First collectible card game! First two-part story! First recurring villain! First Seto Kaiba! First Blue Eyes White Dragon! My Greatest Failure! (If only I'd thought of having Kaiba say "Screw the Rules, I Have Money!" I'd now be an Internet celebrity.)
Duels 9 & 10: The Cards With Teeth
(Kame Game Shop)
Suguroku: This is the collectible card game that's so big in America, Magic & Wizards(tm)! (No relation to Magic The Gathering(tm).)
Yugi: But people in Japan play it too.
Anzu: I'd just like to praise the Kazuki Takahashi art.
Jonouchi: Can you gamble with them?
Yugi: Not exactly. (Basic explanation of rules here.)
Jonouchi: You could never collect all the cards.
Yugi: I've heard there are crazy people in the United States who sell their houses to buy strong cards.
Suguroku: I just so happen to have one of the best cards around, the Blue Eyes White Dragon (3000/2500), which is so ludicrously overpowered they stopped producing it.
Blue Eyes: Worship my shininess!
Jonouchi: I'm convinced to become a Duelist! Gimme some strong monsters!
Suguroku: Sorry, all packs are random. Buying more packs or some rare singles would improve your chances, of course. Too bad you blew all your money on sneakers.
Anzu: I will buy a pack as well.
(A new person enters the store.)
Seto: I'm Seto Kaiba, the real star of this show. Although it isn't mentioned in this chapter, in addition to being an expert card player, I'm an inventive genius and the completely ruthless heir to a multinational corporation. Basically, Lex Luthor with hair.
Smallville Fans: Umm...Lexxxxxx.....
Seto: So this pitiful shack is your family's, Yugi?
Yugi: Why it's our classmate, Kaiba. Even though he's never actually been shown in the class scenes.
Kaiba: So, you like Magic and Wizards?
Jonouchi: Sure! Would you like to play with us?
Kaiba: Lemme see your cards. Hmm...Ha! I'm a national champion! This deck is pathetic! You're a loser, and you always will be!
Yugi: I like you, Jonouchi.
Jonouchi: Dis me, will he? From this moment forth, I will devote my life to convincing myself I could take Kaiba in a fair fight.
Kaiba: On the other hand, if this shop has any good cards, I might be persuaded to buy some.
Suguroku: Even though you've just dissed my grandson's best friend, I'm willing to take your money.
Kaiba: Wait, that's the Blue Eyes White Dragon, the card my little brother drew for me! I'm orgasming right here in the store! If I have this, I'll be invincible.
Suguroku: Okay, that's enough. You'll get drool and less mentionable body fluids on my card if you keep that up.
Kaiba: If you give me that card, Gramps, I'll trade you this suitcase! Oh, and the couple of thousand cards inside.
Yugi, Jonouchi and Anzu: Shock!
Suguroku: No.
Yugi, Jonouchi and Anzu: Double Shock!
Suguroku: This card's not for sale because it was a present from a friend. It's as important to me as that person, and it has a heart for me. Take good care of the cards you have, Kaiba, and you'll be able to trust in their heart as well.
Kaiba: Argh, sappy speech! I must retreat! (He leaves.)
Yugi: Grandpa's never lost a game even without rare cards.
(classroom, next day)
Jonouchi: I play a weak monster.
Yugi: I play a strong one. I win!
Kaiba: I've seen third-graders that play better. But I must flatter Yugi so that he will let me see his grandfather's card.
Yugi: Even though I promised Grandpa I wouldn't let this card out of my sight, I believe that you can learn to trust the Heart of the Cards.
Kaiba: Now to switch this card with the forgery I prepared using the resources of Kaiba Industries! Mainly, the color copier in the secretarial pool. Thanks for your kindness, Yugi.
(Kaiba leaves.)
Yugi: Odd, this card feels slightly different than it did before. Almost as though it has no soul.
Jonouchi: Let me distract you from pursuing this clue by challenging you again.
(After school)
Kaiba: Hahaha! Now I will be invincible!
Yugi: I think you should give back the Blue Eyes now. I didn't say anything before because I didn't want to embarass you.
Kaiba: You dare accuse me of doing what I did, in fact, do?
Yugi: I sensed the lack of heart in that card...also the photocopier ink came off on my hands.
Kaiba: I know nozing!
Yugi: My grandfather's feelings will be hurt if he loses that card to your greed.
Kaiba: Aww, let me make it better—by smashing this suitcase into your face! I don't care about "the Heart of the Cards" or friendship or any such wimpy emotions! Winning by any means is the only thing that matters.
(Kaiba leaves)
Yami: Oh, you're going to regret that.
(dark room, location unknown)
Kaiba: So, you're challenging me to a game of Magic & Wizards, eh? I agree in advance to your house rules.
Yami: (Some more rules explanation)
Kaiba: I draw first! Ryu-Kishin Gargoyle (1000/500) in attack mode! Wait, the card's monster is...coming to life?
Gargoyle: I'm alive! Too bad it's not for long.
Yami: I counter with Blackland Fire Dragon (1500/800)!
Gargoyle: Aiee! (dies)
Yami: These are the new rules. The monsters on the cards come to life, and whoever loses plays a penalty game!
(First ever chapter break!)
Yami: Yes, the one who loses this game will "know death."
Kaiba: Hahaha! Yes, this is the kind of extreme gaming I've been looking for! Now I play Battle Ox (1700/1000), a really strong Beast card.
Yami: I've got Mystical Elf (800/2000), so I'll put her in defense mode.
Kaiba: After a couple of draws, I've got a good card, Giant's Might, which increases Battle Ox to (2040/1200). Bye-bye, elf.
(Kaiba's monster wipes out a bunch of Yugi's weak cards.)
Yami: Hey, finally! Summoned Skull (2500/1200)!
Kaiba: Wow, that's a lot stronger and rarer than his other cards. I would have never guessed its presence from the rest of Yugi's deck.
(Summoned Skull kicks butt on all of Kaiba's monsters for a few turns.)
Kaiba: I have a couple of cards that could help me out here, but the chance of drawing one is pretty low. I know, I'll palm the BEWD, claiming that I managed to get it from somewhere else. Oh yeah, look at it manifest. I'm getting such a woody.
Blue Eyes: I am cool!
Yami: Grandpa's card!
Kaiba: Naw, this card fell off the back of a truck. Or something like that. Anyhow, Blue Eyes' attack happens to be 500 more than Summoned Skull's, which happens to be the amount of Life Points you have left. When I attack, you lose.
Yami: You'd think that would be the case, wouldn't you?
Kaiba: Blue Eyes! Attack!
Blue Eyes: (does nothing)
Kaiba: The hell?
Yami: Your soul isn't in that card, Grandpa's is.
Blue Eyes: (disappears)
Yami: It decided to suicide rather than attack me.
Kaiba: Cards can't think! They're inanimate objects, and even if they did have brains, those brains would be too small for conscious thought.
Yami: You just don't get it, do you? Now I play my face down card, Monster Reborn.
Blue Eyes: I'm ba-ack!
Kaiba: But that's also supposed to be a rare and nearly unobtainable card!
Yami: Attack! And Penalty Game!
Kaiba: Wait, I'm inside a card? And all the card monsters are coming to eat me? Uh-oh.
Yami: By becoming a card, and experienceing death within my illusionary world, I hope to make you understand the Heart of the Cards. Now I'd better get this Blue Eyes back to Grandpa.
Kaiba: Wait, I'm stuck as a lowly one-star monster? Someone as studly as I am deserves at least six stars! And how come I was ever in a class with you and that lunkhead Jonouchi anyway? And does this story take place before or after I took over Kaibacorp? I have so many questions!
