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Funny: Recess

Examples from Recess: School's Out go here.

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    Season One 
The Break In
  • The end, when the diggers actually dig a hole to China. However, they end up in a Chinese kindergarten. One of the kindergarteners sees them, and repeats the line the kindergarteners from Third Street School said earlier, but in Chinese: "Let's eat 'em!"
  • When the gang need help breaking T.J. out of detention, they go to the Guru Kid for advice. He tells the gang to "consider the bumblebee", as when with "other bees, he becomes a swarm", saying that if they get more kids to help them, they can get T.J. out. Right after the gang leave, another kid comes up to Guru Kid, and asks him how he can get an A on his next spelling test. Guru Kid proceeds to give him the exact same advice.

The New Kid
  • Due to the "constitution of the playground", Gus, who just moved to town, has to be refered to as "new kid" until the school gets another new kid. Gus is upset about not having his name anymore, when Mikey comes and says this to try to make him feel better:
    Mikey: Don't worry, there are a lot of people without names. The Artist Formerly Known as Prince, the Unknown Soldier, and the other four guys in the Jackson Five.

The Experiment
  • Butch's over-the-top way of telling the gang about his brother kissing his girlfriend, and how they're going to end up enjoying it when they get older, to their horror. Kath Soucie even said that it was one of her favorite scenes to record.
    Butch: I have seen the future, AND IT IS GIRLS! Boys kissing girls, girls kissing boys! And you know what else? YOU'RE ALL GOING TO LIKE IT!
  • Spinelli's reaction to Butch's story:
    Spinelli: The day I stop caring about kickball is the day the Earth starts spinning 'round the sun!

Jinxed
  • While the kids are explaining the Kids' Unwritten Code of Honor to Gus, at one point they say, "It's what makes kids different from adults! Different from animals! What would we be without it?"
    Gus: Adult animals?

First Name Ashley
  • When Spinelli is forced to join the Ashleys in "First Name Ashley", they try to convert her by forcing her to watch a My Little Pony expy with her eyes taped open.

Big Brother Chad
  • Vince's nightmare about turning into a nerd.
    • "NEEEEEEAATOOO!!!!!!!!!"

My Fair Gretchen
  • Gretchen trying to fail her test so she can stay at Third Street School with her friends.
    Teacher: Who invented modern medicine?
    Gretchen: Dr. Seuss.
    Teacher: Who was the first person to make it to the North Pole?
    Gretchen: Santa Claus.
  • The beginning of the episode involves Miss Finster giving out an achievement test to the students, when Miss Grotke tells them not to worry about it, as it won't affect their grade. Miss Finster's reply is hilarious:
    Miss Finster: ...You're a wimp, you know that, Grotke?
  • When the kids are taking the test, Mikey is filling the bubbles in on his test to make it look like a smiley face.

I Will Kick No More Forever
  • Ashley Q. beating Vince in kickball...by kicking the ball all the way to Communist China.
    Chinese Man: NO GATHERING, NO GATHERING! This ball is property of the state!
  • Also, Ashley Q's general attitude while making the kick. She clearly isn't even interested and gets right back to talking on her cell-phone the moment she kicks it, not even noticing what an amazing thing she just did. It makes Vince's embarrassment at being outkicked by her even worse, but it's definitely funny.
  • Another moment from that same episode had Gretchen making a super bouncy kickball which they intended to have Vince kick in order for him to regain his confidence. Of course, it turns out the ball Vince kicked was a regular ball, which leads Gretchen to ask what happened to her super ball. It cuts to Mrs. Finster putting the ball on a shelf in the sports equipment room, only for the ball to start moving at super speed, causing all the other balls to start moving and leaving Finster trapped in a ball storm.

