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Considering this is The Movie based on one of the funniest shows of all time, you’re gonna be here a while.


  • Due to the genuine innocence and From the Mouths of Babes quality of speech with which Stan says it, after Shelly tells the boys that she's in charge while they're grounded:
    Stan (awkwardly, wording carefully): Shelly, where's the... Clit... oris?
    Shelly: (simply takes chair and decks Stan with it)
  • Doubling as a Moment of Awesome: "Operation "Human Shield" my ass!"
    • And as Refuge in Audacity, that was just the name for the all-black platoon - the white platoon's plan was named "Operation Get-Behind-The-Darkies"
      • Taking it even further - the black platoon gets used to armor the tanks and planes as well, with soldiers literally strapped to the outside of the equipment.
    • Chef objecting to the General's blatantly racist plans:
    Chef: Have you ever heard of the Emancipation Proclamation?
    General: (Beat) I don't listen to hip-hop. (Chef gives a WTF face)
  • The long, awkward pause from Conan and the audience, and subsequent slap from Terrance, after Brooke Shields blurts out that she once farted on the set of The Blue Lagoon.
  • During the UN hearing where Canada pleads for the release of Terrance and Phillip, no one in the building can take them seriously because of how they pronounce "about" as "aboot".
  • Cartman randomly telling Kenny he hates him for no reason whatsoever.
  • The "German Scheisse Video" scene.
    Kyle: It's a lady getting pooed on!
    Stan: Is it Cartman's mom?
    Cartman: Oh, very funny.
    Kyle: Hey! It is Cartman's mom!
    • At the end of the video after Stan vomits:
      Stan: Dude, what the fuck is wrong with German people?!
    • And a bit later:
      Cartman: If you were in a German Scheisse video, you'd tell me, right?
      Beat
      Liane: Sure, hon.
  • "Kyle's Mom is a Bitch" is back, and this time Cartman goes all out in slandering Sheila however he can think of:
    • Before he begins singing, Kyle is vainly trying to stop him:
      Cartman: Weeeeell~!
      Kyle: Don't do it, Cartman!
      (Beat)
      Cartman: Weeeeell~!
      Kyle: I'm warning you!
      Cartman: Okay, okay! (walks off-screen)
      Kyle: I'm getting pretty sick of him calling my mom a—
      Cartman: (slides back into frame, startling Kyle) Weeeeell Kyle's mom's a bitch, she's a big fat bitch, she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world!
    • Soon Cartman has kicked off the song, prompting Kyle, a hair away from losing it, to deliver one of his angriest replies yet:
      Kyle: SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH, CARTMAN!
    • The other kids joining in, and eventually even Stan joining in on the song is already pretty funny. But even more hilarious is Cartman then going international with it, singing it in a variety of foreign languages with appropriate backup singers, culminating with him in Blackface singing it in an African tribal dialect.
    • When Kyle's mom actually appears, everyone immediately shuts up... except Cartman, who doesn't see her and continues singing all the way to the end, despite Stan's attempt to warn him. At the end, as pictured above, Cartman doesn't notice his mistake until it's too late:
      Cartman: (noticing everyone's shocked and worried facial expressions) What? (Turns around to see Kyle's mom right behind him) Aw, fuck.
  • When a transmission of Saddam Hussein was interfering with a military computer:
    General: (powers down the computer) It's fucking Windows 98! Get Bill Gates in here! (Bill Gates is summoned, escorted by soldiers) You told us Windows 98 will be faster, and more efficient with better access to the internet!
    Bill Gates: It is faster. Over five million- (shot)
  • "All the Baldwins are dead?!"
    • Plus, the scene where the Canadian army bombs the Baldwins and their mansion with a dozen planes and bombs. One surviving Baldwin shouts "Ha-ha! You missed me!", followed by one more plane coming in and bombing him.
    • "Hey Alec, you know what sucks about being a Baldwin?" "No, what?" "Nothing! Ha-ha!" [Cue carpet bombing]
    • (Answers phone) "Baldwin residence. No, this is Billy Baldwin. If you want Daniel Baldwin, call his extension! Stupid!"
  • "Donkey-raping shit-eater", from baby Ike.
