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- Anything Murdock does.
- Any time Face has to break Murdock out of the V.A., and any of the times Murdock breaks himself out.
- For being a big, tough bruiser, B.A. has a surprisingly high-pitched snicker, which we hear more than once.
- Hannibal in his monster costume daring the MP's to cross the Red Sea set. When it works, he turns the water back on.
- B.A. gets suspicious en route to the airport. Hannibal asserts they're nowhere near the airport — and is contradicted twice by the airplanes roaring by overhead.
- B.A. tries to punch Hannibal upon realizing what's going on, but keels over mid-blow. Amy says incredulously, "He hit you!" and Hannibal responds that B.A. didn't hit him.
Hannibal: If he'd hit me, I'd be in the hospital.
- While they're boarding the plane, Amy spots Lynch, who's also spotted them. She asks Hannibal "What's that?", and Hannibal replies, "That's nothing." Right. Having the army on your back is nothing.
- Amy asks why Face and Hannibal are binding B.A. after they get him on the plane. Hannibal's answer, delivered in a completely matter-of-fact tone: "So he doesn't kill us once he wakes up."
- Hannibal's way of informing Murdock that B.A. will soon be conscious and they need to get the plane down: "The sleeping giant awakes."
- The let-down look on Hannibal's face when his plan to get them arrested fails.
- Murdock completely exasperating the prison staff with a faked fixation: "I want TRAAASHBAAAGS! I want TRAAASHBAAAGS!"
- When the prison staff takes B.A. away for one of the death matches, one of the guards comments mockingly on Hannibal's expression, questioning why he looks like that.
Hannibal [high-pitched, delicate voice]: I hate violence. I just hate it.
- After escaping from jail in 'Bad Rock' and locking the sheriff in his own cells the A Team are forced to come back and release him in order to deal with a biker gang.
Sheriff: "You came back"Hannibal: "That's right."Sheriff: "Okay, I'll bite. Why?"Face: "You're supposed to count to a hundred and yell ready or not."
- Murdock doing a full-body chicken impression to lure the Barbarians into the trap.
- A garage attendant, who just complained about never getting to park any cars thanks to how cheap people are, knocks on the A-Team's van — and comes face to face with the annoyed B.A. The scared attendant meekly accepts his snappish answer that he doesn't want help parking the car.
- The end of the episode: Murdock attempting to "thumb a ride"— only he's attempting to flag down airplanes, not cars. When one airplane doesn't stop, he yells an insult after it.
Airport official: We've got a civilian on the runway...he seems to be trying to hitchhike.
- While they're posing as civilians to get intel on the bad guys, Hannibal gets punched and Face gets knocked into a basket (?) After the incident is over, one of the victims of the week examines Hannibal and finds that the guy who punched him broke a rib. Face asks if a doctor is out of the question. Hannibal responds that he'll go on without one...and Face looks at his little finger, which has a bit of blood, seemingly indicating that he wasn't talking about Hannibal's broken rib.
- One of the villains' mooks just happens to get in the cab Face is using while the team is getting ready for the showdown. What follows is an extremely bad day for said mook, as he gets taken along while Face returns to the showdown street, has Face lock the doors and blasely ignore his threats, and gets told when Face gets out that he'll probably be happier locked in the car for what's going to happen. The viewer sees the guy cringing during the ensuing firefight, and when the team escorts "East Side Charlie" and the other mooks to the cab, he gets out and runs away.
- This exchange:
Face [reads Murdock's list]: Are you nuts?Murdock: Absolutely and totally.Face: How am I gonna get all this stuff out here in the middle of nowhere?Murdock: Hey you always say you can get anything, anywhere, anytime.Face: Yeah, but I -Murdock: Think of it as a challenge. How did you get that '53 Cadillac convertible in the jungles of 'Nam?* Beat*Murdock: How did you get that '53 Cadillac convertible in the jungles of 'Nam?Face [smirks]: Professional secret.
- Face's entire conversation with Louanne during his priest scam from that same episode. His absolute adorkableness while pretending to be the priest is a major part of what makes this scene so funny. His expressions throughout are just priceless, as is his delivery. This bit in particular:
Face: You're such a sweet soul. So innocent, pretty...just like...Mary Anne.Louanne: Mary Anne? [Face nods] My name's Louanne.Face: Really?Louanne: Y'know I've always been kinda fascinated with priests because they aren't allowed...I mean, they don't...Face: Ah. But sometimes...they do.Louanne: Oh no...you and Mary Anne?Face: Sometimes the runner...stumbles.Louanne: Oh, Father, I'm truly sorry. What can I do to help?Face: Well...would you happen to have a gasoline engine?Louanne: Gasoline engine?Face: Y'know, for my power lawn mower.Louanne: You want a...power lawn mower?
