"We are being invaded by extra terrestrials! These extra terrestrials are bovine in appearance."
Mad Cows From Planet Moo is a 2022 Irish Short Film, written and directed by Bobby Calloway.
It's 1964 in Everytown, America, and Halloween is in full swing for Ricky (Bobby Calloway) and Suzie (Dana Lee Al Qattan), as they plan to catch the latest showing at the drive-in. Ricky's older brother Gordie (Brian Matthews Murphy) looks like he's facing a quiet night in since his girlfriend has to work late, but little does he know that the country is about to be invaded.
An Affectionate Parody of 1950s and 60s B-movies, the title actually however comes from a throwaway Film Within a Film from an episode of All Grown Up!.
Tropes:
- '50s Hair: As Ricky is emulating James Dean, he has his in a pompadour, although it's a bit too tight on the sides.
- '60s Hair:
- Gordie has the short back and sides with the side parting.
- Suzie has an attempt at a Beehive Hairdo like Audrey Hepburn's in Breakfast at Tiffany's.
- Sharon has bombshell hair.
- Adrenaline Makeover: Gordie and Suzie in particular undergo these, with their appearances becoming wilder and messier in the process of fighting the aliens, but still attractive and used to highlight how they Took a Level in Badass.
- Alien Blood: A shot of white liquid splashing against a tree, and later the same white stuff all over Suzie's baseball bat confirm that the cows are aliens.
- Aliens Steal Cattle: Inverted. The aliens are the cattle!
- Amazon Chaser: Ricky looks kind of turned on when he sees his girlfriend giving an alien a No-Holds-Barred Beatdown.
- Attack of the Killer Whatever: Alien cows are invading earth!
- Batter Up!: A baseball bat is seen on the shelf behind the couch in the living room. Suzie later beats an alien with it and is seen arming herself with it in the ending.
- Bizarre Alien Biology: The aliens (who aren't shown) are said to resemble cows and they moo, but they're implied to be bipedal and their blood is white and smells like milk.
- Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick: Ricky runs through what the aliens could possibly want..."Love? Friendship? To suck the remaining calcium from our bones?"
- Bring My Red Jacket: Ricky is wearing a red James Dean jacket, and he's the one who ends up with a splot of actual blood on his t-shirt.
- Bull Seeing Red:
- Benny is attacked at the beginning because the door he's cleaning in front of is red.
- Ricky and Suzie are targeted because of Ricky's red jacket.
- At the end, Ricky is sent out into the battle first to attract the aliens for this reason.
- Can't Get Away with Nuthin': Benny the mechanic wolf whistles a girl who briefly stops at his garage, and then is attacked by an alien right after.
- Cosy Catastrophe: Even regular civilians who get attacked by the aliens seem to have no problem fighting them off, and the epilogue states that the invasion was easily thwarted.
- Curse Cut Short: When the alien attacks Ricky and Suzie outside, the latter says "holy f-" before she's dragged away.
- Cute Bruiser: Suzie beats an alien to death singlehandedly.
- Deliberately Monochrome: The film is entirely in black and white, done in a Retraux style of 60s B-movies.
- Embarrassing Nickname: Suzie doesn't like being called that and insists she be called Suzanne. Ricky suggests 'Suzie Ann'.
- Everyone Loves Blondes: The opening scene has an attractive blonde girl called Sharon getting wolf whistled by Benny the mechanic.
- Flipping the Bird: Sharon shows Benny what she thinks of his attempts to flirt with her by giving him a middle finger.
- The Glasses Gotta Go: Gordie takes off his glasses as he prepares to romance Janet.
- Glove Slap: Suzie puts one of her High-Class Gloves to use by giving Ricky a good smack after he teases her about her name.
- Halloween Cosplay: Ricky dresses as Jim Stark from Rebel Without a Cause and Suzie as Holly Golightly from Breakfast at Tiffany's.
- Intimate Open Shirt: Once Gordie knows his girlfriend is on her way over, he unbuttons his shirt a little. It stays that way for the remainder of the film.
- Improvised Weapon:
- Benny is seen fighting off an alien with his wrench.
- Sharon likewise fights hers off with the Halloween bag she's carrying.
- Gordie and Suzie are lucky that they just happen to have an axe and baseball bat in the house to use.
- Monster Delay: The aliens are never seen, and only heard.
- Not What It Looks Like: Ricky sees Gordie holding a cloth with white stains on it and assumes he's been masturbating.
- Pre Ass Kicking One Liner: Gordie before he goes out to fight the aliens "Janet's on her way over, and I'm in the mood for steak tonight."
- Slipknot Ponytail: When Suzie and Ricky are outside, her hair is already coming out of its updo. After they run from the alien, it's come down completely.
- Spinning Paper: The end credits contain a montage of newspaper headlines about how Gordie, Ricky and Suzie saved the day, and clarifying that Benny and Sharon survived too.
- Stylistic Suck: The monsters are never shown, with the idea being that a low budget B-movie in the 60s wouldn't be able to make a convincing prop. All because the no budget short itself didn't have the money to make a prop.
- Tomboy with a Girly Streak: Suzie loves monster movies and seems excited about potential UFOs, as well as proving herself to be an Action Girl. She also dresses up as Audrey Hepburn, and Squees over Frankie Avalon.
- The Voice: Janet, Gordie's lady friend, is heard over the phone that she'll be over in ten minutes but she never appears physically.
- Wasn't That Fun?: After she's finished beating an alien to death, Suzie lets out a Battle Cry and says "I might just see if the Rockford Peaches are still holding tryouts."
- What Happened to the Mouse?: Janet is said to be on her way over to the house; specifically ten minutes away. Gordie is still expecting her by the end scene, but it's not said what happened to her.
