And later in the episode, he writes the villain a letter of apology for leaving him at the altar.
    • Also, Face's "wedding". Particularly when B.A. has to give him one of his oversized rings. And the silly face he makes for the wedding video.
  • One episode, Labor Pains, has Murdock fooling around with a ouija board the whole time. At the end, he goes into another "trance" and begins to intone "Decker is coming, Decker is coming...". BA is fed up and just as things are about to get ugly, they hear sirens. Cue incredulous expressions from everyone except Hannibal- whose face just screams Oh Crap!.
  • Lynch and his right-hand MP, in One More Time:
    MP: Well, Colonel Lynch, chasing Hannibal Smith as much as we have, I've come to appreciate his sense of humor.
    Lynch: Sense of humor? You think that's funny then, Hannibal Smith working under the name of 'Lynch'?
    MP: Well I mean considering the fact that we've looked everywhere for him, and all this time he's working in the open under your very name.
    *Lynch glares at him*
    * Beat*
    MP: Well no sir, I don't think that's funny.
  • Murdock, under disguise as pilot Dick Nash (In Plane Sight), grabs a bottle from a villain's desk and opens it in Grievous Bottley Harm fashion to drink from it. After that he realizes he doesn't like the flavor, and drops it altogether to the floor.
  • Face and Murdock's failed attempts to go on a double date in The Trouble with Harry.
    • Murdock repeatedly telling Face, "You should've never answered that phone!"
  • This exchange from Holiday in the Hills:
    Face *reads Murdock's list*: Are you nuts?
    Murdock: Absolutely and totally.
    Face: How am I gonna get all this stuff out here in the middle of nowhere?
    Murdock: Hey you always say you can get anything, anywhere, anytime.
    Face: Yeah, but I -
    * Beat*
    Murdock: How did you get that '53 Cadillac convertible in the jungles of 'Nam?
    Face *smirks*: Professional secret.
    • Face's entire conversation with Louanne during his priest scam from that same episode. This bit in particular:
    Face: You're such a sweet soul. So innocent, pretty...just like...Mary Anne.
    Louanna: Mary Anne? *Face nods* My name's Louanne.
    Face: Really?
    Louanne: Y'know I've always been kinda fascinated with priests because they aren't allowed...I mean, they don't...
    Face: Ah. But sometimes...they do.
    Louanne: Oh and Mary Anne?
    Face: Sometimes the runner...stumbles.
    Louanne: Oh, Father, I'm truly sorry. What can I do to help?
    Louanne: Gasoline engine?
    Face: Y'know, for my power lawn mower.
    Louanne: You want a...power lawn mower?
    • Face's absolute adorkableness while pretending to be the priest is a major part of what makes this scene so funny. His expressions throughout are just priceless, as is his delivery.
    • Also, this, from the beginning.
    Face: Murdock, uh, what's gonna happen?
    Murdock: Looks like we gonna crash.
    Face *laughs nervously*: C'mon, really, what's gonna happen?
    Murdock: It looks like we gonna crash...and die.
    • Murdock flirting with himself in two different accents is absolutely hilarious.
    B.A.: "You crashed the plane!"
    Murdock: "No,no,no,no. I merely relocated the aircraft with extreme prejudice because of a TOTAL LOSS OF THRUST AND LIFT FUNCTIONS!!!"
  • Hannibal in his monster costume daring the MP's to cross the Red Sea set.
  • Murdock becoming Captain Cab and Captain Cab's timid alter-ego, Dr. Vern, veterinarian, and also voicing Captain Cab's sidekick sassy sock-puppet dog, Socky.
  • Villain: "You're nuts!"
    Murdock: "No, I'm not, I'm condiments. I've been promoted."
  • * Hannibal and Murdock masquerading as an old, wheelchair-bound woman and her yo-yo obsessed son (respectively) threaten and then shoot up the office of The Dragon in that episode, without once breaking character. Those couple of minutes holds so much Crazy Awesome and complete hilarity as Hannibal plays the sweet and proper old lady (including the sweet and innocent look he holds while shooting up the office) and Murdock the doting son (who knocks out a couple of goons with his yo-yo for his mother as any good son should) has to be seen twice to be believed.
  • After escaping from jail in 'Bad Rock' and locking the sheriff in his own cells the A Team are forced to come back and release him in order to deal with a biker gang.
    Sheriff: "You came back"
    Hannibal: "That's right."
    Sheriff: "Okay, I'll bite. Why?"
    Face: "You're supposed to count to a hundred and yell ready or not."
  • Hannibal: "Are these the only guys in the van, Murdock?"
    Murdock: "Yes, sir. I checked for invisibles, but they didn't have any with them."
  • Any time Face has to break Murdock out of the V.A., and any of the times Murdock breaks himself out.
  • In "Hot Styles" Hannibal and Murdock using French accents for an entire scene just for the hell of it.
  • Murdock's 'pilot's prayer' in "Where Is The Monster When You Need Him?"
    Murdock: Oh God: the sky is so big and my plane is so crummy, please don't let me eat it.


  • These lines between B. A. And Murdock in the opening helicopter escape:
    Murdock: You can't park there, it's a handicapped zone!
  • Just about anything Murdock says counts as one right after another, but one particularly notable example is the German fisherman's wife.
  • Speaking of the wife, her expression when her husband gets dunked is priceless.
  • When the passports for Murdock and B.A. get mixed up, with B.A. getting the one saying he's a Rabbi while Murdock gets the one which says he's from Tanzania with the check-in clerk being from Tanzania himself. After a little stuttering, Murdock reveals he is able to speak in flawless Swahili and manages to convince the Tanzanian check-in clerk he is from Tanzania.