The Kid Came Back
  • The gang realize that every time Peanut Butter Kid follows them around, bad luck happens to them. In one of their drastic measures to get rid of him, they make a fake treasure map for him, saying that the treasure's all the way on the other side of town. The kid walks off with the map... and actually found treasure there.
  • Another way the gang try to get rid of him is by having Vince hitting a baseball to the kid, and having the kid go catch it. The kid comes back in traditional Chinese clothing with the ball.
  • T.J.'s rant on what would happen to them if the kid kept tagging along with them.
    T.J.: I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!
    Mikey: Calm down, T.J.!
    T.J.: Calm!? I can't keep calm! This kid is driving me NUTS! If we don't get rid of him soon, we're going to have bad luck for the rest of our lives! Oh, sure, at first it won't be so bad; a hit on the head here, a broken back there, but THAT'S JUST THE BEGINNING! Pretty soon we're going to get Fs in spelling and losing OUR FAVORITE COMIC BOOKS!
    Gus: NO!
    T.J.: Pretty soon before you know it, we'll be slackers in our twenties, clerking in a video store, and spending Saturday nights ordering pizza over the internet! And why? Because we can't get ONE LITTLE KID TO LEAVE US ALONE!
    • It's also one of the very, very few instances where T.J. loses his temper.

The Legend of Big Kid
  • T.J. joining the kindergarteners.
    • After he realizes that he's a fourth grader again, he breaks down in tears...and as a Freeze-Frame Bonus, look closely at the kindergarteners walking away; they have a hilarious creeped-out look on their faces.
  • T.J.'s reaction to the kindergarteners making him finger-paint.
    T.J.: Finger-painting? That's for kinder-
    Captain Sticky glares at him
    T.J.: Oh...heh heh...who's got yellow?

The Box
  • T.J. when he's been put in "the box" (a box drawn on the blacktop for a "time out"), and going through a Madness Mantra. it goes over into Crosses the Line Twice, but it's still kinda funny.
    T.J.: This old man, he played two...HEE-HEE-HEE-HEE-HEE! He played knick-knack on my shoe...
    • Which is nothing compared to Miss Finster's Villainous Breakdown when T.J. reveals he's not a blubbering mess anymore, to the point that even Randall is creeped out by it.

The Trial
  • After Mikey tells his side of the story, he begins crying the violence of the dirt clod war:
    Mikey: When will you people learn? WAR IS NOT A GAME!
    Kid #1: I thought it was a game.
    Kid #2: Yeah, a fun game!

Teachers Lounge
  • The kids imagining what the teacher's lounge is like. Especially the part where Miss Finster scores a basket, jumping 12 feet in the air and doing a 180.

Randall's Reform
  • Randall's attempt (Emphasis on "attempt") at an "I Just Want to Be You" speech.
    Randall: `Cause let me tell you something, T.J. Detweiler, I wish..I wish...I WISH I WAS YOU!
    T.J.: What? What are you talking about?
    Randall: Look at you! You're fat, you're ugly, you wear that filfthy jacket!
    T.J.: Okay, okay, that's enough!
    Randall: But yet, guys play with you! They laugh at your jokes! They want to be your friend! Look at me, T.J., I've got nothing.
    T.J.: Maybe that's because you're always snitching on everyone.
    Randall: You think?
  • When T.J. tells everyone that Randall might change now that he's joined their gang, and no one agrees. Spinelli delivers this hilarious line:
    Spinelli: And I really want to be a six-foot tall bodybuilder named Moe, but we happen to live in a place called reality.

The Voice
  • Mikey ends up with a crush on his music teacher, and proudly admits it to the rest of the gang. Gus's reaction is plain hilarious:
    Gus: She's old, really old. She's got to be at least 24!

Kids in the Mist
  • Dr. Quilty's breakdown after her unsuccessful attempts at trying to film the kids:
    T.J.: Hey lady, you okay?
    Dr. Quilty: Okay?! DO I LOOK OKAY?! I'M A LOSER! A FAILURE! All these years of studying children and reading about children and writing about children, I DON'T EVEN LIKE CHILDREN! No offense.
    Gretchen: None taken.
  • Gretchen begins to cackle madly while editing Dr. Quilty's video, then begins choking horribly, and feebly tells T.J. that she thinks she's swallowed her retainer.

