Funny / Resident Evil 7: Biohazard

You might just end up with a Slasher Smile of your very own when reviewing the moments on this page.

As a Moments subpage, all spoilers are unmarked as per policy. You Have Been Warned.

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The Sewer Gators

• Peter is hilarious in his short time on-screen, being a prick of ENORMOUS levels. From the beginning where he lets Clancy know he's fired seconds after turning off the camera to insulting everyone and everything about the shoot while continually complaining about how he used to be an anchorman. His best friend Andre's response?
  Andre: "Weekend sub, Pete. Not anchor."
  Pete: "Whassat?"
• Andre is a Deadpan Snarker as well as we see with the above line. His explanation of the Baker's history is hilariously understated, basically just casually mentioning their son was a psychopath and foul play was expected.
  "The usual."
• The DLC Banned Footage levels have their own quirks as well. Clancy is clearly terrified throughout the whole thing if you play Nightmare:
  "OK, I want to go home."
  "When I'm done, I'm gonna burn this fucking house down."
  • When he encounters Jack Baker again:
    "Wait. Wait! I killed you!!"
• It's as pitch-dark Black Comedy as everything else going on during the section of 21 in question, but when Lucas starts openly puppeteering Hoffman's body as a taunting excuse to force Clancy into a third round, Clancy's reaction sounds as much panicked as it does absolutely bewildered.
  Clancy: WHAT THE FUCK — IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
• In the trailer for Not a Hero and End of Zoe, Peter briefly plays Audience Surrogate when he wonders why Chris is working for Umbrella despite the company gone under for years. Near the end, he suggests to pick up Not a Hero then pauses.
  Peter: Are we doing fucking commercials now?

Ethan Winters

• Ethan's reaction to the police officer giving him a pocket knife early on in the story. It pretty much channels every Resident Evil veteran's thoughts on the weapon:
  A fucking Pocket Knife!?
• Ethan says what every player was thinking when solving a shadow-based puzzle that opens a door.
  Who builds this shit?
  • Later on in the game, Ethan finds a receipt addressed to Lucas confirming that he built it. Or, at the very least, installed it - the receipt specifically lists "shadow-activated doorway" as one of the purchases. The fact that Lucas somehow bought pre-fabricated shadow puzzles in the middle of nowhere in Louisiana is a chuckle-worthy thought.
• Somewhat meta, but the fandom has joked about Chris Redfield's appearance in RE 5 and RE 6 being so comically muscular that he must have been taking steroids. In this game, you actually can use steroids to permanently increase your strength and maximum health.
• The name of the weapon you use to kill the Final Boss? The Albert. As in, Albert Wesker. And the weapon's function involves complete. Bodily. Saturation of the enemy with a substance that causes it to become petrified and die.
  • And of all the people to throw it to you, it's Chris Redfield. One wonders if he appreciates the irony.
• Ethan's response when Chris Redfield finally shows up to rescue him (and Mia, if she survived) and clean up the fallout from Eveline's escape?
  Ethan: The fuck took you guys so long?
  • Ethan's sass is very much warranted here. In a meta sense, it's as though he said that, because being aware that he's the new guy, he'd believe this is all way over his head. The RE series' vets such as Chris, Jill, Claire, and Leon are usually at the forefront from the start for these sorts of incidents, so where the hell were they?! Then, after this long nightmarish ordeal, here comes Chris, showing up right at the end in a helicopter just as Eveline went One-Winged Angel, erupts out of the house, and started brutalizing Ethan!
• Ethan Must Die Mode. This mode is essentially Capcom's love letter to Dark Souls. You play as Ethan in a twisted dimension and must complete objectives as you progress. The catch? You can die in one hit and items are completely randomized. You can even find item crates outside of the entrance to the house, containing things like first aid sprays, guns without ammo, ammo without a gun, or the crate could actually be a bomb and kill you.
  • Speaking of which, if you are lucky, you can wait until your enemies ''get gunned down by automatic turrets''. Yes, that is possible.
• Ethan's response to Marguerite turning into a human spider abomination and scampering off down a tunnel?
  Ethan: Well. That's special.
• Fighting Jack's final form. Ethan is fed up, and who can blame him?
  Ethan: This is getting old, Jack!

Mia

• The fight against Mia in the guest house is Black Comedy at its finest. Namely, after Ethan knocks her out with the axe. Mia gets up and tells Ethan that she knows why he had to fight back. Mia then proceeds to throw Ethan against a wall then stabs his hand with a screwdriver then caps it off with this:
  Mia: I know you didn't mean to hurt me. But you SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT! It FUCKING HURT!

