Enter The Arena As Your Avatar -- The Spinoff!

Their ability to teleport makes it hard to corner them... I should know, because that's exactly how I fight myself. I also know that the best way to deal with teleporters is to spam the room with as much firepower as possible to negate their advantage. Shame how limited my options are in that regard, but I do have one thing...

"Oh run, run, I'm coming for you!" Arachnos boasts as what seems to be stingers (?) emerges rather gruesomely from the palms of his hands. Without commenting on the anatomical improbability of a spider with stingers, he starts spraying a barrage of those from both hands in different directions in a Death Blossom, trying to punish careless teleportation by covering as much of the room as possible. The venom in these stingers will induce lethargy, sluggishness, and eventually knock a victim out cold with enough hits.

Edited by Arachnos on Feb 2nd 2020 at 3:10:39 PM

As long as it fits in the room, which I'm 90% sure it does.

"Come forth, Wolverinekugan!"

Reybade takes off his plushter, throws the Poké Ball, and releases the big mecha Wolverine. It has to crouch to keep its head from hitting the ceiling, but it completely blocks Arachnos' shots from hitting the fusion. And of course, being a machine, venom doesn't bother it.

Instead of prepping another teleport, he puts the plushter back on and begins charging another shot.

Rbade sighs internally.

"Wolverakugan, use Rollout!"

Instead of continuing to charge it, he quickly lets the shot fly in a haphazard attempt to tag Arachnos.

"ARE YOU FRICKING-" Arachnos exclaims upon witnessing the giant Wolverine. "So this is how we're going to play, are we... in that case, BEHOLD THE FULL POWER OF A DIMENSIONAL TYRANT!"

Arachnos' body gruesomely deforms even further, and by the end of the transformation,a gigantic black spider, only vaguely humanoid◊, stands where the man has been. A spider with multiple holes in its black chitin and a cleanly cauterized stump where one of its six supporting legs should be.

Another circular pentacle appears in the way of the Wolverinekugan as it rolls. If it moves into it, gravity for it will be bent as if the hotel was on a very steep slope, hopefully just enough for it to roll... directly into the pool. This move costs Arachnos the ability to evade Reybade's shot, and part of his face gets melted a bit, burning away a few eyes.

It's not hard to see what the spider's game is. Faced with two opponents now - of which one has the power of two, and the other is immune to half of his arsenal - he cannot afford to simply expend his energy going ham on both. He needs to get rid of Wolverinekugan as swiftly and efficiently as possible so he can resume focusing on Reybade.

I'm really getting tired of fighting. If this keeps up much longer, I won't have the resolve to see it through to the finale.

"Oh, okay. Sure."

Reybade tucks his arms and legs into his boxy armor, like a turtle.

“Did you want to defuse? ... Are we able to do that?”

He quickly charges up another shot within his shell, but doesn’t fire it.

Wolverakugan, the dumb bloke, falls right into Arachnos’s trap.

The minute Wolverinekugan presumably rolls straight into the pool with a nuclear-like splash, Arachnos whips out even more of his electric whips and proceeds to apply to it copious amounts of the traditional robot weakness amplified by water.

On the plus side, while doing that, he's still leaving Reybade completely free to do whatever.

Reybade unfurls slightly and fires a teleport marker to an upper balcony-like area of the pool room - looks like a place where people can dry off, or neglectful parents can watch their kids play in the water without being there to keep an eye on their safety, without risk of splashing.

Your choice - do we teleport before or after the charge shot?

Edited by KiriK on Feb 2nd 2020 at 4:51:37 AM

”After.”

Unfortunately, Wolverinekugan is actually entirely plastic.

Fortunately it is so brain dead that it is still effectively defeated.

“Should we use Arceus?”

Fortunately, even though a giant spider's face is a lot harder to read than a human's, they may see that Arachnos is slowly starting to run out of steam himself. After his failed, yet unnecessary attempt to get rid of Wolverinekugan, he also seems to need a moment to recover his energy, giving the duo a few much-needed seconds to ponder their next plan and possibly make a move.

Only if this doesn't take him down.

Reybade unfurls completely and lets the charge shot, now at full power, fly at Arachnos' face!

He then teleports to where he placed the marker. It's up high, and far away enough that it might take Arachnos a moment to realize where he now is.

That is, if Arachnos is still standing afterwards.

Rbade decides to actually use his Scouter for once in the match. He clicks it to try and get a full rundown of Arachnos's current stats.

"What type do you think this guy is?"

Arachnos seems to have rather high stats in most domains, consistent with his admission of being a semidivine entity. He has high Defense that strongly resists piercing and slashing attacks and most forms of energy, but with the caveat of vulnerability to blunt damage and fire. His lowest stat seems to be his agility due to his bulky carapace.

