Sexism and Men's Issues

I'm not white either, and I more or less agree with the article writer.

It's worth noting that the article writer seems to be more focused on the issues facing men in the USA.

edited 18th Jun '18 7:37:26 AM by M84

I mean, that definition don't seem to include (east) asians. It includes black and Ambiguously Brown (and poor and mentally ill) men.

Also. I'd also contest the idea that The narrative of Powerful Men oppressing less powerful men requires "more self reflection". Is a ridiculously easy idea to understand

Is still right and what's happening. But acting like if understanding it "needs self reflection" is just giving yourself a pat on the head

Yeah. My mistake, I should have said Black and Brown like the article

edited 18th Jun '18 7:47:28 AM by KazuyaProta

You're the one who said "non-white".

It needs self-reflection because power is relative. All of us helped reinforce it any time one of us made fun of another kid for not being "manly" enough. To acknowledge that this is true would mean acknowledging that maybe we're to blame too. And yes, that is an unpleasant thing to face for a lot of people.

edited 18th Jun '18 7:47:55 AM by M84

No. I mean the idea that Powerful Men ruin others economically. That's not really hard to get, there entire ideologies about it.

But that's not what the article is talking about. Not entirely.

I just heard a story on Discord from a friend who ran into the girl who raped him years ago. He was at work, and her heard her bragging about having "fucked" him. She coerced him into having sex by saying that if he didn't, she would tell the authorities that he raped her. Worse still, he was in a committed relationship with someone else at the time.

She got off completely scot-free. When he tried to take his case to the police, they more or less told him to piss off.

God, you know, I've heard this kind of story before, but this is the first time I've heard it from someone I consider a friend. I'm really upset right now.

Edited by TyeDyeWildebeest on Jul 15th 2018 at 11:13:14 AM

I'm sorry to hear that. This kind of thing is always shitty.

I normally don't post on here but I just read your post and that seriously pissed me off. It's fucked up that he went through that. Fuck the woman who forced into doing that shit and fuck the cops for brushing him off.

Sounds like a really vile case of anti-male bias. And that woman is vile. What to do about women like these?

First you have to do something about the cops not taking this stuff seriously. Then the cops can do something about such women.

This means more education about what consent means.

Its not just the police, the general public would generally not believe you as much too. I have been sexually harassed and assaulted.

Most people didn't believe me when I said something when it happened. I wouldn't even want to imagine how I would of been reacted to if I have gotten raped.

Edited by Wispy on Jul 16th 2018 at 2:05:29 AM

Yeah I remember trying to get a manager of time to take serious a waiter being sexually harassed by a customer, I had to pull the “we wouldn’t be having this discussion if it was a female waiter being harassed” card to get him to even so much as tell the customer off.

If my normal manager hadn’t had to leave sick it wouldn’t have been an issue, as she’d have taken the problem seriously.

That along the same thing I see whenever a headline like this shows up.

Female teacher accused of having sexual relations with her students

and the first comments tend to be:

Those boys arms are going to be sore from all the high-fives

Damn, lucky kids, that teacher is hot

and

Why didn't I get a teacher like that when I was in school?

There are still a lot of double standards when it comes to female-on-male rape and how fetishized it is.

To the point that reverse rape is a term that is ridiculously common, when it comes to female-on-male rape porn.

Just let that sink in.

I notice that people generally believed me when I mentioned one case I had were it was another guy doing both.

Beyond that it was pulling teeth. Generally only women believed me that other women sexually assaulted or harassed me at some point.

That's an unfortunate byproduct of patriarchal attitudes. It's also something that MRA groups like to ignore. They'd love to pretend that it's the dirty feminists who are covering up an "epidemic" of female-on-male rape, but the reality is that it's male assumptions and stereotypes that make female-on-male rape so impossible to deal with.

Another advantage I kinda have is my size. I am pretty small for an 21 year old guy, being 5'3. If I was taller or bigger I doubt many people would believe me judging by the stories I have heard.

Although people did seem to believe Terry Crews when he came out about his story and his male assaulter did seem to be racially motivated so I guess so hopefully times are changing bit by bit.

I don't disagree with you - not entirely, anyway. I do think that patriarchy is largely to blame for why female-on-male rape isn't taken seriously. But what you said reminded me of another story that same friend told me, that was somewhat related to his rape story.

See, he was in a gender studies class, and as an exercise, the teacher decided that, for one class, the male students will be unable to speak for themselves. Instead, if they have something to say, he'll have to whisper it to a female classmate, who will then speak for him. Naturally, he found this infuriating, which you could argue was the point of the class - to show men what it's like to be silenced and treated like your voice doesn't matter. His teacher acted pretty smug and cheeky towards him when she noticed that he was getting angry.

But here's the thing: he already knew what it was like to be silenced. He tried to speak up about his rape, and he was shut down. Specifically because he was a man raped by a woman, instead of vice versa.

I asked him if his teacher's attitude towards his frustration would be any different if she knew that he was raped. He said he couldn't say for sure.

What do you think?

Edited by TyeDyeWildebeest on Jul 16th 2018 at 8:08:50 AM

I'd like to think so, but I doubt it.

It’s an interesting concept as a way to showcase issues to a class, but yes it does run headlong into the issues they encountered, that that’s not the kind of thing someone who has trauma related to being made powerless and being abused by a women is going to find easy.

Thing is I don’t see a way around something like that without some kind of disclosure to the teacher.

Well I'd hope really a teacher would just...not do things like that. For exactly that reason. You've really got no idea what experiences your students have had, after all.

Even I would have a lot of difficulty trusting that teacher after a class like that, and due to my gender I wouldn't have even been on the losing end. Let's just saying seeing a teacher single people out to treat them differently would stir up some bad memories.

Basically it was a stupid excercise, yeesh.

It's basically pushing the buttons of the students that have suffered bad experiences. It's a really bad idea.

Is really that hard just make a "FTM Rape" tag instead of "reverse rape"?

Most people seem to confuse Female-on-male rape with just a form of femdom. It's really messed up. (of course, there a lot of issues regarding porn, is just hard to speak of them because most of us aren't thinking about porn)

Edited by KazuyaProta on Jul 16th 2018 at 8:25:14 AM

I personally find femdom to be generally uncomrfortable in general alongside female on male rape.

I will admit I like femdoms to a certain degree.....which might not be a good thing considering I have had bad experiences with women that were both strangers and previous romantic partners.

I guess a part of me hopes to experience that in a relatively safe setting comparably to my own bad experiences. Or maybe its just an odd way to work through bad experiences, I dunno.

I would not like it if a teacher singled me out considering I have experienced some of the issues women have dealt with and can understand the issues without being singled out in a class. Even if it wasn't me I'd still have issues with it as whose to say the guy being targeted wouldn't have been mistreated by women and men abusing double standards?

Edited by Wispy on Jul 16th 2018 at 7:10:14 AM

Femdom (and Maledom) is consensual and has nothing to do with rape. If you get coerced by someone to sexually dominate them, you're still the victim.

Rape is non-consensual sex. If you're female or male, penetrating or receiving, dominant or submissive does not factor into this definition.

I frankly don't see the issue with that experiment. Yeah, some male students will have had individual bad experiences, but they won't have experience with being silenced en masse just for being men. It's a worthwhile idea. And honestly, I get a little twitchy any time a guy on the Internet starts describing a female prof—let alone one of women's studies—as "smug".