Follow TV Tropes

Following

My Superhero Academy

Go To

Blueace Surrounded by weirdoes from The End Of the World Since: Dec, 2010 Relationship Status: Chocolate!
Surrounded by weirdoes
#2776: Oct 31st 2018 at 4:09:52 PM

Sam just felt awkward maybe being by himself, until he saw a familiar face. Sitting close to Lucy and Lin, the ice boy decided to just wave at them, as he tried to make himself comfortable.

Okay, it's just a dumb movie, so, relax and try to have a good time He told himself, even if a big boom may be a bit much for him right now.

Wake me up at your own risk.
kkhohoho Deranged X-Mas Figure from The Insanity Pole Since: May, 2011 Relationship Status: Pining for the fjords
Deranged X-Mas Figure
#2777: Oct 31st 2018 at 5:29:58 PM

Megaplix — It Begins

By this point the lights had fully dimmed, and — after the film proudly displayed its title in large wrinkly letters with a nuclear explosion and a giant chainsaw in the background, the movie began in earnest...


Winkleheimer XII: The Winkling

"Oh, Dave, how could you?!"

A young woman in an old fashioned dress stood next to a young man in a polo shirt outside of what was presumed to be his house. She was sobbing up a storm, almost to the point of laughability. Her voice was somehow stilted and over the top all at once, almost as though the actress who played her had never once acted a day in her life. The man was much the same way. On top of that, rather than being shot on location, they were on a soundstage of all things. One could even see a badly painted backdrop behind them with a small mic hanging just overhead. And the music was like someone farting through a kazoo. Truly the Winkleheimer saga had seen better days.

In any case, the woman was still sobbing. Almost as though she believed she'd get paid more the more hysterical she behaved. "Oh, Dave! How could you do this to me?! We have been seeing each other for exactly one year, three months, two weeks, seven days, and sixty minutes, have exposed our deepest darkest secrets to each other, and have gotten involved in all sorts of sexy and kinky hijinks! Only now you're seeing someone else?! Why Dave, WHY?!"

"Sorry babe," said Dave, "but I'm just not into you. Not anymore. I've found someone better. Someone who really gets me. Not like you. Not like someone who won't even bother to make me breakfast or be a baby making machine! Not! Like! YOU!"

By this point the woman had completely broken down and was kneeling on the ground, her tears verging on becoming a small puddle. "Oh, Dave! You MONSTER!" And then, in the most convincing performance her actress gave thus far, she slowly looked up at him, her eyes brimming with fury. Or at least that was the intent. It was more like she was constipated than anything else. "I will not let you do this to me! You're going to pay, you hear me? YOU'RE GOING TO PAY! The curse of the Winkle shall soon be upon you!"

Dave merely laughed it off. Or rather he made several awkward grunts that vaguely sounded something like laughter. "Fuck you, bitch!" He then slapped her hard, though if one looked closely, they could see he actually waved his hand next to her face as she fell back of her own accord. "You mess with me, you're gonna pay! Winkle or no Winkle!" He walked off, the girl glaring at him all the while. One way or another, they would both feel the full terror of... THE WINKLE.

Doctor Who — Long Way Around: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13536044/1/Doctor-Who-Long-Way-Around
Blueace Surrounded by weirdoes from The End Of the World Since: Dec, 2010 Relationship Status: Chocolate!
Surrounded by weirdoes
#2778: Oct 31st 2018 at 6:25:15 PM

Sam could only stare at the screen like an idiot.

"Well, I did say some stupid would be good" He said, a bit flatly "Didn't expect this much"

Wake me up at your own risk.
kablammin45 Prim, proper, and yet so socially awkward from Misty Brook (Don’t ask) Relationship Status: I won't say I'm in love
Prim, proper, and yet so socially awkward
#2779: Nov 1st 2018 at 4:27:10 PM

Megaplix

This is what Mom and Dad watched all the time...? (Mitch mutters to himself as the ridiculousness plays out on screen.)

