> 'Let's Play The PK Girl' Is Not A Valid Command.

Because I need some sort of pause to regain my sanity between liveblogging issues of Sonichu, let’s play The PK Girl. For those of you who’ve never heard of it, The PK Girl is a text-based visual novel played on ADRIFT Runner, which should explain it’s obscurity.

You play as a regular, mundane guy who gets wrapped up in a world of conspiracy and danger after witnessing the kidnapping of a young girl with amazing powers. It’s up to you to not only help her older sister Laurie rescue her, but take down the organization behind the kidnapping— and all while wooing your choice of eight local girls!

Since it’s a text-based game, putting in commands is how you play. You have access to a very large range of commands for interacting with your environment (such as run, kick, eat, talk, etc.), and the four cardinal directions (north, south, east, west) allow you to travel across the map, as well as up and down. If you can think of something to do, you can most likely do it, but you can only travel to rooms mentioned in the area description.

To make the LP more interactive, you will be deciding what I do. After every update, I’ll take suggestions on what to do in the area I’m in. Commands are entered in the ‘(action) item/person’ format, i.e. ‘take book’ or ‘talk to Carl’, and can get very specific in some cases. You can ask anyone about anything, but they might not know anything about it. Some conversations and choices will either net you points with one of the available love interests, or take points away if you say or do the wrong thing.

You can also pick up and carry around just about every item you come into contact with. You can even attack NPCs, if you choose to. Just assume you can do anything, no matter how nonsensical. Push the limits; be creative. There’s no penalty for trying something the game isn’t prepared for.

So, with all that out of the way, let’s begin.

CHAPTER 1

An Evening of Incident

>

Two tires roll to a halt on pavement. As you switch off the engine of your motorcycle, the hum decreases to a terminal choke that is replaced without interval by the sound of conversation and carefree laughter. Around you people are moving to and from an open double doorway up a ways to the north; the inviting entrance to Majesty Mall.

It is relatively early in the evening; the air is cool but not cold, and the night is not yet dark. This is that time when friends are want to meet together and pursue wholesome recreation in and around the grounds of the mall. Having an atmosphere conducive to pleasant joviality, Majesty Mall has always been a popular hangout, especially among the youth of Rittersburg City. However, your particular reason for stopping in tonight is to sample again the ice cream served by the best ice cream parlor in town.

Although four-wheeled vehicles do pass through, this autonomous spot of pavement is too narrow a place for them to stall. It is just right for bicycles and motorbikes such as yours. Beyond the capillaries and side streets that run off in three directions, the more major roads that make up the city can be seen, buildings of all shapes mingled among them. It's the heart of the metropolis that you've come to, or the equivalent for a city of this size. The object of your interest, Majesty Mall, lies north. Your motorcycle is properly parked on the pavement.

So, we’re sitting on our motorcycle in the mall parking lot. There’s pretty much nothing to do out here, so let’s move inside where there are people to irritate and shops to loiter in.

> north

(Getting off your motorcycle first) You move north.

Rittersburg may not be your hometown, but its nearness to your place of dwelling has made it possible for you to take this detour on your way back this evening. If what you have seen of the city so far is representative of it, quality ice cream parlors are only one element of an altogether agreeable place to live.

You stand at the mall's canopied entrance. There are retaining walls on either side leading up to an open double doorway just northward. These doors are always open. Perhaps because there are no other malls in this city, this one is always open late. A steady bi-directional stream of shoppers bustles about the entrance, while now and then a vehicle pulls up momentarily to pick up passenger or party.

> north

As you attempt to enter the mall, somebody bumps into you quite intentionally. "Well, don't I know you?", asks a dry voice.

It's Jerrick, the snide rich boy whom you only know because you had the privilege of running into him the last time you were at this mall's ice cream parlor. And his same two buddies, Vin and Gill, are with him. What terrible luck to be running into them all again.

"Now don’t tell me, your name was... well, wouldn’t you know, it hasn’t kept."

Our first meeting with the jerkass Jerrick. I seem to be missing my picture of him, but we’ll be seeing more of him before the story’s over anyway.

This is also where we get to name our faceless hero. His default name is Garrett, but let's do something different. Any suggestions?

Also, if you wanted to do something in the parking lot or around the entrance, feel free to throw out ideas for those areas as well. With the exception of two locations we'll get to much later, we can go to any location again as often as we like.

edited 7th Sep '10 2:37:50 PM by Swingyshark

>Conan

>Kick Jerrick

I tried to kick Jerrick◊ before giving him my name, but the game took it to mean the hero’s name was Kick Jerrick, which is actually kind of cool. I reset, and get the prompt to name him again. Our hero is now known as...