Jack

• On one occasion while dealing with the jury-rigged sentry guns around the house, Jack may stumble into one by mistake offscreen and get shot to shit by it.
• All of the Boss Fights against Jack Baker have their moments.
  • When Jack taunts you for running out of ammunition on your current gun, you can quickly switch to another and point it at him. He will give a little surprised gasp if you do.
  • The fight in the Garage thanks to Jack's dialog in it...especially when Ethan's poor, poor, car gets involved. To wit, Jack will pull Ethan out of his car and then perform donuts with it all the while trash talking Ethan and sounding like he's having the time of his life.
    • It gets even crazier if you fail to get inside the car in time: Jack will rip the roof off of the car, and start driving it around, whooping and shouting while having the time of his life. He then proceeds to do some sick BURNOUTS in the garage.
    • Even better, if you successfully keep him out of the car, you can repeatedly run him over with it, while treated to the sight of Jack tumbling off the hood repeatedly. Hitting him enough will result in him somehow getting on anyway, ripping off the roof, and fucking with your steering before driving the car into some outward-pointing steel struts, resulting in the darkest Shoutouts to one of Capcom's own famous franchises.
      Jack: Aw, yeah! I'm gonna take you for a ride!
    • Just before that, Jack spouts a groan-worthy pun.
      Jack (about to ram Ethan through an I-beam): "Let's finish this, you and I!"
  • The fight in the Dissection Room is both terrifying and completely hilarious, starting right from the first phase, which you can choose to complete by essentially Trolling Jack until he Rage Quits. Nothing says pestering your opponent like repeatedly smacking body bags in his face until he's so fed up he breaks his own weapon out of sheer frustration. Then in phase two, Jack gets out his massive chainsaw shears.
    Jack: Groovy!
    Ethan: That's not groovy!
  • Jack and Ethan then proceed to have a protracted chainsaw duel straight out of Gears of War or the end of ObsCure II. It's just as funny and amazing as it sounds.
  • And to put a cherry on the top, Jack's pants get up and try to walk away from the fight, despite missing Jack's upper half. Granted, they don't get very far but it's equally hilarious as disturbing and a perfect end to the encounter.
    Ethan: Do me a favor and stay dead.
  • Even during the final fight against him where he's become a full-on Tragic Villain One-Winged Angel, he still finds time to mock and taunt Ethan. It's even funnier because he keeps the same demonic voice filter he had for his previous Tear Jerker lines earlier in the fight.
  • When swinging at you, Jack can accidentally break furniture in the house. His reaction is pretty funny.
    Jack: God damn it! How am I gonna replace this?
  • Jack can also catch himself saying something that might get him in trouble with the missus.
    Jack: I'm gonna squash you like a bug! Heh, I hope Marguerite didn't hear that.
  • What's even funnier? Considering that they both are part of the Mold's Hive Mind, she most likely did.
  • Jack's massive Molded form near the end of the game recycles some of the dialogue he uses in prior boss fights. This sometimes results in funny juxtapositions, like a huge hulking abomination with too many eyeballs going "I'm gonna getcha! I——'m gonna getcha!" in a sing-song voice.
• A little post-it-note in the main house's kitchen is worth a giggle:
  WHERE'S MY MOWER?!
  Has anybody seen my leg?
  • Becomes worth another giggle when you actually do find the mower: It has somehow ended up down the pantry hatch.
• Jack's 55th Birthday is silly. Everything from the jaunty music, to Jack wearing a party hat and a clown nose, to the Molded wearing all sorts of various hats, is a welcome change of pace from the usual doom and gloom surrounding the game.
  • If you give him the wrong food he will spit it out in an incredibly hilarious manner.
• Infinite ammo + Albert-01R = Hilarity Ensues.
  Jack: (After waking up from being shot repeatedly) Stop it!!
• The freshly-infected Jack's explanation for trying to drown his wife in the Daughters DLC is darkly hilarious. "Don't you worry. It's a whole lot worse than it looks. Cleanliness is next to godliness and your mother's pretty fucking close to meeting him right now."