"I shall not be foolish again, my dear Gwendolyn!"
kagescorpionakki Breath of the Sun from Long Ago Since: Apr, 2009 Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
Breath of the Sun
#2780: Nov 1st 2018 at 5:51:54 PM

Megaplix

Mikael(a) would have commented on the ridiculousness of the movie, had she not had Ellie on her lap.

As it stood, neither of them were paying much attention to the screen. Or any attention to anything other than each others lips.

Though Mikael did take a moment to notice and summarily flip off the elderly couple from earlier.

Edited by kagescorpionakki on Nov 1st 2018 at 8:53:08 AM

What is so amusing about this? Why do you take lives? How can you forget?
kkhohoho Deranged X-Mas Figure from The Insanity Pole Since: May, 2011 Relationship Status: Pining for the fjords
Deranged X-Mas Figure
#2781: Nov 1st 2018 at 6:31:47 PM

Megaplix

Ethel snorted as Mikael flipped her the bird, as though she had committed an unspeakable offense. "Well I'll never!" It didn't help that her and her girlfriend were making out atop each other in the middle of a public venue. As if the atrocity of a film they were watching wasn't bad enough.

"Let it be, Ethel," whispered George. "'Less you wanna get us kicked out of the theater."

"Kicked out? They're the ones who should be kicked out! I swear, they're one step away from having sex in the theater! At the very least they should put on some pants!"

"Hey, I feel the same, but that's just how it is. Now pipe down already, will ya?"

"Oh fine. But I'm telling you, if this goes any further, I'll be the one kicking them out! Mark my words!"

Doctor Who — Long Way Around: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13536044/1/Doctor-Who-Long-Way-Around
CenturyEye Tell Me, Have You Seen the Yellow Sign? from I don't know where the Yith sent me this time... Since: Jan, 2017 Relationship Status: Having tea with Cthulhu
Tell Me, Have You Seen the Yellow Sign?
#2782: Nov 2nd 2018 at 6:21:53 AM

Megaplix

Mahvash had arrived partway into the movie, only just getting her feet in the air when the scene started. She spent most of the time between reading and scanning the layout of the place and the materials. Practice. And then "one year, three months, two weeks, seven days, and sixty minutes? Wow, such precision. Wait, why didn't she say three weeks? Is there something else there?"

"All your secrets?" she commented, declining to keep reading, and by this point balancing the certainly not alcoholic contents of a frothy mug while still upside-down. "If he couldn't take all her secrets and get himself a stepford servant then that's on his technique. Even moreso if he tried the way they do in H-manga." No sympathy there. On the other hand. Did he even try?

Then the slap. "Don't just take that, woman!" Mahvash stood on her toes, leaning at an impossible angle from the tip of her seat towards the screen, cupping her hands around her mouth. "Tell him your name!" She paused a moment. "Tell us your name and give him that winkling right out of your ass!"

For a moment, she actually stared to check if the woman would take on her constipated look again before flopping back in her seat none too gracefully and stretching out across the seats around her, utterly uncaring as to who was nearby.

Look with century eyes... With our backs to the arch And the wreck of our kind We will stare straight ahead For the rest of our lives
kkhohoho Deranged X-Mas Figure from The Insanity Pole Since: May, 2011 Relationship Status: Pining for the fjords
Deranged X-Mas Figure
#2783: Nov 2nd 2018 at 4:49:49 PM

Miniplex

"Uh, excuse me?" As Matten stretched out across the seats, she failed to notice (or perhaps chose not to,) that someone was already sitting right next to her. And it wasn't long before he found her leg in his lap. He was actually rather handsome and just a year or two older than how Matten appeared, but that didn't mean he was pleased. Actually, he was less cross than he deserved to be, but he was still understandably upset. "You're kinda invading my personal space. You mind?"

