"In other news — THE DEAD WALK THE EARTH!!!" *clangetyclangetyclang*
As well as the Town Crier's earlier announcement to Victor and Victoria's parents.
Town Crier: (shouting so loudly the cups and saucers rattle) Hear ye, hear ye! Victor van Dort seen this night on the bridge in the arms of a mystery woman! The dark-haired temptress and Mister van Dort slipped away into the night!! (normal volume) And now the weather. Scattered showers...
"...There's an eye in me soup." Followed shortly by Grandfather Everglott scaring his grandson and his wife out of the their wits, simply by asking where they keep the booze.