Funny / Pocahontas

The Disney film

  • From the first few minutes, after John rescues a crewmember - namely Thomas - on the maiden voyage to America:
    Crewmen #1: Well done, laddie! Well done!
    John: [swinging down from the mast inbetween the two crewmen] But of course. You'd have done the same thing for me.
    Crewmen #1, 2, and 3: [beat, then awkwardly] Oh, sure! Of course! Absolutely!
  • This little exchange:
    Ratcliffe: We shall give them a proper English greeting.
    Wiggins: OOH! Gift baskets!
    • "And he came so highly recommended."
      • An alternate scene has Wiggins saying, "Ooh! I do so love a fracas!" He mimics shooting a gun with a soup ladle, until he trips and an axe barely misses him, before Ratcliffe says the above line.
  • John Smith's first meeting with Grandmother Willow.
    John: Pocahontas, that tree is talking to me.
    Pocahontas: Then you should talk back. Say something.
    John: What do you say to a tree?
  • Most of Wiggins and Ratcliffe's dialogues, but this one in particular:
    Ratcliffe: Wiggins, why do you think those insolent heathens attacked us?
    Wiggins: Because we invaded their land and cut down their trees and dug up their earth?
  • Nakoma's reaction to Pocahontas jumping off a cliff. And when Pocahontas hits the water she grumpily says "show off".
    Nakoma: Pocahontas, your father's back! Come down here! [as Pocahontas dives off the top of the cliff] No ... not that ... way.
    [Then, when she can't find Pocahontas in the water]
    Nakoma: Pocahontas? Are you all right? Well, you'd better be all right, because I'm not coming in after—(Pocahontas surfaces from the water and overturns the canoe) YOU-HOO-HOO!
    [cut to both of them under the canoe; Nakoma surfaces]
    Nakoma: Don't you think we're a -splut- little old for these games?
    [Pocahontas spits water in her face. They laugh and splash each other.]
  • Meeko when he jumps down the cliff after Pocahontas. He goes from confident to REALLY scared in a second and it's hilarious.
  • Meeko's expressions while Pocahontas is singing "Just Around the Riverbend", especially when she goes down the waterfall.
  • Meeko and Flit's reaction to Pocahontas suddenly managing to learn English.
  • Grandmother Willow's scene with John Smith.
    Grandmother Willow: [on John Smith] He has a good soul. And he's handsome, too.
    John: I like her.
  • This dialogue.
    Lon: Come on, Ben, it's just a little fun.
    Ben: Oh, sure, we're having loads of fun, right? Look at us—no gold, no food, while Ratcliffe sits up in his tent all day, happy as a clam.
    [Cut to Ratcliffe]
    Ratcliffe: I'm doomed!
  • And this dialogue between Ratcliffe, Ben, and Lon.
    Ratcliffe: You there, where's Captain Smith?
    Lon: Well, he's...gone.
    Ben: Aye, your singing must've scared him off.
    Ratcliffe: Well, then go get him, for heaven's sake!
    Lon: What if we run into the Indians?
    Ratcliffe: That's what guns are for! Now, arm yourselves and get moving!
  • This bit:
  • When John Smith is trying to show Pocahontas what a handshake is. He has his hand held out and the expression on her face as she says "Nothing's happening".
  • When John approaches the bush where Pocahontas is hidden, Flit angrily flows out and attacks him. As John dodges him the rest of his biscuits fall from his sack and Meeko eats them all.
    John:: Hey! Wh— What? Watch out. What? Get— No. get— Uh, look out...
  • John's attempt to break the fight bewtween Percy and Meeko.
    John:: It's all right, Percy, he [Meeko] is a friend. [Percy won't calm down.] BAD BAD DOG ! SIT !