Funny / Guardians of the Galaxy (2021)

Chapter 1: A Risky Gamble

• If Peter approaches Rocket working on thumper devices at the workbench and asks him about it, we get this gem:
  Peter: How's that even gonna work? The thumper goes "Beep, beep, beep, beep" then the monsters come running?
  Rocket: It's more like WAAH! WAAH! WAAAAAAAAAH!
  Gamora: (off-screen) Holy Hala—ROCKET!
  Drax: (off-screen) Stop this ruckus at once!
  Groot: (off-screen; laughs)
  (Peter and Rocket share an amused chuckle)
• Rocket sneezes, prompting Drax to bless him:
  Drax: Morgath be with you!
  Rocket: (acting offended) Hey! Morgath yourself!
  Groot: I am Groot.
  Rocket: (surprised) "Morgath"'s a politeness thing?
• Upon entering the cockpit to speak with Gamora you'll see that she's sitting in the pilot's chair, prompting this dialogue:
  Peter: Hey, that's my chair.
  Gamora: Then why aren't you in it?
• If you have Peter leave the cockpit after meeting with Gamora, she'll call for the others to send him back. Drax will say, "Peter Quill! The murderess calls for you again!" which Rocket snickers at, calling it kinky. Gamora's reaction is a flat "Ah, nope."
• The fact that Rocket named his team as "Team Rocket", doubling as both a testament to his character and a Shout-Out to the Pokémon anime.
• Drax objects to his and Gamora's team designation being Green Team because his skin is teal, not green. Quill can only let out a small What?
• Early in the mission you come across a branching path. Rocket informs you that there's only one right path and the other leads to nothing. Naturally, most people familiar with this type of game would expect there to actually be some collectible or other item down the other path and will go down it to discover... nothing. Rocket was absolutely right.^note On the way back you actually can find an alternate costume for Rocket based on his movie appearance but still, it’s funny.
  Rocket: Congratulations, Quill, you found exactly what I told you was there: nothing.
• During Peter and Rocket’s bet, if Peter scans the area, Rocket will comment that he can hear Peter scanning, leading Peter to repeatedly ask how Rocket can hear it.
• Drax proposes that the Guardians use their upcoming partnership with Hellbender as a way to get them better jobs with other clients. But Gamora and Peter have to point out that the way he's proposing it’s an extortion racket, which is definitely illegal, which puts the kibosh on the discussion.
  Drax: (getting it) "Oh."
• Rocket's reaction to the "monster" being a Space Llama is basically a full-bodied Flat "What".
  "...What the flark is that?!"
• Chapter 1 ends with the gang escaping the QZ, only for the Milano to get disabled by a ship-stunning projectile. The ship drifts end-over-end, and the camera cuts to an upside-down shot of Peter muttering "Oh please don't be Nova Corps" a few times. Drax then confirms that it is Nova Corps, causing Peter to open his eyes—and then the camera cuts to the title of the game, which is also upside-down before righting itself!

Chapter 2: Busted

• Rocket quickly excuses himself from the cockpit. Gamora looks at Peter and says that they "need to get rid of that animal". At first, you'd think she was talking about Rocket, but then Peter looks to his left...to the purple-and-orange Space Llama thingy, now with a yellow tag clamped to its ear, turning to look at him and make chewing noises.
• Rocket let Groot fill out the paperwork to make the Guardians a legitimate organization, resulting in their official name being "Gardeners of the Galaxy", which Rocket had to fix with an addendum. They still get called Gardeners by the Nova Corp and later the Worldmind.
  • Said paperwork also provides descriptions for the team, which lists Rocket as "a bona fide super genius" and "definitely not a raccoon"; and Drax as "often grumpy". Quill is listed as "last and definitely least"... and that's it. Rocket just put Peter's name at the end.
  Peter: ...that's it? That's all you wrote?
  Rocket: There was a character limitation.
• Nikki complains about her mom and her controlling behavior. You can have Peter agree and join in mocking Ko-Rel.
  Peter: "This is a new low, Peter. Even for you, Peter. It's restricted space, Peter!"
  Nikki: Right?!