- Also, this, from the beginning.
Face: Murdock, uh, what's gonna happen?Murdock: Looks like we gonna crash.Face: [laughs nervously]: C'mon, really, what's gonna happen?Murdock: It looks like we gonna crash...and die.
- Murdock flirting with himself in two different accents is absolutely hilarious.
B.A.: "You crashed the plane!"
- Face running into a tree and falling backwards in a wacky fashion.
- Let's face it, that whole episode is pretty much one big Crowning Moment of Funny.
- This conversation between Colonel Lynch and one of his M.P.'s at the beginning of the episode.
MP: Well, Colonel Lynch, chasing Hannibal Smith as much as we have, I've come to appreciate his sense of humor.Lynch: Sense of humor? You think that's funny then, Hannibal Smith working under the name of 'Lynch'?MP: Well I mean considering the fact that we've looked everywhere for him, and all this time he's working in the open under your very name.*Lynch glares at him** Beat*MP: Well, no, sir, I don't think that's funny.
- The army offers Hannibal, Face, and B.A. a Mercy Lead for rescuing one of their old commanders, B.A. isn't keen on taking it, railing repeatedly about how the general called him a liar and nobody calls B.A. Baracas a liar. It gets to where Hannibal has to stop him and say that he thinks he's made that point.
- Murdock helps a client escape her evil fiance by taking her place in the wedding. During his getaway, he stops to shake an elderly guest's hand:
Murdock: Thanks so much for coming to my wedding! I love your dress! [runs off, wedding dress and veil billowing out behind him]
- Even funnier is Murdock, still in the wedding dress, running after the catering truck that the rest of the team is using as a getaway vehicle, and Face leaning out the back of the truck, shouting, "Come to me, my precious!"
- And later in the episode, he writes the villain a letter of apology for leaving him at the altar.
- Also, Face's "wedding". Particularly B.A. having to give him one of his oversized rings to put on the bride's finger and the silly face B.A. makes for the wedding video.
- The A-Team dump Chris Thomas in front of the police station and speed away. Two officers notice him. Thomas tries to get away, but can only manage baby steps because the team tied his legs together.
- B.A., finally getting sick of Murdock's antics, chases him, gags him with a piece of tape, and turns his quirk-of-the-week around on him by saying he's the new private eye in town, who's got "The Maltese Fool".
- Murdock, under disguise as pilot Dick Nash, grabs a bottle from a villain's desk and breaks it open to drink from it. After that he realizes he doesn't like the flavor, and drops it altogether to the floor.
- When the villains figure out Murdock isn't Nash, they chase him...and promptly turn and run the other way when they see Hannibal, B.A., and Face running at them.
- Face complaining "Why does he always do this to me?" at realizing what Hannibal did.
- This exchange:
Murdock: The colonel really bends my mind out shape, you know?B.A.: If your mind was bent out of shape, it'd be straight, fool!
The Taxicab Wars
- Murdock becoming Captain Cab and Captain Cab's timid alter-ego, Dr. Vern, veterinarian, and also voicing Captain Cab's sidekick sassy sock-puppet dog, Socky.
- B.A. grabs Murdock's bag away and complains about how he's got a cape and mask in there. Hannibal says, "No cowl?"
Villain: "You're nuts!"Murdock: "No, I'm not, I'm condiments. I've been promoted."
- Murdock is fooling around with a ouija board the whole time. At the end, he goes into another "trance" and begins to intone "Decker is coming, Decker is coming...". BA is fed up and just as things are about to get ugly, they hear sirens. Cue incredulous expressions from everyone except Hannibal- whose face just screams Oh, Crap!.
- B.A. threatens to drop Murdock's radio if he turns it up one more time. Murdock says, "You wouldn't" — and B.A. does. The few seconds afterward, with Murdock complaining to Hannibal about it and Hannibal telling him to quiet down as he can't hear what's happening inside, are hilariously similar to a pair of siblings asking for intervention from a parent who's too busy to get involved at the moment.