> Conan

"Conan, was it? No wonder I forgot. Well, Conan, is it life in the loser lane as usual?" And without giving you space to retort, he continues, "No, don't answer. I can tell just from looking at you. Well, I didn't come here to dawdle with his kind. Let's go, fellows."

With that he pushes his way past you and departs with his two friends. You step into the mall.

Press enter to continue

>

Majesty Mall South End

The interior of the mall is spacious, with several yards separating the shops on the west from the shops on the east. The ceiling, too, reaches to a good height. The lighting is dim, but not excessively so. There is a bookstore to the west, a software shop to the east, and more mall extending to the north. The mall's exit is south.

Alright, let’s give this assbat a kick for calling Conan a loser!

> kick jerrick

You kick, but nothing happens.

...Weaksauce. Probably because he’s already walked off with his goons. We’ll see him again soon, though, and give him a proper beating. For now, let’s check out the rest of the mall.

> north

You move north.

Majesty Mall Center

This, the center of the mall, is occupied and graced by a beautiful fountain around which is a bench that patrons may sit on to rest or to wait for acquaintances. It is the focal point of the building. An ice cream parlor is to the west, a women's clothing store is to the east, and the mall continues on north and south.

A girl is sitting on the bench with her hands in the lap of her dress.

Do tell. Let’s get a better look at the girl.

> look girl

The girl is clothed in a silky blue dress. Long vibrant hair cascades over her shoulders and down her back. Her countenance seems to reflect all feminine virtue, inclusive of kindness, empathy, and consciousness of time and place. Her deportment is modest, and there is propriety in the way she patiently sits waiting for someone, a gallant knight to ride up and sweep her off her feet perhaps. Certainly that cannot be the case, nor do you look anything like a knight, but since when was there ever harm in entertaining a fanciful thought?

Press enter to continue

>

Say hello to the first of our love interest harem.◊ We’ll get to know her and her friends in a little bit. For now, there are shops to poke around in, shoppers to harass, and more. Where do we go, guys?

There are six stores total in the mall: Two near the entrance (bookstore and software shop), two in this room with the fountain (ice cream parlor and ladies clothing), and two more at the far end of the mall (jewelry and an arcade). Don’t forget we also have the parking lot and entrance area.

>put it in

edited 9th Sep '10 2:02:16 PM by Charlatan

>W

YAY FOR ICE CREAM! Also, I hope this game has a character saying, "I'm gonna go to Conan's house!" So if you put in "Kick Jerrick" as the name...

When you get ice cream, ask for Oregon Strawberry. I don't know if it matters in-game (I've played it before), or even if it's considered a valid flavor, but MAN that is a good flavor of ice cream.

edited 10th Sep '10 10:10:21 PM by Sivartis

No, ask for Cookie Dough! I love those Reese's Peanut Butter Cup-shaped thingies in it.

Will it take "lavender"? I hear it's, how you say, "oishii".

Alright, let’s see what horrible things we can to do this girl.

> put it in

(Absolutely nothing)

Where do you want to put that?

Take a random guess, ADRIFT.

> put it in girl

(Absolutely nothing)

I don’t understand what you want to put things inside.

I thought I made myself pretty clear on that one, but whatever. I tried a few other variations on the command, but it just spit back the same line about not understanding what I want to put it in, so I guess ADRIFT is cockblocking us.

I wait about three turns before the girl’s friends show up and they go into the ice cream parlor. Like any good gentleman, we’re going to stalk them. Ice cream is kinda what we came here for anyway, and if we get to ogle a herd of girls in the process, that’s fine by me.

> west

You move west.

Ice Cream Parlor

The ice cream served in this shop is excellent; it more than justifies a trip to this mall, even if the route is slightly out of the way. Ordering a cone is easy but deciding on a flavor sometimes proves time-consuming. There are wooden stools by the counter for patrons to sit on while they eat and order, and a couple tables a little farther back. The exit to the ice cream parlor is east.

The shopkeeper is behind the counter, tending to duties.

A golden-haired girl is at a table a little ways off.

A shorter girl is sitting with her.

A younger girl is also with them.

You can hear the girls talking, although you can't tell exactly what they are saying.

"Welcome!" says the shopkeeper in a highly friendly tone of voice.

