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Danny: I, I know what "dark" means, okay? Is that really necessary, though?
Steve: That's protocol, Danny. I'm sorry, but I can't answer your questions right now, okay? Gotta go, all right?
Danny: I got an easy one. What are you wearing? You know what? Don't answer. I'm sure it's top secret, so I will take a guess. (pretends to think hard) Cargo pants!
Steve: Goodbye, Daniel.
The fact that Steve smiles throughout the whole conversation, almost provoking a rant after weeks of being away and worrying his partner makes the whole thing into a Crowning Moment of Heartwarming, McGarrett/Danno style.
The whole "Sexy Eyes" conversation:
("Sexy Eyes" comes on the radio) (beat) Danny: Are you serious? Steve: What? Danny: You're not gonna do something about this, you're not gonna do change this? Steve: What's wrong with this? Danny: You're going to leave this, youíre not going to do something about this? Steve: It's OK. Danny: It's OK? I know you have been trained to endure torture... but this, this is unbearable! This is not right. Songs this bad make stable people wanna kill other people! You understand? (Danny turns it off; Steve looks at Danny with the most hilarious facial expression) Steve: I think it's kinda catchy. (turns it back on) Danny: (twitches)
In the Pilot, Danny is ranting at Steve about getting him shot:
Danny When you get somebody shot, you apologise! Steve I'm sorry. Danny: You don't wait for a special occasion! Steve: I'm sorry. Danny: Birthdays, or friggin' President's Day! Steve: I am sorry,; OK? I said I am sorry, I am sincerely sorry, that is what I have been trying to tell you last year. When this conversation started. Danny: Your apology is noted. Acceptance is pending.
Danny mocks the idea that spirits are going to punish him for entering a sacred area. Gilligan Cut to a huge rock smashed through the windshield of the Camaro, and Steve with an "I told you so" expression.
Steve rides a motorbike up a flight of steps to crash into a gang's club:
Danny: I have a number of a therapist to give you, OK? Walk up steps like a human.
Similarly, after Steve blows open a door with a hand grenade:
Danny: Please donít do that. Steve: What? Danny: Please donít put both hands on the wheel. Every time you do that something terrible happens, and I have to pray. Wait, wait. (puts on seatbelt) Okay. (Steve drives through a gate)
Danny is trying to be sympathetic towards a criminal to convince him to let go of his hostage:
Steve: What are you doing? Danny: What? Steve: What are you doing, the guy's clearly a psychopath, you're trying to make friends with him? You're trying to connect? Danny: He's standing right here in front of us! Steve: Danny you're a cop, not a therapist. Danny: Hey, hey I've been trained for this kind of thing okay! Steve: What, to bore people into submission? Danny: (to the criminal) Don't listen to him okay, his idea of communication is he drops a witty one-liner and shoots you in the face! Steve: You know what maybe I should just shoot this guy now so he doesnít have to listen to you talk!
Danny is complaining about having to ride a horse to get to the bad guy's place because an ATV would be too loud:
Danny: Why couldn't we have taken an ATV or a gold cart—
Steve: An ATV? Yeah, let me tell you something, an ATV would probably not be any louder than your whining—
Steve: Do you realize how much of your life revolves around food? Danny: Do you realize how much of your life revolves around armed conflict?
Danny: Okay, letís say I am you, and you are the bad guy here. I would know that all the ways onto the ship are visible somehow. So, how would you outsmart yourself and get yourself onto that ship without yourself seeing yourself? Steve: okay, was that an actual question, or were you just throwing words together and hoping they made sense?
A last one for the road...
Danny: First you have to seek to understand before you can be enlightened. Steve: I will literally pay you cash to stop talking.
Max's reasoning with Sabrina (the bank teller) on why he's coming to deposit directly instead of a direct deposit.
Steve and Kono chasing Makani Jacobs, who originally had a hula skirt until the former tore it off. Guess what follows? The sequence is notable for its elaborate use of foreground objects to avoid unwanted exposure. What's even funnier is Kono trying to get out of restraining the suspect since he's naked.
"Who wants to learn how to remove a bullet from a gunshot wound?"
Any scene with Kamekona and Grace together is pretty hilarious, but the dietary scolding that Kamekona receives from Gracie in "Ua Hiki Mai Kapalena" ranks as one of the best. And it's very obvious that Danny desperately wants the chicken, too.
Kamekona: You know, Gracie, when I was a little keiki like you, my momma used to bring me this chicken. Every time I was sick.
Grace: Fried chicken isn't good for you. It has cholesterol and causes heart disease.
Kamekona: Nah, a little bit of grease is good for you. Helps the inside stay lubricated.
Duke: (smirking) Looks like somebody made Santa's naughty list.
Steve: Genius tried to carjack me.
Duke: (chuckling) You sure picked the wrong car, bruddah.
Carjacker: Crazy man ripped out my nose ring.
Duke: (to Steve) Make sure you put that in evidence.
Also, a blink and you'll miss it moment in "Guardian". Chin and Danny drive to Chin's uncle's place to inquire about Moonshine. When they walk up to the house they pass a few chickens. Danny takes one look at them getting out of his way and goes "Excause me." Completely straight faced.
Another cold open begins with Steve and Danny chasing a suspect in a tiny yellow tourist moped. Much like the audience, Danny's first words are wondering why they are chasing the suspect in a clown car.
Steve: I keep telling you, if you don't like my driving you can always get out of the car!
Danny: I would but there are no doors.
Catherine calls McGarrett and Danno's trip to the football game a "man-date" and Kamekona tagging along a "bromance".
Danny gets upset when McGarrett changes his catchphrase.
McGarrett: Book 'em, Kono. Danny: Oh, where's the love?
This bit from ""Na hala a ka makua" when Roy Parrish tries to carjack someone's sedan after stealing the Five-0 badge.
Civilian: (After seeing Roy in prison clothes) Wait. Are you... even a cop?
Roy: No. But, uh, (Points to the Camaro behind him) they are. (McGarrett and Danno show the civilian their cuffed wrists)
When Danno shakes his head at Jerry to not tell the prosecutor what he knows about Farrow, he proceeds to talk about Area 52 just to throw off her suspicion of him.
Everything in "Ina Paha" from a Hawaii-loving Danno, a homeless Jerry to a convict Kamekona (who is only persuaded to help if he gets deliveries of free shrimp for the prison kitchen, so that he can make proper meals for the inmates).