All Purpose Negima Fanfiction Thread

And hot on the heels of last episode comes this second dosage of Iniquitus ' Let's Watch Puella Magi Madoka Magica: Episode Six! I mainline these things.

Last time on the show: Sayaka went Puella Magi and now spends her evenings slapping abominations of nature apart. Madoka, her girlfriend, is still kinda sadface about Sayaka being in danger and tags along, only to meet Kyouko, who promptly acts like a bitch and almost raeps Sayaka. Fortunately, Homura was nearby and is now about to be all like "Bitch, this is a horror show and not a rape show." Oh, and Kyosuke got his/her hands back.

Right, so now Homura shows up and trolls Kyouko ("Hah! Got you!" "LOL no.") for a bit. Then Sayaka tries to be a hero again but gets dropped by Homura like a stone. This only happened because Sayaka let her have the limelight back for a bit, because otherwise Homura never coulda done that as Sayaka is (as previously proven) Rakan in magical loli form.

Homura and Kyouko have a loooong staredown, then Kyouko decides that she has met enough magical lolis for today and buggers off. Note to self: Never play poker against Homura. Homura then disses Madoka's insecurities and naivete for a bit and threatens (?) her, then leaves as well and we have Intro Sequence!

So Sayaka's in her room and has the Grief Seed from... episode 4?... and shoves the eeeeevil darkness from her Jewel Thingy into it. Also, if too much taint is absorbed into the Seed, the Witch could revive, apparently. FORESHADOWING NO JUTSU. Then Kyubey nicks the Grief Seed and does a little dance, before part of his back pops open and absorbs the Seed.

ಠ_ಠ

And we get a little more info on the Soul gem's powers and limitations: spam magic and you'll fill it up with taint in no time, but if you've got a surplus of... anti-Taint?... you're all good. Right. And apparently, letting people die and then spawn-camping Witches is how Kyouko got so strong.

Sayaka goes a bit RAEG at the fact that spawncampers get bonuses for being the dicks that they are. Kyuubey sez that she can only beat Kyouko by either out-experiencing her or getting the help of Madoka, whose talents are even greater than Kyouko's XP and initial stats combined.

• Sayaka: "O RLY."
• Kyuubey: "YA RLY."
• Sayaka: "NO WAI."
• Kyuubey: "BUY MY CRACK- ER, MAKE HER MAKE A CONTRACT AND YOU CAN TOTALLY TAP THAT LET HER FIGHT BESIDE JOO."
• Sayaka: "Nah."

Meanwhile... Kyouko is dancing to the intro song on a DDR machine. This is hilarious to me for some reason.

Homura rocks up (as she does) and tells her that the town's hers. Kyouko's like "LOL WUT" and then "KTHX", and...

Ow! Ow! Okay, I'll stop it with the textspeak!

Welp, Kyouko's a better Puella than Sayaka, so Homura's leaving. Not... quite sure about the logic here. Kyouko doesn't even let this comment break her megacombo on DDR and that is making me laugh my arse off. She finishes up for the break and asks what're they gonna do about Sayaka, but Homura'll handle it.

...Sayaka, luv, I'd wear a flak vest the next time you go out With Madoka.

Oooh. Two weeks until Walpurgisnacht. Now, I realise that I should probably not be saying this, but... um, that sounds like it's A) culturally inappropriate and B) more a good thing than the way Homura phrased it.

Kyouko wants to know how Homura knows, but Homura just goes like "I'm to cool for you to find that out. *hairflip*". Then again, if Kyouko thinks shit's going to go down so badly Homura'll need help, it may not be happyfuntimes for everyone. She pulls off an epic perfect combo on DDR (), and then turns around and...

O-O

...I'm pretty sure she was touching herself just then. With a seductive grin at Homura, while they're all alone. Just... she was like this◊, and her arm was going up down up down all the while.

Back on track. Kyouko holds up a box of pocky (is that what they're called?) and oooooh my goddammit the angle and positioning and shape of the two packets is just... gnnnngh.

ROW ROW, FIGHT THA YURI!

AHEM. Sayaka and the Rat-thing are back in the alley and trying to track down the Familiar. Madoka's worried if Sayaka tries to find it, the same thing as last time will happen again, and tries to convince Sayaka to talk it out with Kyouko. Erm... don't forget the Rape Whistle this time, luv.

Sayaka ain't havin' this talk of peacefulness in her town, and instead gets angry at Madoka because she's being too naive and trusting in the goodness of people's hearts. Sayaka, on the other hand, is quite sure that Kyouko's a bitch who needs a sword upside the head, but Madoka keeps on trying to tell her that they want the same thing deep down — to hunt Witches and not each other.

Yeah, and Kyuubey craps rainbows.