We only have a little bit of pocket money, but eh, we’ve got enough for ice cream.

> talk to shopkeeper

“Ah, would you like to order an ice cream cone?” asks the shopkeeper in a bright and friendly voice.

1) Yes

2) No

> 1

“What flavor would you like in that, sir?” asks the shopkeeper.

What flavor do you choose?

Well, Sivartis wants Oregon strawberry, so let’s try that and see where it gets us.

> Oregon strawberry

“Did you say strawberry? Please have a seat, sir, while I prepare your order.” The shopkeeper goes to scoop your order.

Holy crap, did that seriously work? I didn’t think the game was gonna accept that. Maybe think I was asking for Oregon-flavor or something. Lemme reset and see if it takes Reecer’s order, too.

“What flavor would you like in that, sir?” asks the shopkeeper.

What flavor do you choose?

> cookie dough

“You’d like chocolate chip cookie dough? Please have a seat, sir, while I prepare your order.” The shopkeeper goes to scoop your order.

SWEET SASSY MOLASSY, IT WORKS. They have seriously planned for this shit.

However, they didn’t plan for everything. Asking for lavender flavor just confuses the shopkeeper and gets us the default ‘I don’t understand what you’re asking for’ reply. Sorry, Nyperold.

I know I shouldn’t, because it’s no fun, but I popped open the game’s debug mode to look at the flavors programmed in, because damn if I’m not curious now.

It’s not a massive list, but it’s a lot more detailed than I thought it would be. There’s a few things on here I didn’t even know were ice cream flavors. Nothing like lavender, though. It’s all pretty vanilla. [/bad pun]

You can even ask the shopkeeper for a sample before ordering, but he only gives samples of black raspberry. Still, that’s pretty awesome.

Anyway, the girls are ogling us now.

In the corner of your vision you glimpse one of the girls eyeing you, but her head is turned by the time you take a look.

It’ll be a while before something interesting happens, so let’s just wait a bit.

> wait

Time passes...

The shopkeeper is opening the glass bins and looking for your flavor.

> wait

Time passes...

The shopkeeper is scooping strawberry ice cream onto a cone.

The three girls are chatting and giggling away.

Better ask him to put it in a cup, or this is going to turn into a big waste of our very limited money supply here in the next few turns.

> ask shopkeeper for a cup

“You want a cup with that?”, repeats the shopkeeper, smiling brightly as ever. “Remind me after I scoop your cone. I have a tendency to forget.”

“There you go, sir!” says the shopkeeper, extending to you a strawberry-flavored ice cream cone.

First, I did ask after you scooped it, and second, where’s my cup? You do have a bad memory; I just asked for it!

> ask shopkeeper for a cup

“You want a cup with that?”, repeats the shopkeeper, smiling brightly as ever.

YES, I WANT A CUP. I WOULDN’T ASK IF I DIDN’T.

“Well, that can be arranged!”

I certainly hope so, or you have just lost a customer, sir.

The shopkeeper takes a paper cup from somewhere and plops the ice cream cone upside-down into it. He leaves the cup on the counter for you to retrieve.

Damn right he does.

You can hear the girls talking, although you can’t hear what they’re saying.

That’s nice, but unless the girls are made of ice cream and sitting in paper cups, I don’t care right now.

> take cup

You take the ice cream up from the counter.

FINALLY, OUR QUEST IS COMPLETE! GAME OVER.

Okay, not really.

We’ll just hold on to this for now. It’s a good gift for one of the girls later, or we could just eat it somewhere down the line. Food lasts forever in your inventory. Either way, we paid for it and there’s no sense in leaving it behind.

Speaking of girls, we might as well see what they’re up to. Like we get a choice.

The girls are still giggling but they seem to have quieted a bit.

Alright. I should probably look at them while I still have a chance to, huh?

> look short girl

Which girl. The golden-haired girl, the shorter girl or the younger girl?

...There’s only one girl defined as short. Do I seriously have to get that much more specific? FINE. Have it your way, ADRIFT!

> look shorter girl

She's about the same age as the golden-haired girl, whom she seems to be best friends with. She has tender eyes and a warm smile.

That’s nice.

> look younger girl

She is a cute girl about three years younger than the other two, with a white bow in her hair. She is giggling and chatting along with the others as if they are siblings.

You don’t say.

Two more additions to our harem! The short girl◊ is the best friend of our heroine while the young girl◊ is her little sister. We’ll get to know them better in the chapters to come, so for now, let’s wait around some more.