- The ending. The job is wrapped up and Hannibal tells Face to take Murdock back to the V.A. Face begins complaining about how he picked Murdock up and how he doesn't want him acting like a dog in his Corvette...to absolutely no effect.
- When Hannibal sends Murdock to monitor Tawnia while she's attempting to slip the bug on Harnett, Face asks if they hadn't better send someone more "jelled" than "the Golden Age of Television" to keep watch over her.
- Colonel Decker is tricked into destroying his guest house on the Army base, thinking that Hannibal and the team are holed up inside. His irate reaction, "A JOKE??????!!!!!" after realizing he's been had is priceless.
Hannibal: "Are these the only guys in the van, Murdock?"Murdock: "Yes, sir. I checked for invisibles, but they didn't have any with them."
- B.A. using Murdock's quirk of the week -- pretending to be on television -- against him. Grabbing the remote, he notices that there's a volume control. The episode ends with B.A. turning the volume down until finally Murdock is squawking open-mouthed with no sound coming out.
- At the end, most of the group humors Murdock and says goodbye to the plant he's been doting on all episode...all except B.A., who passes it off as foolishness. Then, when all the others have piled into the van, he approaches the plant. Then he turns around for a moment and sees that everyone is looking at him. They quickly return to normal positions upon realizing they've been caught.
- The ending. Hannibal insists on continuing with their training, and he, Murdock, and B.A. jog off. Face waits until they're all some distance ahead of him, and, smiling smugly, climbs into the van, which Tawnia and Dr. Sullivan were supposed to drive back to town. As the van catches up with the others, he waves at B.A., who drags him out of the van.
- Face falls victim to Murdock's Bigfoot obsession as Murdock, who is rooming with him, first keeps him up half the night talking about it and then wakes him up at five in the morning blowing the Bigfoot call he brought along.
- As the team is about the leave, Murdock hears the jangling of one of his Bigfoot traps. The team runs over to see that he caught B.A., who hangs there yelling threats and demands to be released as the episode goes to the credits.
- Face interrupts Murdock's rambling about how great B.A. is and B.A. tells Face to leave Murdock alone, saying that he's a little odd but not so bad.
- Murdock's self-satisfied strut after running onto the field and "winning one for the Gipper".
- After Murdock has decided B.A. is not so great as he's been saying all episode, he gives him one of the funnier chew-outs ever given in the show, which leads to B.A. chasing him off the field as the episode goes to credits.
- Hannibal and Murdock using French accents for an entire scene just for the hell of it.
- A robber carjacks Murdock and demands he drive him somewhere in the van. Murdock warns him that stealing B.A.'s precious van is "like taking downtown Tokyo away from Godzilla."
- Murdock is taking inventory while the others are loading the boxes. He withstands both Hannibal's nudging and Face's offer to "switch jobs"...and then B.A. applies the threat of physical force and breaks his clipboard, sending Murdock scurrying to help with the boxes. Hannibal gives B.A. a congratulatory shoulder pat.
- At the beginning, Murdock, in character as a member of the B.B.D.W.G.O.H., is going on and happens to mention filing grievances. B.A. mentions he has a grievance to file: he doesn't like Murdock.
- During the funeral, Jack Lane goes up to spit in Hannibal's face...and gets a nasty surprise when the "deceased" sits up very much alive. The shock on his face is absolutely priceless.
- At the end, B.A. and Murdock inform Face, who started the whole incident by investing their money in a boxer, that they've arranged a match for him, otherwise known as "Dandy Dan Peckman."
- The whole scene with B.A. being forced into getting a suit.
- Hannibal chiding Face about falling for Decker's bait — a pretty girl.
Face: It could have happened to anyone.Hannibal: Yes, but it always happens to you!
Where Is The Monster When You Need Him?
- Murdock's 'pilot's prayer'.
Murdock: Oh God: the sky is so big and my plane is so crummy, please don't let me eat it.
- Face explaining that B.A. is there for ballast when someone asks him about the big guy on the plane.
- Mrs. Baracus puts Face in a very difficult position when she asks him if he agrees with her that a man shouldn't wear more jewelry than his mother, while B.A. (wearing all his gold as usual) is standing nearby.
- Hannibal and Murdock masquerading as an old, wheelchair-bound woman and her yo-yo obsessed son (respectively) threaten and then shoot up the office of The Dragon in that episode, without once breaking character. Those couple of minutes holds so much Crazy Awesome and complete hilarity as Hannibal plays the sweet and proper old lady (including the sweet and innocent look he holds while shooting up the office) and Murdock the doting son (who knocks out a couple of goons with his yo-yo for his mother as any good son should) has to be seen twice to be believed.