  • Murdock's Braveheart impression.
  • "So Satan walks into this bar..."
  • In the flying tank:
    B.A.: Why the hell are we in a falling tank?!
    Murdock: Because the plane exploded!
    B.A.: What?! When?!
    Murdock: ...Recently!
  • "Technically, we're not flying." "I know! 'Cause we fallin', fool!"
  • Just before the tank:
    Murdock: Don't worry boys! Turbulence has never brought down a plane!
    [Reaper drones begin attack]
    Murdock: We are currently being engaged by reaper drones... And they bring down planes all the time!
  • Also, after about the fourth flying incident: Murdock says that drugging B.A. was Hannibal and Face's idea, but the food was Murdock's.
    • 'Toast points!'
      • 'Why do I feel like I fell on my face?'
  • "You're really, really tan."
  • Murdock and the helicopter at the beginning of the movie. He exclaims in a British accent, "Oh, you gorgeous rustbucket! Did you miss your daddy?" and a few moments later is seen swinging on one of the blades singing, "You spin me right round, baby, right round...Rotors are good, sir!" That part alone was worth the ticket price.
  • Murdock's...unique style of barbecueing steaks.
    "It's only partial paralysis. Come on. Take it like a man!"
  • After Murdock is broken out of a psychiatric hospital during a 3D movie:
    "You guys should see this in 3D! It's like we're really getting shot at!"
  • "Are they trying to shot down the other drone?" " No, they're trying to fly the tank."
    • They shoot down a drone. With a tank. In mid-air.
    • As the tank is falling, the camera does a close-up zoom on the "HOW'S MY DRIVING" bumper sticker on the back.
  • Hannibal saying "whoopsie" after he's just ran over Pike was known to crack up entire theaters. Something about the deadpan glee in Liam Neeson's voice is absolutely hysterical.
  • "It's just like Call of Duty!"
  • How about the scene where Lynch's flunky is completely screwing up his attempt to execute Pike. It gets to the point that Pike himself is giving him pointers, and for his last request, asks that someone else kill him because of how embarrassing it is. The entire scene is hilarious:
    Pike: *As an agent pulls out a gun.* "Hey. What are you doing? In the car?"
    Lynch: "Are we doing... Are we gonna do this in the car?"
    Pike: "You doing this?"
    Lynch: "He's gonna do it."
    Pike: *Agent drops his silencer.* "Way to go. That's brilliant, right there. What are you doing? What is he doing?" *Agent puts his gun between his legs, barrel pointing up.* "Jesus."
    Lynch: "How's it going, Kyle? You all right?"
    Kyle: "I'm good."
    Pike: "Brother, you are far from good. What are you doing?"
    Kyle: *Screwing the silencer in the wrong direction.* "It's a European silencer."
    Pike: "It's a suppressor. Counter-clockwise. You're holding a gun like that? You've held a gun like that before and you're still here? That's amazing." *Kyle points the gun at Pike's chest, putting the agent sitting on Pike's other side directly in the line of fire.* "Don't point that thing... Jesus. Final request, don't let this guy shoot me, please."
    Lynch: "Okay, this was not well thought out."
    Pike: "No shit. I mean, look at this. Am I to teach you how to kill me? Hey, do me a favor, all right? Put the barrel... Put the gun flush to my head."
    Kyle: "Are you sure?" *He hesitantly puts the gun to Pike's head.*
    Pike: "There you go, right there. Before you hurt somebody besides me." *He proceeds to disarm Kyle and hand his gun to the other agent. Lynch immediately points his own gun at Pike.* "There you go. We're okay. We're okay." *He reveals his open handcuffs.* "Never cuff a man in a seated position with his hands behind his back. Makes it impossible to see the hands."
    Lynch: "That was cool."
    Pike: "You like that?"
    Lynch: "I like that. I like that a lot." *The other agent, Brad, gets a phone call and he answers it with the gun still in his hand. Lynch turns to Kyle.* "Are you all right, you idiot?"
    Kyle: "Yeah. it was a good hit."
    Lynch: "Please handcuff him."
    Pike: "We don't need to use them again. We don't need the cuffs."
    Lynch: "Who are you talking to?" *Brad has his left hand, the hand holding the gun, over his free ear so that he can hear what the phone is saying.* "Brad, phone or gun."
    Pike: "Jesus."
    Lynch: "Phone or gun. Pick."
    Pike: *The gun's barrel swings dangerously close to his head.* "Hey, hey."
  • Face rolling down the hill, throwing up, and then making out with the hot wife of the guy he shouldn't have pissed off.
    • Then, 8-1/2 years later, Face has pretty much taken over a federal prison in the six months he's been there, to the extent that the prison staff are all his friends, he is remodeling his cell to be a practical paradise, is managing to get some tail while locked up, and was a week away from his parole hearing when Hannibal busted him out against his will.
  • "Gentlemen, are any of you armed and/or wanted fugitives? Well we're both."
  • "You spin me right round, baby, right round..."
    • "Who is this guy?!"
  • Sosa twigs The A Team had given her the slip and discovers four soldiers imitating them, who thought she's a stripper and reveal they were given a case of beer and fifty bucks apiece. Except for a big Asian guy who was given a hundred for shaving his hair.
  • This exchange:
    Murdock: (to B.A. while playing with a pig hand puppet) Hello! My name is Percy! Would you like some pork?
    B.A.: ...If I broke every bone in your hand, could you still do that?