> wait

Time passes...

EXCITING!

> wait

Time passes...

DYNAMIC.

> wait

Time passes...

You're mostly sure you just caught another girl looking at you, but now they are talking amongst themselves quietly, smiles on their faces.

That can’t be good.

> wait

Time passes...

You feel the eyes of all three girls on you from across the room.

Admittedly, I came in here to stare at them, but they’re getting creepy with this shit. Let’s just, uh. Loiter some more. Yeah. Maybe they’ll leave.

> wait

Time passes...

Suddenly there is a flurry of noise. Two men dressed in dark raincoats burst into the parlor and rush towards the table where the girls are sitting. In an instant they have the younger girl by her arms and are hauling her away. So unexpected is this occurrence that no one, not even yourself, is there to check the malefactors as they move for the exit.

Female screams ring out in the parlor as the young girl and her kidnappers disappear out into the mall. "Cassie!!!", they cry.

Press enter to continue

OHNOEZ!

> CHAPTER TWO

Rescuing Cassandra

>

The golden-haired girl comes running up to you and grabs hold of your arm. "Help!!", she pleads.

1) "I'll do my best."

2) "I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do for you."

3) "No time to chat, we've got to go after those men!"

Decisions, decisions. Will Conan step up and help a damsel in distress, or is this chick on her own? We do have ice cream to eat after all, and in the end, isn’t that what really matters?

edited 13th Sep '10 10:57:38 AM by Swingyshark

3. CHARGE!

3. LEEROOOOOOOOOOY.....NNJENNNNNNKIIIIIIIINNNNNS!

3. DEATH OR GLORY!

3. NO TIME TO CHAT!!

But maybe do 2, just to see what happens? Or is this a But Thou Must! moment?

edited 14th Sep '10 3:51:13 PM by Reecer6

Hmm... the "jump into things" option appears to be leading, but I'll suggest:

1. "Ganbarimasu!" (Or whatever the conjugation is.)

Sorry for the delay in updates. I try to pace them so that everybody has a chance to throw out their ideas, and this is actually a pretty short game, for the most part. Even with courting girls, if you know what you're doing, playing this through to completion only takes maybe an hour and a half, tops.

But, back to the story.

Option 3 won with an overwhelming majority, so that’s the one we’re going to go with for story purposes. Here’s options 1 and 2, for those who wanted them.

Option One:

1) "I'll do my best."

2) "I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do for you."

3) "No time to chat, we've got to go after those men!"

> 1

"Thank you", she replies emphatically. "We must hurry." She is ready to follow you.

"Be careful, Laurie!", her friend says from behind.

That’s not bad. Not the best option, but not bad at all.

Option Two:

1) "I'll do my best."

2) "I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do for you."

3) "No time to chat, we've got to go after those men!"

> 2

The girl turns away with tears in her eyes. You feel that you have not done the right thing in refusing her.

Aw. You shouldn’t have been so cruel, Conan!

Turns out, this is indeed a But Thou Must! moment, and talking to Laurie again prompts you to make another choice and change your mind. Shame, because having Conan walk out with his ice cream and forget all that ever happened would be awesome. A sort of Nonstandard Game Over. Conan would be an asshole of Jerrick proportions, but still.

> talk to laurie

1) "I'll do my best."

2) "I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do for you."

3) "No time to chat, we've got to go after those men!"

> 3

The girl nods her head with determination. The chase is on!

"Be careful, Laurie!", her friend says from behind as the two of you turn towards the exit.

They completely forget I just told Laurie she’s on her own. Whatever, works for me. Oddly enough, no matter what you pick, you neither gain nor lose points with any of the girls.

> east

You rush out into the mall...

Majesty Mall Center

This, the center of the mall, is occupied and graced by a beautiful fountain around which is a bench that patrons may sit on to rest or to wait for acquaintances. It is the focal point of the building. An ice cream parlor is to the west, a women's clothing store is to the east, and the mall continues on north and south.

South in the distance, amidst surprised onlookers, you can make out the flurry of kidnappers exiting the mall.

Laurie follows you from the west.

We actually have no choice but to chase the kidnappers all the way out. I’ll skip the repetitive room descriptions for the mall sections until we get outside, since they’re all exactly the same as they were in the last update anyway.

Once we reach the Mall Entrance, we get this helpful notice:

> south

You move south.

As you leave the mall you can see a helicopter lifting off ahead.

That’s the helicopter carrying Cassie away, just so you know. Better... run after it or something.