    Season Two 
Mama's Girl
  • The episode opens with T.J. getting a C- on a book report.
    T.J.: C-? Hey, no fair, Miss Grotke!
    Miss Grotke: I'm sorry T.J., but 'A rollercoaster ride I couldn't put down' is not a book report. It's a cover blurb.
  • Spinelli is the subject of playground ridicule for calling the teacher "Mom". So Gretchen gets the idea to make everyone else do it by playing the words "Momma, Daddy" over and over again over the intercom...on an ultra-high speed.
    TJ: Sounds like Gerbils on helium.
    Mrs. Finster: What is that INFERNAL Racket?! The birds...they're up to something.
    Principal Prickly: Uh oh...the kindergarteners must have given helium to the gerbils again!!

Outcast Ashley
  • Gretchen and Ashley A.'s conversation on their way to school.
    Ashley A.: So the Earth, like, revolves around the sun?
    Gretchen: Exactly.
    Ashley A.: Hmm, that's strange. Daddy always said the world revolved around me!

Operation Field Trip
  • Spinelli having about all she can take with "This Old Man" non-stop on the bus.
    Spinelli: If I sing that one more time, I'M GONNA PLAY KNICK-KNACK ON SOMEBODY'S HEAD!

The Challenge
  • When Principal Prickly's older brother, also an elementary school principal, arrives at Third Street School, the first thing he notices is the flagpole, and how his is bigger.
  • Mikey's reaction to his doppelganger easily getting the kickball during the gang's game against their doppelgangers at 98th Street School.
    Mikey: Hey, no fair! That kid's really really big!

The Story of Whomps
  • "WHO THE HECK IS WHOMPY WHOMPERSON!?"

Bad Hair Day
  • Almost the entirety of the episode. After Mikey gets gum in his hair, T.J. volunteers to give him a haircut. However, he ends up cutting off most of his hair.
    Mikey: AAAAUUUGHH!!!
    T.J.: What's wrong?
    Mikey: YOU RUINED MY HAIR!
    T.J.: Uh-uh-uh, Mikey, you're getting awfully close to hurting Mr. Teej's feelings!
    • After that, they tell the other kids that a famous band has the same haircut, just so they can get their hair cut the same way.
  • And at the end of the episode, Spinelli and Gretchen come back to the school to find everyone with Mikey's ridiculous haircut, and start laughing hysterically.
    Gretchen: Your hair! It looks like crop circles!

Dance Lessons

The Beauty Contest
  • The Ashleys sign Spinelli up for a beauty pageant against her will, and the gang try to get her ready for it. One of these includes teaching her to walk in high heels...taught to her by Vince, no less.
    • The gang's "What the Hell?" expressions during the scene add to the hilarity.
  • "We're the girls who didn't win!"
    • "Thank you girls who didn't win, and there'll be a lot more of you once we announce the finalists!"

    Season Three 
Space Cadet
  • T.J.'s attempting to "train" Gretchen for going into space. One scene has her having to use the swing as a flight simulator, and she starts goofing off.
    Gretchen: Look at me, I'm Peter Pan!
    T.J.: For heaven sakes, Gretchen! You're an astronaut, not a cartoon character!

My Funny Valentines
  • T.J. drawing a realistic human heart on his Valentine's bag.

The Barnaby Boys
  • When the gang are investigating the substitute janitor, they run into an old plastic skeleton
    Gretchen: It's an old teaching skeleton!
  • The Reveal that Spinelli has not only read the Hardy Boys expy from the title but has apparently read more than TJ and Vince whose love of the books got the kids into the mess in the first place. How do we find out she reads them? She proves smart enough to call the police rather than be a Snooping Little Kid.

