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Force trying to activate the powers of the legendary weapon he's got his hands on, while the Guardians just watch and laugh (or in Charlie's case, facepalm). Said legendary weapon, by the way, happens to be Captain Amercia's shield.
Later on in the run, when encountering the classic Guardians of the Galaxy, Star-Lord decides to make up another temporary name for his team to avoid problems or confusion with the other Guardians. The name he picks: Ass-Kickers of the Fantastic.
Star-Lord: All the good names were taken.
Also from the first issue:
Drax: You see that? That's what "not good" looks like.
Sticking with Rocket, his drunken response to something Groot says (we can't tell what it is because Groot is too small, but it is Groot).
Rocket Raccoon: You sure are, buddy.
In Issue 2, while on an iceberg floating through space, Drax determines what exactly it's made out of.
Phyla-Vell: "Time", Drax?
Drax: Uh-huh. Old, old frozen time.
Phyla-Vell: Right. And that tastes like what?
Phyla-Vell: Anybody got a sensible answer? Drax just went all existential on me.
After Mantis examines Major Victory, Rocket's still going on about team-names.
Also, Rocket wanting to "try out" Captain Amercia's shield. Indoors.
Vol 2 #7
Bug's witty banter.
Bug: Man, just like old times. Man, old times sucked.
Groot: I AM GROOT! I AM HELP! SEE GROOT HELP!
Note that this is while he's tearing a cyborg tank in half, then slamming the remains into the ground.
The Badoon's response to seeing the Guardians in action.
Badoon: Have the organisms been identified?
Badoon 2: They have proclaimed themselves the Guardians of the Galaxy
Badoon: Then I pity the galaxy.
Vol 2 #8
As the team is fighting to stop Badoon weapons-testing on a defenseless settlement. The Badoon release their super bioweapon, the monster, and this conversation occurs.
Mantis: In five point two seconds, a positive swing in our fortunes will be signaled by three words. Rocket Raccoon: What three words? "We are leaving"? Bug: "Here comes Peter?" Mantis: No. Groot: I AM GROOT! [Groot destroys the monster with a single punch]
Major Victory's reaction to this.
Major Victory: You know, for a tree, he has a beautiful right hook.
This bit from Vol.2 #13.
Star-Lord: This is what we were formed to stop? Rocket Raccoon: Yes. It. Is. beat Star-Lord: We can do this, right? Rocket Raccoon: Don't spoil the moment.
Maximus: My lord, you were saying? Groot: I AM GROOT! Maximus: Now that is brilliant, and all we'd need is a socket set and a very long piece of string.
Earlier from the same issue:
Karnak: Whatever it is, it's started to hatch. Major Victory: In the sense of—? Ronan: Look at the feeds, human. It's spawning organisms from pustules on its tentacles. Rocket Raccoon: That sentence combined so many of my least favorite words.
Vol 2. 18: Jack Flag's expression on seeing Mantis has been turned into a baby.
Everything about puppy Cosmo.
In Vol.2 #19, as half the team is stuck in an alternate timeline, another temporal distortion appears, leading to this:
Jack Flag: It's a time-door! Bug: Yeah? Full of Time-Energy? and Time-Swirlies? Jack, just because you put the word "time" in it doesn't - tik - make it any clearer!
Mantis flirting with Kang, even as reality is falling apart. Even if it is a Call Back to The Crossing, it's still funny for the sheer randomness of Mantis flirting with someone.
Vol 2 #24
Rocket's plan for dealing with some nanotic bioweapons.
Jack Flag: So what do we do?
Rocket Raccoon: Well, Jack, you stand there and say: gee, Rocket Raccoon, I'm so glad you brought that unfeasibly large cannon with you... And I go like this! (fires gun, taking out all the creatures)
Peter Quill: Nice work, Rocket.
Rocket Raccoon: I try.
Major Victory's awkward reaction when Gamora starts flirting with him.
Cosmo: Comrade Racoon. Rocket Racoon: Mister Cosmo. Cosmo: Is pleasure to be seeink you. Rocket Racoon: Glad you're not too dead.