Unless the duo has psychic defenses, they will see Arachnos get hit by their energy blast, screech in agony, and collapse to the ground.

If they do have psychic defenses, they will see Arachnos leave a "false image" of himself behind before disappearing from sight just before being hit by the shot.

Either way, he will promptly reappear in front of Reybade to sock him in the face with a hard chitinous claw balled into a fist. If they are observant, they may notice that Arachnos, even now, seems hesitant to resort to sure-fire lethal attacks, otherwise he would've probably have gone for a chopping motion to the neck with the bladed edge of said claw instead.

"Ow!"

Reybade falls back as he gets slugged in the face.

Bug/Psychic? Bug/Fairy?

On the floor, he fumbles with his stuff, trying to pull something out...

Edited by KiriK on Feb 2nd 2020 at 7:03:13 AM

He throws the ball in a random direction and releases the creator deity of the Pokémon universe.

"Arceus, use Extreme Speed!"

Oh, fucketh me...

That's the only thing that passes through Arachnos' mind as the bulk of the equine deity slams into him. Crunch, goes his carapace again.

Even if it was just me and this thing, victory would not be assured. Even restrained, its power is easily enough to trade blows with a demigod like me... I thought I had the upper hand in this matchup, but it turns out I was the one being made a fool out of all along! THEY were the ones holding back on ME! Outdone by a dude with controller lightsabers, another wearing a fucking cardboard Soviet Gundam, and their pet, the motherfucking creator of the universe! I cannot believe it! I said it in jest before, but now I really have to wonder. What the hell are these people?!

In desperation, Arachnos' claws turn jet-black, absorbing light just like his messy web from before. He begins swinging wildly in Arceus' direction, launching black crescents that cleave through any normal material in their way like butter. They seem to be rips in the fabric of reality itself, and function somewhat similarly to a Reality Slash spell. They would cleave through a regular human easily, and while a magical entity such as Arceus could probably survive a few to the face, even it wouldn't appreciate it much.

However, it's clear that the spider is on its last legs. Literally, Arachnos' remaining legs seem to be trembling under his own weight even as he's giving everything he has.

Is this his last-ditch move? Do we tell him to stand down if Arceus is still doing fine after that hit?

Reybade simply waits anxiously to see the results of the exchange of blows.

The other half of Reybade is more confident, even as the slashes dig into Arceus's god-flesh.

"Shadow Force!"

Arceus vanished instantly into the shadows!

Edited by Rbade on Feb 2nd 2020 at 5:58:32 AM

Shadow Force? It's not over yet, then! If I can just knock out the controller before the Mon reemerges... I can still do this! I can win!

With his last gasp, Arachnos creates a pentacle in the air above him, leaps up to it, and warps gravity for himself, diving towards Reybade like a hawk, emitting a sound between a screech and a hiss. One of his forelimbs is raised, its claws once again curled in a ball. The very space around it seems to shimmer and warp with gravitational forces twisted to obey Arachnos' will - without a doubt, he's primed to deliver the mother of all Megaton Punches..!

Oh, right.

Reybade pulls out a Gatorade bottle with an 'E' scribbled on it in Sharpie or something... but before he can drink it, he defuses.

"Oh shit."

The End Comes (Drowning - Sonic the Hedgehog)

Rbade, now non-fused, panics and tries his hand at a combat roll, but trips over his own feet instead.

In other news, Arceus pops back into existence to bitchslap Arachnos.

Edited by Rbade on Feb 2nd 2020 at 6:22:19 AM

They defused..?! But..!

Arachnos makes a minute adjustment to his trajectory... and instead of either of his two foes, he punches the floor, which cracks under the impact like an earthquake had hit. A tremendous shockwave erupts from the impact point, threatening to slam the two self-inserts into the walls, but it's without a doubt less deadly than what would have happened if either of them had taken the punch directly to the face in their defused states.

Whatever happens to the two, Arachnos is immediately bodyslammed by a god and plummets all the way into the pool and into Wolverinekugan, where by unfortunate accident he takes one of the inert monstrosity's stray claws right through the chest. He squirms a little like a pinned spider in an exhibition.

"Oh... come the fuck on..."

Rey gets blown into a wall.

Something cracks.

He faintly sees Arachnos getting shishkebab'd, and would very much like to smirk victoriously, but oh dear god the pain.

Rbade is also slammed into a wall. Unlike Rey, there is no pain being felt! This is because he was knocked out cold the instant he hit the wall.

Arceus does the quadrupedal equivalent of t-posing and floats above the battlefield, while Woverakugan continues doing absolutely fucking nothing in the pool.

Some more spider squirming. "Can... can someone get me down from here? This is kind of uncomfortable..."

He then notices Rbade unconscious, Rey in agony in a corner, and Arceus victoriously T-posing.

"...well shit. I guess I did kinda bring this upon myself."