Edited by kkhohoho on Nov 3rd 2018 at 9:15:05 AM

Doctor Who — Long Way Around: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13536044/1/Doctor-Who-Long-Way-Around
CenturyEye Tell Me, Have You Seen the Yellow Sign? from I don't know where the Yith sent me this time... Since: Jan, 2017 Relationship Status: Having tea with Cthulhu
Tell Me, Have You Seen the Yellow Sign?
#2784: Nov 3rd 2018 at 3:21:01 AM

Megaplix

"Oh, you're not excused," Mahvash raised herself on her elbows, getting a look at the man in perhaps the least efficient method possible, but she was stretching out and jutting out more for his eyes. She had taken him in before turning around. Well, know what I'm doing after I drop off the kids.

"I don't mind at all," she continued with a wide smile. "You may rub them," She wiggled her feet. "And you may keep talking to me. You have my leave."

Edited by CenturyEye on Nov 3rd 2018 at 6:25:03 AM

Look with century eyes... With our backs to the arch And the wreck of our kind We will stare straight ahead For the rest of our lives
kkhohoho Deranged X-Mas Figure from The Insanity Pole Since: May, 2011 Relationship Status: Pining for the fjords
Deranged X-Mas Figure
#2785: Nov 3rd 2018 at 9:12:01 AM

Megaplix

"Okay, let's try this again," said the man, only the slightest bit amused. "Can you please get your leg off of me? Cause if you don't, I'm gonna have to call over the usher and make you take it off. Oh, and just an FYI, but it's probably a good idea to start flirting with someone after you've stopped harassing them. Just a thought."

Doctor Who — Long Way Around: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13536044/1/Doctor-Who-Long-Way-Around
CenturyEye Tell Me, Have You Seen the Yellow Sign? from I don't know where the Yith sent me this time... Since: Jan, 2017 Relationship Status: Having tea with Cthulhu
Tell Me, Have You Seen the Yellow Sign?
#2786: Nov 3rd 2018 at 12:28:18 PM

Megaplix

"I prefer 'seize the moment' but," She put a finger to her chin pretending to mull it over. "since you said 'please.'" Mahvash returned to her upside down posture, perfectly poised even sitting upside down.

"So," she put her hands on her face. "You wouldn't put hands on me yourself? Ah well. Now, you're excused." She kept a social smile on her face—she couldn't manage an innocent smile.

The daeva folded her arms, returning to training of a sort, namely tracking who, what, and when in this row by way of the state of the floor. This was Interceptor's domain. I'm fortunate he's back for security. Maybe I can get special training.

Edited by CenturyEye on Nov 3rd 2018 at 11:01:21 AM

Look with century eyes... With our backs to the arch And the wreck of our kind We will stare straight ahead For the rest of our lives
kkhohoho Deranged X-Mas Figure from The Insanity Pole Since: May, 2011 Relationship Status: Pining for the fjords
Deranged X-Mas Figure
#2787: Nov 4th 2018 at 7:43:20 AM

Winkleheimer XIII

After a rather long and pointless sequence involving the girl and her friends gossiping with each other about boys with that same kazoo blurting out one long ear-grinding note for the entire scene (enough to cause a cat or someone with cat-like hearing to write around in their seats in agony), the movie switched over to a dark, dusty attic in the girl's house. Although one had to wonder if it was supposed to be dark or if the production team didn't know how to do proper lighting.

The girl could be seen in the center the attic wearing nothing but a loose purple bathrobe. She was standing in the middle of a large pentagram made out of chalky red paint that was clearly meant to be blood. A large rubber knife was in her hand, and she slowly drew it over her wrist as she muttered an ancient incantation as though she were reciting the pledge of allegiance in gradeschool. She was also looking straight at the camera, almost as though she were reading off a cue card.