Then it gets worse and Sayaka suspects that Homura only came to kill the Witch after Mami copped it and FUUUUUUUUCK and believes that Kyouko and Homura are in the same boat of people. Then she takes a jab at Madoka's family being next for the Familiar to kill and says that she'll kill Witches and people who are worse than them.

Madoka's still all ;_; and Sayaka stalks off.

Then Madoka's sleepless in her bed and all of the plushies from the intro are gone from it. She goes downstairs and has a heart-to-heart with her mum and I can't sully this moment. (Though the bit about alcohol near the end got a giggle out of me.)

Sayaka's running to Kyosuke's room, but it's empty!

WHAT A TWEEST!

Apparently, the little guy's done so well that his schedule got pushed up, so Sayaka goes to his house to meet him and this can not possibly end well.

Oh hang on, he's still playing music. That means either he's still okay or he's part of an orchestra on a sinking ship, and we're on dry land right here, so...

KYOUKO OUT OF F*CKING NOWHERE!

Red-dead's (I'm tired of putting 'Kyouko' there) pretty pissed that Sayaka's wish went to him and tells Sayaka to use that magic of hers to get him. Well, she would, dearie, but she's still holding out for Madoka.

Red-dead wants loli!Rakan to go in there and break his legs to make him reliant on her again, and says that she'll do it if Sayaka won't. ...Okay, you're not even waiting for Homura to remove her, you're just trolling her.

Meanwhile... Madoka is busily writing a children's rhyme on her computer at two in the morning. Then Kyuubey pops up and sez that Sayaka's in danger, so she needs to get her butt in gear. Listen, if loli!Rakan couldn't do it, who can?

Meanwhile... loli!Rakan and Red-dead are busily staring each other down on a freeway overpass. Y'know, I think that if you don't want people to see you two then you can find better places than a frigging overpass in the middle of a freaking town. Madoka only just makes it, but Syaka tries to brush her off.

Kyouko's all like "Annoying people attract annoying friends" *waves tiny flag for her using 'attract' there* and then Homura trolls her by popping up and going "What's that supposed to mean about me?" Homura's piiiiiissed about Kyouko's lack of restraint. Spanky-time!

Or Homura's gonna be the one to fight Sayaka. This is all turning into one big clusterf*ck. Madoka to the rescue!

• Madoka: "Yoink! Kiss your Soul Bling, goodbye 'cos you're being a bitch!" *throws it into oncoming traffic*
• Sayaka: "WHAT THE EFF I NEEDED THAT!"
• Homura: 0_0

Uh, Sayaka falls over all limp. Did she fall unconcious because it went too far away from her body?

Kyuubey sez "you just threw your friend away!" Well, the Soul Gem isn't actually their physical body, mate.

Kyouko runs up and lifts Sayaka up like she weighs nothing. Jeez, she must be a lifetime member of the gym. She's also all like WTF and looks surprised for the first time.

Erm... Sayaka? Potential rapist holding your body? Wanna wake up now?

Sayaka?

Sayaka?

Sayaka?

get that fucking thing back right fucking now homura or i swear i will never forgive you stop her dying please please never let something like that happen to her she was supposed to be friends with madoka she cant die right now make this not be happening

that fucking thing is her soul gem after all

ITS HER FUCKING CONCIOUSNESS AND SANITY AND MIND FUCK GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW HOMURA AND MAKE THIS NOT HAPPEN

no no no no becoming a puella does not turn you into a shell dont make it be so

homura

kyouko

madoka

sayaka

get you fucking arse in gear and get back there homura dont just stare at sayaka that thing is sayaka i will accept anything as long as you can do this

SHUT THE FUCK UP KYUBEY NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO PRETEND THAT BEING ABLE TO SURVIVE BEING STABBED IN THE HEART EXCUSES THIS UNDO THIS

you have done this before

homura good youre here please put it back in her hand and let her stand back up

oh thank you god

you have proven that you are great and good now that you have let this nightmare flicker away

sayaka

sayaka im sorry i said all those things about you and made it seem like you were with madoka please forgive me i wont do it again i thought you were gone i thought you were dead please let me just bask in this moment where you arent dead and

Everything.

Is.

Right.

Again.

You don't remember it. That is good. You should not remember that. No-one should.

please keep yourself safe

edited 11th May '11 12:19:15 AM by IniquitusTheThird

Now, I am going to eat some fucking Shapes◊ and maybe exist if I feel like it.

Music to exist to this time. Fuck you. Card games need soundtracks that compensate for the card games' presence.

edited 11th May '11 12:24:49 AM by IniquitusTheThird

Ah, he finally got to the part where they find out Puella are actually lichs. Or rather super-powered space magical girl zombies.