  • The scene after the entire class have seen the Terrance & Phillip Movie is raw, unadulterated humor at its purest and most unrefined:
    Kyle: (Raising his hand) I think I know the answer, Mr. Garrison.
    Cartman: (making funny noises, mocking Kyle's voice)
    Kyle: Shut up, fat boy!
    Cartman: Hey! Don't call me fat, you fuckin' Jew!
    Mr. Garrison: Eric! Did you just say the F-word?!
    Cartman: (bluntly) Jew?
    Kyle: No, he's talking 'bout "fuck". You can't say "fuck" in school, you fucking fatass!
    Mr. Garrison: Kyle!
    Cartman: Why the fuck not?!
    Mr. Garrison: Eric!
    Stan: (Points at Cartman) Dude, you just said "fuck" again!
    Mr. Garrison: Stanley!
    Kenny: (muffled) Fuck.
    Mr. Garrison: Kenny!
    Cartman: What's the big deal? It doesn't hurt anybody. Fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck!
    Mr. Garrison: How would you like to go see the school counselor?
    Cartman: How would you like to suck my balls?
    (Whole class gasps in shock...)
    Mr. Garrison: WHAT DID YOU SAY?!
    Cartman: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. What I said was... (Picks up a megaphone) HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS, Mr. Garrison?
    (Mr. Garrison ends up speechless...)
    Stan: Holy shit, dude.
    • Don't forget about the brief but glorious scene before where the entire class sings: "Shut your fuckin' face, uncle fucka!"
  • This gem...
    Cartman: Kyle, all those times I said you were a big, dumb Jew, I didn't mean it. You're not a Jew.
    Kyle: Yes I am. I am a Jew, Cartman!
    Cartman: No, no, Kyle, don't be so hard on yourself.
    • And the one that follows immediately after...
      Cartman: (notices Mr. Hat in his hand) The hell am I still holding this for? (tosses Mr. Hat back into said warzone)
      Mr. Garrison: (in the distance) MR. HAT! NOOOO!
  • And speaking of Mr. Garrison, this other gem...
    Sheila: Throw the switch, Mr. Garrison!
    Mr. Garrison: Hey, I'm supposed to be anonymous. (shows Garrison and Mr. Hat in black masks)
  • "Did you hear that? Sounds like a giraffe is dying over there!"
  • This piece of art...
    Mr. Mackey: (over the intercom) All children wearing Terrence and Phillip t-shirts must be sent home immediately.
    Students: (beat) HOORAY!
  • After Kenny's Meat Grinder Surgery.
    Doctor: We accidentally replaced your heart with a baked potato. You have about three seconds to live.
    Kenny: WHAT!? (intestines explode and splats all over the boys)
    Cartman: Aw fucking weak, dude!
    Doctor: DAMMIT! IT NEVER! GETS! ANY! EASIER! (pause, then walks off, whistling nonchalantly)
  • The Mole has the boys take inventory:
    Mole: Did you bring the mirror?
    Stan: Got it!
    Mole: And the rope?
    Stan: Check!
    Mole: And the butfor?
    Mole [intense serious tone]: For pooping, silly.
  • In a case of Mood Whiplash, after the sad duet between Kyle and the Mole ending with the latter's death, Kyle suddenly spouts "SHIT!".
  • When Mr. Mackey shows the moms the phrases the boys were using.
    Sheila: What the heck is a rimjob?!
    Liane: (nonchalantly) Well, that's when you put your legs behind your head and have someone lick your ass. (long pause, with Sheila giving her an annoyed glare)
    • Afterward when the boys are questioned about where they learned the words.
    Stan: We can't tell you, we all made a secret oath and threw ourselves into secrecy.
    Cartman: It was the Terrence and Phillip movie.
    Stan: DUDE!
    Cartman: What? Fuck you guys, I want to get out of here.
    • And even earlier:
    Stan: We heard them from Mr. Garrison a few times before.
    Mr. Mackey: Boys, I seriously doubt that Mr. Garrison ever said, uh... (awkwardly, carefully wording) "Eat penguin shit, you ass-spelunker."
    • What makes this funnier is that this is exactly the kind of thing Mr. Garrison would say.
