Gallant and Goofus

Goofus takes his girlfriend to a strip club only to ditch her so that he can score with a cheap floozy.

Gallant knows the value of money.

edited 21st Jul '10 5:42:19 PM by CrowT.Robot

Goofus only knows of five finger discount.

Gallant likes pie

Goofus sets bakeries alight to destroy pie.

Gallant never bosses his friends around.

Goofus makes a friend, treats them well for a week, and than is nice to everybody around them while treating the friend like dirt for a month.

Gallant always asks permission to eat a cookie.

Goofus commits theft of over $5,000,000 worth of cookies, which he laces with heroin and sells on the black market.

Gallant always listens to family-friendly music.

^Goofus plots a heist that makes Michael Mann jealous.

^^Goofus listens to (c)rap.

Gallant takes his vitamins and eats his vegetables.

edited 21st Jul '10 5:52:57 PM by SeanMurrayI

Goofus takes his heroine and eats his floorboards

Gallant goes to church every sunday

Goofus spends his evenings drawing pentagrams on the floor and crying out to wicked pagan gods.

Gallant is respectful of people's differences.

edited 21st Jul '10 5:55:50 PM by CrowT.Robot

Goofus punched his father in the face for calling the Star Wars prequels "rubbish."

Gallant listens to classical music to maintain a calm sensibility and demeanor.

Goofus replaces Gallant's Mozart CD's with Cannibal Corpse

Gallant practices his musicianship every day.

Goofus plays the drums

Gallant showers every morning before school.

Goofus never showers and takes pride in his own stench.

Gallant used to be in the boyscouts.

Goofus used to be in Hell's Angels.

Gallant always acquires parent permission before using the Internet.

Goofus is cussing out n00bz and fags on Steam at a high school level.

Gallant abides by his parents' rule to not watch a PG-13 movie until he's 13.

Goofus watched Natural Born Killers in utero

Gallant listens to good, wholesome christian rock.

Goofus was detained at the Vatican along with Cradle Of Filth under the suspicion that they were "religious terrorists."

Gallant does not text and drive.

Goofus twitters while driving.

Gallant drinks cows milk.

Goofus milks his own mother.

Gallant plays chess at a championship level to develop his planning skills.

Goofus is the most vicious soccer player since Vinnie Jones.

Gallant chews food with his mouth closed.

edited 21st Jul '10 7:41:15 PM by SeanMurrayI

Goofus projectile-vomits all over the relatives

Gallent practices his fencing

Goofus swings his sword around willy-nilly, like Errol Flynn on speed.

Gallant lets his puppy sleep at the foot of his bed.

Goofus orders his mabari warhound to attack every passer-by it sees.

Gallant always updates his webcomic on time...once every single day.

Goofus updates his webcomic whenever the hell he feels like it...which is never.

Gallant has taken a part-time job to show how responsible he is.

Goofus has a full time job as a suicide bomber

Gallant knows not to feed the troll.

Goofus is the troll.

Gallant tells a teacher when he is threatened by another student.