Chapter 3: The Cost of Freedom

• When the rest of the Guardians are upset that Peter got them out of being arrested by the Nova Corps only to instead be saddled with a steep fine with a deadline, Peter gives each of them a rousing speech emphasizing their strengths. And when he gets to Groot...
  Groot: I am Groot?
  Peter: You ARE Groot!
  • On a darker note, the only reason they miss Ko-Rel's ship heading into the QZ right in front of them is because they were too busy arguing with Peter.
• If Peter considers Rocket's idea to sell Gamora's doll collection, Gamora stops him, leading to this:
  Gamora: Let's say my collection actually is worth something. There's no way we'll find a buyer in time. And even if we did, there's no way it gets us what we need. And most importantly...any attempt to sell anything of mine will result in me chopping off something valuable of yours.
  Drax: (looks ahead of himself, seemingly intimidated) Perhaps we should reconsider another course of action...
  Peter: (definitely intimidated) Yup.
  Drax: Such as capturing the infamous—
  Gamora and Rocket: (exasperated at the Fin Fang Foom idea) NO!
• Groot's idea is to combine both the "sell Gamora's collection" and "go to Maklu IV for Fin Fang Foom" ideas into "sell a fake monster to Lady Hellbender". Drax...misunderstands.
  Drax: Sell Gamora's trinkets to Fin Fang Foom. It is brilliant!
• "Oh yeah?! You want monster?! I'll show you monster!"
• Drax spends the entire time talking about how incredible Lady Hellbender is, including assuming that her mood is controlling the Hostile Weather of Seknarf Nine.
  Peter: That's not how weather works!
  Gamora: Or how women work!
  • At one point, the Guardians start making their own embellished stories of Lady Hellbender's feats. Drax, not aware they're just joking with him states he hasn't heard their stories before.
• This exchange, just after disembarking from the Milano:
  Drax: That is not a castle, it is an impregnable fortress.
  Rocket: So how do we impregnate it?
  Gamora: Ask Peter!
• At Seknarf Nine, should Peter go ahead with Drax throwing Rocket across the chasm, Rocket starts screaming angry alien slurs that he probably made up on the spot, followed by shooting his blaster at them.
  Gamora: At least he's not shooting at us.
  [Rocket starts shooting at them]
  Gamora: [slightly alarmed] He missed on purpose, right?
  • Afterwards, Peter says he'll raise Rocket's cut by five percent if he gets the bridge working. Rocket takes a moment to think about it before saying he wants his cut raised to ten percent, Peter agrees to it without arguing about it.
  Peter: We'll take it out of Groot's cut, he doesn't understand money anyway.
  Groot: I am Groot?! (The tone of him saying this more or less translates to "Wait, what?!")
• Also at Seknarf Nine, one of the idle talks has Rocket saying that the team should listen to his ideas more since he has augmented intelligence, something Drax tests on the spot.
  Drax: What is 55,787,880 divided by 9,512?
  Rocket: 5,863! ...Give or take. I have a glitchy calculator chip that's always off by two.^note He's not wrong on this, the corect answer is 5,865.
  Drax: What is four plus two?
  Rocket: Four.
  Drax: Hahaha! What is two plus four?
  Rocket: Eight!
  Drax: (Laughing haughty)
  Gamora: And he's our engineer!?

Chapter 4: The Monster Queen

• When the Guardians first meet with Lady Hellbender, Peter (naturally) tries to turn on the charm, but is quickly rebuffed in favor of Drax. The look on Peter’s face as he tries to process this is priceless.
  • Drax’s reaction is no less amusing:
  Drax: Peter Quill, I believe she is flirting with me.
  • And the best part? If you want negotiations to go smoothly, you have to encourage this!
  Peter: Just, play along, man. Flatter her or something. You got this.
  Drax: It is for the best. (slaps Peter on the back) Your negotiation skills are terrible.
• If you chose to sell Groot and allow Drax to name the price, he'll be as stalwart as ever even if demanding a high price.
  Gamora: Don't you think ten thousand is a more reasonable amount, Drax?
  Drax: [As blunt as always] I do not.
  • Best of all, if you side with Drax throughout the whole deal, you get the highest amount of units out of all possible outcomes.
• If the crew chose to sell Groot to Lady Hellbender, she’ll insist they stay the night. We then cut to Peter struggling to escape a tentacle wrapped around his neck, presumably belonging to one of Hellbender’s pets…except it actually belongs to Peter’s date.
  Peter: No, no, of course I will. I’ll call you. I’ll call you.
  • Later, when the gang finds Groot’s cell, we get this classic bit:
  Drax: Stand back: I will breach the perimeter.
  Gamora: It’s too thick.
  Drax: (punches the glass, to no avail) It is too thick.
  Gamora: Who knew?