"Lo, dark and terrible evil spirits! I summon you in all your dark, terrible and evil glory to smite that which has wronged me! Wronged me in such ways that one cannot possibly imagine! Although I suppose one can seeing as I have lived through them and am thinking of them right now, but that isn't the point! The point is, I have been wronged! And I want him to pay! And in order for him to pay, he needs to feel the full wrath of... THE WINKLE!"

By this point, dots of red dust blood were trickling from her wrist onto the circle. The camera then switched from a full body shot to just above the hemline as she dropped her bathrobe, routinely going back and forth between that and a shot of her back just above her asscrack. "Oh, winkle winkle, hear my prayer! Make him squish like a pear! Take this offer if you please, make him suffer, make him squeeze! FEEL THE WINKLE!"

A clap of thunder resounded throughout the room before a flash of lightning caused the girl to scream at the top of her lungs. And then... nothing. The girl waited, waited for a sign, for anything. All as the camera switched between a variety of gratious shots that only technically didn't count as exploitation. "Well? Where's the winkle? I wanted the winkle! GIVE ME THE DAMN WINKLE!"

As soon as she said that, a whirring of a chainsaw could be heard right behind her. She slowly turned around, her eyes widening in constipation horror as she quickly realized she was about to meet her end. And as the camera briefly went to black, she screamed like she had never screamed before.


Megaplix

As the girl shouted her dreadful 'incantation' at the top of her lungs, even Ellie couldn't help but take notice. She forced herself away from Mikael and glanced at the screen, only to be hypnotized by the sheer atrocity unfolding before her eyes. "Uh, Mikael? This isn't supposed to be a movie, is it?"

Doctor Who — Long Way Around: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13536044/1/Doctor-Who-Long-Way-Around
Enirboreh AKA Nixer from the domain of infinite floof. Since: Jul, 2015 Relationship Status: Non-Canon
AKA Nixer
#2788: Nov 4th 2018 at 8:01:33 AM

Megaplix

Mute horror might have been Lucy's expression if she wasn't in a deep sleep by this point. So it was instead displayed by Ebony—who occasionally broke away from her morbid fascination of the screen to look over enviously at the slumbering girl. How she was managing to remain completely dead to to the world was beyond her.

Lucy, meanwhile, was having a rather pleasant dream that only occasionally slipped into the Chainsaw Massacre by the cue of the sound effects cutting through into her subconscious. At least she had a human-sized teddy bear alongside her throughout the whole thing. Shame about its somewhat strained breathing and rigid posture. Maybe it needed an asthma pump. Could bears use asthma pumps...?

Dear God this is beyond sad, Ebony thought to herself—one of the few instances of brain activity she had displayed since the movie had started. This is like... it's like it's trying to be bad ironically and failing at even that...

Eventually it just got to the point where if any more of her neurons jumped ship she would be in a vegetative state for the rest of her conceivable existence, and so she briskly got up and stalked out. The stuffiness of the theatre room itself was enough—but the added assault on the senses was just beyond her limit.

As soon as she was out, she perched herself against the doorway and drew out a sigh, rubbing her temples with her fingers.

“...Sweet Jesus.

Edited by Enirboreh on Nov 4th 2018 at 4:04:35 PM

bork
Blueace Surrounded by weirdoes from The End Of the World Since: Dec, 2010 Relationship Status: Chocolate!
Surrounded by weirdoes
#2789: Nov 4th 2018 at 10:05:29 AM

The moment such an awful sound, his hands went to his ears and a couple of ice hands pulled some plugs, put some on the sleeping Lucy and on Lin's ears.

Having stopped paying attention to the movie, not that there was much worth seeing, a couple ice figures appeared, starting to act a rather silly scene.

Too bad I can't do sound effects just for me He thought Ah, well

Wake me up at your own risk.
CenturyEye Tell Me, Have You Seen the Yellow Sign? from I don't know where the Yith sent me this time... Since: Jan, 2017 Relationship Status: Having tea with Cthulhu
Tell Me, Have You Seen the Yellow Sign?
#2790: Nov 4th 2018 at 2:41:52 PM

Megaplix

Mahvash had ended up on her toes again leaning off the edge of her seat and nursing a frothy mug of water.