> south

You move south.

The helicopter elevates and turns to face west in the direction of the city. Perhaps you could follow it on your...?! Someone has sabotaged your motorcycle!

Wha- Who touched my kickass bike?! Do you know how long I had to work to afford that damn thing?! BITCHES AND WHORES ALL OF YOU.

...Uh, no offense, Laurie.

Well, fuck. What now? Guess we just stand here and watch Cassie’s kidnappers win.

> wait

Time passes...

Sure sucks when you can’t save the girl, eh? Well, we’re not all meant to be heroes. Better luck next game, Conan!

> wait

Time passes...

The helicopter shrinks as it continues westward. Will the criminals get away so conveniently?

It’s looking that way. You’re sure not going to catch my fat ass running after a damn helicopter, no matter how many hot girls make sad faces at me.

> wait

Time passes...

"Try starting the motorcycle anyway", says Laurie.

1) "That would be pointless!"

2) "I suppose I could try it again."

THAT’S DUMB AND STUPID but it’s another of those But Thou Must! moments, so let’s save ourselves an update and show both options. Neither make a difference in the story or in your score with her.

Option One:

1) "That would be pointless!"

2) "I suppose I could try it again."

> 1

"Just try it," she pleads, "maybe it will work." And it looks like she really means it.

The helicopter is now barely visible in the sky. There is still a chance for some kind of pursuit.

Option Two:

1) "That would be pointless!"

2) "I suppose I could try it again."

> 2

“Yes, please do,” she implores. “It will work this time.” That seems unlikely, but she appears to believe it.

The helicopter is now barely visible in the sky. There is still a chance for some kind of pursuit.

Damn skippy there is. Whoever messed with my bike is lucky it still works, but unlucky because I’m going to run them over with it when I find them.

But, for now, we better follow that chopper.

> start motorcycle

(Sitting on the motorcycle first)

Laurie gets on behind you. Putting your faith in Laurie's improbable hope that the motorcycle will somehow work despite its current condition, you try starting up the engine....and it works! Laurie seems not to be surprised at all by such a miracle. As you zip through the city streets in pursuit of the helicopter that you can see far ahead in the night sky, she mutters only, "My sister...they finally got you..."

Press enter to continue

Aw. Don’t worry, Laurie, we’ll get her back! Maybe. We’ll try, anyway. Just don’t get your hopes up, girl.

>

After you have raced through much of the city, you see the helicopter begin to descend beyond a hill by a bridge up ahead. You pass over the bridge and bring your bike to a halt. By the time your engine dies, only the sound of sparse traffic passing over the bridge can be heard. The helicopter is nowhere to be seen.

That sucks. We followed it all this way for nothing.

Roadside

This is the north side of a road that runs east to west on the outskirts of the city. Traffic on this road is moderate, with every now and then a vehicle zooming past and leaving the sound of its passage reverberating in the air. Langston Bridge, which you recently passed over, is to the east. Your motorcycle is parked here.

Might as well get walking. There’s nothing to do around here anyway, and we need to try and find that helicopter.

> east

(Getting off your motorcycle first)

You move east.

Bridge Landing

The bridge that supports the road that you traveled by to reach these parts of the city begins here and continues on to the east. It is possible to climb over the north railing and onto a hill beyond which you can just barely see the lights of the city.

Laurie follows you from the west.

Laurie has climbed down from your motorcycle.

I’d assume so, since following me on my motorcycle while I'm on foot would be rude.

> north

Laurie climbs over the railing with you...

Top of the Hill

You are at the top of a grassy hill that overlooks the city to the north and west, and the river to the east. The view might be considered romantic under different circumstances. To the south is Langston Bridge. Not far off below the hill, in the immediate parts of the city, some buildings are visible, one of which is larger than the rest.

Laurie steps forward and looks out over the darkened city below where her sister must surely be, shivering a little because the night has grown noticeably colder.

"I had almost managed to convince myself that they wouldn't come again, that we could finally live in safety." Her voice is faint. She seems to be talking to herself as much as to you.

"It isn't the first time that they tried to kidnap her. It's just the first time that they succeeded. They finally succeeded. And now with our parents away.... " Her voice trails off.

1) "You owe me an explanation."

2) "Who are they?"

3) "We'll get her back. I promise."

It’s time for Sappy Story Korner, with Laurie! How does Conan feel about this display of squishy, female emotion?

3. Ever the gallant hero!

2. It's what I would ask, albeit slightly more polite.

Option three is a winner yet again, but first, let’s see what’s behind door number two!

