Reviews Film / Jupiter Ascending

A Glorious Trainwreck

"Jupiter Ascending" may not bring in the crowds at the moment, but it is destined to be the next "The Fifth Element". Let me quote a Tumblr post which explains it better than I can;
I am now completely awake and still completely IN LOVE with this movie. Please lemme explain why
Channing Tatum as an albino wolf thing with wings, really just a giant golden retriever puppy that wants cuddles
Mila just wanted a telescope guys why did all this have to happen
LIKE A CAR CHASE BUT INSTEAD OF CARS IT’S GLOWING HOVER HEELIES
"Lucky for you, a woman owned this car."
"What is—is that???"
Male bonding through EXTREME PHYSICAL CONTACT
Magical bee arms is what I’ve always wanted in life
His name is STINGER and he’s part BEE c’mon you guys
BALEM IS A DUMB WHISPERING TRASH BABY
KEEP HAVING TANTRUMS YOU BIG BABY
The fucking music, I was cackling
They couldn’t decide between steampunk or space so they just went with both
LADY PUT YOUR CLOTHES BACK ON WHY YOU GOTTA BATHE IN FRONT OF PEOPLE
"Is there any part of you that wants to bite me?"
"YOU DO NOT TREAT YOUR COUSIN LIKE CHICKEN!!!"
JUST LIKE GIVE ME BALEM IN EVERY ASPECT OF MY LIFE
BALEM
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH DUDE
This movie was a train wreck in the most beautiful way possible and everyone should appreciate this for what it is