- Hilarious throughout, but nothing quite beats "Grab your dick and double-click for porn, porn, PORN!!"
Kate Monster: Normal people don't go look at porn on the Internet!
- "There is life outside your aparrrrrt-ment...but now it's time to go home (for porn!)"
- "Brian, slow down! It's not a race!"
- As Princeton sings about his purpose, the word PURPOSE appears on a screen and slowly rearranges into the word PROPOSE. Princeton is absolutely terrified and yells out "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
- Kate singing back-up for Christmas Eve:
Christmas Eve: Ruv!
Christmas Eve: And hate!
Kate: And hate!
Christmas Eve: They like two brothers...
Christmas Eve: ...who go on a date.
- The Bad Idea Bears. Cute as a button little Care Bear looking things, who only show up to offer truly bad ideas. They're always a riot, but their truly crowning moment arrives when Princeton and Kate are at a bar and have just agreed that they shouldn't get too drunk:
Bad Idea Bears: LET'S PLAY A DRINKING GAME!!!
Bad Idea Bear 1: Here, have a Long Island Iced Tea!
- No longer part of the show, but this.
- The song "My Girlfriend Who Lives In Canada," in which Rod tries a little too hard to convince the others that he's not gay. Especially hilarious are the ending lines:
Rod: I love her, I miss her, I can't wait to kiss her, so soon I'll be off to Alberta!
Rod: ...I mean Vancouver! Shit, her name is Alberta, she lives in Vancouver- She's my girlfriend! My wonderful girlfriend! Yes I have a girlfriend, who lives in Canada! (A pause, as the music winds down) And I can't wait to eat her pussy again!
- In certain performances, EVERYONE shuts up and stares after that line, including the cast, the audience and the orchestra!!
- The animation sequences. Especially "Five nightstands! Four nightstands! ...One night stand!")
- As part of touring production that visited Omaha, during The Money Song, the actors all got back to the stage, Christmas Eve says "How much did we get?" And Princeton responds with "Well, besides this ticket stub to the Huskers game, not much at all."
- This joke changes depending on where the show is being performed. Typically it's a ticket to sporting events or a local tourist attraction.
- In a local performance in Adelaide, Australia, the cast received a ticket stub to a strip club.
- In an Off-Broadway performance, someone put a Metro Card (NYC public transportation pass for those unaware) in the hat, which Princeton said he was keeping.
- This particular exchange, where Kate sees Lucy going to Princeton's apartment, is both hilarious and awesome:
Kate: Is she a friend of yours?
Princeton: Uh, yeah.
Kate: Is her name "Purpose?"
- Christmas Eve's wedding dress. Words can't describe how wonderfully tacky it is.
- To give you an idea of just HOW tacky her dress can get, one performance in Adelaide decided to take it up to eleven by having her dress be decorated with what appeared to be disco balls. They turned the lights off...and the disco balls lit up.
- "Why are you so happy?" "'Cause our lives SUCK."
- After Kate meets Princeton in Lucy the Slut's hospital room:
Princeton: Some idiot dropped a penny off the Empire State Building.
- You have to laugh at the concept of (and song) "Schadenfreude," if only because it's true.
- The Australian cast performing "Internet is for Porn" at a comedy gala is funny in itself, but special mention goes to Kate's puppeteer Michala Banas. The line "you're ruining my song" is delivered utterly deadpan (which makes it funnier) and her facial expressions are priceless. (Partially justified as she's an actress and also partially justified in that it's a comedy gala)