Then the incantation started. "Oh," she snapped up to a straight posture. "I gotta get to work." She managed to right herself straight to the ground trying to assume a natural (for human beings) posture. "I'm fine." She said into the floor and to no one in particular while vanishing.

Saint Academy

"I must think of some nifty little summoning ritual in time." Mahvash said the moment she appeared in front of Interceptor. "Or maybe the movie just made it seem like a funny idea. Pardon me."
At the Theatre for a brief instant

She ran, very unsteadily from the room, popping back into the theater lobby to vomit into the trash can. What? Bozo had his own way and she had hers. Instant sobriety. And it hadn't burned through too much of the ground below the can.
Back in the Academy

"Yes, quick question." Mahvash gave a rushed curtsy before standing at attention. "Have you a primer on tracking quarry? Suspects? Like in the movie theater? I got curious. Things get left behind in the theatre, and it would be fun to be able to track where they come from and where they might be going like Holmes, House, Gently, all those types."

Edited by CenturyEye on Nov 5th 2018 at 5:39:04 AM

Look with century eyes... With our backs to the arch And the wreck of our kind We will stare straight ahead For the rest of our lives
kagescorpionakki Breath of the Sun from Long Ago Since: Apr, 2009 Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
Breath of the Sun
#2791: Nov 5th 2018 at 2:49:17 PM

Megaplix

"Hm?" Mikael cocked an eyebrow and actually looked at the screen a moment. "Oh, I think this is a horror movie. Some people like being frightened, so they make movies about serial killers and whatnot. You actually might like horror films, now that I think about it."

He dug a finger in his ear, slightly annoyed by the screaming. "Well, good horror movies, at least."

What is so amusing about this? Why do you take lives? How can you forget?
kkhohoho Deranged X-Mas Figure from The Insanity Pole Since: May, 2011 Relationship Status: Pining for the fjords
Deranged X-Mas Figure
#2792: Nov 5th 2018 at 4:42:39 PM

Saint Academy

"We do," said Interceptor. "Not that it matters. You want to play detective, that's your business."


Megaplix

"Oh," said Ellie. "Yeah, that does sound fun!" She tore herself away from Mikael and plopped into her seat, suddenly eager to watch the movie instead of enacting a prolonged makeout session. And as the girl was inevtiably chopped to bits, she found herself reveling in the carnage despite the atrocity of it all. "Hell yeah! This is fun!" She gave Mikael a quick smooch before turning back to the movie, her eyes fixated on it in all its' terrible glory.

As for Lucy, her blissful slumber would soon be interuppted. A young child in the row behind her started rolling up paper balls tossed them at Lucy's head. Not that they did much. And so, all out of ammo, the child fell back on his last resort. Namely taking his bottle of soda and pouring it all over Lucy. While it was sure to wake her up, it wasn't certain whether or not he'd live to tell the tale.


Winkleheimer XIII

By this point after the girl had been carved like a turkey by her unseen assailent, the film switched over to Dave. He was having sex with another woman, though the way he was doing it was more like he was floundering about like a fish. On top of that, the other girls moans were less akin to love making and more like she was giving birth. The two continued on this like for a good minute or so before a loud bang could be heard from the front door.

"What's that, Dave?" said the other girl as though she were drugged up on heroin. In fact, that may actually have been the case. "Someone at the door?"

Like a moron, Dave immediately shrugged it off. "Probally just a racoon or something. Now c'mon, let's get jiggy with it!" And so they did, but not for long. The bang happened again and again and again, and Dave could no longer ignore it. "Okay, okay, I'm coming! Geez! Sorry babe, but this should only take about one minute and three seconds."

