Funny / Markiplier Drunk Minecraft

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Drunk Minecraft is one of Markiplier's earliest series, and it's (in)famous for its many funny moments.

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• The first episode, when Mark was considering getting rid of his webcam, to the others' protests.
  Wade: Everyone wants to see how stupid you look while you play. (Beat) That sounded meaner than it did in my head.
  Mark: I will shove a rake up your anus.
• Bob establishes himself almost immediately as the Only Sane Man Deadpan Snarker, as Mark is reading his list of building suggestions from fans, which includes "penis spaceship", "cactus maze", and "giant chair".
  Bob: ...Who did 'giant chair'? Who invited that guy?
• In the first episode, something happens that turns Mark's skin into some random Asian guy (actually the texture pack reskin for the default Minecraft skin, Steve). What makes this funny is that he fails to clarify when he says something along the lines of "I've been turned into some Asian guy" causing Wade to basically say: "I hate to break this to you, Mark, but that is you."
• Mark has a tendency to get his Armstrongs mixed up when he's especially drunk.
  • When they're trying to shoot Wade into space through a giant penis, Mark attempts to give a rousing speech:
    Mark: It's sad that Lance Armstrong died, but he'll be playing that trumpet in heaven.
  • Later, when Zombie smites him for breaking into the winner's circle during a race:
    Mark: I had my victory taken from me, like Neil Armstrong after the bicycle race.
• All 30 minutes of "WHERE IS WADE!?". A quick recap: Mark and Bob slaughter a village of innocent moon aliens; discover that Wade has been turned into a block of sand; create a railroad to transport Wade's body back to their spaceship; Markiplier goes insane due to having Wade's body in his possession; and they finally make it back to Earth and create a monument to Wade.
  • Right before they discover Wade's "remains":
    Bob: What did I get from the witch?
    Mark: I don't know, what did you get from the witch?
    Bob: I got a stick!
  • This episode is followed by "OREGON TRAIL", in what may be their first attempt to have some kind of story arc. Apparently, a witch turned Wade from sand into a donkey, but the sand turned into a desert, trapping them in a Wild West town. The rest of the episode features the duo getting dysentery (which, according to Mark, is an STD), having a shootout in the middle of town, Mark getting trapped behind a fence, and culminates in them blowing up the town and declaring "Oregon is horrible!"
• In "RETURN OF SLENDY'S NIPPLES", they attempt to make a Slender Man sculpture, but end up failing in the most fantastic way possible. They end up giving him stubby legs, fat thighs, an outrageously long torso, and in Wade's case, he gives him white socks and continues to try to justify it long after making it. And Mark never changes it back and instead rants about it, even claiming that the rest of the body makes sense ^note which it actually does, as Slender Man has tendrils and likely has the ability to shapeshift...apparently also to this bizarre shape as well. Bob's laughter, especially upon realizing how long they were making the torso, has got to be the most triumphant example of his Contagious Laughter to date.
  Mark: How tall are we making him? ...This is too tall, this is too tall.
  Bob: I don't think his legs are long enough.
  Wade: At least compared to their torso, they aren't!
  (Mark laughs while Wade collapses in laughter, Bob proceeding to completely lose his shit)
• In the episode "STATUES OF WADE", to celebrate Wade's victory in the previous episode, the three decide to make statues in his image. Wade's is, of course, quite accurate and innocent. Bob's is...questionable, but still somewhat accurate to how Wade's avatar looks, and Mark's is... not.
  Bob: If there's an award for realism, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna win that one.
  Mark: Oh, yeah?! Are you kidding me?! Have you seen mine?!
  Bob: Yeah, I've seen it, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna win that one.
• One particular moment in "THE TOWERS OF IRON":
  Bob: AHH!
  Game message: muyskerm walked into fire whilst fighting LordMinion777
  Bob: ...That's fine, I was carrying your coal, Wade. (takes a drink)
  Wade: Noooo!
  (the trio busts up laughing)
• LATIN'S WRATH. ^summary The episode starts off normally enough, with Mark starting their farm and Bob saying how he'd love chickens falling from the sky. Then Wade basically says "why not creepers from the skies?" Within a minute, creepers start falling from the skies. After they blow up the side of the house and kill Wade and Mark, Mark reads his death certificate and it says he was killed by LatinGoddess. Mark decides to go on a rant about how everyone wants Zombiemold, Latin's boyfriend. He is almost immediately struck by lightning, sending Bob and Wade laughing and Mark running in terror. It doesn't stop his rant though, as Latin sends another bolt of lightning, killing Mark and incinerating their only iron ingots. From this point on, Mark seems dedicated to not stop talking about Zombiemold, and Latin sends more creepers, and Mark and Bob go to the giant wool penis. A massive thunderstorm starts. Right after, a giant zombie attacks their base, soon followed by many more. As Bob and Mark retreat to the secret base inside the wool penis, Latin sends more mobs right next to them. It turns into a Hold the Line type mission, where they fail and creepers blow up their gear. Mark, now acting like a Death Seeker, says "BRING IT ON!" Latin sends a line of explosives through their house, obliterating it and creating a massive chasm. Latin then comes and kills Mark personally. At the very end of the episode, Mark states that he regrets nothing, although he apologizes, and their bases in shambles.
