Tropers: The Series

"Mostly surprised. Most targets just scream and cry, and that's only if they even know I'm there. Now, one's passed out, one's fighting with Heavy, and one's flirting with me."

The camera cuts to Heavy swiping at Bob, who is on his back with his arms around the large Russian's neck.

"WHY ARE YOU SO ODDLY PROPORTIONED, YOU GIANT BASTARD!?"

(Cut to commercial.)
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(Cut to someone putting on the record and sitting back in the recliner.)
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(Cue the sounds of car horns honking and a guy unintelligibly cursing.)
"Traffic,"
(A few minutes later, the listener gets annoyed as she listens to the sweet sounds of kids screaming and yelling over candy.)
"Bratty children throwing tantrums in the grocery store,"
(A few more minutes later and the listener gets annoyed as she hears the sounds of a jackhammer and nails getting hammered in.)
"Construction of a fourth Tropey Mart that nobody in your city needs,"
(Cut to the poor listener plugging her ears as she hears the sounds of dogs barking and lawnmowers running.)
"Your neighborhood on the weekends,"
(Unrelaxed at all, the listener shuts the record player off and throws the record at the wall.)
"And much more!"
(Cut to a shot of the record sleeve surrounded by it's CD, cassette, and 8-track counterparts.)
"Soothing Sounds of The City makes the perfect gift for someone you love! Or at least tolerate. Call now and get Soothing Sounds of The City on vinyl for 49.99, on CD for 29.99, on cassette for 69.99, or on 8-Track for 99.99. Or order online at the address on the screen! If you don't enjoy the record, too bad! All sales are final."
(The commercial ends.)

"Afters, don't die ... please don't die."

"So what's going on with After?"

"He has fatal familiar insomnia."

Edited by Playing_with_boy on May 11th 2020 at 9:57:15 AM

"If he doesn't wake up, I call dibs on his keyblade...

and his other stuff too"

Junon is now choking the hell of the witch doctor a la Homer choking Bart.

"Why you little! Your treatment didn't work on me, you ass!"

"Shit.... there's a very real possibility I could die here...."

Weakly, I summon my keyblade, with the blade pointed downwards. I hold the handle out to Dan.

"You did call dibs, so it's only fair. Quickly, we don't have much time."

Grabs the blade

"Was kinda hoping you'd defy death just to spite me, but I'll take what I can get"

(Robin enters the scene muttering some rather harsh sounding stuff. He didn't win the appendix. He then sees After and gasps.)
"After! What happened to you?!"

"Oh I'm totally gonna defy death just to spite you, I'm just taking precautions. Are you ready?"

As Dan's hand closes over mine, I start to recite:

"In your hand, take this key.
So long as you have the makings,
Then through this simple act of taking,
It's wielder you shall one day be.

"And you will find me, friend -
No ocean will contain you then.
No borders around, or below, or above,
So long as you champion the ones you love."

As soon as the ceremony is complete, I'm overcome with a nasty coughing fit. The Keyblade disappears as soon as I let go of it.

"I'm fine," I assure Robin through my nasty, dry cough. "It's just prion disease."

Edited by Afterwards on May 11th 2020 at 4:12:23 AM

"If you die, make sure to do something awful first, I can't meet you again if you go to heaven"

Edited by johannes4123 on May 11th 2020 at 10:11:56 AM

"Hmm, that's true. What would be awful enough to send me to hell, do you think?"

"Prion disease?! I-i-is there a cure for it at all?"

"Funny you should ask that," a nurse suddenly walks in, carrying a clipboard. "The doctors at this institution have just discovered a cure for his fatal familial insomnia. It will be a life-saving surgery. However....."

"If you need a surgeon, look no further"

As he proudly points to himself

The nurse eyes Dan with suspicion.... Until he remembers how incredibly short-staffed they are.

"Very well. Even if you can perform the surgery though, it requires a very particular transplant. Unfortunately, we are fresh out of the required organ - up until now, we had assumed it served no purpose at all."

"Is it a g r a p e ?"

Edited by Playing_with_boy on May 11th 2020 at 2:29:09 AM

"We need an appendix."

"We do not!"

"There is no cure for FFI. Treatment is directed toward management of the specific symptoms that are apparent in each individual. Treatment may require the coordinated efforts of a team of specialists. Neurologists, psychiatrists, psychologists, pain specialists, social workers, and other healthcare professionals may need to systematically and comprehensively plan treatment. Psychosocial support for the entire family is essential as well. Genetic counseling is recommended for affected individuals and their families.

There are no standardized treatment protocols or guidelines for affected individuals. Due to the rarity of the disease, there are no treatment trials that have been tested on a large group of patients. Various treatments have been reported in the medical literature as part of single case reports or small series of patients. Treatment trials would be very helpful to determine the long-term safety and effectiveness of specific medications and treatments for individuals with FFI.

Symptomatic treatments include anti-seizure (anti-epileptics) medications for seizures or clonazepam for myoclonus. Affected individuals may be advised to discontinue any medications that worsen confusion, memory or insomnia."

"That information is outdated. He can be cured with an appendix transplant."

"Sure.............."

"What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target."

"Hang about! Didn't you sell the appendix to Tales, Dan?"