Chapter 5: Due or Die

• Rocket's high-pitched shriek when he finds the Space Llama chewing on the Milano's comms array.
  • If you hid Rocket's tech, Gamora will look at Peter and ask:
    Gamora: I thought we got rid of the larma thingy?
    Peter: Llama thingy.
    Gamora: [surprised] What did I say?
• One of the Apocalyptic Logs you can stumble across inside the Rock? Some Nova Corps officer’s Self-Insert Fic about the Worldmind.
• The entire run-in with Jack Flag. The Guardians first find him in a cell, where you can push a button, presumably to let him out. Instead, his cell lowers into the floor to parts unknown. Shortly after, the gang find him again in a lineup room, where he almost immediately disappears again. Even later, he can be spotted again, still in his cell…as it’s being ejected into space. Gamora’s reaction is the cherry on top:

  Gamora: Let’s pretend we didn’t see that.

Chapter 6: Between a Rock and a Hard Place

• On Knowhere, Peter meets an alien called Lipless, whom he doesn't remember. Turns out Quill made a blood pact with him while blackout drunk and taught him a few songs by Star-Lord, which Lipless wants him to (terribly) sing with him in a crowded, silently awkward bar under the threat of death. Even more hilariously, if Peter nails it, it turns out Lipless (gun and intimidating visage aside) is actually a pretty sweet guy and even gifts him a very expensive ticket to the Collector's Emporium, since he himself doesn't have the time to visit.
  • Assuming you nail the encounter, the little info box in the corner will read "You salvaged a friendship you don't remember with Lipless." Rocket will also leave, disappointed that Lipless didn't kill Peter.
  • Caught up in the moment, Peter at one point grabs the loaded gun pointed at his face and sings into it like a microphone. With Lipless's finger still on the trigger. There's dumb, there's Too Dumb to Live, and then there's Peter.
• Since Peter can't/won't fire his weapons on Knowhere (at first), pressing the fire button instead makes him go "pew pew!" with finger guns.
• While exploring the marketplace, Peter can find a slot machine. If he gives it a try, he actually wins the jackpot!…only for the machine to break down without paying out, much to Peter’s ire.
• Towards the end of the chapter, Peter has to navigate a maze by himself. Wander around long enough, and Peter has the option to imitate each member of the team in order to keep his spirits up. He even does their voices.

Chapter 7: Canine Confusion

• In Cosmo's psychic gulag, Rocket and Peter devolve into inexplicably dog-barking at each other. Then everybody comes to, revealing that the dog barking is from Cosmo and his pups.
  Peter: Woof're you talking a-bark?!
• The first time the Guardians meet Cosmo, he says "Always catch with Pyotr Quill, and not fun kind with ball." which triggers an automated ball thrower, which Cosmo immediately scrambles after. Guess nothing can take the dog out of Cosmo the psychic Russian dog.
• Drax prefixing every noteworthy thing on the converted Hala's Hope with "dog report item".
• Once the Guardians put things together and realize that Nikki could be Peter's daughter (she certainly thinks so), they spend the entire chapter teasing him mercilessly. Drax, in particular, says that Peter is going to be a terrible father with straight-faced sincerity and congratulation.
  Drax: Ha! [slaps Peter on the back] Congratulations, Peter Quill! You will make a terrible father! Unless the child is dead, in which case, it will not matter.
• The team's exclamations when they first encounter the Inquisitor, one of the Church's robots:
  Drax: Dog report item! We are under attack!
  Gamora: By a giant robot?!
  Rocket: By some weird priest?!
  Peter: By a weird giant robot priest!
  Rocket: (who wasn't taking the dog report that seriously for most of the mission, but is freaked out by this) Okay, yep, definitely a dog report item!
• The criminal files have some laughs.
  • Threat levels are given based on the amount of damage the criminal can do; the Blood Brothers have a "Continental" threat level, most others are "Planetary," and a few are "Galactic." Peter's? "Village."
  • If you read the Worldmind's notes on the Guardians, you'll find that it actually believes they are the "Gardeners of the Galaxy," and in fact has flagged them for extra observation because it considers it rather suspicious since they have nothing to do with gardening.
  • Looking at Drax's file prompts this conversation:
  Star-Lord: So Drax's criminal record is pretty big...
  Drax: That is what your mother said.
  Rocket: Heh. It's great, 'cause his mother's dead...

