Katara describes dinner as "a bit of a disaster." Things go well on the Aang front, with Katara getting him in a good mood with honey stir-fried vegetables and the menfolk's flattery, but she ended up losing her cool and stomping off as a result of a few different causes.
It starts with Sokka being teased about being "whipped" because he cooks for Suki and respects her opinion. Katara doesn't find it funny and gets dismissed for not having a sense of humor, even though Sokka and Bato share her opinion.
Hanook lusts after a Fire Nation maid because he thinks she's a slut, in spite of the fact that he's the one who wants to "take her for a tumble". Hakoda disapproves, and Bato disapproves of being used as proof that if Bato can have "a shagging buddy," so can he. Katara's infuriated by the fact that he isn't treating the kitchen maid in question as a person (she isn't sure which one), and steps up to defend her, pointing out Hanook's hypocrisy in the process. Hanook counters that "men can't be sluts," but Katara points out that they can be idiots.
Hakoda, in a desperate attempt to keep things civil here, changes the subject to going home, something he's sure everyone is looking forward to. Unfortunately, the wives are one of the things they're looking forward to. On the surface, it sounds like they want to see their families again, but Katara, looking deeper, sees that they want a return to the patriarchal status quo.
Katara thinks about the Water Tribe without the men, and realizes that during that time, the women showed they were just as capable, kind and intelligent as the men, which means they won't willingly accept the men lording over them, and neither will she.
Katara finally snaps when the men expect her to pour them wine, even though she's eating and there are (presumably female) servants around. Recalling JJ's advice, Katara chooses this time to fight, and throws caution to the wind, telling the men to get their own wine and demanding more respect.
As the men freeze in Stunned Silence, Katara takes the opportunity to follow through, saying that she's sick of being treated that way and demanding that women be treated as equals to men, especially those like Katara, who are strong fighters. All these are somewhat standard feminist arguments (not in a bad way, mind you), but Katara adds an interesting twist by saying that it's also for the men's sake, and that treating the women as equals also makes them better men. Katara concludes that it's a big change, but it's a good change, and she's asking a lot of them but they can do it together.
Unfortunately, she gets the same silence that she did when she tried to inspire the prisoners on the barges to action. Katara admits that she'd hoped that she could get them to see the error of their ways- which sounds quite naive- but then concedes that she was hoping for a reaction, which is a reasonable request. The only reaction she gets is Aang clapping, but when he gets up to speak, Sokka stops him, saying that it's Water Tribe business. It's nice to see Aang step up in this situation, but I fear that the author intended to portray him as naive and/or trying to score points with Katara.
The warriors turn to Hakoda, as chief, since he has the final say on this, and Katara wonders whether she should have taken Suki's advice, but doesn't regret saying what she feels. Hakoda begins to say that it is a big change (which is realistic enough, but it's also something Katara said, so she doesn't need him to point that out), and Kuba says that since women can't row longboats, there's no need to change a centuries old system, which Hakoda says was not what he meant.
Hasa says that he isn't treating women badly, and Hassan (I can't tell if Hasa's still speaking or if it's another person) says that this is acceptable by their standards, and if Katara doesn't like it, she should move to Kyoshi. Hakoda protests his daughter being spoken to like that, and Sokka complains about them talking about Kyoshi that way, but neither they nor Aang can win over the crowd, and Katara storms off, refusing to cry in front of the men.
Katara runs to the fountain and weeps over her speech not going as planned (If she intended to instantly win people over, she'd inevitably be disappointed), until her father catches up, as she hadn't heard him calling her name. He gives her a hankerchief and comforts her like he did when she was little.
Hakoda asks her what led to that speech, and Katara, after asking, "Where do you think, Dad?", and then goes into detail about how she's been marginalized, especially in recent days. Hakoda says that if Katara wanted to be treated like a warrior, that is what she should have asked for. Katara points out that it isn't about her, but all women, and she wants something more akin to Kyoshi or the Fire Nation. Obviously, Hakoda doesn't want to be like the Fire Nation, but while it was a poor choice to bring up the Fire Nation as an example of gender equality it does make me wonder. What, exactly, about the Fire Nation's culture is so objectionable to the Water Tribe, apart from its desire to conquer the world to spread it? Wouldn't learning from each other help reinforce the peace?
Hakoda says that the idea of female equality came "from nowhere," and that Katara sounded as though she was saying that the men were treating the women horribly, which he believes isn't fair. Already, we can see this discussion breaking down, as while we don't see Hakoda's exact wording, he does seem to be making more of a "you statement," (e.g. "You're wrong about the men") rather than an "I statement," (e.g. "I don't think that the way the men treat women is unfair"). As such, since the conversation's shifting from expressing feelings to making accusations, things are already starting to break down, especially when Katara accuses Hakoda of not listening and he demands that she listen to him.
Hakoda says that he was a good father who was fair to both Sokka and Katara, only teaching Sokka how to use a boomerang because Katara interested (she was, but she had too many chores, although she doesn't bring that up) and because he didn't hit Kya Sokka or Katara.
Katara's angry that Hakoda's completely missing the point again, as the issue's not about whether he's a good dad or not, and she wants to hit him with a stick if he says that again (evidently not the commonsense stick- the fact that she wants a real one is evidently proof that this is serious). Katara also points out that men are supposed to be fair to their wives and children, and not abuse them, and Katara shouldn't have to feel lucky for what she has. Katara storms off before allowing Hakoda another word.
Hakoda's not quite on Aang's level yet, but it's disheartening to see one of the better parents in the series (although the Beifongs set the bar fairly low, and it's hard to be much worse than Ozai) portrayed like this. He's not this self-congratulatory canonically, and knows that leaving Katara and Sokka behind to fight in the war was a hard decision, but it had to be done.
Incidentally, in the second part of Smoke And Shadow, Katara and Sokka are fairly happy to go home, even though Katara reminds Sokka that he's nostalgic for dishes he never liked. The sexism isn't brought up as much, but it's possible that it's because ATLA isn't nearly as Anvilicious about this issue this fic is. Similarly, Stranger in a Familiar Land angle doesn't come up, but it also didn't come up that much in canon as far as Katara and Sokka went.
Essentially, this is yet another time when it's clear that a certain part of the world or a character in it is largely of the author's making. It's more believable than most, but it also comes off as slightly forced in some ways, like many other parts of this fic.
What I liked
- Katara's speech to the men.
What I didn't like
- Hakoda's attitude is fairly reactionary, as well as out of touch with his daughter.
- The implications that Aang is naive for wanting to speak up to support Katara.
- Some of the bits about the extent of the Water Tribe's sexism and Katara not wanting to go home have a slightly flimsy basis in canon.