- The team encounters a Wire Dilemma, which B.A. barely manages to solve in time. Face asks if B.A. could take more time on the next occasion so he could have a heart attack and not have to worry about being blown up.
- While it may have been unintentional, there's something funny about Hannibal, whose name is "John Smith", saying that "nobody's named 'John Jones'" when voicing his suspicions that the guy is a CIA operative.
- Face gets one-upped by Murdock, who is still imitating him. Face does an extreme Murdock impression...whereupon the V.A. staff come in and, not recognizing that the crazy guy in the tiger jacket isn't Murdock, drag him away.
- B.A. yelling at Face to quit hogging the bathroom.
- The expression on one of the drug smugglers' faces when he wakes up after the fight with Murdock and B.A., tied to the others and with a sign around his head proclaiming his crime and advising the reader to arrest him.
- Murdock, trying to follow Blackburn, attempts to talk a kid into giving up his bike while simultaneously trying to shake off a dog that's got its teeth sunk into his pants leg. The kid declines, even when Murdock offers to buy the bike. So Murdock offers to throw in the dog, and it works.
- Face and Murdock's failed attempts to go on a double date.
- Murdock repeatedly telling Face, "You should've never answered that phone!" — particularly given that it was actually Murdock who answered the phone.
- At one point during a fight, Face gets into a Punch! Punch! Punch! Uh Oh... situation...and keeps hammering the guy's stomach even after it's become clear it's not doing any good.
- The Team have been captured and are facing a firing squad. Each has an Imagine Spot about ways to escape the situation. BA's is that Murdock flies in with a chopper ready to rescue him. But instead of pulling BA up right away, Murdock tries to get him to agree to more and more demands, like moving in with him. Eventually, BA jumps back down and tells the squad to go ahead and shoot.
- After the team is exposed to radiation:
Frankie: I wanted to have kids. Do you think we can still have kids, Murdock?Murdock: I don't think I know you well enough.
- These lines between B. A. And Murdock in the opening helicopter escape:
Baracus: YOU PANCAKED MY VAN!! IM'MA KILL YOU, FOOL!!!Murdock: You can't park there, it's a handicapped zone!
- Just about anything Murdock says counts as one right after another, but one particularly notable example is the German fisherman's wife.
- Speaking of the wife, her expression when her husband gets dunked is priceless.
- When the passports for Murdock and B.A. get mixed up, with B.A. getting the one saying he's a Rabbi while Murdock gets the one which says he's from Tanzania with the check-in clerk being from Tanzania himself. After a little stuttering, Murdock reveals he is able to speak in flawless Swahili and manages to convince the Tanzanian check-in clerk he is from Tanzania.
- Murdock's Braveheart impression.
- "So Satan walks into this bar..."
- Just before the tank:
Murdock: Don't worry boys! Turbulence has never brought down a plane!
[Reaper drones begin attack]
Murdock: We are currently being engaged by reaper drones... And they bring down planes all the time!
- EVERYTHING involving the "flying tank."
B.A.: Why are we in a falling tank?!
- B.A. is Not Happy.
Murdock: Because the plane exploded!
B.A.: What... What? When?!
Soldier: Are they trying to shoot down the other drone?
- After one of the Reapers manages to take out two of the parachutes, Hannibal and Face start firing the tank's cannon;
Sosa: No, they're trying to fly that tank.
Murdock: He's flying the tank!
- Actually, she's wrong; They're trying to do both. And they succeed.
B.A.: You can't fly a tank, fool!
- As the tank is falling, the camera does a close-up zoom on the "HOW'S MY DRIVING" bumper sticker on the back.
- Finally, they just happen to be above a lake where an old man in a boat is dynamite fishing while his wife critiques.
Old woman: It's not fair to the fish! You're cheating!
Old man: You with your nagging... You're chasing them away!
(tank hits water, capsizing boat)
Old woman: (giggles like a schoolgirl)
- Also, after about the fourth flying incident: Murdock says that drugging B.A. was Hannibal and Face's idea, but the food was Murdock's.
[Murdock injects B.A. just before getting onto a seaplane; B.A. promptly faceplants.]
Face: Murdock, what did we tell you? You have to...
Hannibal and Face together: catch him after you inject him.
Murdock: ... my bad.
- 'Toast points!'
