Funny: Pocahontas

The Disney film

  • From the first few minutes, after John rescues a crewmember - namely Thomas - on the maiden voyage to America:
    Crewmen #1: Well done, laddie! Well done!
    John: [swinging down from the mast inbetween the two crewmen] But of course. You'd have done the same thing for me.
    Crewmen #1, 2, and 3: [beat, then awkwardly] Oh, sure! Of course! Absolutely!
  • This little exchange:
    Ratcliffe: We shall give them a proper English greeting.
    Wiggins: OOH! Gift baskets!
    • "And he came so highly recommended."
      • An alternate scene has Wiggins saying, "Ooh! I do so love a fracas!" He mimics shooting a gun with a soup ladle, until he trips and an axe barely misses him, before Ratcliffe says the above line.
  • John Smith's first meeting with Grandmother Willow.
    John: Pocahontas, that tree is talking to me.
    Pocahontas: Then you should talk back. Say something.
    John: What do you say to a tree?
  • Most of Wiggins and Ratcliffe's dialogues, but this one in particular:
    Ratcliffe: Wiggins, why do you think those insolent heathens attacked us?
    Wiggins: Because we invaded their land and cut down their trees and dug up their earth?
  • Nakoma's reaction to Pocahontas jumping off a cliff. And when Pocahontas hits the water she grumpily says "show off".
    Nakoma: Pocahontas, your father's back! Come down here! [as Pocahontas dives off the top of the cliff] No ... not that ... way.
    [Then, when she can't find Pocahontas in the water]
    Nakoma: Pocahontas? Are you all right? Well you'd better be all right, because I'm not coming in after—(Pocahontas surfaces from the water and overturns the canoe)YOU-HOO-HOO!
    [cut to both of them under the canoe; Nakoma surfaces]
    Nakoma: Don't you think we're a -splut- little old for these games?
    [Pocahontas spits water in her face. They laugh and splash each other.]
  • Meeko when he jumps down the cliff after Pocahontas. He goes from confident to REALLY scared in a second and it's hilarious.
  • Meeko's expressions while Pocahontas is singing "Just Around the Riverbend", especially when she goes down the waterfall.
  • Meeko and Flit's reaction to Pocahontas suddenly managing to learn English.
  • Grandmother Willow's scene with John Smith.
    Grandmother Willow: [on John Smith] He has a good soul. And he's handsome, too.
    John: I like her.
  • This dialogue.
    Lon: Come on, Ben, it's just a little fun.
    Ben: Oh, sure, we're having loads of fun, right? Look at us—no gold, no food, while Ratcliffe sits up in his tent all day, happy as a clam.
    [Cut to Ratcliffe]
    Ratcliffe: I'm doomed!
  • And this dialogue between Ratcliffe, Ben, and Lon.
    Ratcliffe: You there, where's Captain Smith?
    Lon: Well, he's...gone.
    Ben: Aye, your singing must've scared him off.
    Ratcliffe: Well, then go get him, for heaven's sake!
    Lon: What if we run into the Indians?
    Ratcliffe: That's what guns are for! Now, arm yourselves and get moving!
  • This bit:
  • When John Smith is trying to show Pocahontas what a handshake is. He has his hand held out and the expression on her face as she says "Nothing's happening".