Marguerite

• Marguerite's complete Villainous Breakdown when you simply refuse to eat the supper she's prepared for you. It's a sight to behold. The first time you sneak out onto the second floor balcony, you can look down to see her searching for you in the backyard, and she's still pissing and moaning about it out there.
• Speaking of Marguerite, there's a section of a second how where she looks out for Ethan. She'll cackle and when she thinks she's found Ethan, she goes "Aha! Damn!"
• Her rants are absolutely hilarious when you play the game in Japanese.
• If you don't escape by a certain time as Clancy in the Bedroom DLC scenario, at some point, Marguerite and Jack will get into an argument over whether or not to get rid of Clancy outside the door, after which Marguerite will storm in and repeatedly stab Clancy in a rage. Immediately afterwards, Jack will come in and apologize for upsetting her, and the two will affectionately make up and leave the room together. It'd be kind of cute if it wasn't for the fact that they do it all with Clancy gasping and bleeding out in the background.
  • Her punishment for finding out that you've been out of bed is to vomit carnivorous insects at you with all the urgency of a slapping a ruler across your hand.
  • Another Bedroom moment: taking a particularly loud action while searching the room can result in Marguerite asking if Lucas is the one making noise on her way to check back on Clancy. If this happens and you've forgotten to put anything in the room back in its default state by the time she's back, you can have Clancy tell her that Lucas was the one messing with things... which she buys it without question, not taking five seconds before she switches into a suddenly mild "I'm not mad, just disappointed" tone and says to herself that she'd told her boy not to mess with Clancy "yet".
• In the Daughters tape, the point where she's infected and Jack comes in to defend Zoe has her deliver a particularly awkward line as she has bugs spewing out from her mouth.
  "KISS ME, LOVER!"

Lucas

• During your "dinner" with the Bakers, Lucas pelts Ethan with food, prompting Jack to flip out and saw his own son's arm off with a knife. Lucas's only reaction is to moan "Dammit, old man, not again!" His complaint becomes doubly hilarious when you realise Capcom might be subtly acknowledging this already happened in the game.
• Shortly after that cutscene, if you look around for a bit, you'll find an old picture of Lucas, and the following shows up in the subtitles:
  "You don't know him, but you get the feeling he's an asshole."
• When Lucas introduces the Bloated Molded to initiate a fight with Ethan.
  "BARN FIGHT!"
  • And then when you beat said Bloated Molded:
  "Fat man down! Fat man down!"
• When Ethan swears during Lucas' "birthday party":
  Lucas: "Laaaaanguage! There are children present in this building! Somewhere. I think. I ain't sure anymore."
  • Icing on the cake is that his first words after Ethan solves his puzzle are "Motherfucker! You're supposed to die!" as he drops some dynamite from the ceiling.
    • Some quite literal icing on the cake is that the note on the cake says "Happy Fucking Birthday".
• 21 might be one of the most horrific things in any Resident Evil, but Lucas using Hoffman's unconscious body like a puppet and badly impersonating him throughout the tail end of it is silly enough to take a lot of the edge off.
  Lucas: [Silly voice.] Duhhh, I'll stay!
• Virtually all of Lucas' attempts to Troll Ethan are a combination of Black Comedy and Crosses the Line Twice. Like when he kidnaps Mia:
  "Well don't just stand there, DO something!"
• The pendulum trap at the keypad-locked door is pretty funny if you end up falling for it, after the initial surprise wears off, helped by the fact that the moment comes shortly after a save point.
• When you consider both what a Manchild Lucas is and that it's generally assumed that he's the one responsible for the Burner and Grenade Launcher weapons, the map on the back of the schematic for the latter found in one of scorpion rooms becomes this what with how it looks like it was drawn in crayon, and the crow symbol on it to indicate that the grenade launcher is behind a crow door looks almost like it's wearing little rain boots.
• What does Lucas names his contact on his cell phone? "Fuckin' Company". Made even funnier by it being the very first shot of the Not a Hero DLC.
• Once Chris shuts off the power that also powers his computer, Lucas complains as he was about to send an e-mail. Then he turns around and has an Oh, Crap! moment when he sees a tired and pissed off Chris behind him, and bolts for the door. It's very satisfying after many hours of watching Lucas act like he's in control of everything.
  • Making it funnier, you can actually look at the e-mail once you get in the room;
    After it gets through, I'm outta hetw;j
• His "Fuck-You" list in the attic of the Daughters DLC is a laptop document of him complaining about frustrating moments in his life at home in a hilariously in-universe Wangst-y fashion.
• The lighthearted, jokey nature of the Jack's 55th Birthday DLC pulls Lucas's Cloud Cuckoolander nature to the front with none of the evil shenanigans when you find a couple of hint notes written by him in the Main House 1 stage's starting room. In which he babbles about how much he apparently likes cake, even pulling Why Don't You Marry It? on himself, and says that "watching a cake explode is hilarious". And details his shocked discovery that the main ingredient of his favorite dish that his mom makes... is garbage.
  I'm going to need some time to process this...