The Ratings Game
  • Singer Kid's song about the nines.

    Season Four 
The Spy Who Came In From the Playground
  • This exchange at the beginning:
    Ashley A: Miss Finster! Someone stole our precious Ashley flag and replaced it with...some kind of tent!
    Miss Finster looks through binoculars to see the "new flag"
    Miss Finster: My bloomers!

Recess Is Cancelled
  • Throughout the episode, all the students at Third Street are suffering from extreme mental exhaustion after going without recess and being subjected to several standardized tests. When Principal Prickly makes an announcement reinstating Recess, Gus has the most priceless reaction:
    Gus: Was that... God?

The Rules
  • King Bob writing his life story: "Chapter one: I was a baby when I was born..."
    • Anything King Bob says and does is hilarious, really, because he's a kid who takes his position as king of the playground REALLY seriously.

Prickly Is Leaving
  • In attempt to get Prickly to stay at Third Street instead of leaving for a Middle School, the gang tries to give Prickly a sample of the problems he will be facing all while Superintendent Skinner is there.
    Skinner: (To TJ, dressed as a punk) Hello, son! I notice you're not lined up with the other students!
    TJ: That's because I reject you, man! You, and everything you stand for!!
    Skinner: Well, that's fairly disturbing...
    Prickly: W-well that's just TJ Detweiler, sir! He's just joking around! (shoves TJ aside, brings Gretchen forward) Ahhh, here's the intelligent and courteous Gretchen Grundler! Say hello to the very important man, Gretchen!
    Gretchen: (dressed as a Goth) Greetings are depressing. Life is pointless. Leave me now to grapple with my own irrelevance as I confer to young adulthood...Man!
    Vince: (desperately grabs Prickly) I know I gotta make weight, but I can't live on Ginseng and egg whites forever!!
    Mikey: (Covered in zits) I'm breaking out!!! Yet another sock hop spent alone with my regrets...
    Gus: (blandly) I have father issues.
    Skinner: By Jove, Prickly! These are just the types of problems you'll be encountering in Middle School! It's the perfect opportunity for you to show off your one-on-one counseling skills.
    Prickly: Oh...well, certainly, sir! (To TJ) You, back off! (To Gretchen) You, cheer up! (To Vince) You, eat something! (To Mikey) You, cut back on the fried foods! (To Gus) You, mow the lawn!
    Spenelli: (Dressed up as a cute valley girl) You are so dreamy!
    Prickly: Ohhhhh! Get a hampster!
    Skinner: Prickly! What decisive handling on those children's strange problems!

Gus and Misdemeanors
  • Gus steals a bunch of gum in order to impress some kids and is immediately wracked with guilt. He begins imagining the gum everywhere, including when he looks at his pet snake. The snake's body morphs into the gum, and begins to harshly judge him for the theft.
    Snake: You stole Beany McGum!
    Gus: But it wasn't my fault-!
    Snake: NO EXCUSES!!!

A Science Fair to Remember
  • T.J.'s speech on why Gretchen shouldn't give up:
    T.J.: Did Albert Edison give up when they stole his theory of regularity? Did Benjamin Frankmin give up when the Germans shot down his kite!?
  • Every student did a unique volcano project for the science fair. Randall's happens to have the "lava" go over a playground full of children.

Mikey's Pants
  • After ripping his pants, Mikey tries looking for something that will cover the rip up so Miss Finster doesn't have to take him in to get them sewed and have him risk humiliation. So he sees Captain Sticky playing in a cardboard car, and trades his comb to use the car to cover the rip. Captain Sticky's response to the comb?:
    Captain Sticky: *Takes comb* Mommy use on me; now ME USE ON ENEMIES!

