What Could Have Been / South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

• The film was originally going to open with Saddam getting executed on an electric chair in a gory manner. It got scrapped, but his line "Last words? Let's see, how about, 'GET ME THE FUCK OFF OF THIS CHAIR!'? How's that for last words?" was spoken by Phillip in the final film.
• There was originally going to be a music video made for "Eyes of a Child" where Michael McDonald would be walking on a beach while film clips were projected on a white sheet, but the studio nixed it.
• Ike was originally going to follow the boys to the battlefield, as seen in early trailer footage and promotional screencaps of the film. His role was truncated and he was removed from all later scenes, with the post-credits attic scene being added in to explain his absence.
• There were a few things which had to be changed to not make it into an NC-17 rating:
  • The scene with Winona Ryder was originally going to have her really shoot the ping-pong balls from her vagina, it was changed to a Bait-and-Switch joke.
  • The song "Uncle Fucka" was originally plain old "Motherfucker", but again to avoid an NC-17 and secure the R rating, the song was changed. Trey and Matt admitted the change made the song funnier.
• In an early version of the script, Sheila was portrayed a lot less sympathetic. In the eighth draft, it is clear that the power of leading M.A.C. went to her head and made her insane to the point where after discovering Ike, Cartman and Kyle were at the USO show, General Plymkin thinks they are "Canadian Sympathizers" and wanted them executed along side with Terrance and Phillip and apparently she and Liane were okay with it while Sharon and Carol (Stan and Kenny's mothers) are shocked. After the war began, she went on a insane rant about how perfect her plan is to eliminate "not pretty things" and among other things admitted that Kyle wasn't born in a hospital (later confirmed in "It's a Jersey Thing"). That and she mistook Satan for Alan Dershowitz. This aspect of Sheila's was dropped from the as it seemed to be very uncharacteristic of her and to make her more sympathetic as she saw what the war lead to.
• Also, the town of South Park was going to be turned into a concentration camp, with Kyle even being issued with a yellow star for "doing well at school". While the army does occupy the town, nothing like that happens in the final film.
• The German scat porn scene with Liane was originally meant to be a (much shorter) bestiality scene involving a horse. The studio objected despite not being able to see anything on the computer screen. Strangely enough in the finished film, one of the words Cartman said that activated the V-Chip was "horsefucker" and it does show a small image of a man having sex with a horse.
• Conan O'Brien originally killed himself via gunshot to the head, but the MPAA rejected the scene on the basis of gun violence since Columbine two months earlier and it was switched out with the scene of him jumping and falling to his death.
• Originally instead of just Mr. Garrison dying during the war, all of the recurring adult male characters aside from Chef were supposed to have onscreen death scenes (that were filled with punny wordplay).
• A subplot in earlier drafts involved Cheesy Poofs being revealed as Canadian and therefore banned, much to Cartman's annoyance.
• Kenny was originally given a subplot where he'd have to try to find Snacky S'mores proofs of purchase in order to get a wish granted. In the end, his ghost pressures Cartman to give him some. He then uses them to wish everyone else back to life. In the final product, Satan lets Kenny get a wish granted due to helping him realize that Saddam was a bad partner.
• According to composer Marc Shaiman, Sheila's Villain Song was the hardest to write, as over four different songs were written and abandoned. One of them was to have been a dark, sinister Disney Acid Sequence that included a scene where she would scale up a la Maleficent, which was abandoned when he and Trey realized that they didn't want to completely demonize concerned parents, and they came up with a march tune that became "Blame Canada".
• Although Terrance gets stabbed by Sheila in the early draft (spilling his blood and releasing Satan), neither he nor Phillip actually die.
• Wendy was going to see Asses of Fire with Stan and the rest of the class, albeit remaining bored throughout, eventually resulting in her breaking up with Stan due to not having anything in common with him anymore.
• Trey was convinced that the film would be a major flop and made it as a last hurrah for the series, which is why the ending plays out very much like a Grand Finale and the original theatrical poster features every single character who'd appeared on the show up until that point. Obviously, it didn't bomb.
• Anne Murray was invited to sing "Blame Canada" at the Oscars (and wanted to do so as Self-Deprecation), but had to decline due to pre-existing commitments.
• Originally, Damien Thorn was to play as a supporting character, but the idea was ultimately scrapped.
• In the eighth draft, Kenny was never going to originally show his face, and was going to disappear with Satan and his minions. This was changed, and we got to see Kenny's face. The script still showed that Kenny was going to wake up and only show his hair from the back as he gets dressed.
• Originally, Mrs. McCormick started selling t-shirts of Kenny after he died, and later, mentioned in the eighth draft, she starts counting all the money she made from selling shirts.
• The classroom scene was different in the eighth draft:
  • Instead of learning math problems, Mr. Garrison would've taught about the environment. This would've led to a different scene of Cartman saying the f-word ("I fucking hate it.")
  • Cartman originally said "How would you like to gargle rat jizz?". The final film has him say "How would you like to suck my balls?"
• In the scene that follows, the boys were sent to Principal Victoria's office (the final film has them in Mr. Mackey's office), and Shelia takes note of that the boys used "fisting" as a curse word (the final film uses "rimjob"; both feature scenes of Liane describing the actions).
• Wendy's Precision F-Strike at the end of the film was supposed to be a Call-Back to Cartman saying the same thing about Gregory while once again mixing up British and French people. However, the line that it was referencing was changed to, "You're a fucking faggot, dude."
• During the newscast, there was supposed to be a second clip of children, in which some kids swear at a clown, with one of them calling his pants "gay". This scene was removed, and in the final movie, the word is instead used in Mr. Garrison's classroom shortly before the school assembly. On a related note, said classroom scene originally had the math problem dialogue with Mr. Garrison insulting Clyde, but that dialogue was moved to the aforementioned "swearing in class" scene earlier in the movie.
• Also in the newscast scene, the eighth draft script refers to the "Midget in a Bikini" as being quadriplegic, meaning that it was either a different character or he suffered a severe injury.
• The Mole originally debuted at Gregory's "La Resistance" meeting, digging up through the floor to get in.
• In the finished product, Stan suddenly winds up face-down in a puddle after being thrown by an explosion. Earlier drafts show that he ran after the explosion and got lost in a forest, before he'd trip and fall. This was likely cut for time purposes.
• In the eighth draft, Kyle’s introductory scene was originally going to be slightly more different than it is in the finished product, with him getting mad at Ike for wanting to go along with his friends to watch "Asses of Fire" instead of kicking him through the window, his first interaction with Sheila was changed as well from Kyle simply getting mad to him just saying to his mom that Ike wasn’t his real brother.
• In the eighth draft, there was going to be a scene where Kyle fiercely protects Ike from a group of xenophobic fifth graders that ended up getting scrapped for unknown reasons.
• Earlier drafts had an opening song about going to the movies, which was replaced with "Mountain Town". Also, the film would have ended with a finale version of "Wendy's Song", which would be followed by everyone joining hands and singing "Uncle Fucka". These two reprises were removed and replaced with a reprise of "Mountain Town".
• The eighth draft features Stan and Kyle telling their moms that they shouldn't care when kids experiment with profanity. This message was removed from the final movie.