Zoe

• Zoe casually mentioning she might have the head of a D-series lying around the house when Ethan mentions they'd need it for the cure.
• In his first conversation with Zoe after defeating Marguerite, an unamused Ethan points out that Zoe didn't bother to warn him about her mother's Pest Controller powers. Zoe's response?
  Zoe: [Laughs softly.] Sorry.
• In the Daughters DLC, there's a post-it note written by Zoe and Lucas, bickering at each other like any other siblings do:
  'Lucas': Zoe: I thought I told you to keep your dirty hands off my laptop!
  'Zoe': Dum-Dum: Aw, you're just jealous of my hacker skills. This is what you get for using the same password for your phone and your computer, dipshit! :)

Chris

• Chris proves he's still his insane boulder-punching Determinator self early on when his immediate response to Veronica suggesting that he get an active bomb unstrapped from his arm is:
  Chris: There's no time.
• Even Chris' patience runs thin on Lucas:
  Chris: If you're gonna kill me, then kill me, but for the love of God, shut the fuck up!
• Chris' deadpan snarking is present in all its glory.
  Veronica: Infection is at critical mass.
  Chris: Tell me something I don't know.
  Veronica: You're going to have proceed with caution...extreme caution.
  Chris: Oh, well that's different. Like I haven't been since we got here.
  • And:
    Veronica: Kill that thing before your air tank gives out!
    Chris: Thanks for the advice.
• After killing Lucas, Chris has to prevent a data transfer from uploading. He does it by shooting the server the data is stored on.
  Veronica: Okay...that worked.
• There's something hilarious about the way Veronica keeps her calm and professional tone while referring to Lucas as a son of a bitch.

Joe

• The first document you can read in Joe's campaign is a journal entry written by him, located in his cabin. As if the cutscenes prior to reading it wasn't enough, it cements the fact that Joe is a straightforward and unfiltered Ragin' Cajun of a man. The entry is about how he defended himself against a Molded and who he believes was responsible for creating such a creature, but his own blunt wording made it funnier:
  That was no gator I saw today.
  
  Was out checking the lines when I saw I had
  one so I pulled it up. Instead it was some
  sludge-covered God knows what with huge
  teeth and claws. Tried to get at me so I
  punched the fucker's teeth in before it could.
  
  Never thought I'd see it with my own eyes.
  Goddamn government doing secret
  experiments on people and animals—
  no doubt about it.
  
  Explains those helicopters flying about recently.
  • The fact that he chose to punch out the Molded instead of getting a weapon. This is his default combat mechanic in his campaign. Despite how gross this is, Joe has no issue with ripping through and punching the hell out of these things with his bare hands. We've seen other playable characters throughout the RE franchise use melee attacks against B.O.Ws, but not to this extent.
  • Considering the world he lives in, Joe is right to blame this on experimentation. However, he has no context about how the Molded came to be, so it's funny hearing him jump to conclusions and blaming the "goddamn government" about it. It makes him sound like a conspiracy theorist.
• While Ethan uses herbs to heal himself, Joe eats worms, centipedes and crayfishes. He even has his own eating animation.
• While trying to manufacture a cure for Zoe, the computer stopped about 90%. Joe's response is to whack it several times and lo and behold, it finished.
• Joe's boss fight on the paddleboat has a few silly moments, including him using pro-wrestling moves on the boss and one of its attacks is an extremely telegraphed punch with arm-windmilling wind-up that looks like something from a Popeye cartoon.
• Joe encountering the Fat Molded.
  Joe: Out of the way, fat fuck!
• At one point in End of Zoe you have to wade through a narrow passage of swamp water. The water in front of you begins churning, and up comes... a large alligator plushie, which previously showed up in the Bakers' house. Well played, game.
• Near the end of the game, Joe gets a powered gauntlet called the AMG-78. It was originally designed to help with heavy lifting, but Joe instead uses it to supercharge his left-handed punches, even giving him some range via shockwaves at maximum charge. The setup makes Chris's Good Old Fisticuffs in Not a Hero look weak in comparison!

Other

• The "Nice Try" trophy might elicit a chuckle the first time you receive it after failing at a shadow puzzle - it's obtained by attempting to complete a puzzle with the wrong object for several seconds (after which the player is probably chuckling at their own stupidity).
• This Japanese launch trailer has the Baker parents dancing, Mia and Zoe waving, and Lucas complaining about redo takes that involve cutting his left arm.
• Attempting to use any other item on the VHS player at the beginning of the game will show text on the screen reading "That's not a videotape." As if the game itself is lightly scolding you.

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