"In other news — THE DEAD WALK THE EARTH!!!" *clangetyclangetyclang*
As well as the Town Crier's earlier announcement to Victor and Victoria's parents.
Town Crier: (shouting so loudly the cups and saucers rattle) Hear ye, hear ye! Victor van Dort seen this night on the bridge in the arms of a mystery woman! The dark-haired temptress and Mister van Dort slipped away into the night!! (normal volume) And now the weather. Scattered showers...
"...There's an eye in me soup." Followed shortly by Grandfather Everglott scaring his grandson and his wife out of the their wits, simply by asking where they keep the booze.
Made even funnier by the fact that Christopher Lee was the one delivering the line.
"Stay back! I've got a... dwarf, and I'm not afraid to use him!"
"I want some questions! Now!"
"Answers. I think you mean answers."
"And with these hands... I will cup your..." (realizes he has hands over chest) "... Oh goodness no."
"With this candle, I shall... I shall... set your mother on fire."
As Victoria is getting her corsets laced: "Tighter. I can still hear you breathe without gasping."
The Everglotts on Victor:
Mr. Everglott: If ever I see that Van Dort boy I'll strangle him with my bare hands!
Mrs. Everglott: Your hands are too fat, and his neck is too thin. You'll have to use a rope.
When Victoria goes to the church:
Priest: You should be at home, prostrate with grief!
As bad as you might feel for her, Victoria during her marriage to Lord Barkis is kind of funny. She's just so thrilled to be there.
Almost any moment with themaggot living inside Emily's head.
Maggot: *pops out of Emily's eye* Wedding feast! I'm salivating!
Emily: *covers her eyehole* Maggots. *laughs*
Victor: But I don't even know your name.
Maggot: Well, that's a great way to start a marriage.
Emily: *holding her head and whispering* Shut up!
Emily: *gets her right leg caught and trips and falls*
Maggot: Psst. Hey, I think you dropped something.
Maggot: If I hadn't just been sitting in it, I'd say that you've lost your mind!
Emily's floaty dance thing she does when she and Victor get to the land of the living. Victor looks away just in time to miss seeing Emily's leg catch on something, come free from her body, and for her to go tumbling in a heap on the ground.