Dragon Ball Z Abridged

"Daddy, I don't want to be on Namek anymore," is one of my all-time favorite reaction lines. That's stuck with me. In general, the writing from TFS is amazing.

• Broly: Kakarot killed Frieza. Kakarot's supposed to be strongest. But now Broly's strongest. And now you die—
• Vegeta: Excuse you. There's someone you've been ignoring this whole time.
• Broly: Broly's wife?
• Trunks: Well, I was actually the one who killed Frieza.
• Broly: That's hot.

There's a scattershot conversational tone to their writing that you just don't see in a lot of works. Their scenes jump around like actual people talking, while still conveying the information that needs to be conveyed.

I've always been fond of Freeza's counting the heroic cliches he has heard over the years. Especially once I realized his reaction to Goku's "I'm'ma deck you in thy schnozz" was a call back to it ("I'm sorry that's a new one.")

Both of those are great

But I think this also deserved mention:

My favorite joke is probably Vegeta's scream heard around Namek or the time Goku got hit in the dick so hard that Goten ceased to exist.

There are so many jokes to choose from.

I absolutely just love this abridged series.

You mean he got Marty McFly'd?

Goku getting hit in the nuts so hard that Goten ceases to exist reads differently now that the Buu arc's been cancelled.

Edited by TobiasDrake on Jul 4th 2021 at 6:25:58 AM

Damn. You're right.

Edited by HandsomeRob on Jul 4th 2021 at 6:33:05 AM

Well, Gokū did ate a Senzu, so Goten would have still been around, or at least that was the impression I got.

Edited by jouXIII on Jul 5th 2021 at 1:15:41 PM

Not to mention Goten still got born by Shortz 2.

And Chichi being pregnant just before the Cell games...

And the movies are pretty consistently non-canon in DBZA anyway.

It'll never happen now, but I wanted TFS to end the Bio-Broly movie with Bio-Broly being killed by a tidal wave from Aquaman, as revenge for the whales Nappa killed. It would be hilarious to do a call-back to one of their weirdest jokes like that, and Bio-Broly is the perfect shitpost of a movie to do it in.

Aquaman's revenge would be a fantastic Brick Joke for Bio-Broly, I agree.

So, there's this exchange between Frieza and Piccolo.

Frieza: I have a question for you though.

Piccolo: What's that?

Frieza: DIE.

Piccolo: ...That's... not... a... questio- *gets knocked into plateau*

Frieza: That's because I don't do requests.

I...don't really get the joke here, I'm afraid?

(Will have to note my amusement at Piccolo being stunned as though that was a real thing he was trying to answer.)

It's not a question.

Freezer doesn't make requests, he makes demands and gives orders.

Like when he ordered Piccolo to die. Then put him through a mountain.

Actually, that looks more like a plat-

*gets kicked into plateau by Freeza*

God, I love the writing and acting for Frieza. TFS and LittleKuriboh did a fantastic job in making him simultaneously hilarious yet utterly terrifying.

• Frieza: Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!
• Vegeta: (whines) You're the one that's hitting me.
• Frieza: Au contraire, Vegeta. You brought this upon yourself.

.

• Vegeta: That doesn't matter! Don't you understand?! If I didn't get my wish then I'm not immortal and Frieza's going to... going to.... (paralyzed with terror)
• Frieza: Oh, hohoho, no. Don't mind me. By all means, give me some ideas.

.

• Frieza: I believe I’m done. As entertaining a punching bag you make, I find there is no more enjoyment to be found here.
• Goku: Well, we could always play a game of 20 questions.
• Frieza: Alright then, first question: Are you about to die?
• Goku: No.
• Frieza: Ah-ah-ah. No lying.

I'm genuinely impressed by how, in this abridged parody of the series, they managed to preserve a lot of the tension and menace surrounding this character even while they were using comedy to defang many of his active threats and boasts.

• Frieza: It's been so long since I've had to use this form. It feels like an old suit I never have occasion to wear. Unfortunately, whenever I put it on, someone dies.
• Gohan: Dende, no!
• Frieza: Oh, don't cry for the poor thing. I've saved him the fate of seeing what I'm about to do to you.
• Vegeta: Joke's on you, he hated the bald one.
• Krillin: That's not fair! He only just met Piccolo.

Edited by TobiasDrake on Aug 2nd 2021 at 7:16:15 AM

Wait, didn't Dende hate Vegeta more than Krillin? I mean the latter's annoying but the latter's an genocidal egomaniac who seems to get crazier with each episode (Seriously, compare the first season's Straight Man to the "I AM THE HYPE" Vegeta).

Though, to be fair, Vegeta's saying this.

Edited by HBarnill on Aug 2nd 2021 at 9:05:25 AM

Notably, Dende refused to heal Vegeta due to his complicity in the Namekian genocide and had to be persuaded to do so by Piccolo. Meanwhile, Dende did willingly heal Krillin, but then lied and claimed Porunga had made Krillin immortal to encourage him to recklessly endanger himself.

Dende himself put it as, "[Gohan is] the only one I respect."

Edited by TobiasDrake on Aug 2nd 2021 at 9:16:25 AM

Dende hated both Krillin and Vegeta, but he definitely hated Vegeta more.

Also, when the time came for Frieza to get his, they pulled that off really well too. His karmic consternation with Goku is consistently hilarious and his breakdown against the Super Saiyan is cathartic. "Daddy, I don't want to be on Namek anymore," is one of my absolute favorite lines in the whole series.

They did a great job with Cell too. They really had their work cut out for them trying to give Cell a distinct voice separate from Frieza. Toriyama's villains tend to be pretty samey in terms of personality; they're all arrogant, sadistic, cruel monsters utterly convinced of their own omnipotence driven by the simple desire to be the most evil bastard ever. Perfect Cell is just a repeat of Frieza, who is Vegeta But More, who is Space Piccolo.

TFS's take on Cell was "What if a Xenomorph could talk and was vividly aware of its own metaphor?" and they retained that into his Perfect form. At the same time, their Cell has a delightful curiosity that betrays his youth as he enthusiastically explores his own abilities and design for the first time. "What IS that thing on my head? Would you call it a crown? I'm going to call it a crown."

"But I blew a hole in [Piccolo]! How durable is he?! ...how durable am I?!"

And his genuine fondness for Goku (as well as Yamcha, for some reason) stands in stark contrast to the other villains, for whom having to interact with Goku was their comeuppance.

TFS did a frankly Herculean job at making Cell stand out as his own unique character.

Edited by TobiasDrake on Aug 2nd 2021 at 9:34:58 AM

My favorite Freeza bit remains his counting the number of heroic cliches he's heard as the Namekian trio threaten him.

Going with how "interacting with Goku is their comeuppance, Goku gets the ball rolling with a line Freeza's never heard.

It makes total sense that Cell would actually like Goku, because he's part Goku.

Game recognizes game after all.