> talk to laurie

1) "You owe me an explanation."

2) "Who are they?"

3) "We'll get her back. I promise."

> 2

"The kidnappers", she begins, "They want, I mean, what they are..." She pauses.

"This is no ordinary kidnapping, if there is such a thing. And my sister...She is no ordinary girl. What she has that the kidnappers want... I don't know exactly how to explain this. My sister, you see, there are special powers that she has always had. Well, ever since she developed them in her childhood. And they want her for that reason. We thought that we could escape by moving here. But there is nowhere we can go where they aren't. I was afraid this day would come."

Ah, so that’s why Cassie got snatched. The bad guys want her for her powers. Let’s reset and see what else Laurie has to say about all this.

> talk to laurie

1) "You owe me an explanation."

2) "Who are they?"

3) "We'll get her back. I promise."

> 3

"I hope so". Comforted by your words she faces you and tries to smile. But her expression only becomes more serious.

"I must tell you", she begins. This is no ordinary kidnapping, if there is such a thing. And my sister...She is no ordinary girl. What she has that the kidnappers want... I don't know exactly how to explain this. My sister, you see, there are special powers that she has always had. Well, ever since she developed them in her childhood. And they want her for that reason. We thought that we could escape by moving here. But there is nowhere we can go where they aren't. I was afraid this day would come."

Uh, just what do they want with her, anyway? Sure, she’s a magic loli, but there has to be something more specific.

Now’s our chance to find out. The conversation’s not done, as we still have two more pauses in dialogue where our answers are needed. To keep the next update from being barely a paragraph long, I’m just going to post the two answer sets and you guys can tell me what to say from here.

After Laurie tells us her sister is magic, we get this prompt:

1) "Wait, what powers does your sister have?"

2) "What exactly do they want with your sister?"

3) "Are you telling me the truth?"

After Laurie answers our questions, we’ve obviously got to comfort her somehow. The second prompt determines how we do that, and we might just score some love points if we say the right thing.

Our choices are:

1) "Just leave it to me."

2) "Take it easy. We'll get her back. Trust me."

3) "Let's go then."

A bit strange to give the last answer set without full context, I know, but just roll with it. I’ll try to keep from doing it whenever I can, but I’d feel like it would be a bit of a ripoff if I threw out updates with less than 100 words, which is where this one and the next were heading.

Just think, if your adorable, magical girl sister were kidnapped, what would you want the (presumably) cute guy helping you save her to say?

Let's see.

"Leave it to me" always makes it sound like the speaker is going to do it alone; obviously not the case.

"We'll get her back"... well, you, the player, might know that the game likely won't let you win without saving her (or will it?), but a character being so optimistic within the game would kinda rub me the wrong way. But I'm not a girl.

"Let's go, then" seems to me the best option. Hey, she's coming along, anyway...

I'll go with 2 for both prompts. We want to be Captain Optimistic, Mr. Reassuring!

I swear I didn't forget about this.

Looks like option two is making a comeback. Let’s see what Laurie thinks of our suave conversational skills.

1) "Wait, what powers does your sister have?"

2) "What exactly do they want with your sister?"

3) "Are you telling me the truth?"

> 2

"I do not know for sure. I do not even care. I love my sister! They cannot do this to her. I want her back!"

1) "Just leave it to me."

2) "Take it easy. We'll get her back. Trust me."

3) "Let's go then."

> 2

"But we do have to hurry!", she insists. "They could be taking her anywhere!". Laurie looks out over the hill again and back at you impatiently. She takes a deep breath and says, "I...should stay calm. Only it's hard to when my sister is in jeopardy. Lead the way. I will follow."

Alternately, picking option three on the last prompt gets us this:

> 3

You sense that you have assuaged her anxiety to a small extent. Anyway, she is ready to follow you down the hill.

We’re still not getting any points, though. This girl is hard to please. Let’s get out of here.

> down

You move down.

Bottom of the Hill

Down here where the slope lessens, very little can be seen of the city, the river, or anything. Some largish stones are embedded into the ground at the foot of the hill, which looms above like a tolerant titan. A vacant lot can be reached by travelling to the west.

Laurie follows you from above.

> east

You move east.

Top of the Hill

You are at the top of a grassy hill that overlooks the city to the north and west, and the river to the east. The view might be considered romantic under different circumstances. To the south is Langston Bridge. Not far off below the hill, in the immediate parts of the city, some buildings are visible, one of which is larger than the rest.

