Schmidt doing a sexy dance while Japanese businessmen watch.
Attempts to defrost Hank the turkey in "Thanksgiving".
"That's second base? That means I'm not a virgin anymore."
A stranger and his nana giving young Jess candy.
"And my checks have baby farm animals on them, bitch!"
Schmidt refusing to dress as sexy Santa Claus, Cinco de Sexy or sexy Martin Luther King.
Schmidt pronouncing chutney as "chut-a-ney".
Schmidt's 2007 new years resolution list.
"Find out where Winston gets his sparkle and then steal it".
"I don't think she knows what motor-boating means".
Schmidt's monologue during Winston and Shelby's first kiss as a real couple.
Schmidt: Shelby, be careful with his mustache, please; it's very delicate. I can't watch this any more. Winston, I hope you're better in bed because your street work is embarrassing. Am I talking too much? I don't wanna ruin the moment. You know what; if this was my grandmother's building, she'd be outside on the patio yelling down at you and she'd be saying, "You look beautiful, the two of you are a beautiful couple, I'm glad you found one another," but she wouldn't invite you up because she's a horrible racist. You want me to put on some Jodeci?
"Quick Hardening Caulk". From Nick and Jess's innuendo filled trip to the hardware store, Jess doped up on painpills, and Nick and Jess's aquarium shattering attempt at sex, the whole thing is a riot.
Winston's first kiss with Daisy.
Daisy: "C minus. You kiss like a damn bitch."
Jess attempts to give Schmidt a purple nurple.
Jess: Where are your nipples, man?! Schmidt: ...I'll never tell. *chuckles*
"...Burkas isn't you guys, right?"
The magnificent clusterfuck that is Jess' attempt at a one night stand on Valentines Day. Complete with Schmidt's tires getting stolen, Jess attempting to tie a knot in a cherry stem and almost choking, and a liberal dose of shrooms.
Nick stripping to his underwear and dancing like an idiot for Russian gangsters. Context? What context?
From "Pepperwood", Jess's reactions to Edgar's story.