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12/30/2017 15:28:05 •••

Star Wars: The Idiot Plot

So I finally got around to watching The Last Jedi and while I did enjoy it, in my honest opinion, this is easily the Worse of the Star Wars movies. And while there are several reasons for my overall dislike of this movie, (the padding that was the Rose/Finn subplot, the porgs, the rather unimpressive Yoda puppet that made me long for the CGI Yoda in the prequels and the plot twists that exist just to shock viewers) the worst part of The Last Jedi is that EVERY ONE IN THE MOVIE IS A IDIOT!!!

Everything that happened in this film was result of everyone doing stupid things because if anyone acted like themselves then the movie would be over in about 5 minutes. The worse offenders in the movie are, Holdo, who takes the title as the DUMBEST person in Star Wars ever, beating about Jar Jar by a million light years as everything that goes wrong on the good guy side can be traced back to her poor leader ship "skills", while Jar Jar was actually useful in TPM and didn't get anyone on his side killed.

But really takes the cake is the worst moment in Star Wars history. I will gladly take the Romantic Plot Tumor of Episode 2, Jar Jar Binks and Anakin yelling YIPPEE over this scene in TLJ. Luke contemplating killing his own nephew because he MIGHT turn evil!!! No, No, NOOO!!! I don't care if it was only for a moment! I don't care if Snoke had already turned Ben to the Dark Side! I Don't F#cking Care What His Reasons Were! Luke Would Never, EVER, Do Something Like This! The Moment, The SECOND, He Ignited His Light Saber He Would Have Turned It On Himself For Even CONSIDERING That Idea!!!

I get why so many people liked the film but honestly, for me, its strengths are outweighed by its flaws more so then any of the Prequels and this film is, again for me, the worst Star Wars movie ever.

P.S. Yes I know that the Prequels also suffer idiot plots but by Lucas' own admission he's not really a writer. So what's Johnson's excuse?

12/30/2017 00:00:00

This review is so OTT histrionic, simpering, and hyperbolic that OP has to be of Skywalker lineage.

12/30/2017 00:00:00

Impressive. Every word in that sentence was wrong.

12/30/2017 00:00:00

Remember how the entire Star Wars saga began with an intergalactic empire refusing to blow up an escape pod for no reason?

12/30/2017 00:00:00


Yes, but that was a single moment of incompetence from two no names which was recognized by their superior officers as a bad idea and was followed up by them taking action right away. Holdo withheld information from someone Leia trusted enough to locate information that would lead them to their last hope. Said person Holdo decided to mock for no other reason then because she could. The entire resistance could have been wiped out due to this one persons stupidity had she just taken the few seconds needed to take someone she knew to be loyal aside and explain things to him then its entirely possible that they could have avoided this whole mess.

It really doesn't help that when you compare the two, Jar Jar is more useful and less incompetent then Holdo as he not only never did anything that nearly the heroes killed but actually got them a army in the end and even had the good sense to surrender when they were beaten.

And again, the flashback with Luke and Ben is completely out of character for the latter and exist simply to move the plot forward. If you have to break a character to make a scene work then there's a problem with the scene. Again just comparing the two the bit where Han shots first isn't nearly as bad as what Luke did in that flashback as Han was still going to shot Greedo dead Greedo just happened to have a 1 second head start and in the end it doesn't change anything about Han's character or journey.

The real shame of all this is that the Luke and Rey plot is actually really good but everything around it and even a few things within it just drag the whole thing down. We didn't need the Finn/Rose plot which now has a Romantic subplot that is even weaker then the one in Attack of the Clones, the villains are the worst in the series when just compared to Nute Gunray, a villain that was supposed to be pathetic, as they have lost pretty much every major battle and were only able to win this one because, again, Holdo was a even bigger idiot then they were!

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