Tropers: The Series

The Harpers have somehow not caught on to who's been causing all this stuff, despite Helen just trying to impale one of them. In fact, they've reached the wrong conclusion entirely.

"Aha, it was the dolphins this whole time!"

"Alright, there's only room for one aquatic-mammal collective organism in this apartment..."

"And their name..." The seals' eyes flicker magenta.

"is HARPER. GUILLES.^note Pronounced gill-ess SEALY!!!!" Innumerable seals pour from every nook and cranny in the space that was formerly apartment-shaped, wielding a variety of ridiculous household items as weapons, and start trying to clobber the dolphins.

In the ensuing chaos, a waffle iron flies straight towards Helen.

The seals clash with the dolphins, causing lots of said dolphins to get knocked all over the place, clipping into the walls and disappearing.

"HOLY SHIT WHAT KINDA HARPERFEST IS THIS!?"

Bobbit worm: Fucking- [slam] At least the dolphins aren't bothering us anymore!

The doors end up closing from being squished by the Harpers.

Helen gets confused. Badly. To the point where the waffle iron slamming her hard catches her off-guard. "DRAT-"

The whole apartment momentarily goes back to order before going haywire again. Helen ends up opening a closet door by accident - one that leads to...a void of some sort.

"Alright, enough games, you sickening seals!"

She sticks her long, spiny fingers into the walls, causing long claws that look like said fingers to pop up everywhere, risking impalement to any unlucky victim.

"Whatdawant?"

Fuzzy seems lost in an endless horde of seals and decides to do the only thing he can do. He captures the moment in his notebook. He adds little lightning bolts and Written Sound Effects to his version, which for whatever reason start to appear in the real thing. Peppy watches from inside Fuzzy's bag.

"I love being a pet."

(Chey barges in. She was all covered in orange sherbet, slime, spaghetti and meatballs, and issues of Zoobooks that have been adhered to the slime.)
"Don't. Smegging. Ask."
(Chey sees Helen and her evil fingers.)
"God, what the smeg? That's it, I'm tired and I wanna wash this crap off."
(Chey then takes a pair of gardening shears out from her bag and starts cutting off Helen's fingers one by one. After the deed was done, she gave Helen a good old fashioned eyepoke.)

"Why are you being mean to this poor lady?"

I have totally been there the whole time, whacking dolphins with a weird, defective-looking keyblade. However, when Helen does the finger thing, things change.

"So, you think you can stop us by turning your fingers into deadly spikes, huh? *Think again.* This Keyblade changes form into an almighty weapon, handed down by generations since ancient times."

I hold the Keyblade at my waist, and the hilt glows with incredible power. Jpeg artifacts gather around me like pixie dust.

"Behold, the ancient power of... The SORD!!!"

I pull the blade from my waist, and in a flash of Jpeg artifacts, it turns into a really shitty-looking sword. More than that, my very form has become littered with similar artifacts. I blip in and out of existence, leaving countless artifacts in my wake, as I zoom over to Helen and slice the SORD at her wildly!

Edited by Afterwards on Jul 11th 2021 at 9:54:08 AM

Snip.

Snip.

Snip.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! WHY YOU WRETCHED-"

Then an eyepoke and a SORD, shoving her deeper into the portal void beyond the closet door. "SHIT! YOU WANT TO DIE FIRST, HUH!?"

Helen takes her fingers off the doorway and extends it at Chey's direction, leaving her completely vulnerable to getting kicked into said void.

Edited by SomeLibre on Jul 11th 2021 at 11:55:44 PM

(Chey takes her gunstick out and shoots at each of the fingers while dodging them.)
"I'M A BAD SMEGHEAD, YOU CAN'T KILL ME!"

I kick Helen into the void and slam the door in her face.

I dismiss the SORD, turning it back into the keyblade, which I point at the door. A beam of light comes out of the keyblade, followed by the mystical click of an old-fashioned lock.

Edited by Afterwards on Jul 11th 2021 at 10:03:32 AM

"YOU MOTHER FU-"

SLAM.

The door's closed.

Shifting sounds can be heard as the apartment goes back to normal.

"[shakes head] I...what're these creaking noises?"

"Libre! You survived!"

I survey the room to make sure everyone's okay.

"Turns out, our new housemate was some sort of fiend, and was totally haunting us."

"Yeesh, that sounds...nasty."

Seems like Libre's spacing himself out of all the crap that just happened.

Eventually, the creaking stops, as the apartment goes back to its original state.

"Home sweet home," I sigh, slumping down on the living room couch.

"Man, what a fine mess this has been. I'm gonna go shower."
(Chey then goes off to the bathroom.)

Libre gets up...only to trip on the cabinet.

"...I'm fucking disassembling you."

The corpse inside is yeeted out, and he starts ripping the cabinet apart.

After all that, a knife, and a zapper.

"Oh, right, that thing. What was up with that?"

"...fucking Cabinet Man."

Peppy is in Fuzzy's arms. Flickers of blue can be seen in his wings and eyes.

"No... I wanna..."

Fuzzy shoves the bird in his bag.

"No. She's gone now. Behave."

Tropers: The Series, Season 8, Episode 8

Plan(et) B

Bee is in his house, eating cereal, when suddenly a letter teleports in front of him in a rainbow flash of light. He opens it and reads it.

"Orange Drone #21,

Site 12 on Planet 121-B is experiencing technical issues. We know you did not leave this planet on good terms, but our technicians are at a roadblock and you are the last person we can think of with that kind of technical prowess.

Signed,

The Prime Bees"

Bee sighs and teleports to the Tropers' apartment.

Playing wakes up from his hour-long nap.

"Did my science experiment on the space wolves fall apart?"

Sylvi is pouring some honey on its pancakes when Bee teleports in.

"Ey there, Bee," it says with a wave.

Do we know Bee in this continuity?

Beats me. Just assume we got his name from the script.

"I have something urgent to tell you. I've gotta leave for my home planet. Technical issue. Does anyone want to come with?"

"I for one thought your space wolf experiment was very informative. I'm thankful to you for opening my eyes up to their plight."

Tropes clears a tear from his eye.

"Those poor wolves...who knew there was so little oxygen in space?"

When he hears be, he quickly wipes his eyes and clears his throat.

"Oh yeah, I'll come. It would be nice to have some positive impressions of space as well."

Edited by TropesForever on Jul 13th 2021 at 10:24:38 PM