He kissed the air in front of her face gave her a quick smooch before marching to the door like a child playing pretend, all while whoever was on the other end kept on banging all the while. "Okay, I'm coming, I'm coming! God! Jesus! Bastard! Motherfucker! Cocksucker! Tits!" And then, with one twist of the doorknob, he opened it. "Okay, now who the—" And then he screamed.

The film cut over to the girl, sitting atop the bed and using only a bedsheet to cover her nicities. "Dave?! Dave, are you okay?" Silence. Then footsteps. "Dave?" The footsteps came closer, ever closer. "Dave?" Ever closer still until, at last, she could hear them from right around the nearest corner in the hallway. "DAVEY-BABEY?!" And then, at long last, the main attraction finally made his appearance.

An old man in a chainsaw leaped around the corner into the room. He was wearing a a white robe and his skin was leathery like the soles of an old shoe. His nose was large and gnarled and obviously not makeup, and his wig long white hair nearly reached to the ground. His smile was wide and twisted like a sharks', and his beady eyes were were filled with nothing but murder and mayhem. And as he stepped further into the room, chainsaw raised, he said only three words. "Feel. The. WINKLE!" And as he laughed like a maniac and the girl screamed to the heavens, the film again cut to black. In fact, one might think it was finally over.

If only.

Doctor Who — Long Way Around: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13536044/1/Doctor-Who-Long-Way-Around
Enirboreh AKA Nixer from the domain of infinite floof. Since: Jul, 2015 Relationship Status: Non-Canon
AKA Nixer
#2793: Nov 5th 2018 at 5:05:29 PM

Megaplix

The paper balls naturally did next to nothing in awakening the melanokinetic. But the fizzy liquid most certainly did.

She flinched a little, before finally opening her eyes, her gaze turning from that of a confused stare at the kid before it seemed to morph into one completely unreadable. Slowly and meticulously—so as not to disturb Hei—she sat up; a black tendril of ink peeling away from her soaked clothing and ensnaring the soda bottle, wrenching it from the kid's grasp as it did so.

It was promptly crushed into a ball with a viciousness that could have caved in a skull.

All the while, she didn't blink or otherwise stray her eyes away from the boy's own. Yet still, her face was neutral at worst and completely uncaring at best. The state of her clothes and hair didn't seem to bother her—at least externally—as she simply let her ink ripple over her for a second to draw the sticky substance out.

“Where are your parents?” Lucy asked with a dissonant calmness that was only barely above the volume of the film, the remains of the bottle being crunched down further enough to seamlessly slip into her pocket. “Asleep? Absent? Did you sneak in?”

Neglectful? Spoiled? Deceased? was the further options that rattled through her mind, but she didn't vocalise them for obvious reasons. Under the surface she was boiling with indignation, but she was successfully suppressing it for now. Violently lashing out against a child over a prank would be beyond pathetic of her. Even if his first impression was one more than a little obnoxious.

bork
Blueace Surrounded by weirdoes from The End Of the World Since: Dec, 2010 Relationship Status: Chocolate!
Surrounded by weirdoes
#2794: Nov 5th 2018 at 7:15:37 PM

Sam had stopped paying attention to the movie and had started his own, a small version of the Wizard of Oz.

But the moment he got sight of Lucy and the kid, he sighed.

"Take five, guys" He whispered, as they all went out of character, just floating there, as he reached and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Easy" He said, simply as two ice hands pulled plugs off her ears.

Looking at the kid, he just gave him his best disappointed dad look.

"Better apologize, kid" He said, evenly.

Wake me up at your own risk.
kkhohoho Deranged X-Mas Figure from The Insanity Pole Since: May, 2011 Relationship Status: Pining for the fjords
Deranged X-Mas Figure
#2795: Nov 5th 2018 at 8:23:47 PM

Megaplix

Rather than give any sort of respectful answer, the child instead decided to do the exact opposite. Namely by giving Sam a swift kick to the balls.