Laurie follows you from below.

I feel like I could make a dirty joke about her following me 'from below', with all the times they're going to bring it up.

> east

The hill can be descended to the west.

But I want to see the river.

> east

The hill can be descended to the west.

HILLS CAN GO TWO DIRECTIONS. I KNOW SO.

> east

The hill can be descended to the west.

FINE, I’ll go west! But I won’t like it.

> west

You move west.

Bottom of the Hill

Down here where the slope lessens, very little can be seen of the city, the river, or anything. Some largish stones are embedded into the ground at the foot of the hill, which looms above like a tolerant titan. A vacant lot can be reached by travelling to the west.

Laurie follows you from above.

A vacant lot, you say?

> west

You move west.

Vacant Lot

This is a small parking lot, or something of that nature. It is not clear exactly what the space is used for, if anything, as there are no vehicles or buildings directly near it. However, a large building can be seen farther west. A darkened back street to the north frightens away lone travellers and old ladies.

Laurie follows you from the east.

They keep mentioning this large building. It’s like they’re trying to tell us something... Probably nothing important, though. Let’s wander aimlessly some more. That’ll get things done.

> north

You move north.

Deserted Street

This back street runs through a mostly deserted part of town. The neighborhood is not a nice one and probably not a friendly one either. The general condition of buildings and the street itself is poor. If there were people sitting about it, which there aren't, it would be difficult to picture them smiling. North is a run-down gas station and south is an empty lot. To the east the river is almost visible. The street continues on west.

Laurie follows you from the south. "I do not like this street. It is too quiet", she whispers.

It would be quiet if you quit nit-picking. I mean, there’s not even anyone here. We’re chasing kidnappers; man up, Laurie.

> west

You move west.

Street in Front of Bar

The street continues on east and west. The area north is occupied by a dingy bar. To the south is an alley. A solitary lamppost stands at a corner, partially lighting this darkened street. It could do with some company.

Laurie follows you from the east.

Look, nobody here, either. Unless, what, is the streetlight giving you the creeps or something? I’ll fight it; I think I can take it on.

> punch lamppost

Who do you think you are, Mike Tyson?

No, I think I’m Conan, and CONAN SMASH LIGHT  ^*

> kick lamppost

You kick the lamppost, but nothing happens.

...Conan sad. Conan drown sorrows now.

> north

Lights and sounds from within prove that the bar is still open. You step up to open the door but Laurie grabs your sleeve.

"Please do not go in there." She says. Hoping that you will do the 'right thing', she releases her grip.

UNHAND ME, WOMAN. I do what I want. I’m the Juggernaut Conan, bitch.

> north

"I'll just wait out here", says a resigned Laurie. You enter the bar, but she does not enter with you.

Bar

The interior of this simple bar is dimly lit by two lights hanging from the ceiling. Shelves full of drinks line the wall behind the serving counter. There are three stools in front of it. There is some kind of ornament on one of the walls. Another room is to the west and the exit to the bar is south.

The bartender is behind the counter.

A scraggly man is sitting on a bar stool.

A stout man is sitting on an adjacent bar stool.

A young man is leaning against a wall apart from the others, with arms folded.

Some of the denizens acknowledges your entering the bar with a curt lifting of their chins. The scraggly man, who has been talking to the bartender seems to be in the middle of an anecdote. "And of course, you know I wasn't going to take that. Not from her", he says.

"Yeah, so then what?", asks the bartender in a voice dry with boredom.

Alright, let’s check out the guys. We’re not getting anywhere with Laurie; maybe it’s time to start looking for love somewhere new.

> look scraggly man

He is a tall scraggly man that could use a good shave all about his face. He is garbed in blue, both top and bottom, and his clothes are grimy from having just walked out of the workplace, wherever that is for him. Even though the man's appearance is dirty, he seems like he could be a good-natured fellow.

At least he seems nice. Maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea after all...

> look stout man

He is a large stout man with sparse black hair, whose arms are bare and tattooed, and who seems apt mostly to stare downwards at his drink or at the floor, talking little. There is a continual scowl on his face.

...But I’ve been wrong before. Something tells me he’d sooner punch us than talk to us. Next!

> look young man

He is a tall young man of dark complexion. His manner is aloof. His eyes thick, penetrating eyes seldom stray. There is an atmosphere of nonchalance about him.

And the third one was just right.◊

> talk to young man

He looks up at you as your approach. "What's on your mind, chief?" he asks.

