Because I don't value my sanity highly enough, let's liveblog Sonichu

Well, looks like you survived that one. Expect many a more "heartsweet" to show up.

And I have a convoluted theory as to why there is no Tails rip-off (besides Eevails, who only appeared in some concept art).

Chris, being the sick fuck he is, has no doubt looked at Sonic Rule 34. I imagine he eventually tried looking at Sonails. At that point, he finally realized that Tails was male. Having always believed Tails was female and had a crush on Sonic, Chris decided that Tails must be a homosexual, and thusly, should never appear in his comic.

edited 30th Jan '10 4:11:23 PM by Daionusthe23rd

Or he could just not care for him...

Experience has taught me to investigate anything that glows.

You haven't even gotten to the really horrific part of the comic yet. Just wait till the gratuitous sex scenes.

Kill all math nerds

All right, next portion, everyone.

So this part has Sonichu facing down some kind of red-haired guy with the team rocket symbol that's riding a zapdos. A quick search on the CWC wiki tells me that this is "Reldnahc Naitsirch", who is apparently both the son of Giovanni and Chris' evil/gay (both seem to be equivalent in Chris' mind) twin. The background is drawn even more terribly than usual. They're apparently fighting in some kind of shopping mall, but everything is angled oddly so that it looks like the entire place is tilting and that they're liable to fall over at any moment. He hasn't even bothered to color in the buildings, and the only reason I know that they're stores is the "Gamestop" and "Kay-bee" logos that have been typed in. Also, if you look closely you can see that rosechu has apparently been shrunk to about 2 feet tall and is being held in the zapdos' talons.

Naitsirhc says his own version of the team rocket motto, helpfully telling us that he's the son of Giovanni.  ^*

Sonichu asks him to release Rosechu, and Naitsirhc happily obliges and goes away. Wait, no, he decides to fight Sonichu. Of course.

Apparently, Rosechu's trainer had allowed Rosechu to go shopping at the mall earlier, so Sonichu went with her to make sure she didn't spend too much. Ah, yes, what a completely non-stereotypical obsession for Rosechu to have. Also, we get the first glimpse of Chris' pickle hatred as Sonichu practically goes into shock at the sight of one on his burger. Why should we care about this, again?

Well, whatever, the flashback is over, and Sonichu and the zapdos do battle. Interestingly enough, they do so by using badly-drawn pokemon attacks, with Chris helpfully telling us which ones they're using. Hey, that almost counts as clever.

The next page has a "countdown to the final blow". Sonichu rescues his shallow love interest while numbers randomly countdown in the background. The artwork here has to be seen to be believed. In one panel, it looks like Sonichu is ripping one of the legs of zapdos, but since zapdos has both legs attached on the next page, that's probably not the case.

Despite the fact that his zapdos seems just fine and he still has a perfectly good raikou, Naitsirhc pulls a Villain: Exit, Stage Left while swearing revenge. He doesn't seem all that angry that he was defeated, though. If anything, he looks stoned out of his mind. Actually, that's probably the best explanation for the way he's acting.

Rosechu's trainer Kel, along with Chris for some reason, appear out of nowhere to shout "hooray!" I suppose I should be thankful he's only making cameos at this point, but that does little to dull my pain. So Rosechu thanks Sonichu for saving her, and Kel congratulates Sonichu on his battling. Wait, she's been watching the whole time and didn't lift a finger to help her own pokemon? What an asshole.

Chris, who has gained about 60 pounds since the last page, "congradulates" Sonichu and helpfully informs us that he's the mayor of the place. Also, his right arm seems to be much larger than his left, and his legs are bent at an impossible angle. He should probably get that looked at.

The last page is probably the most self-indulgent page so far. Chris says that the comic book is probably his best work yet, and Sonichu agrees. Actually, I agree, but only in the sense that eating dog poo is preferable to being eaten to death by ants. The conversation then shifts so Chris's lack of a girlfriend. Sonichu tells him "Wow, all this creativity, and you don't have a girlfriend"? Do I even need to add anything to this? Chris informs Sonichu that he's going to keep trying, and drives off to the mall. In what is quite possibly the most honest self-assessment Chris has made, Sonichu simply notes to himself that Chris will probably fail again.

Are you not entertained?

I love the typos. It's so obvious that Chris doesn't bother proofreading at all, since his work is obviously perfect on the first try.