Groot's reaction to being sent flying by Thanos.
Groot: (weakly) Groot am... ow.
In the Rocket Raccoon and Groot mini-series coinciding with the Annihilators: Earthfall event, as Rocket and Groot are flung through a rapidly changing virtual reality environment in the Mojoverse, Mojo soon finds Rocket Raccoon's sentient Timely Inc. shipment processing and analysis device pointing a laser rifle at his face.
Timely Inc. SP&A Device: Turn the V.R. environment off now or I will blow your head clean off. Uhm... PUNK!
From V3. As Star-Lord and Rocket Raccoon are rescuing Abigail Brand, Rocket Raccoon dives into an army of Thanos' soldiers shouting "Blammo! Murdered you!" a catchphrase that Brian Bendis tried to associate with the character in earlier books with negative reaction from the fans. At that moment, both Star-Lord and Brand tell Rocket that they both find his new catchphrase annoying and disturbing.
This◊ is mostly a heartwarming look into Groot's insight and personal views on the human race. Except for Latverians. He doesn't really like them.
In issue 13 (the final part of The Trial Of Jean Grey crossover storyline with All New X-Men) the Guardians are on earth with the out of time original 5 X-Men (along with X-23 and Kitty Pryde) and Starjammers. Groot sees some earth trees which he gets attracted to. Rocket Raccoon's repose is hilarious.
Rocket Raccoon: Oh no, you're not going to get weird with the trees again, are ya?
You're making it weird.
Then Rocket sees an Earth raccoon and gives the response:
In the first trailer, Star-Lord Flipping the Bird only to have it covered up by the scanners with an "obscene gesture alert". Even funnier is that before he flips the bird, the scanners have already covered up his hand with the text "OBSCENE GESTURE IMMINENT" appearing. Best part, James Gunn says that it was ad-libbed by Chris Pratt.
Doubles as a Funny Background Event in the movie proper - in one of the next shots, he tries to tuck the finger back down with his other hand, only to have it pop up again. He gives an exasperated look and shrugs as if to say "sorry, it's stuck like that"!
The trailer suddenly dropping Blue Swede's "Hooked on a Feeling" as its music. Fitting, as it's depicted being on Star-Lord's Walkman. Made even better because when it drops it serves as the background music to a montage ofaction scenes.
An alien prison guard is curious as to what the Walkman is and places the headphones on his ears, so Star-Lord just casually shimmies through a closing gate, ready to kick ass in handcuffs if need be. And then he gets tazed.
All of this becomes unfunny when you realize why he has it. The Walkman has a mixtape given to him by his late mother. Cue tears.
Rocket's profile during his incarceration states that he "has a tendency to bite".
Peter's profile lists one of his charges as "Illegal Manipulationof Gramosian Duchess". And it's listed separate from his other charges, as if it was such a bizarre charge that the Corps couldn't lump it in with anything else they had.
When Peter Quill is arrested, he introduces himself as "Star-Lord" as if he expects everyone to know that name. He's visibly disappointed when Korath just responds with a "who?" and a shrug.
Rhomann Dey: They call themselves the "Guardians of the Galaxy." Saal: What a bunch of a-holes.
The opening credits. It starts with Peter exploring the ruins of an abandoned planet, using a projector showing the people that used to live there (including a kid playing with her dog). He quietly steps into the ruins, removes his mask, and takes out another device... his Sony Walkman. Redbone's "Come and Get Your Love" starts playing and he starts singing along and dancing around the ruins. He's splashing in puddles, kicking small lizard creatures, picking one of the lizards up and singing into it like a microphone, and basically having a grand ol time. It definitely shows how much this movie doesn't take itself seriously.
What truly cements the fact that the movie doesn't take itself seriously is the fact that the whole scene is shot like it's an 80s music video.
After he escapes with the Orb, Quill finds out that one of his flings is still on the ship.
Quill: Okay, I'm gonna be totally honest with you, I forgot you were here.
Nova Prime calling the Kree ambassador a prick after he refuses to publicly denounce Ronan's terrorist actions.