So, you consider Sayaka to be Loli!Rakan? Remember Rakan? He was invincible, right? Good thing too! Nothing can beat Rakan! Well, at least you know Sayaka is coming out of this series A-OK!

edited 11th May '11 1:31:11 AM by SCMof2814

But, wait, Rakan gets ... ohhhhh ...

ha

Finally Understood Cannon Kill

ha

whyherwhythemwhyanyonewhycouldntithavebeen

me

insteadofthemohpleaseno

IWILLBREAKYOURLITTLEMIND

cantiputmyselfintheirplace

takemeinsteadsuckthelifefromme

leavemenothingbutanemptycarcass

justleavethemalone

YOU WILL LOOK INTO THE EYES OF THE ONE YOU LOVE AND FIND ONLY HATE YOU CAN'T BREATHE YOU CAN'T SLEEP YOU CAN'T MOVE YOU CAN ONLY SCREAM YOUR HORROR AT THE INFINITE WELL OF SPACE

dontcrypleasedontcryiwillshieldyouiwillshieldyou

hate me so you can see me die with joy and live in peace

never think about leaving each other

i will tear the world apart if it tries to break them

CRY IN HORROR AND IN FUTILE RAGE AT ME TELL ME YOU HATE ME TELL ME YOU DESPISE ME AND I WILL LET YOU KNOW THAT I AM STILL MORE MERCIFUL THAN YOU FOR YOU ALLOWED THEM TO BE HURT AND LAUGHED AT THEIR AGONY

breakbreak you into pieces

look at me and tell me ii wouldnt do it for their sake

no

fuck

next

episode

up

tommorrow

start

edited 11th May '11 2:21:09 AM by IniquitusTheThird

And it gets even WORSE Grimdark from this point on.

@Iniquitus: If PMMM is affecting you this badly you should probably stop watching the show.

ahahahahaha

im fine

ihavetoseewhatwillhappennext

funny thing this online parody of hitler flipping out in the german film der untergang had its subtitles edited to have him spazzing out about episode 3s ending

he said something like theyll kill off one character every three episodes at this rate

something to that effect has happened right on schedule

i have to keep going

shiki will seem like fun after this

this show will not beat me

i may as well make this into a fullblown liveblog now

To make up for this, they up the yuri a LOT!

...

imfine

i m f i n e

im fine

i m f i n e

Im fine

I m f i n e

Im fine.

I m f i n e .

I'm fine.

I ' m f i n e .

I'm fine.

...

God, I love this show now. I haven't felt this... this wonderfully alive and on-edge in years. I thought that the art of plucking people's heartstrings was lost.

Whoever made it deserves a fucking prize. You said someone called Gen Urubochi made it?

...

Forgot to mention: after the ending titles, they put in an ad for some sort of Neon Genesis Evangelion stuff. You guys might get some sort of kick out of that. And from my suffering, but that's why I do it in the first place.

Also, this recent(ish) post at capslock_bleach may be some other source of amusement, in case you fuckers still haven't laughed at my insanity and bad jokes. If you know what Bleach even is.

...

(*waves Sayaka/Madoka flag in his lonely corner*)

edited 11th May '11 2:44:20 AM by IniquitusTheThird

@"Mami's mammies": ... A whole article just for one character's pair of breasts?! What the heck did they do to earn that distinction?

edited 11th May '11 7:57:25 AM by MarqFJA

@Iniquitis: The next major wham episode is 8.

Anyway:

Being the only well endowed girl in the group maybe?

Been done before.

@Iniqui: Can't wait for you to incorporate that into your Puella Nodoka fic.

Darkenning, I'm very sorry, but I don't think I'll be able to write the Zazie chapter after all. After checking again, some events I needed to get the chapter right were incompatible with the continuity details you had set up, and even the tone and end of the chapter would be, overall, directly against the direction you have set up for your finale. So I'll have to let it go.

I'll actually try to wait for the story to be over before writing the spinoff, as well. Just to make sure my AU mirrors yours without contradicting any of the basics (my story will most likely have a somewhat happier ending, though. I like writing downer one shots, but somehow, I can't put myself to make a Downer Ending for a multipart story).

edited 11th May '11 10:47:08 AM by NapoleonDeCheese

Okay, that's probably my favorite new-teacher fic so far.

Dammit. Putting two of my favorite series together? You wonderful man, you...

Iniq? Please stop talking like Giygas. You're scaring me.

Random question: How big is a standard meat bun? Would one be enough for a meal, or would you typically eat a few of them?

runrunrun hey foundyou

Hello.

Who is this Giygax you speak of?

He sounds nice.

I'd like to meet him one day.

Are you off of your meds or something?

A meat bun is basically exactly the size depicted in the manga. I personally can scarf down two or three. Four when in a good mood.