Doctor Who — Long Way Around: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13536044/1/Doctor-Who-Long-Way-Around
CenturyEye Tell Me, Have You Seen the Yellow Sign? from I don't know where the Yith sent me this time... Since: Jan, 2017 Relationship Status: Having tea with Cthulhu
Tell Me, Have You Seen the Yellow Sign?
#2796: Nov 5th 2018 at 8:30:49 PM

Saint Academy

Mahvash tilted her head, still smiling. "A great many things are my business. Like this. Hence the darling student requesting aid from the cherished and, luckily for all of us, local expert."

"Besides, both play and teaching are good forms of training." She put a finger to her chin, smiling only wider. "You could not have started things off with Billy by saying 'it doesn't matter.' Or maybe he grew on you?"

Edited by CenturyEye on Nov 6th 2018 at 10:51:54 AM

Look with century eyes... With our backs to the arch And the wreck of our kind We will stare straight ahead For the rest of our lives
Enirboreh AKA Nixer from the domain of infinite floof. Since: Jul, 2015 Relationship Status: Non-Canon
AKA Nixer
#2797: Nov 6th 2018 at 4:41:42 AM

Megaplix

To her credit, Lucy didn't resist. Instead, she just shut her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath—only to let it out as a sigh as the kid blatantly ignored them both and promptly kicked poor Sam right in the groin. Without as much as a final glance towards the kid, she ensnared him in a few of her ink tendrils—lifting him speedily yet still gently back into his seat and strapping him down like he were in a carseat.

With a slight air of relief (for now), Lucy turned to the cryokinetic—and immediately winced.

“You... you okay, Sam? Need me to get anything?” she asked with no small amount of sympathy for the teen. She had to admit that she hadn't had much experience in dealing with that type of injury. Hannah and her most certainly never stooped that low in regards to David—and she severely doubted his classmates would have the courage to do anything like that to him either. So honestly, she wasn't quite sure what to do.

bork
Blueace Surrounded by weirdoes from The End Of the World Since: Dec, 2010 Relationship Status: Chocolate!
Surrounded by weirdoes
#2798: Nov 6th 2018 at 10:46:29 AM

While Sam winced from the impact, he managed to shackle the kid's leg and reduce the swing midway through. Still, it hurt.

"Could be worse" He answered, honestly, and a bit strained before glaring at the kid as his pants were filled with snow.

"Lesson to you" He said, not even hiding the fact he was mad "You don't aim a low blow to someone and don't expect payback, keep that in mind" With that, he sat back, deciding to end the show.

Wake me up at your own risk.
kkhohoho Deranged X-Mas Figure from The Insanity Pole Since: May, 2011 Relationship Status: Pining for the fjords
Deranged X-Mas Figure
#2799: Nov 8th 2018 at 5:34:12 PM

Saint Academy

"Aid for what exactly?" said Interceptor. "Because let's be honest here. Half the time, I'm not even sure what you're trying to say. Same thing here. Maybe if you were less obtuse, you'd actually do a better job of getting what you want. Just a thought."


Megaplix

The kid struggled and grunted as much as he could, but for all his efforts, he couldn't break free of Lucy's inky restraints. And having a quickly melting pile of snow in his pants didn't help either. And so, with nothing else for it, he used his last resort. Namely shouting to the heavens like a maniac. "HELP! HELP! THESE TWO FUCKERS ARE TRYING TO KILL ME! HELP!"


Winkleheimer XIII

By this point a group of captions so small that you almost needed a magnifying glass to see them popped up the screen. It read '14 days, 5 hours, and 27 minutes later'. It then cut to a police station with the local sheriff front and center. He was a fat slob who the makeup team still somehow tried to make handsome and rugged when in pratice he looked anything but. He was chomping down on a donut as he talked to his deputy, peridoically looking at a newspaper on his desk. On the front page was a picture of an old man with a chainsaw standing atop a rooftop in the distance, cackling like a maniac.