Chapter 8: Matriarch

• The team has to distract Raker while Rocket messes with his drone. They mostly get him to talk about his weird religion while Rocket is behind him on the drone.
  Raker: Wait. Weren't there more of you?
  • You then have to make up an excuse to keep him from turning around, and it turns out that none of the Guardians can lie for shit.
    Drax: (with a straight face) Perhaps he [Rocket] died, like your son.
  • After Rocket is done Raker, unaware he hacked the drone, just scold him and ask him to get in front of him so he can see him as he goes on talking.
  • Rocket even goes as far as naming the drone Gubbins... And then a Church member shoots it down after it helps the Guardians. Rocket takes it well.
    Rocket:: NO! GUBBINS!!! He was gonna be the sixth Guardian!
• Everyone is awed and horrified when they realize that Nikki is the Matriarch, the religion's figurehead. Except Drax.
  Drax: Peter Quill. Order your offspring to get down from there.

Chapter 9: Desperate Times

• The Guardians need to contact The Worldmind to get help defeating the Church. They aren't responding to hails, and their automated help system is full on For Inconvenience, Press "1". They even dismiss all reported crimes because the galaxy is doomed and it's pointless to enforce the law. What finally gets the Guardians through to the Worldmind? Paying the fine they received at the start of the story.
  Rocket: I can't. Believe. That worked.
  • What's more is that at the language selection, there is a language for Kree, something that Rocket seems to be against Peter choosing.
    Rocket: If you pick Kree, Quill, I'm gonna gnaw your ears off.
    • If you try to pick the kree language, Rocket will stop you from choosing it and will push the standard galactic language option instead.
    Rocket: Nuh-uh, not letting you do that, Quill.
• The Worldmind, a massive holographic face with a Voice of the Legion, solemnly refers to the team as the "Gardeners of the Galaxy."
  Rocket: It-it's a typo. It's "Guardians." Read the addendum.
• After their talk with the Worldmind falls through, Groot points out to Rocket that the Nova help line is still asking for the fine money.
• Peter, completely exhausted by everything going downhill, enters his room to find the Space Llama sleeping in his bed.
  • If you hid the Llama back in Chapter 2, she will stretch and leave the room...through the large hole she chewed into Peter's wall while hiding from Nova Corps. Peter is bewildered, but ultimately too tired to be upset any further.
  • Flopping into bed, Peter takes a sniff and groans.
    Peter: ...Aaaand the bed smells.