- 'Why do I feel like I fell on my face?'
- 'Toast points!'
- "You're really, really tan."
- Murdock and the helicopter at the beginning of the movie. He exclaims in a British accent, "Oh, you gorgeous rustbucket! Did you miss your daddy?" and a few moments later is seen swinging on one of the blades singing, "You spin me right round, baby, right round...Rotors are good, sir!" That part alone was worth the ticket price.
- Murdock's...unique style of barbecueing steaks.
"It's only partial paralysis. Come on. Take it like a man!"
- After Murdock is broken out of a psychiatric hospital during a 3D movie:
"You guys should see this in 3D! It's like we're really getting shot at!"
- Hannibal saying "whoopsie" after he's just ran over Pike; something about the deadpan glee in Liam Neeson's voice is absolutely hysterical.
- "It's just like Call of Duty!"
- The scene where Lynch's flunky is completely screwing up his attempt to execute Pike. It gets to the point that Pike himself is giving him pointers, and for his last request, asks that someone else kill him because of how embarrassing it is. The entire scene is hilarious:
Pike: *As an agent pulls out a gun.* "Hey. What are you doing? In the car?"
Lynch: "Are we doing... Are we gonna do this in the car?"
Pike: "You doing this?"
Lynch: "He's gonna do it."
Pike: *Agent drops his silencer.* "Way to go. That's brilliant, right there. What are you doing? What is he doing?" *Agent puts his gun between his legs, barrel pointing up.* "Jesus."
Lynch: "How's it going, Kyle? You all right?"
Kyle: "I'm good."
Pike: "Brother, you are far from good. What are you doing?"
Kyle: *Screwing the silencer in the wrong direction.* "It's a European silencer."
Pike: "It's a suppressor. Counter-clockwise. You're holding a gun like that? You've held a gun like that before and you're still here? That's amazing." *Kyle points the gun at Pike's chest, putting the agent sitting on Pike's other side directly in the line of fire.* "Don't point that thing... Jesus. Final request, don't let this guy shoot me, please."
Lynch: "Okay, this was not well thought out."
Pike: "No shit. I mean, look at this. Am I to teach you how to kill me? Hey, do me a favor, all right? Put the barrel... Put the gun flush to my head."
Kyle: "Are you sure?" *He hesitantly puts the gun to Pike's head.*
Pike: "There you go, right there. Before you hurt somebody besides me." *He proceeds to disarm Kyle and hand his gun to the other agent. Lynch immediately points his own gun at Pike.* "There you go. We're okay. We're okay." *He reveals his open handcuffs.* "Never cuff a man in a seated position with his hands behind his back. Makes it impossible to see the hands."
Lynch: "That was cool."
Pike: "You like that?"
Lynch: "I like that. I like that a lot." *The other agent, Brad, gets a phone call and he answers it with the gun still in his hand. Lynch turns to Kyle.* "Are you all right, you idiot?"
Kyle: "Yeah. it was a good hit."
Lynch: "Please handcuff him."
Pike: "We don't need to use them again. We don't need the cuffs."
Lynch: "Who are you talking to?" *Brad has his left hand, the hand holding the gun, over his free ear so that he can hear what the phone is saying.* "Brad, phone or gun."
Lynch: "Phone or gun. Pick."
Pike: *The gun's barrel swings dangerously close to his head.* "Hey, hey."
- Face rolling down the hill, throwing up, and then making out with the hot wife of the guy he shouldn't have pissed off.
- Face claimed he was "saving" the lovely Mrs. Tuco. Hannibal and the rest ask him from what.
- Then, 8-1/2 years later, Face has pretty much taken over a federal prison in the six months he's been there, to the extent that the prison staff are all his friends, he is remodeling his cell to be a practical paradise, is managing to get some tail while locked up, and was a week away from his parole hearing when Hannibal busted him out against his will.
- "Gentlemen, are any of you armed and/or wanted fugitives? Well we're both."
- "You spin me right round, baby, right round..."
- "Who is this guy?!"
- Sosa twigs The A Team had given her the slip and discovers four soldiers imitating them, who thought she's a stripper and reveal they were given a case of beer and fifty bucks apiece. Except for a big Asian guy who was given a hundred for shaving his hair.
- This exchange:
Murdock: (to B.A. while playing with a pig hand puppet) Hello! My name is Percy! Would you like some pork?B.A.: ...If I broke every bone in your hand, could you still do that?