  • During the same episode, while the group is near the Giant Wool Penis, Mark comments that he is alone, because Wade is married and Bob has a girlfriend. Wade then comments "Yep, I've got the ring on my penis, uhp, or finger..."
• Mark starts calling Wade "Gayde" in one episode, to which Wade responds with a Camp Gay voice. Mark calls it offensive, which Bob immediately lampshades.
  Bob: (beat, laughing) Yeah— yeah, Gayde, that's offensive!
• While going through a string of character impression ideas in "CAST AWAY PART 2", Mark at one point asks Wade to do a Bill Clinton-Hershel voice. Wade's resulting line sounded anything unlike what Mark and Bob expected:
  Mark: [talking to Wade] Do Bill Clinton-Hershel.
  Wade: [Beat, then speaks in a smooth, deep toned voice] Ooh, I'm gonna touch ya.
  Mark and Bob: [explodes into jovial laughter]
• "SUPER SMASHED BROS" has the trio trying to play a smash gamemode, only for everything to start breaking around the 7 minute mark. They then spend the rest of the video being teleported to the back area in the map and getting stuck inside of one of the mechanisms there. Zombie himself tells them that everything is broken, being unable to help the trio out. At the very end of the video, Zombie explains that all of the command blocks on the map were screwing with the server, to the point where he ended up losing control of every command he could've used, being infinitely teleported around the map while consistently getting errors.
• "MARKIPLIER LAND" and "SHIM SHAM FLIM FLAM" may feature the most royally smashed the trio has ever been, and as such are non-stop hysterical.
  • "MARKIPLIER LAND" has Mark finally break, being reduced to laughing fits at the tiniest things. The best example is when Bob tells him that he is invisible:
  Bob: (after Mark follows him into a room) All right, uh- Wade, let's wait for Mark to get here.
  Mark: I'M RIGHT HERE BOB, I WALKED PAST YOU!
  Wade: Mark, you're invisible-
  Mark: Am I invisible?
  Bob: Oh, I see your foot scuffs, yeah, you're invisible!
  Mark: I'm invisible! WHY AM I INVISIBLE?!
  Wade: And there's- there's a Martini Gartini dude!
  (Mark cracks up laughing for over a minute)
  Wade: Guys, this is the first truly Drunk Minecraft episode ever made... Welcome!
  • When Mark gets fed up with Bob's inability to go through the park entrance:
  Mark: You stand on the plate and move, you dick!
  Bob: "You dick" is my thing!
  Wade: Mark's what is your what?
  Mark: Your dick is my thing?
  Wade: Mine, or Bob's?
  Mark: Um- oh, I think it's our collective dick.
  Wade: We only have one! We let our beams cross!
  • "SHIM SHAM FLIM FLAM" has Mark and Wade goofing around and losing their shit at every opportunity for no reason whatsoever. The opening lines showcase this perfectly:
  Mark: Seriously, I love doing this with you guys, you guys are awesome.
  Wade: We should, um... we should make a series.
  Mark: Yeeeaahhhhh!!
  Bob: A what?
  Wade: (as Mark breathes incoherently) I'm not gonna lie, that statement was meant to be a, um...
  Bob: A throwaway?
  Wade: Yeah. Like the, uh, the 76ers in basketball's old uniforms.
  Mark: ..What?
  Wade: ...That's throwback.
  Zombie cracks up laughing
  • Mark and Wade's inebriated ramblings, which sometimes border on Overly Long Gag:
  Wade: Hey, uh... what's this episode about before we start?
  Mark: Penises.
  Wade: All right, this is an episode that's a throwback to Mark's desires— let's get started. I made a joke there, guys— about Mark and him being a homosexual. Not that there's anything wrong with being homosexual, there's just something wrong with Mark being homosexual because it's funny. Because in actuality he prefers sheep...
  Mark: What?!
  Wade: ... but he's too ba-a-a-ashful to admit it!
  All three of them collapse (literally, in Wade's case) into fits of hysterical laughter
• The final three episodes, "FLOATING ISLAND PARADISE", "DUMBEST EPISODE EVER" and "EXTREME BOAT RACE" all feature Mark, Wade and Bob becoming progressively drunker and drunker much like earlier on - and this time they get completely destroyed, rendered hardly conscious heaps by the end of the last episode.
  Mark: If anyone who's watching this is even understanding what the hell is even going on here, please let us know.
• One episode has the trio try to build a statue of Smokey the Bear. It turns out about as well done as you would expect.
• During the second episode of "Prop Hunt", Mark, Bob, and Wade all fall off the first map due to the path being broken up and hard to navigate on. For the first two attempts, Wade and Mark end up on a glass ceiling above the map.
  • On the nether map, Mark and Bob end up as the most unfitting items: a snow block and a tree.

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