Chapter 10: Test of Faith

• Drax has accepted the Promise and locked the Guardians in their rooms. How do they escape (assuming you chose to hide the illegal parts)? Leading Kammy (the Space Llama) to the wires connected to the doors so she can chew on them...via singing. Oh, and this isn't a cutscene, the game actually shifts into a mini-game in which you control which Guardians sing "Don't Worry, Be Happy" to lead Kammy to the wires.
  • Right before this, Gamora is the one to tell Peter what the Llama is named, implying that she's the one who named her.
    • Turns out it's Drax who named Kammy. There's another conversation where you can discuss naming the Llama with the crew, and Drax is actually the one to suggest Kammy, after his daughter Kamaria. Gamora reacts with disbelief, asking if he's really OK with naming the Llama after his dead daughter. Drax doesn't see anything wrong, because the Llama is tenacious and hardy, just like his daughter!
  • Peter has Gamora sing to gauge Kammy's reaction.
    Gamora: (sighs; then sings really badly) "This is me singing a song! I hope you like it! because I don't."
    Peter: (seeing Kammy waddle away; snickering) "Wow! She hates your voice!"
    Gamora: (offended) "Flark you!"
    • For reference, Kammy will come toward Peter's singing and Groot's humming, but will be repulsed by Gamora's and Rocket's bad singing. And yes, the subtitles do note Gamora's singing really badly as [singing really badly].
  • Another thing Gamora says during the same scene (and also earlier in the game):
    Gamora: [Likely referring to Mantis] Join a team, she said. It'll be good for your mental health, she said.
  • "Don't worry / ...Please stab me / Is this even working? A-la-la-la..."
• Drax draws his weapons on the Guardians, and it looks like there's going to be a fight until someone drops in from above the camera:
  Mantis: (in a really ditzy way) Hi, guys!
• In the Lamentis caves:
  • Mantis defending Rocket when Gamora groans about his unwillingness to walk through a waterfall...which just makes Rocket look a bit more pitiful:
    Mantis: In Little Fuzzy's defense, he has died drowning in far less water than this!
    Rocket: Exactly! Wait, what?!
  • The team has just cleared the waterfall to let Rocket pass through without getting wet, and are crouching through a low tunnel when Mantis mentions that this is the wet part, alarming Rocket. Then the floor breaks and they all fall...into a dry, but very dark, cave.
    Mantis: Wheeeeeeee!
    Rocket: Please be dry! Please be dry!
  • While progressing through a particularly creepy-looking part of the cave network (when everyone has repeatedly commented on what a monster-filled deathtrap it is) Mantis enthusiastically says "Oooooo! This part! Ooooooo!" with all the joy of a kid watching a favorite horror movie. Her failure to provide any useful information on what exactly happens at "this part" is more annoying to the Guardians than usual.
  • The fact that the Mirror Match against the fog versions of the Guardians was created by Peter giving a Rousing Speech to the whole team, and the others were too impressed to stop him when they realized that their "evil" versions were all standing behind Peter. Uh...go, team?
    Peter: Why didn't anyone stop me?!
    Rocket: It was a really good speech.

Chapter 11: Mind Over Matter

• The fact that the Guardians plus Adam Warlock, via Mantis' telepathy, enter Drax's mental world by entering a giant mental version of Drax's head. Literally. Because of course this is how one would enter Drax's mind.
• When fighting the manifestations of Thanos in Drax's mind:
  Gamora: Better than therapy!
  Peter: (worriedly) Maybe still consider therapy!

Chapter 12: Knowhere to Run

• Rocket really doesn't like Warlock, and mentions that he changed clothes and shaved in the two seconds they weren't looking at him.
  Rocket: Who lives in a cocoon and keeps a cape in there?
  • Rocket’s not alone. The entire team is unimpressed with Adam Warlock's sanctimonious, condescending bullscut. At one point, when Warlock is fighting Raker, Rocket deliberately distracts him by shooting him in the ass. They then take the next opportunity to snigger about it behind Warlock's back...with alliteration!:
  Rocket: Did you see the look on his face? It was like, "ah, my gilded glutes!"
  Gamora: (deep voice) Regal rear!
  Drax: (regular voice) His perfect posterior, his...
  Peter: Champion cheeks!
• Rocket convinces Peter that breathing in the powdered brain matter of the Celestial will rot his lungs. After it becomes clear that Peter is trying to hold his breath, Rocket bursts out laughing. At which point everyone else reveals they knew he was lying. A log you can find soon after shows that the "Grey Lung" Rocket made up is in fact real.
• Once you free the Continuum Cortex's hand, it'll flip the Church goons off as it returns to the space between worlds.
• The Guardians have come to the conclusion that there's only one person in the galaxy they can turn to for help against the Church: Lady Hellbender, the monster queen they ripped off earlier. Drax asks if they can be certain that Hellbender hasn't accepted the Promise already. Groot responds with "I am Groot..." (as if to say, "Let's check...") and calls Hellbender. Hellbender appears on the cockpit view screen, with no purple Promise glow to speak of, and this happens:
  Hellbender: (seeing the Guardians; gets in close to the camera) GUARDIANS OF THE GA—
  [Groot cuts the call]
  Rocket: Nope! She's good!
  • Peter (judging by the first-person camera view), Groot, Gamora and Kammy all flinch back when Hellbender starts screaming.