Rocket: Don't drink fountain water, you idiot, that's disgusting! Groot: [shakes his head] Rocket: Yes you did. I just saw you doing it. Why are you lying? [Rocket latches on to Star-Lord as a potential bounty, only to turn around and see Groot happily chugging from the fountain again]
One of the people they scan looking for a bounty is Stan Lee, who is in the middle of hitting on an alien woman. Showing that even in a distant corner of the galaxy, Stan is still The Man.
One person he scans is a little kid and we have this little gem from Rocket:
"What is this thing? It thinks it's so cool. It's not cool to get help! Walk by yourself, you little gargoyle!"
Between Rocket's gadgets and Groot's powers, how do they restrain and transport bounties? By tossing them into a big sack.
During the three way fight between Peter Quill, Gamora, Rocket and Groot, Rocket yells at Groot to grab "him", meaning Quill. Groot tries to grab Gamora instead.
Rocket: Learn genders, man!
Rocket practically orgasms when he gets his hands on a gun bigger than he is.
Then he starts firing it all over the place and yelling, and Groot begins yelling right along with him.
Quill: She betrayed Ronan. He's coming back for her. And when he does, that's when you...[makes visual shorthand for slitting his throat] Drax: ...Why would I put my finger on his throat? Quill: What? Oh, no, it's a symbol. This is a symbol - for you slicing his throat. Drax: I would not slice his throat. I would cut his head clean off. Quill: It's a general expression for killing someone, *turns to other prisoner* you've heard of this, you've seen this, you know what this is, right? Prisoner: Yeah, yeah— Quill: Everyone knows. (Drax shoots a Death Glare) Prisoner: No, no.
The funniest part is that the same prisoner had made a similar gesture at Gamora when he threatened to kill her earlier. So yes, he does know what it means.
Prior to the prison break, Rocket's outlining the plan, and mentioning that yanking a certain component out of a fuse box is instrumental...
Rocket: ... Now this is important. Once the battery is removed, everything is gonna slam into emergency mode. Once we have it, we gotta move quickly, so you definitely need to get that last. [at this point, Groot—having turned to approach the fuse box when Rocket first mentioned it—proceeds to yank the piece out, setting off all the alarms at once] Rocket:(shaking his head in resignation)... Or we could just get itfirstand improvise.
And as Gamora and Quill dash off to their duties, the camera just zooms in on Rocket, who takes a moment to paw at his own face.
When Rocket explains to Quill that he needs the prisoner's prosthetic leg, he adds "Lord knows I don't need the rest of him, look at him, he's useless." If you also listen closely, you can hear Rocket trying to contain a chuckle when he says "prosthetic leg", trying not to give away his prank.
When the group meets the head warden of the prison, Quill has the leg hoisted over his shoulder, carrying it like it's a rifle.
Also, before joining the gang in the Watchtower, Drax refers to Quill as "One Who Has Lain With a Aaskavarian" (because that's the only thing he knows about Quill)
As Rocket is fiddling with machinery to engineer their escape, Drax loudly realizes what kind of animal he is and claims that they make for some tasty meals.
Drax: I know this beast! We used to roast them over our fire pits as children. Their flesh is quite delicious!
Rocket: NOT! HELPING!
Gamora's increasingly frustrated expression throughout the prison escape. It comes to a head in the watchtower.
Gamora: I am going to die surrounded by the biggest idiots in the galaxy.
At one point during the escape, Rocket goes back for his clothes and complains, "Oh, they rolled it into a ball, that's rude! They folded yours!"
When Peter is first brought to the prison, one of the guards confiscates his Walkman and starts listening to it. During their escape, Peter finds the Walkman missing and goes back to the same spot: the guard who confiscated it is still there, oblivious to the riot and various other events, because he's still listening to the Walkman.
The way Peter bashes him in the head with the orb (and the dramatic shot of the fully kitted out Star-Lord behind him) just punctuates how screwed the guard is for stealing it.
After Quill joins the other four following their escape:
Drax: Such a mighty warrior! Fighting against such insurmountable odds! You will be important in the battle against Ronan. What did you return for? (Quill hands him his Walkman; Drax looks dumbfounded) Drax: You're an imbecile!
