Benedict: I've always thought about you! How you embarrassed me! How you humiliated me! How you destroyed my relationship with Muriel Finster! The only woman I ever loved! T.J.: That part still grosses me out, sir. Prickly: Shhhh!
Vince getting in line to board the bus to baseball camp, only to see the Ashleys in line, too.
Vince: Don't tell me you Ashleys are going to baseball camp!
Ashley T.: Eww, as if!
Ashley A.: Cheerleading camp is like, across the lake, duh!
Vince: I hope it's a big lake.
The scene where T.J. is upset about not having his friends around during the vacation, when the audience is introduced to Becky, who comes into the room right before going to work.
Becky: Bye Mom, bye Dad...bye T-jerk
Mrs. Detweiler: Now Becky, be nice to your brother. He's feeling a little S-A-D right now.
T.J.: I can spell, Mom.
The gang finding out that the villians weren't using a laser on the moon, but a tractor beam.
Mikey: You mean they're going to plow the moon's surface? Whatever shall they plant?
Spinelli: Not a tractor, you goomba; a tractor beam!
The kids at the wrestling camp's version of "Kumbaya"
Someone's wrestling, my lord, kumbaya/Heads are smashing, my lord, kumbaya/Bones are cracking, my lord, kumbaya...
The scene where they are hiding in the vent. Mikey lets out a burp so loud that not only does it shock everyone that hears it, it blows their cover too. What Benedict says sounds both funny and badass.
(beat) T.J.: Uh... Dad! Dad! (runs off to the garage, where Mr. Detweiler is working on his car) Mr. Detweiler: What is it, boy? T.J.: Those bad guys at the school have a laser beam, and they're lifting a safe, and—! Mr. Detweiler: T.J., did you run into the sliding glass door again? T.J.: No, but... (beat) Well, yeah, but... (beat) GAH! (runs off again) Mr. Detweiler: Come back! Your mom's gonna want to take your temperature!