Chapter 13: Against All Odds

• The section where the team go to capture Fin Fang Foom, as everyone is pretty much expecting this to end in their deaths. Drax yells in excitement the moment he realises what Peter’s suggesting, the crew sings a song that Drax teaches them, and even though he’s worried about the threat he’s facing Rocket still laughs along with the rest during dangerous situations. Not only is it hilarious to see them just embracing the insanity of the situation, it’s also heartwarming that they would all go along with such a crazy plan.
• Drax yelling at Peter to veer.
  Peter: Stop yelling!
  Drax: [yelling] Veer!
• Peter repeatedly reminding Drax that they're not going to kill Fin Fang Foom.
• At one point during their trek, after a close call, Peter swears at Maklu. Drax matter-of-factly reminds him that they are on Maklu IV, and that they “must be fair to the other Maklus.”
• Peter asks Drax how dangerous Fin Fang Foom is, on a scale of one to ten. Drax says "ten thousand."
  Rocket: [alarmed] Remember, he's the literal one!
• When they first spot a Wendigo and Peter tries communicating that they are looking for Foom, Rocket mentions that Foom would be wearing purple shorts. Much to Peter's surprise, Drax also supports this by saying the legends do mention the dragon wearing purple shorts.
  • A bit of dark absurdity, but sharp comic fans - or people simply familiar with real-world mythology - might recognize that Wendigos (which double as Marvel Comics villains) should be native to Canada, making their placement on an alien Death World rather odd. Is it just another case of the game shifting continuities around? As it turns out, no. Around the site of the final battle with them, the player can find a hololog that explains it: they're apparently the result of a team of crashed Canadian astronauts launching them into space, a la Planet Hulk. Peter, sadly, doesn't comment on this crazy coincidence.
• Right before the fight the team has another session where they get psyched for battle following the method of Drax's people. All goes well, until Drax blurts out the next part of the ritual:
  Drax: And now... we disrobe!
  Gamora: Yeah, we’re not doing that.
• When Gamora complains about the cold on Maklu IV, Rocket casually suggests burning Groot for warmth. Gamora is aghast until he mentions that Groot actually does this himself for Rocket and grows back wood. Even better, Groot is confused by her distress when she still thinks it's wrong.
• After Peter unlocks the fire blast on his guns, he jokingly dubs himself "The Meltinator." The rest of the team calls him out on what an Atrocious Alias this is and when asked for suggestions, they name him such gems as "Petey Hot-Guns" and "Captain Fireball," which he thinks are even worse! The name everyone but Peter eventually settles on is "Captain Heat Glob" which goes on to be repeatedly mentioned, including the battle against Fin Fang Foom.
• The Team sliding down a giant ice tunnel. Rocket’s terrified, while Gamora is having the time of her life. Everyone else joins in her laughter, even Rocket, who lets out a weak “Wheee!”
  Rocket: Are you out of your flarking mind?!
  • After sliding down, Rocket muses how they’re gonna get back up, let alone with Fin Fang Foom. Star-Lord’s responses are either “Suggest Crazy Idea” and “Suggest Crazier Idea”. The former is them riding Foom, which Rocket and Gamora think is dumb. The latter is them riding the Wendigos with Foom as their sled like Santa and his reindeer. They like this idea more.
• At one point, Peter suggests that the Guardians ought to have a barbecue one day, to which Gamora asks what a barbecue is. As Peter describes the sorts of food served at a barbecue, both Drax and Gamora take Peter's mention of baby back ribs literally, expressing both confusion and disgust that Terrans would eat the ribs of their own babies.
• When Mantis interrupts Lady Hellbender from killing Peter, she then adds "I hope this is one of the ones where you make a good speech."

