Funny: My Mad Fat Diary
- Rae's mum picks out a horrible beige and brown dress for her to wear to the wedding, which Rae describes as "a cross between a profiterole and a prolapsed colon".
- Rae's mum complaining about her going through twenty tampons in two days:
Rae's Mum: What have you got, six vaginas or something!? Your hoohah must be the driest place in the universe!
Dr Kassar: Run, it's the mega-period!!
- When Rae is being examined by Dr Kassar and is afraid her period is going to overflow. She imagines him running frantically from the room as blood pours out behind him.
- Kester throwing some portraits in his office out the window (and nearly causing a traffic accident by the sounds of it) in order to get Rae to be honest/bond with him.
- Also with Kessler - he makes a psychological insight in the middle of a Rae rant. Rae's reaction:
Rae: I find you intensely irritating somedays.Kessler: It's what I live for.
- Rae describing herself as the 'Tyrannosaurus of sex' and imagining herself as the T. Rex from Jurassic Park and Archie trapped in the car.
Archie: Clever girl!
- Archie holding Rae's breasts up in the middle of a camping trip so she can have a few minutes of actual support whilst wearing lingerie in preparation for attempting to lose her virginity.
- When Danny Two-Hats is explaining to Rae and Tix about the 'friend zone' and he draws Rae on the board with huge boobs.
- After not having sparks with a guy or a girl, Archie's worried that he's asexual. After a game of Spin the Bottle, he's happily proven wrong.
Archie: I'm gay, Rae. (mouths silently) I'm gay.Rae: You pleased about it?Archie: Fucking delirious.
- When Danny pees from a second-floor window on the three bullies who turned up at her door expecting to be let inside.
Danny: Jog on, you big bunch of fannies!