I think Naitsirhc is adopted. Also I find it hilarious that Chris thinks that hanging around the mall with a sign is the proper way to get a girlfriend.

Incidentally, I sent a few letters to Chris's mailbag(under fake names) none of which have been answered yet.

edited 31st Jan '10 1:07:06 PM by Myrmidon

Kill all math nerds

You know, bad writing, up (down?) to a certain level, can actually be very entertaining and uplifting to read, since pretty much nothing you will ever do can suck as much as what you read. Sonichu... on the other hand, not so much. I mean... Naitsirhc... for crying out loud, that's not a name, which I guess is ok, since he's hardly a character, like everyone else in this.. Of course, it'd be much more enjoyable weren't it for the maddening  ^*

forces at work behind the scenes

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@Sapphire Flame: Good job holding your sanity thus far. Now brace yourself for a Shadow ripoff and Robotnik performing showtunes.

@Penguin For Senate: It gets better. Wait until Angelica Rosechu's backstory.

@Myrmidon: Yeah, it seems the sysop only uploads a select few emails. I've sent at least 5 emails in the past (half of which involved posing as Raz), and only one email actually got answered.

edited 31st Jan '10 1:42:37 PM by Daionusthe23rd

Ah Sonichu, a work so horrid that even the summaries make me want kill my self.

Also wasn't Wicked supposed to Liveblog this after he was done with My Immortal?

Sorry, I can't hear you from my FLYING METAL BOX!

Nah, that's more boring than horrifying. Issue 8's is when thing go from bad to indescribable.

Also, is anyone planning on liveblogging Sailor Moon: American Kitsune?

Experience has taught me to investigate anything that glows.

I carefully designed my last letter to be as inflamatory as possible. I said that his fans would take it as an admission of homosexuality if he put into the rejected section. I'll wait a week to see if it gets uploaded, send it again, and then give up.

edited 31st Jan '10 2:42:11 PM by Myrmidon

Kill all math nerds

^^ I was talking about hilarious typos. Does "Lo0rd" ring a bell?

edited 31st Jan '10 3:18:41 PM by Daionusthe23rd

I hate to ask, but where can I find this webcomic, I'm a masochist, and after killing several brain cells looking throug Bad Fan Fics, I can't wait to torment myself with this comic's flaming pile of bigotry!

I'm a ghost, you didn't see me.

You can view it in two ways. First is the audiobooks, by Chris-chan trolls Vivian Gee and Dethchemist77, with an option for MST via the annotations. Go through these if you don't think you can handle reading Sonichu. The second, if you truly think you can handle it, is the Cwcipedia page. Beware, you may recieve mental scarring in the process.

I remember one of the "Dating Ed" bits being absolutely filled with typos. I mean, he was addressing a victim gal-pal and panning a troll in those pages, so you'd think he'd at least go over that. But no.

The audiobooks are great. Deth (and Vivian's) voices are scrumptious.

Vivian's voice? But Vivian never contributed for voices. That one sex-ed one with the female voice was Shiny Marshstomp.

edited 31st Jan '10 6:08:39 PM by Daionusthe23rd

There was one video ... here we go.

Sexy, sexy voices.

So that's Vivian's voice? Much higher than I expected. Also, the "sex scene" was hilarious.

edited 31st Jan '10 6:19:44 PM by Daionusthe23rd

I barely weeded myself out of there....and now, for some reason, I pity Chris, but also have a strong hatred out of him at the same time.

I'm a ghost, you didn't see me.

Speaking of the Dating Ed comic I think I hate Layla Flaafy more than I hate any other character, with the posible exception of Sonichu's kids. Actually the whole arc is anger-inducing.

edited 31st Jan '10 6:31:08 PM by Myrmidon

Kill all math nerds

Yawning Squirtle is pretty cool, though.

Experience has taught me to investigate anything that glows.

This is BEAUTIFUL

Your happiness is mine.

They should show videos of Chris to autistic kids. "This could happen to YOU.

Although the thing I hate about Chris is that he reinforces stereotypes. Just look at the comments for this youtube video.

edited 31st Jan '10 7:13:32 PM by Myrmidon

Kill all math nerds

By the way, if anyone would like to help, I'd be glad to let some other people help out. I'm not quite sure how this collaborative liveblog thing works, but I'm sure we can work something out.

Are you not entertained?

Well, there's no reason to make it complicated really, just make sure nobody double-books. I'm actually interested in doing a little bit myself, btw

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