  • When Stan and Kyle lead the crowd of soldiers into excitedly chanting for an encore from Big Gay Al in order to stall Terrance and Phillip's execution:
    Big Gay Al: Well, I do have a little song I wrote about the war; oh, but we haven't rehearsed.
    Stan: SING IT!
    Soldiers: Yeah, sing it!
    Big Gay Al: Oh, I can't!
    Kyle: [offscreen] SING THE FUCKING SONG!
    • Big Gay Al pulling the whole "We haven't rehearsed" bit, then breaking into a fully-choreographed, completely diagetic (as in literally happening in the universe of the film) number with complex effects and synchronized backup dancers.
  • Cartman's V-Chip, designed to shock him every time he utters something profane. He ultimately doesn't learn (when the doctor proclaims "the child doesn't want to swear", Eric does, he is resentful of the multiple electric shocks)
    • The doctor tests the chip out by having Cartman say different words. The jump comes from "pillow" to "horsefucker".
      Cartman: Horsefuck—(ZAP) AGH! YI!
      (the audience gasps)
      Cartman: That hurt, Goddamn i—(ZAP) AUGH! Ow! Fuck! (ZAP) Hey!
    • When Kyle is informed about the V-Chip:
    Cartman: Hey dudes.
    Stan: What's the matter, Cartman?
    Cartman: It's this V-Chip, I hate it. I can't say any dirty words.
    Kyle: Really? So you can't say "fuck"?
    Cartman: No.
    Kyle: And you can't say "shit"?
    Cartman: Nope.
    Kyle: So you can't say, "I'm Eric Cartman, the fattest fucking piece of shit in the world"?
    Cartman: FUCK YOU! (ZAP)
    • Even attempts to get around it end poorly...
    Kyle: You're late, Cartman!
    Cartman: I had to ride my bike here; my behind is killing me.
    Kyle: (stunned) ...your behind?
    Cartman: I have to say "behind" cuz I get shocked if I say ass—(ZAP)
    Fuck, shit, cock, ass, titties, boner, bitch, muff, pussy, cunt, butthole, Barbra Streisand!
  • After viewing the Terrance and Philip Movie for the first time, Cartman gives us this:
    Cartman: Yes, yes. I saw the Terrance and Philip Movie. Who wants to touch me? (Beat) I SAID WHO WANTS TO FUCKING TOUCH ME?!
    Butters: (while touching Cartman's arm) Ooh...
  • The severe case of Mood Whiplash when Kenny dies:
    Singer: Head so full of wonder, worries in the past... could it be, you are free at last? (ACCESS DENIED) No!
    (cue a shocked Kenny descending to Hell)
    • As Kenny plunges towards Hell, we see a sign with the population of Heaven, about 1,656 people. Hell, meanwhile, has several billion inhabitants, with a constantly moving counter.
    • As he falls through the inferno, Kenny passes by a group of damned souls, including Adolf Hitler, George Burns, and Mahatma Gandhi. The show itself later explains that only Mormons are allowed in Heaven.
  • Cartman's solution to Kenny being on fire is hitting him with a stick.
    Cartman: Ow! This stick is on fire!
  • During the split screenshot of the various parties at the end of "La Resistance", Satan actually gives an Aside Glance to the other parties while holding his high note.
  • During "Mountain Town", Stan's ironic line about the villagers.
    Stan (singing) All the happy people stop to say hello.
    Passerby: (runs past Stan) Get outta my way!
  • Once the "La Resistance" number concludes, Butters randomly falls down while holding the organization flag.
  • Saddam teases Satan in bed with two realistic-looking dildos, prompting a disgusted reaction.
    Saddam: Hey Satan... (flashes a dildo around in bed as though it's his real penis)
    Satan: AGH! That's not appropriate!
    Saddam: I'm just fuckin' with you, it's not real.
  • Speaking of Saddam, in Real Life, during his time in prison, the guards massively Trolled him by replaying the scenes of him as Satan's lover from this movie over, and over, and over, and over again.
  • This exchange between Sheila and Terrence and Phillip during their live execution
    Sheila: Gentlemen, do you have any last words?
    Terrence: Last words? Let's see, how's about "GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS CHAIR!", how's that for last words?!

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