Cranky's quotes in the manual;
"So let's see what nonsense they've made up for this game
, shall we? Hmm... well, I have to hand it to them. This time they've managed to come up with a decent storyline that doesn't involve the usual golden bananas. Only joking kids! This one's worse than all the previous efforts put together! I know you probably aren't expecting a best seller, but wait till you hear this load of rubbish..."
"My powerful potions will give you abilities you've never dreamed of and certainly don't deserve, assuming of course you can afford my modest asking fee
. Now don't you go asking me for a potion of gameplay, as even my genius can't rescue this game from its rightful destiny in the bargain bin."
"Does anyone ever actually use these memo pages? Waste of paper if you ask me!"
"Those silly stretchy arms give [Lanky] plenty of potential, but I'm sure he'll be too busy clowning around to be of much use."
"I knew they'd have to have something like this. The Kongs will be so weighed down with all the garbage they have to collect, I can't see them getting past the second level. You can view all this silly nonsense and some other stuff I don't understand by pressing START during your game."
"I can't be bothered to tell you any more [about Snide], so you'll have to ask him what he's doing in this game when you meet him."
"Let me know if you find a bananaport that can take me out of this sorry game, and I'll be there in a flash."
"Elsewhere in Gloomy Galleon, you'll find a hulking structure that's a bit dim and doesn't work. Yes, I know you already know about Chunky, but this is also true of a eerie lighthouse. Let's see if you can get them both working and be of some use."
"The best switch is the one on top of your N64, as you can turn off your silly 3-D adventure and let me get some sleep!"