Gallant and Goofus

Goofus works 24/7. That's 24 hours a week, 7 months a year.

Gallant occasionally gives into temptation or treats himself, but tries his best to stay in shape and eat right.

Edited by Starbug on Sep 13th 2018 at 11:47:49 AM

Goofus only eats food fried 6 times, each time with twice the batter, and only drinks soda.

Gallant sleeps for 8 hours every night.

Goofus never sleeps and his health is a complete wreck.

Gallant holds the enemy army long enough to let a group of refugees escape.

Goofus tosses the refugees directly into enemy fire.

Gallant doesn't look at SCP-096's face.

Goofus has never been looked at in the face by Gallant.

Goofus used to be a supervillain but he had a Heel–Face Turn and is now the world's greatest and coolest hero.

Gallant used to be a superhero but he had a Face–Heel Turn and is now the world's worst and uncoolest hero.

Gallant makes good YIAY answers.

Goofus just sends in "A LIGHT SWITCH" and "ME ME BIG BOY" regardless of what the question is.

Gallant makes a conscious effort to always be Nice to the Waiter.

Goofus would shoot the waiter in the leg, push him in the the jaw, and steals his wallet.

Gallant ships Tailgate and Cyclonus.

Goofus ships Tailgait and Cyclonus to Timbuktu.

Gallant is a demon but is still a good guy.

Edited by TheBlueHour on Sep 16th 2018 at 5:39:11 AM

Goofus is a god who abused his power to make the universe into a place so terrible that being devoured by a purple cosmic worm seems appealing.

Gallant doesn’t steal people’s hats.

Goofus kills people's hats.

Gallant uses his psychology degree to help people with their issues.

Most of those issues involve Goofus.

Gallant is an atheist, but he's not at all militant about it.

Goofus commits deicide in order to justify his atheism.

Gallant doesn’t summon satanic abominations he knows he can’t control - he only summons the ones he can.

Which does not include Goofus.

Gallant is nice to all animals, especially the ugly ones that no one else loves like stone fish, toads and humans.

Goofus punches all the animals.

Gallant leaves another prompt after answering the above Troper's prompt.

Goofus leaves it out.

Gallant is a good healer in Pv P games, and hands out heals to those who need it most.

Goofus only heals himself, then complains when the tank doesn't protect him.

Gallant lets his patients get a toy out of the toy chest when their checkup is done.

Goofus wears a disguise and beats people up, hoping to get more patients.

Gallant makes sure all his tests are of appropriate difficulty for the grade he teaches

Half of Goofus' tests could easily be solved by a kindergartener, and the other half require a master's degree at minimum to understand. Goofus sent them to the wrong classes as part of a "social experiment"/elaborate trolling job.

Gallant clears his browsing history nightly so no one can see his Internet habits.

Goofus never clears his child porn from his browsing history.

Gallant can shoot lasers out of his eyes and uses them to blow up child molesters.

Ah, so that's what happened to Goofus.

Gallant knows the difference between "social science experiment with willing volunteers" and "massive trolling of unwilling subjects", and sticks to the former.

Goofus abducts children in order to complete his experiments with bioweapons.

Gallant picks vacation spots he knows he’ll survive.

Goofus vacations on the Moon with no space suit. If he had survived, his next spots would have been "the bottom of the ocean", "inside a volcano", and "the Sun".

Gallant covers his mouth with the inside of his elbow when he sneezes.

Goofus spreads diseases.

Gallant is a lip reader, and does a good job, unless he is supposed to do a bad job.

Goofus indulges in Bad Lip Reading not because he can't hear, but because he thinks adding completely wrong subtitles is way funnier.

Gallant practices drawing the human body many times from many different perspectives.