Chapter 14: Into the Fire

• Peter tells Mantis he's happy she came back for them. Mantis cheerfully says she's glad, because he isn't always. Why? Because in at least one timeline, she's his ex-wife.
• Rocket innocently asks Peter for his cassette player. Peter, reluctantly, gives it up. Soon after, when everyone is trying to figure out how they're going to get close to the Sancrosanct without being noticed, Rocket reveals that he strapped rockets to the cassette player and launches it into space as a distraction.
  Peter: Noooo!
• When Mantis drops off the Guardians, she gleefully flies off in the Milano to blast Church forces.
  Peter: [slightly panicked] Can you even fly?
  Mantis: Sometimes!
• The moment where Fin Fang Foom blows open the door and Lady Hellbender throws the cassette player, and Peter jumps up to catch it while everything explodes in the background. It's awesome, but the hilarious part is that Peter clearly knows it.
  Gamora: Are you okay?
  Peter: [sounding close to tears] Yeah, that was just so...
  Gamora: ...metal?
  Peter: Yeah.
• On the way to rescue Nikki, the Guardians discuss what will happen if they die. Drax says this:
  Drax: We have found purpose. If we die, we will see Ultath. (Beat) Correction. I will see Ultath. The rest of you will see whatever heathen paradises you believe in.
  • The best part that even though he's calling the other Guardians "heathens", there's no contempt or malice in the line. It's delivered as plainly and bluntly as everything else he says, as if he just goes around calling people heathens all the time.
• There's this back and forth with Rocket and Drax in a battle inside Sacrosanct's mines.
  Drax: We are safety inspectors! Present your documents and we will judge their accuracy!
  Rocket: Drax, you got to do it fast. Like so: SAFETY INSPECTION! BLAM! YOU FAIL!
  Drax (After the battle is over): BLAM! You have failed you safety inspection.
  Rocket: They're dead Drax.
  Drax: Correct.
• When the team frees Warlock from his stockade, Peter gets ready to impressively order everyone to move out... only for Warlock to talk all over him and lead the way. Peter looks annoyed, and Gamora gives him a conciliatory pat on the back.
  Rocket: You know, I can put him back up there.
  Peter: Don't tempt me.

Chapter 15: Broken Promises

• The chapter is mostly sad, since it's all about forcing Nikki to confront the Lotus-Eater Machine, but it still has its moments.
  Peter: Stuck in a kid's dream... we're all gonna die...
• Peter initially tries to play along with the Promise, to no success. Then he tries to talk Nikki out of it, only to realize that she's just continuing her lines no matter what he says.
• The ghost of Ko-Rel informs Peter of the truth: Nikki isn't her daughter, she's a war orphan she rescued. It's a sad and powerful moment. But then it turns out that even Ko-Rel has some snark in her.
  Peter: So... I'm not a father?
  Ko-Rel: No. [beat] Well, not her father.
  Peter: [chuckles, sniffles] Okay.
• After they break out of Nikki's Promise, Raker gets a huge power-up.
  Raker: Now... now you will— [is shot]
  Peter: Good speech! BLAST HIM!

Chapter 16: Magus

• Mantis uses telepathy so that Magus can't overhear their plans.
  Rocket: [horrified] Why does it feel like bug-girl is inside my head?
  Mantis: [smug] I'm inside all of your heads.
• While it's awesome all the same, the fact that a large part of defeating Magus is essentially just heckling him (and Warlock) is kind of funny. And fitting, given the Guardians' shtick.
  Magus: Then why are you clapping?
  Star-Lord: (as Nikki grins) We're mocking you, idiot!
  Magus: You're what?! Graaaah!
• Once the Soul Stone is returned to Warlock he’s informed that there's one last person he has to prove himself too: Kammy. Very, very begrudgingly he allows her to lick his face.

