Funny / My Name Is Earl

  • Randy's method of picking up chicks at a bar.
    Randy: Hi, I'm Randy. Are you drunk enough to go home with me?
    Woman gets rid of her straw and tosses back what's left of her drink
    Woman: ... yep.
  • Earl meeting up with a clingy girlfriend after he faked his death, her screaming and this:
    Randy: She screamed like that girl from E.T. when she first saw the monkey.
  • Randy's reaction remembering two neighborhood kids on the list who were crippled in a skydiving disaster were humped by a dog- one to completion- nearly a minute of the funniest laughter you'll hear on NBC (or wherever you watch it).
  • Before Joy and Darnell get married, she and Earl accidentally have sex behind his back. They decide to confess, but Joy personally tells Darnell Earl slept with his mother. Darnell goes berserk and starts beating Earl up. Earl thinks it's because he knows and tries to talk him down.
    Earl: I didn't get mad when you slept with her!
  • "Moombataaaaaaaaaaaaa! New day for Central Africa!" stands out.
  • In the creative writing episode, the story Joy tells to Dodge and Earl Jr. to get them to behave themselves.
  • The part where Earl is telling the audience about his friendship with Ralph, and it shows them making popcorn and sitting down in front of the TV together, only for police to come by and show that they had apparently forgotten that they were trying to rob the house they were in.
  • Earl's conjugal visitor during his stay in prison. A very obvious Pre-Op Transsexual.
    Earl: So, Annie... you got a wiener, right?
    Annie: {Goes from a fake falsetto, to a deep baritone} Well it doesn't function if that makes you feel any better.
  • Discussing network executives:
    Joy: Plus, they don't let anyone cuss on TV until a certain time at night. (looks at her watch for a few seconds) Douchebags.
  • When Randy was dating Judy, and suffering from allergies to her beloved cat, and Darnell suggested allergy medicine, and Randy said how he already tried it, and all it did was make him thirsty. Cue a flashback to him drinking water (right out of the water cooler) to the song "Chug-A-Lug" by Roger Miller.
  • Donny's parody of Pat Benatar's "Heartbreaker" at Earl's birthday party.
  • In "White Lie Christmas", Joy tries to fool her parents into thinking she and Earl are still married and, what's more, that he just came back from the war in Iraq. She quickly takes him to the bedroom to explain things to him, under the pretense of having a quick "welcome home" session. Her parents, meanwhile, simply sit in the next room completely unfazed while she is hopping on the waterbed trying to make it sound real...
    Joy: Give it to me, Earl! Give it to me like you gave it to those terrorists!
  • The Camden bookmobile is so poor that it can't afford real classic books. They have to buy knockoffs like "Trazan the Ape-Man". What's especially funny is that many of the books listed are knockoffs of public domain works. The bookmobile is so poor that it can't afford public domain books.
  • The time Earl and the golfer got Mistaken for Racist 3 times while trying to win back the latter's ex-girlfriend.
  • While Earl is pretending to be the voice of God:
    "Do not maketh carrot cake! It is the devil's food! Uhh... but that doesn't mean don't make Devil's Food Cake! I love that stuff!
  • The old lady that ran over Earl, shortly afterwards, calling her sister:
    "Alright. I'll go back. But if I go to jail, you're taking care of Mom!"
    • The moment the guy Earl gave all his money to realized he didn't deserve the money:
    Guy: I saw Old Lady Karma again.
    Cut to the old lady talking to someone on a bus.
    Old Lady: I don't drive anymore. Not after I had these two terrible accidents.
  • The scene where Joy shoots at Earl with a crossbow, but keeps missing because he moves out of the way just in time... completely oblivious.
  • Catalina is expressing concern about Mr. Turtle, and Earl is getting worried about Randy, after both go missing. He thinks she's talking about Randy, too.
  • Earl and Darnell bonding over the time they both saw Joy dance naked due to a Closet Shuffle when she was cheating on Earl.
  • When Earl tries to help a suicidal man he already crossed off his list:
    Randy: Earl, if you keep helping people that aren't on your list, you're never going to finish it and we'll never get back to doing crimes!
    Earl: I don't think you understand the point of my list Randy.
  • Earl when he has his "technologically-impaired" moments:
    (upon bumping a computer mouse and turning a screensaver off) Uh-oh... I think I broke somethin'. The fish went away!
  • Bettie White plays the Witch Lady. It's as hilarious as it sounds.
  • A drunk Earl rides a horse, facing the tail-end:
    Earl: You're going the wrong way. You're going the wrong way, ya stupid horse!
  • "I'm getting too old for this crap."
  • Darnell's cheese obsession:
    Government Agent: From this moment on, you are Darnell Turner.
    Darnell: Can I still like cheese?
    Government Agent: Not if you want to stay alive.
    • Later...
    Joy: You sure do like cheese.
    Darnell: Shh.
  • Darnell getting Earl and Randy ready to be on the run:
    Darnell: I was trained to think twelve steps ahead. I saw this coming three months ago.
    Randy: (swallowing some pills) What are these pills?
    Darnell: Cyanide capsules. They'll kill you in thirty seconds.
    Randy spits them out.
    Darnell: Just kidding! I figured you'd swallow those. They're vitamin pills. It's important to keep your immune system up when you're on the run.
  • Joy's Barbie costume for Halloween consisted of her wearing a pink shirt and taping her nipples down so they'd be flat.
  • One of Randy's life-long dreams was to jump head first into an angry mob:
  • The reason Joy was scared of Catalina's voodoo-obsessed nephew was because of her childhood babysitter:
    Babysitter: You dare to steal cigarettes from my purse, child? You shall become pregnant before you are married!
    (cracks an egg open; blood pours out.)
    Young Joy: Oh snappity-snap!
    • Joy's first reaction to the nephew was pretty funny too:
    Joy: The Devil likes 'em young! He probably gets in through the soft spot on their heads!
  • Catalina getting smuggled to America:
    Travel Guide: (hands her a newspaper)
    Catalina: Won't it be too dark to read?
  • Willie the One-Eyed Mailman's lack of depth perception was what prevented him from getting the winning lottery ticket.
  • Snitching on criminals in Camden County allows you a pick from the police station's prize drawer.
  • The entire conversation about ALF.
  • Randy's impression of Tommy Lee Jones in The Fugitive.
  • Catalina comes across South American versions of Earl and Randy. Except this version of Earl has a list of people to get revenge on.
    South American Earl: After we kill this old lady by getting her addicted to smoking, we have to steal a donkey from that one-legged girl.
  • Earl got the idea to get his father elected as Mayor was from the one-legged girl's artificially-limbed boyfriend whacking him with a "VOTE!" sign.
  • Mr. Turtle's one trick is that he yawns sometimes if you yawn in front of him.
  • The time Earl's mom is telling a story about how Earl peed on her living room rug. At the beginning, you see a little boy running around naked, while she amusedly tells him to get his diaper back on. So the audience is made to believe it's Earl as a toddler...then it's revealed that Earl is back from drinking with his friends, and that the child is therefore Dodge.