At one point Star Lord notices Rocket working on something. He goes over to look at it:
Peter: What is this? Rocket: That's a... a bomb. Peter: A bomb? And you leave it lying around?! Rocket: I was gonna put it in a box! [pulls out a box] Peter: What's a box gonna do?! Rocket: [picks up Peter's present from his mother] How 'bout this one? Peter: No. Whoa, hey, leave it alone. [Peter kicks the box back] Rocket: Why, what is— Peter: Shut. Up. Rocket: Hey! [shakes his head] Peter: What is that? Rocket: That's for if things get really hardcore... or if you wanna blow up moons. Gamora: No one's blowing up moons. Rocket: You just wanna suck the joy out of everything.
After Gamora calls Peter's ship "filthy" and leaves Peter says to Rocket
Quill's response to Gamora saying she doesn't dance:
Quill: On my planet, they have a legend for people like you. It's called... Footloose. About a hero named Kevin Bacon who comes to a town and teaches people with sticks up their butts to enjoy dancing.
Drax: Let us put more of this liquid into our bodies!
Rocket: That's the first thing you said that wasn't batshit crazy!
The fact that Drax basically drunk-dialed Ronan.
Doubly hilarious when you realize that it is apparently possible to call whoever you want in this universe. You want a chat with the villain or the law enforcement who intends to arrest you? No problem, your call will connect...even with photo!!!!
The Collector's excited reaction (shortly followed by Rocket mockingly mimicking the gesture) when the Infinity Gem is in his possession.
Benicio del Toro is a riot, from his eager offer to collect Groot (after he's dead, of course) to his dismissive reaction to Rocket.
The Collector: (to Groot) That your pet? Rocket: WHAT!
The Collector offers to pay Groot for the right to collect Groot's carcass (once he's dead, of course). Groot just shrugs, and replies in a tone that says, "Sure, why not?" Of course, killing him is much harder than one would expect.
Groot's utterly appalledD: expression, complete with shocked gasp, when Rocket mocks the deaths of Drax's family.
Before that, Rocket has an expression of utter disbelief when he can't believe Gamora and Quill are still holding on to the Infinity Stone.
Groot and Drax manage to guilt trip Rocket to helping them save Gamora and Quill from the Ravagers. His reaction is priceless.
Rocket: [long beat, then nonchalant] Oh, hey Quill. What's up?
When the team is trying to sort out their issues while formulating their game plan on what to do next:
Peter: I have a plan! Rocket: You've got a plan?! Peter: I have part of a plan! Drax: What percentage of a plan do you have? Gamora: You don't get to ask questions after the nonsense you pulled on Knowhere! Drax: I just saved Quill! Peter: We've already established that you destroying the ship I'm on is not saving me! Drax: When did we establish that? Peter: Like three seconds ago! Drax: I wasn't listening. I was thinking of something else... Rocket: She's right, you don't get an opinion. [to Peter] What percentage? Peter: I dunno... Twelve percent? Rocket: Twelve percent? (laughs) Peter: That's a fake laugh! Rocket: It's real! Peter: Totally fake! Rocket: That is the most real, authentic, hysterical laugh of my entire life because that is not a plan! Gamora: It's barely a concept. Peter: You're taking their side?! Groot: [In a "to be fair..." tone] IamGroot. Rocket: So what, "It's better than eleven percent!" What the hell does that have to do with anything? Peter: Thank you, Groot! Thank you! [pats him on the shoulder] See? Groot's the only one of you who has a clue. Groot: [eating a leaf off his own shoulder] Peter: [Face Palm]
Rocket's grudgingly flippant reply once he sees everyone else, including Groot, have given heartfelt declarations of their support for Quill, even if it most likely means death.
Drax proudly proclaims that he feels good after a long time without friends.
Drax: Quill. I am proud to call you my friend. Quill: Thanks. Drax: This dumb tree is my friend. Groot: [unintelligible grunting] Drax: This green whore is my— Gamora: OH, YOU MUST STOP!
Shortly after the above, Drax nails Nebula with a missile mid-rant because she insulted Gamora.