Ending and Epilogue

• The post-credits scene, in which the Guardians and Nikki are discussing the latter's temporary sleeping arrangements, while Peter is in his room talking to his reflection about taking care of Nikki. The player gets to choose how well Peter is taking this whole thing. The player can not choose what happens after Peter finishes up:
  • If the tracker is offline, the Guardians sans Peter decide that Nikki will borrow Peter's room while Peter takes the couch. The couch that Drax claims he saw Rocket relieve himself on. Peter groans, saying they'll talk about it later, before focusing on getting more business cards.
  • If the tracker is still online, Peter's self pep talk is deflated by the Milano shutting down. Nikki asks the others if they paid their fine, causing Drax to groan, Groot to exclaim the usual, and the rest to go, "Flark!"
  • The background music of this scene? Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up".
• In the epilogue texts after the credits...
  • Drax convinced the other Guardians to get Katathian tattoos/scars to document their role in fighting the Church. The text neglects to mention that these particular tattoos were set on everyone's posteriors until the line, "The rest of the team had sore butt cheeks for several rotations."
  • Groot tried, and failed, to teach the others his language ("He got annoyed at them repeating the same three words"), leaving Peter to try and teach Groot a small amount of sign language from the movies he watched as a kid.
    • If you sold Groot to Hellbender back in Chapters 3 and 4, the text states that he occasionally goes completely silent to mimic the doppelganger Groot that fooled the other Guardians in Chapter 4, all to freak out his friends. Apparently, he found that to be pretty amusing in hindsight.
  • Nikki appeared before the Kree Accusers, with flaming hair and superpowers, and told them "where they could stuff their hammers." She also occasionally calls Peter "dad" just to throw him off.
  • "Cosmo remains the best boy."

Unsorted

• Mantis has a habit of getting people’s names wrong like calling Peter “Star-Guy”. Another example is when she introduces the Guardians to Adam Warlock.
  Mantis: It’s okay guys it’s him. Aaron Witchcraft! No... Wait. Aiden Warsock? Ashley Warsaw?
• Peter's toothbrush. It gets used by Groot (presumably to clean his branches), Rocket ("It fits in the small cracks,"), Drax (whom Peter only notices using it after conversing with him), and Gamora (who is disgusted that Peter has had her "nail brush" in his mouth). By the time Peter finally gets around to using it, he decides to junk it, since it's been used by everyone on the ship by that point.
  • Hell, you can junk the thing as early as Groot using it.
• Anytime Peter chooses the wrong dialogue option in the Huddle. The other Guardians end up completely confused while he alone gets the buff. Doubly hilarious when Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up" is played on Star-Lord's cassette player.
  • Even better, the game is set so that if you fail the very first huddle it will always Rickroll you.
• During one flashback, Young Peter can look at a picture of an even younger Peter and comment on how he's finally got his hair the way he likes it... which is an absolutely atrocious mullet that was a bit extreme even for the 80s.
• If you have subtitles turned on, they will usually refer to any noise Kammy makes as [[Insert descriptor here] Llama Noises].
• Every time you go back to the Milano, the fridge door is open. This becomes a saga. At the start of the game, Peter scolds everyone for leaving it open. Mid-way when you close it for the fourth or fifth time, Gamora is surprised to see Peter closing it, and everyone on the ship remarks that they've been closing the door as well. Finally, when she’s onboard the Milano, Mantis reveals the answer to the mystery: nobody's being a slob. The door latch is just broken. Not only that, but it's a universal constant—every reality Mantis can see has that door broken. At the end of the game, Peter receives the "Key to Knowhere" (if he saved Cosmo) and uses that to prop the damn thing shut.
• On the title screen, you can see Drax reading a book. Mildly interesting as you wouldn't take him as the erudite type. Then you see it's "Sarcasm For Dummies". And he's wearing reading glasses.
• At one point during a battle towards the end of the game, Rocket will once again release a torrent of alien swears. When Gamora asks him if he's making them up he admits that he is.
  • Gamora even tries her hand at it, to Rocket's approval.
    Gamora: Shuckin' gofflestompers!
    Rocket: Not bad.
• During battle Drax will occasionally yell "I am trying to destroy!"

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