"So," said the deputy. He spoke with a long Southern drawl that made his scenes take twice as long as they should have, so much so that whenever he did speak, the Sheriff couldn't help but appear bored out of his skull. "That the Winkle?"

"That it is."

"You mean the mass murderer that's been going around for the last 14 days, 5 hours, and 27 minutes mowing down anything or anyone he likes?"

"That it is."

"That a jelly donut?"

The sheriff took another bite of his donut, which was undoubtedly filled with jelly. "That it is. Anyway, like you said, that no good rotten son of a fish has been goin' around chopping up darn near everyone he feels like! Starting with that girl. Still not sure why he killed her, or that boy. But darn tootin', he's gotta pay! Damn she was pretty. By the way, this is a helluva good donut."

"That it is."

"Anyway, we need to find this fucker and take it down. Unfortunately, old-fashioned scientific or police methods have proven utterely useless. So we'll have to do the next best thing."

"And what's that, sir?"

"Oh, that's simple. All we've gotta do is strip ourselves naked, cover ourselves in olive oil, get ourselves all tarred and feathered, do some interpretive dance, go on a drunken bender, get laid, get ourselves killed, somehow come back to life, wait for the rapture, wait for the rapture to be undone by a cosmic whammy, wait for everything else we've done to get wiped out by a cosmic reset, forget we've ever had this conversation, and then wait for a convienent phone call that will let us know where he's gonna strike next!"

"If you say so, sir." And surely enough, the next part of the movie was doing every single thing the sheriff described to the letter. By the time all of that had been undone, much of the audience (or what passed for one,) was grateful that that sheer amount of batshit insanity had been wiped clean.

Suddenly the phone rang. The Sherriff rushed over to it, pressing the phone to his ears. "Who the hell is this? Uh-huh? Uh-huh? Uh-huh. Okay then. See you soon." He slammed it down and turned to his partner. "Good news. We got him!"

"You mean you've actually made an arrest?"

"Well, no. But we know what he's gonna do next! Mostly because he just went and told us. And it ain't good."

"What's not good, sir?"

The Sheriff leaped over to the deputy and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, his eyes bulging like a maniac."He's gonna steal a nuke and lob it at Russia, thereby starting WWIII! Ain't that obvious?!"

"Not really, sir."

"Whatever. We've gotta stop him! Of course, he did tell us all that, so we're probably gonna get ourselves killed. But FUCK IT!"

"If you say so, sir."


Megaplix

By this point Ellie was enraptured, her eyes glued to the screen at the sheer terrible beauty of it all. "Wowza. It's like a fucking dumpster fire. And it's awesome! This has gotta be a comedy or something, right? Cause it's fucking hilarious!"

Doctor Who — Long Way Around: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13536044/1/Doctor-Who-Long-Way-Around
CenturyEye Tell Me, Have You Seen the Yellow Sign? from I don't know where the Yith sent me this time... Since: Jan, 2017 Relationship Status: Having tea with Cthulhu
Tell Me, Have You Seen the Yellow Sign?
#2800: Nov 8th 2018 at 5:58:25 PM

Saint Academy

"Of course," Mahvash waved a hand. "I'm finished sitting still and watching pictures on a screen, and you may tell me stories your late sidekick." After a beat she added, "And why you let him keep the name 'Billy'."

She put a hand on the wall, leaning. "Don't get me wrong. I am interested in detective stuff, sleuthing, and making my own private eye monologues, but that was an icebreaker. And the movie might still be going on when you're done, so I'd need to practice something."

"By the way," she continued in an even tone, as if not touching on a sensitive subject and she was recording data from a study. "Were you exaggerating your 'anger' when Saint said Billy's name back at the pool? And does emotional manipulation like that work so often in the field? Or is it just him?"

Edited by CenturyEye on Nov 8th 2018 at 9:00:29 AM

Look with century eyes... With our backs to the arch And the wreck of our kind We will stare straight ahead For the rest of our lives

Total posts: 2,810
Top