Drax: Nobody talks to my friends like that.
This exchange between Korath and Quill during the attack on the Dark Aster.
Korath: [upon seeing Quill] Star Lord! Quill: Finally.
Just when it looks like the team is going to have to deal with another whole squad of enemies after defeating Korath, Groot suddenly extends one of his arms out into a long vine that impales a whole row of mooks, using them as a bludgeon to batter the rest of the mob into submission... and when he's done, looks back toward his companions with a huge, hopeful 'did I do good?' grin.
Yondu and one of his lieutenants musing that Quill turned out all right and that they made the right decision to "adopt" him instead of handing him over to his father, who Yondu calls a "jackass".
Drax comforting Rocket after Groot's Heroic Sacrifice ranks as one, because while it is genuinely touching, a huge man petting a raccoon on the head is just hilarious. And Rocket's reaction to it is priceless, because he looks so genuinely stunned this is really happening.
After being granted amnesty by the Nova Corps for saving the planet, Rocket and Drax try to stretch the limits of what is legal so they can continue to steal and murder while keeping their newly squeaky clean records.
Rocket: Question: what if I see something that I wanna take and it belonged to someone else? Rhomann: You would be arrested. Rocket: But what if I want it more than the person who has it? Rhomann: It's still illegal. Rocket: That doesn't follow. No, I want it more, sir, you understand me? [Gamora walks off with him] I can't have a discussion with this gentleman? Drax: Say someone does something that irks me, and I decide to remove his spine. Rhomann: Th-that's actually murder, one of... the worst crimes of all. So, also illegal. Drax:[genuinely surprised] Huh.
The fact that Howard the Duck, of all people, makes a cameo in the film.
Why do you let him [Cosmo] lick you like that? Gross.
Howard being an item in The Collector's collection. You just know there's a hilarious story behind that.
Plus, the credit to the character's creators had to be placed after this scene so the surprise wouldn't be ruined, with the effect of ramming the point home that yes, you just saw that.
Several bloggers have pointed out that the introduction of Denser and Wackier elements is even more bizarre when you consider the unified timeline - during the events of the first Iron Man movie, before the MCU introduced anything genuinely fantastical, Howard was still presumably futzing around way off on the other side of the galaxy.
The first credits stinger is simply an adorably Overly Long Gag of Baby Groot (still a tiny twig in a pot) dancing to Peter's tape while an oblivious Drax polishes his weapons in the background. When Drax looks his way, he promptly freezes, only to resume dancing the moment Drax is no longer looking. He looks like a dashboard hula dancer doll.
While Yondu searches through the Broker's store for the Orb, he starts looking at some knickknacks, claiming that he likes to put them on his control console all in a row for display. This just seems like a ploy to get the Broker to lower his defenses... but during the final assault, we see the row of decorations right next to him, including the blue thingy he was eyeing at the store.
When the Broker doesn't believe Yondu, Kraglin swiftly asserts that Yondu's being serious.
As an almost unnoticed Brick Joke, Quill gives Yondu yet another dashboard knickknack, an 80's Troll Doll, instead of the Infinity Gem - and Yondu gets a big grin on his face when it's revealed. Double points because this means Yondu got trolled.
From the same scene, every time the Broker tries to explain why he can't tell Yondu more about the orb, Yondu starts babbling gibberish in response. Behind him, his lieutenant begins corpsing until he out and out laughs at the way Yondu's screwing with the Broker.
Some fridge humor: the entire ending is predicated on Peter being helped by the Guardians sharing the power of the Infinity Stone in order to defeat Ronan. In other words, they take him down with The Power of Friendship expressed as a Care Bear Stare.
On Peter's file in the line-up, under Aliases, he's listed as "Space-Lord". A nice, easy-to-miss touch.
Or when he is called Star-Lady or Star-Princess
Also during his line-up, as he unwinds his middle finger like a jack-in-the-box.
Quill: Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know what this machine did. [tries to put finger away. Fails]
In the middle of freaking out about the Infinity Stone's power, Peter and Rocket take a moment to argue about whether Peter's bag is a purse or a knapsack.