This Brain for Hire
  • T.J.'s excuse for not doing his homework
    (We see T.J. tearing up his paper with his mouth, then takes it out and gives it to Miss Grotke)
    Miss Grotke: Uh, T.J., this paper is moist.
    T.J.: Well you see, my dog, we call him Scrufster, saw it, and let's say that paper and saliva don't mix.
    T.J.: Oops.
  • Vince has a pretty hilarious excuse as well.
    Vince: My brother ate it!
    Miss Grotke: Eaten by a family member? That's a new one.
  • "Good evening, Mrs. Lawson. Is uh...is um...is Lawson at home?"

Nobody Doesn't Like T.J.
  • TJ spends the entirety of the episode trying to get Gordy to like him (because everyone else does) and fails. We get this at the end:
    Ms. Finster: Well, I hope you two troublemakers learned your lesson.
    T.J.: I sure did, Ms. Finster.
    Ms. Finster: Good.
    T.J.:: Yep. No matter what you do, not everyone's gonna like you.
    Ms. Finster: Blast you, Detweiler. Just because I give you a detention doesn't mean I don't like you.
    (T.J. does a facepalm)

A Great State Fair
  • Gelman, in response to "The Otter Dance":
    Gelman: "My old man don't believe in otters!"
  • T.J. attempting to bribe Miss Grotke to get Gus on the field trip (after his dad forgot to give him his permission slip):
    T.J.: Listen, Miss Grotke, Gus really wants to go on this field trip. So how about you reconsider with the help of my friends (Pulls out a penny and a quarter)...Abraham and George.
    Miss Grotke: T.J. DETWEILER!
    T.J.: Yes, that was wrong.
    • The fact that he's trying to bribe her with 26 cents makes it funnier.

The Secret Life of Grotke
  • The gang trying to see what Miss Grotke's up to, coming to the conclusion that she's a spy.
    T.J.: It all points to one thing: S-P-I.
    Gretchen: That's S-P-Y.

Soccer Boy
  • T.J.'s reaction to the reason why Vince's team can't lose the soccer tournament.
    Vince: And if we lose, Lawson's gonna make us look like a bunch of dummies!
  • Lawson naming his team "The Winning Guys"
  • Jordan giving one of the Diggers a yellow card after T.J. falls into a hole he dug during their game.

    Season Five 
The C Note
  • The scene where Randall pretends that he lost the $100 dollar bill the gang found. Unfortunately for him, they catch him.
    Gretchen: Can you tell us who's on the $100?
    Randall: Um...Senor Fusion?

The Army Navy Game
  • After Gus pushes down Fillmore for picking on Corn Chip Girl, Fillmore instantly starts bawling and this goes on for 2 more times in the episode.

    Season Six 
League of Randalls
  • Randall turns the Ashleys' brothers into snitches.
    Ashley A: You like turned our brothers into snitches?
    TJ, Vince, Gretchen, Gus, Spinelli and Mikey: Scandalous!

    Other 
  • The gag reel, which was given to the cast and crew during the show's wrap party (the party thrown after a show finished production) has so many of these (Basically, it's the recording bloopers, "What Could Have Been" moments, and other funny stuff recorded). Some funny lines:
    Pamela Segal (Spinelli's voice actress): Do you know at The Disney Store they have Gus and Gretchen, but they don't have f**king Spinelli? The f**k they have Gus for! note 
    • Ricky D`Shon Colins (Vince) trying to record the "We might not have a ball, but we have a rubber sack!" line, but can't take it seriously because of the Double Entendre.
      • Followed up by this:
        Paul Germain (Co-creator): You dirty, dirty kids.
        Courtland Mead (Gus): Not me!
        Jason Davis (Mikey): Kids this day and age, they take everything the wrong way!
    • And this:
      Miss Finster: AAAAUUUGHH!!!
      Allison (Assistant director): That's what Miss Finster sounds like when she's having sex!
ReBootFunny/Western AnimationThe Ren & Stimpy Show
Phineas and FerbFunny/DisneyRecess: School's Out

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