1) "I'm looking for the bathroom actually."

2) "Nothing much."

3) [Tell him about the kidnapping]

The first two options just gives our new pal a chance to call Conan ‘chief’ some more and deliver clever one-liners suggesting that we leave. If we tell him about the kidnapping, however...

> 3

"Well that's downright serendipitous, your stumbling into me. Yes, I can help you. And more than that, you're gonna help me."

1) "Huh? I've hardly told you anything yet."

2) "I doubt it."

3) "Who are you?"

...I like where this is going.

What’s the word, readers? Should we trust this handsome stranger, or should we go find Laurie before she gets picked up by a pimp or something? And what of the other men? Should we see if either of them are of any help?

3! You can't do someone a favor before you know their name.

Yeah, 3. Cautious, but not flippant.

I'll be the third to vote for 3. The other options sound like they'll only drive him away, and he seems to be the only guy you know that'd be willing to help you against a bunch of kidnapping thugs. I mean, would you rather be backed by a lady scared of mere bar patrons?

No, seriously, I swear I haven't forgotten about this. I'm just an easily-distracted person.

But for all your patience, you get... a really short update! Can't really be helped; this is just one of those points in the game where they give you lots of prompts one after the other. I tried to pad it out a bit, but...

Either way, enough of that. Let's see who our man of mystery is.

"Well that's downright serendipitous, your stumbling into me. Yes, I can help you. And more than that, you're gonna help me."

1) "Huh? I've hardly told you anything yet."

2) "I doubt it."

3) "Who are you?"

> 3

"'Dustin' is my name. You don't have to tell me yours, Chief." Then he slaps you on the shoulder and heads for the door, turning once only to say, "We'll meet again. Be there."

Dustin exits the bar.

"Samson got the same threshold for how mucha your stories he can take in a day that I got. And the both of us is at our limits."

Samson chuckles a little underneath some grunting. The scraggly man shrugs and says, "Don't know what you mean. I haven't but said the same thing I always say. You get nothing new out of me."

The bartender nods knowingly.

It’ll be a while before we see Dustin again. We didn’t really have to meet him, but the characters in this game are fairly interesting, so we’ll be meeting them all at least once this LP.

In the meantime, let’s pad out this update and check out the western room.

> west

You move west.

Pool Room

This back room of the bar has little to offer to anyone who is not a fan of pool. The pool table stands among shadows and rickety shelves holding old trophies. East is the only exit.

Ominous.

There are a few things here we can pick up that might be useful later on, so let’s get looting. First up, one of the billiard balls.

> look pool table

It looks like a standard pool table, a couple feet off the ground, with a green felt surface, and a hole at each corner. But where are the balls and cues? You can see none of that.

Maybe they’re in one of the holes?

> look in hole

There is nothing intrinsically special about any of the holes on the pool table. You peek into the nearest one. It is empty.

...Or not. It might show up here in another chapter, so we’ll move on and check back later.

Next, monies!

> look trophies

There are many trophies of various shapes and sizes, corresponding to different athletic activities that somebody somewhere excelled at.

There should be a little change stuffed behind these old trophies. We’ll need all the money we can get.

> move trophies

You can't move the trophies.

Okay, uh. How about…

> look behind trophies

You look behind the trophies and find that somebody left $1.50 there! Must have been someone who lost a bet and didn't want to pay up completely. You pocket the money.

Zing! Might not seem like a lot, but in crazy PK Girl-world, a buck-fitty will buy quite a lot. Also, expect me to suck miserably at finding things hidden behind other things. The commands for finding hidden stuff (especially money) are usually really specific, and if you don't get it just right, you're out of luck.

Having successfully looted the bar, let’s go check and see if Laurie’s alright.

> south

You move south.

Street in Front of Bar

The street continues on east and west. The area north is occupied by a dingy bar. To the south is an alley. A solitary lamppost stands at a corner, partially lighting this darkened street. It could do with some company. Laurie is waiting for you under the lamppost.

Gradually Laurie tilts her head sideways and asks, "Are you done in there yet? My sister is being held somewhere and there is no time for carousing." She fails to keep indignation completely out of her tone.

1) "Hey, valuable information can sometimes be gleaned from hanging out in bars."

2) "After just one more drink. Hang on... Just kidding!"

3) "Yes, I'm sorry about that."

Turns out, she’s alive! And pissed we ditched her to hang with guys in a bar. Will we defuse the situation, or irritate Laurie further?