If I do say so myself, I found that the central protagonist's dialogue was very believable, if only because it's relatable. He is deliberately written bland in order for the story to be more of a "self-insert". Said stories have received quite a bad rap, but I honestly think it is a good aspect of writing when done intentionally. Especially so, when the story is written to tap into our personal emotions. As well as that, the story is properly punctuated and contains a little more than three spelling errors. Very impeccable and clean in the matter of grammar. Which is a virtue that some people forget to mention when reviewing this story. And, while I didn't necessarily cry, I did get misty eyed. And I even was a little numb for a few days. So I'm not going to deny that the story had affected me.
But the story makes some sacrifices in exchange for these virtues. Quite a few, actually. For one thing, the descriptive language is quite bland. Though I'm not quite sure if this was intentional or not. Either way, I'm not a fan of it. The beginning "part", however, was written quite well, especially the first few paragraphs. So why in the name of decency did the author just stop being creative? It eventually gets to that point where description is as simple as saying "there's a couch and a rug in the room" instead of saying something like "there's a light green couch, just beside the rug in my brother's room."
And Rainbow Dash is seriously out-of-character. Some aspects are recognizable, and even sometimes the story has rather amusing as well as plausible gags, such as RD's love of NASCAR. But then we have her acting in ways that, frankly I don't think she'd ever do in a full moon. This may be intentional and even make sense, since she was raised up from a filly completely different to that of her original life. But that certainly doesn't make it any better. RD was just made into too much of a good-willed saint, while still going in and out of the "bratty teenager" attitude. Among other things, there are some VERY serious plot holes. For instance, it is made clear that Rainbow Dash was sent into this universe completely by accident. So why was she found in a box which conveniently said "give to good home"?
So, while a fine fic by its own merits, it's so hazardously overrated, it makes me want to cry like I just lost a daughter.
Indifferent...
If I do say so myself, I found that the central protagonist's dialogue was very believable, if only because it's relatable. He is deliberately written bland in order for the story to be more of a "self-insert". Said stories have received quite a bad rap, but I honestly think it is a good aspect of writing when done intentionally. Especially so, when the story is written to tap into our personal emotions. As well as that, the story is properly punctuated and contains a little more than three spelling errors. Very impeccable and clean in the matter of grammar. Which is a virtue that some people forget to mention when reviewing this story. And, while I didn't necessarily cry, I did get misty eyed. And I even was a little numb for a few days. So I'm not going to deny that the story had affected me.
But the story makes some sacrifices in exchange for these virtues. Quite a few, actually. For one thing, the descriptive language is quite bland. Though I'm not quite sure if this was intentional or not. Either way, I'm not a fan of it. The beginning "part", however, was written quite well, especially the first few paragraphs. So why in the name of decency did the author just stop being creative? It eventually gets to that point where description is as simple as saying "there's a couch and a rug in the room" instead of saying something like "there's a light green couch, just beside the rug in my brother's room."
And Rainbow Dash is seriously out-of-character. Some aspects are recognizable, and even sometimes the story has rather amusing as well as plausible gags, such as RD's love of NASCAR. But then we have her acting in ways that, frankly I don't think she'd ever do in a full moon. This may be intentional and even make sense, since she was raised up from a filly completely different to that of her original life. But that certainly doesn't make it any better. RD was just made into too much of a good-willed saint, while still going in and out of the "bratty teenager" attitude. Among other things, there are some VERY serious plot holes. For instance, it is made clear that Rainbow Dash was sent into this universe completely by accident. So why was she found in a box which conveniently said "give to good home"?
So, while a fine fic by its own merits, it's so hazardously overrated, it makes me want to cry like I just lost a daughter.